Because I Need You
Aaron didn't need to be told twice. He'd watched men grab at her all night, grab at what was his. True, they hadn't done the sex thing, but he knew they'd both been apprehensive to take their relationship that far when there was so much baggage. Now, however, after watching other men paw her, watching other men's hands trail down her back, Aaron knew that having her tonight was his top priority. Her suggestion told him she was all for it.
They made out in the back of the car like teenagers, though Aaron exercised tremendous restraint. He bunched his hands in the fabric of her skirt, allowed his hands to grip and pull at the soft curls of her hair, but didn't dare allow himself to touch those intimate places reserved for a lover. Not until there was a solidly locked door between them and the rest of the world.
Emily was in full agreement, though she couldn't stop herself from grinding against him in the car. How was she supposed to when she had insecurities coming out of every hole in her armour? Not to mention how delectably hot he looked in a suit. She was, after all, only human.
Both of them knew that somewhere, this was wrong. Sex shouldn't be reassurance. Their first night together wasn't supposed to be desperate and needy, but they needed the reassurance and the stress relief. Aaron had once heard Emily remark to JJ and Morgan something about sex as relief after a case, but he'd never really taken it to heart. The BAU was protective of everything they were so he'd just assumed she wasn't speaking from experience per se. Emily wasn't the type to go out after every case for a one night stand.
And she most definitely needed the reassurance. Chris had been a help in trying to get her to see that Aaron didn't want any of the other women there, but insecurities were never that easy to get rid of. She needed him to show her, to help her understand that he wanted her, not the other women there. His dark eyes when he'd finally gotten the two seconds to dance with her had done wonders to help that worry, but it wasn't the full reassurance she needed.
The car had been instructed to her apartment and it didn't seem like Aaron minded all that much. It wasn't like either of them had anything pressing to do the next day anyway. Emily had pretty much assumed he'd probably end up staying over. They managed to keep their hands off each other as they rode the elevator to her floor, but the second the door closed behind them, all bets were off. Emily found herself unceremoniously shoved up against the door by none other than her boss and she most definitely wasn't complaining.
Aaron wasn't either, removing his hands from her body as she shoved his jacket off of his shoulders. The zipper of her dress fell next, though she wasn't as willing to let go of the buttons she was currently unfastening as he had been to let go of her. He battled her for dominance as he took her mouth again, trying to get the straps of her dress off at the same time she gave up on the buttons and simply ripped his shirt apart. He groaned when her hands made contact with bare skin.
Emily wasn't unaffected. This was what she'd always thought of as the literal version of jumping someone's bones. She didn't have a care in the world as to whether or not they made it to her bed. In fact, her bed seemed so far away. Too far away for them to really make it that far. She didn't have the strength to pull away and suggest it. Finally, she growled, removing her hands from him to pull the straps of her dress off of her arms. The fabric sat at her hips, still covering her lower half, but Aaron didn't seem to mind.
On the contrary, his head was a little focused on something else. He'd seen the back of the black bra, but the new-found knowledge of what exactly she looked like in the garment was one that would fuel any fantasies he had for a while. The front clasp was open in seconds and he indulged himself in the feel of her, grinning when she threw her head back and it impacted hard with the door.
She didn't mind, though. Aaron's hands were doing wonderful things to her body and she could barely summon the will-power to deal with his belt and fly. Then, turnabout was fair play as she delved inside, sneaking past boxers to grasp him in her hand. He bucked against the intrusion and she grinned as his eyes fluttered closed. She moved her hand slowly, stroking him, focusing her attention on him.
He didn't leave her hanging. He let her continue for a few more moments before grasping her wrist in one hand, and boosting her under her ass in the other. She was pinned against the door, her wetness meeting his hard length and she let out a breathy moan that stirred his insides. He wasn't sure how much longer he could wait. He'd wanted her when he'd seen her in the dress, yearned for her as he watched her work the room, needed her when he was forced to endure dance after dance with bimbo airheads while she had to deal with perverts. He'd really just been lucky the hard-on he'd been sporting hadn't been that obvious.
