AN: I'm bored with my other story, so I took a temporary break from it to write something more light- hearted. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!!
It was a typical Tuesday night at the office. Or, Wednesday morning actually. Gibbs had ordered the team to stay behind to try and locate some of the suspects for a case.
Tony glanced over at Ziva. She was slumped over on her desk, clearly her fatigue from many similar nights of investigation had finally gotten to her. She was usually the one to battle on through her tiredness, while Tony and McGee napped. But tonight, she obviously couldn't resist the temptation of sleep any longer. Tony chuckled to himself, Who's the bad employee now Miss David?
Meanwhile, Tony, who was on a caffeine buzz, had gotten distracted from the task assigned to him and was busy playing "Rate my boobs"- an internet game partner to his all time favourite- "Rate my butt". McGee was standing behind him, aiding him in his quest of male immaturity. Gibbs was nowhere to be seen. Both agents assumed, with a shudder, that he was taking a nap on one of Ducky's cadaver tables.
"What about this one? Now those are precious. We're talking Pam Anderson and Angelia combined my friend. I give her a five. Hands down."
"Too big," McGee replied casually.
Tony flipped around to face him, a look of shock on his face, "Too big? Is there really any such thing? Are you sure that you're not of the homosexual persuasion McGee? Because, you know, McGay isn't a far stretch from McGee."
"I'm not gay Tony… just because I don't like big breasts it doesn't mean tha-"
He was cut off by Tony raising a hand to silence him.
"Did you hear that?" he asked tensely.
"You being a chauvinistic pig? Yup, I think that I caught wind of it," McGee replied, smirking.
"Haha. Very funny. No, I'm talking about Ziva. She made a noise." he whispered, staring hard at her sleeping form. McGee walked back to his own desk, rolling his eyes as he did so.
"Well, Tony… I hate to burst your bubble, but it's not uncommon for people to make noises while they sleep. In fact, it's scientifically proven tha-"
"It wasn't just a noise noise McSmartass, it was a sex noise," Tony said the last words with incredible intensity, causing McGee to turn around and return to where he had previously stood.
"Tony, are you sure that you're not just incredibly sleep depriv…?"
This time they both heard it. An audible moan originating straight from their partner's lips.
McGee laughed, "You're never going to let her live this one down, are you Tony?"
"Shhhhh," Tony replied. He was gazing at Ziva intently, waiting for the next sound to escape her lips, "This is our new form of entertainment. Goodbye "Rate my boobs", hello "Ziva sleep talk.""
McGee resisted the urge to give Tony a head slap, "You pervert! I don't think that Ziva would appreciate being spied on like this."
Tony turned around and replied in a gleeful voice, "That's the beauty of it McPrude, she's asleep, so she's never gonna know. Do you still have that video camera with you from a few weeks ago. We should really get this on tape as blackmail mater-"
"Oh yesss Tony. Don't stop."
Tony almost fell off his chair, and had a heart attack, all at once.
"Did you hear that?? Did you hear that McGee?! She said my name. My name. I'm her sleeping sexual fantasy!!"
He resisted the urge to get up and start dancing on the table, vying for the floor instead. His victory dance was short lived however, as Ziva continued to vocalize the pleasures of her dream.
"Tony… yes, right there."
Oh man David, why are you doing this to me?
He felt a stir in his pants. No. Bad news. None of that.
"Just like so many others have, Ziva over there is clearly fully enjoying the Dynamic Dinozzo experience. You know what this means, right Probie? That on an underlying level, she wants me. Ziva wants me. That's right, I speak the truth. Dreams are a reflection of the greatest desires of the subconscious."
McGee snorted, "Either that, or she's in love with you."
Tony flipped around to face him, his pulse speeding up unintentionally. He tried to keep his voice casual, "What's with that theory of yours McGee? You wrote about that in Deep Six too. Got any proof for that, or are you just pulling it out of your ass?"
"Well, it's fairly obvious isn't it Tony?"
Tony blushed slightly and considered the prospect for a moment.
Ziva… in love with me?
He couldn't say that he didn't like the idea.
"Ohh Tony, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Tony, ohhhhhhhh."
Tony blinked once. Twice.
"Di-did we just hear Ziva dreamgasm McGee?" he asked his partner hoarsely.
"That's what it sounded like Tony," McGee responded quietly, slightly aroused, but not nearly as much so as Tony.
Tony grinned triumphantly, "HaHA! I made Ziva dreamgasm!! I made Ziva dreamgasm! Dinozzo strikes again!" He looked down, little Tony was acting up.
"I have to go to the bathroom…"
As he stood up, he heard a voice murmur coyly beside him, "A little bit uncomfortable there Tony?"
He turned around to see Ziva sitting upright in her seat with an irreplaceable smirk on her face.
Tony blushed furiously, "Bu- but you were asleep! You were slumped down on your desk."
"Well, yes, but now I am up, as are you, it would appear" she replied demurely, her eyes flicking down towards Tony's arousal for a moment before returning to his face.
Tony's blush deepened. It wasn't helping that McGee was laughing like a hyena in the background.
Fooled again Dinozzo!
"Ziva, that was brilliant!" McGee informed her, still laughing up a storm.
"Well, of course it was," Ziva replied. She got up from her seat and sauntered over to Tony. Her face barely an inch away from his, she looked up into his eyes and said, "I was enjoying the Dynamic Dinozzo experience."
McGee howled with laughter. After maintaining eye contact with Ziva for a moment, Tony turned around to him, "Shut up McGee!" he snapped.
Turning back to Ziva, he tried to retain some of his integrity. He murmured, "Well, if you want to enjoy it in real life.. My door's always open Zee-vah."
Grinning, he turned on his heel and stalked off towards the men's room. Halfway there, he turned back around to face her, "Oh, and by the way. I forfeit the Dinozzo cup to you."
Ziva frowned, "I do not want your cup Tony!"
"The cup honouring excellent skills in the vast world of prank- manship Zee-vah. But now we know where your mind is."
With a quick wink, he turned the corner.
"Yes! I get the cup!" Ziva announced triumphantly to McGee.
"You know he's going to get you back, right?" McGee asked her, smiling.
Ziva grinned. As long as no more discussion of her being in love with him was involved, she was fine with the idea. She hated hearing mention of that, it hit way too close to home.
"Let the games begin," she replied with a small smile.
AN: I don't know if I wan this to be kept as a one shot or made into a full out prank war! Tell me what you think!!