Now, however, she was pinned against her apartment door, already looking ravished even as his hands dove under her skirt to find her wetness. He stroked her a few times through her panties before pushing them aside and spearing an elegant finger inside. He did it again, adding another finger, just to hear her keen.
"God, Aaron," she breathed out as she moved against the intrusion. It wasn't exactly what she wanted, wasn't the friction she desired but it would do for the time being. And she had to admit the roughness of his shooting calluses felt fabulous against her tender skin.
She was hot and wet and tight and Aaron wasn't sure he could hold off much longer from being inside her. He knew Emily deserved better. She deserved a bed with rose petals and the romantic dinner before hand, but all he could think about was sinking into her, reminding her that she was his and reminding himself that he was hers.
His fingers continued until she clenched and tensed. He didn't give her any time to come down from her high before plunging into her. The back of his mind scolded him for his lack of condom use, but his need had overpowered any logic or rationality he'd had. And good God if the woman felt this good he never wanted to use one. He'd have to check with Emily on that one.
For her part, she'd clenched around his invading length immediately, her back arching. He hadn't let the first climax subside before sinking into her and he stretched her to that blurred point of pleasure-pain. It was absolutely glorious bliss. She moaned and panted as he moved against her, deliberately changing the angle so he hit right there, sending her spiralling upwards again. His mouth attached itself to her neck and she arched her head to give him better access as her short nails scraped down his back. He felt so good, so hard, so right inside of her.
It didn't take long for him to climax, but he took her along with him. They stood there, him still nestled inside her as their breathing calmed. Emily tilted her head back as his rested against her shoulder, both of their bodies shaking with the intensity and heaving as they tried to suck in air. Eventually, he pulled out, allowing her to slide down the wall. Her knees were jelly and she wasn't sure there was much she would be able to do for the next ten minutes.
And good God if that was what sex with Aaron Hotchner was going to be like she really had to make sure it happened more often.
Finally, they locked gazes, both pairs of eyes glazed an apologetic.
"You deserved better," he said softly, pulling her body against his, just holding her.
"Mmm," she responded. "But I needed that."
"Mmhmm," he agreed. Then he looked down at them. Her dress was pooled at her waist, though the skirt had fallen when they'd separated. His pants were undone but still on, boxers too. It was a comical sight and he couldn't stop the chuckles that started through him.
'What is it?" she asked against his shoulder, pressing kisses along the skin she could reach without much effort.
"We couldn't even wait to get all of our clothes off."
Emily chuckled then too, realizing what kind of a picture she made with her bra straps still hanging off of her shoulders. "We're pathetic."
He kissed her, slowly and thoroughly. "Shower and bed," he suggested when he pulled away.
"That sounds fantastic," she agreed, nuzzling his cheek and ear.
It hadn't been the perfect first time, but in all honesty, Emily wasn't about to throw stones. There was a dark thrill in knowing he needed her, needed that time to cement what they had. That didn't mean it didn't terrify her and ten minutes later, his body against hers in the shower as his hands worked suds through her hair, Emily voiced her thoughts.
"Is it sad that I need you?" she asked softly, chalking her need to know up to the hormones still running rampant through her body from not one, but two climaxes at the hands of Aaron Hotchner.
His hands tipped her head back into the warm spray of water, watching the soap bubbles float down her skin. "Should it be?"
Emily sighed. "I think so."
Aaron froze. "Why?" He needed her too, something he'd discovered both in a personal and professional capacity. Sometimes it was hard to remember that they'd only been dating four months. But then again, he reminded himself, those four months don't include the other five you lived together.
"Because it's so early in the relationship? Because I'm not even sure of why I need you? Because I'm afraid I need you because you were the only one that was there for me after my attack? I don't know if I need you because I like you or if I need you to keep the demons away."
He considered this a moment, a little bit taken aback by how candid she was about it. "Does it matter? I wasn't aware they were mutually exclusive."
By this point, there were no more suds in her hair so she leaned forward to kiss him. God must love her very much to have given her a man with such perfect answers. They finished the shower in erotic silence, slipping into pyjamas and then into bed.
"Thank you for braving my parents," she said softly, her head pillowed against his shoulder.
"Jonathan's a nice man," Aaron responded, his hand stroking her back on top of her shirt.
Emily chuckled. "Thank you for braving my mother."
"That doesn't count either. I barely said two words to her all night."
"We seemed to have done quite a good job at playing the parents," she agreed, tracing patterns on his chest. She could feel the tone of his touches changing as she doodled.
He rolled on top of her, kissing her soundly and settling against her body. "I'm sorry you had to deal with all of those men."
She arched into his body, his hands stroking the fire that had ebbed but had not been extinguished. "I'm used to it," she replied, moaning softly as his hands slipped under her shirt. Absently, she wondered why they'd even put clothes on in the first place. Her legs had opened to accommodate his hips and she wrapped them around him as she initiated the next kiss. "And all those women…"
"None of them could name a single serial killer in the last 200 years," he said, finding a sensitive spot under her jaw. He laved his tongue against it just to hear her whimper.
She laughed at that, pushing herself up slightly so he could slip her shirt over her head. She didn't wear a bra to bed for comfort reasons so it left her with no barrier between his hands and her body. She breathed in sharply as his thumbs flicked across her chest. "I didn't know that was a turn on."
He made quick work of his own shirt, giving her a full view of his comfortably muscled chest. "Intellect is always a turn on."
Emily sighed as she brushed her fingers across his nipples, watching them harden under her touch. Sometimes she thought their relationship was the oddest thing in the world. Here they were, about to have sex for the second time in the entirety of their relationship – she didn't dare call it making love for fear of the unintended consequences - and having a logical and mostly rational conversation at the same time. Wonders would never cease.
Her pyjama bottoms and panties were the next things to go and his hands stroked up the outside of her thighs. "Condom?"
"Pointless now, isn't it?" she replied, pushing his own lounge pants down. "I'm on the pill for cramps and I don't have anything."
He knew what she meant. It was standard procedure to get a check up once a year. "The pill isn't 100 percent effective," he pointed out.
"True," she said on a gasp as his hands wandered to her inner thighs. "But neither is a condom."
"Better to be safe than sorry."
She let out a breath of air. "If you want to go through the process of finding them, be my guest. I'm not sure I even have any." She just wanted him inside her again. Soon.
That caught him by surprise. "You?"
Emily flashed him a self-deprecating grin. "Between the job and the nerd complex I don't exactly need them." It wouldn't do her any good to mention that over the last year or so he'd been the only man she'd wanted anyway.
Compliments now would just seem superficial and Aaron knew she wasn't looking for them. Instead, he slipped a few fingers to her heat, testing, probing, arousing. He soon replaced his hands with something thicker and groaned as he slid home. He took his time moving against her, wanting to show her that as much as he desperately wanted her, she was precious too.
A sigh escaped her mouth as he moved and she allowed her eyes to slip closed. Doing her against the door had been a hot way to start off their physical relationship and that desperate need had been well received and returned, but this was so much sweeter for his slow slide in and out of her body. She kissed him as he twisted against her, pairing the full feeling with intense friction. She mewled into his mouth and felt more than heard his returning groan.
This one lasted longer and was all the more fulfilling for the slow build instead of the rush to the finish line. He collapsed on top of her and rolled over, bringing her with him. She snuggled against him immediately and Aaron closed his eyes, intent on sleeping.
"If I roll into the wet spot in the middle of the night, I'm waking you up to help me change the sheets," she mumbled into his shoulder.
Aaron chuckled as sleep overtook him.