I Believed My Own Lies
Main Pairing: Chase/House
Spoilers: Set during season three including references to Det. Tritter. Canon references to season one and two, and I had to move Chase and Cameron's relationship to an earlier period, like towards the end of Stacy's time in House MD. Rating will go up!
Disclaimer: NO! I do not own House MD. WARNING: Part one replies heavily on the use of the transcript of episode 3x10 'A Merry Little Christmas' but the rest of the stories will be very AU and will concentrate on Chase and Chase and House's relationship. Just to make sure this is really clear, ANYTHING you recognise from 3x10 is not mine and I do not claim it.
Summary: set during 3x10; when Cameron goes to a detox-ing House's apartment looking for a diagnosis she finds Chase is already there in a non-work related capacity. House/Chase slash. Following this point is lots of ANGST. I mean a serious amount, from breaking hearts to S&M clubs to gay bashing and abusive relationships and lots more fun stuff. PLEASE READ AND COMMENT.
Cameron wasn't going to let Abigail die just because Cuddy was too stubborn to give House his pills and Wilson was to stubborn to admit that autoimmune made more sense than cancer. So she decided to go straight to the source: House. She knocked on his door, hoping that he was still in a state where he could answer.
"Unless you've got vicodin, go away." He croaked from within his apartment. Cameron would have laughed or smiled if it had been under any other circumstances. But House's own health as well as the life of the fifteen year old dwarf, and Wilson's betrayal, all weighed her down.
"House, it's me. I er-"
She was surprised, pleased, and shocked when he opened the door, even if it was only far enough to poke his head out in order to talk to her. She noticed that his eyes were bloodshot and his skin was sallow; it looked like he was dying, not detoxing. Immediately she felt a little guilty for not bringing even a single pill to relieve his pain. "Oh god. I don't have-"
"No pills, no eggnog." House joked feebly.
Cameron's eyes wondered and the sight of a bandage on his arm shocked her. Withdrawal and pain, yes. But why did he have a banage on his arm? The doctor and the woman in her both cried out to him. "What happened to your arm?" She asked.
House let the door swing open a bit further to expose the badly wrapped arm and admitted, "Cut myself."
Not sure if she was following the instincts of her inner woman or her inner doctor but Cameron used this to pushed the door open the rest of the way and brushed past House, who was in not state to stop her, before he let the door slide shut behind her.
Once inside House's messy apartment she directed him to sit on his sofa and grabbed medical supplies from the bathroom; scissors, tape, bandage, a solution to clean the wounds so it wouldn't get infected… Soon she was redressing the wound, using this excuse to monitor his health as she attempted to get a diagnosis. Abigail needed more help than House right now.
Cameron began, not subtly but right out with it, House respected people more for honesty and forthrightness. "Wilson was wrong about lymphoma. The kid's not losing any weight, no night sweats."
House asked, "Cuddy send you?" through a haze of pain.
"No. She doesn't trust me not to give you pills." Cameron told him, slightly bitterly. It was annoying to her to have to reiterate that she didn't love House and that she had a backbone every time she stuck up for him or agreed with him.
"She right?" Even House thought he could use her… past affections… to score drugs from her. She ignored the question, hoping that it just came from his craving vicodin and not him actually thinking so lowly of her.
"House! These cuts are straight in a row. You did this on purpose!"
He didn't even try to deny it. "Cutting releases endorphins, endorphins relieve pain. Can you get me some pills?" Drug-seeking behaviour.
"No." Cameron said strongly, trying not to be annoyed at him.
"Well then you can leave." House however was making no efforts to be polite or courteous. Which was almost a relief, he was like this on the pills, too.
"No," Cameron insisted again, finishing up the bandage and standing up with her arms across her chest. "Not until I get a diagnosis I can use. House, this girl is dying and Cuddy won't go with either me or Wilson."
In her passion and dedication and House's pain filled withdrawal, neither had noticed the sound of the door being opened or the presence of a third person standing there.
"He isn't going to give you a diagnosis – so leave." Chase said from his position, not pleased to walk in on House and Cameron together. He had thought it was safe to pop in to check on House's condition with Foreman busy, and Wilson and Cameron trying to out-prove each other's diagnosis. Of course he should have suspected that Cameron would come running to House.
"What… I… What?" Cameron stuttered, looking from Chase's stony face to House's un-surprised one.
"Back so soon?" House said hoarsely as he laid back into the couch.
"Thought I'd bring you some real food. Might help the withdrawal if you actually ate something other than pizza and Chinese takeaway." Chase said, motioning towards a bag by the door full of groceries. His eyes never left Cameron's face, the shock, curiosity, and disbelief raging across it. House moaned at the thought of all the healthy food that Chase would probably make him try to eat, and the effort it would take not to puke it all up ten seconds later.
The sound drew Chase's eyes to House where he saw the bandage and immediately rushed to his side to examine his arm, although instead of tearing off the bandage he asked them what had happened.
"He cut himself, to release endorphins to relief the pain." Cameron answered automatically, causing Chase to glower at her. He did not like her knowing more about House's condition than he did himself.
"You get any vicodin while you were on your little shopping trip?" House asked.
"Did you?" Cameron asked, making it sound like an accusation.
"No, but I did get you some metaclopamine." Chase said to House, trying his best to ignore Cameron in hopes that she'd get the message and leave.
"To stop me puking so I can eat whatever crap you cook up for me?" House said.
Chase smiled slightly. "Hamburgers that actually have meat in them with a side of salad is not crap. And when the metaclopamine wears off or stops being effective the food will give you something to throw up instead of ruining your digestive track and puking up any more of your stomach lining."
"Metaclopamine? You're giving him drugs?" Cameron said.
"They'd give him it in rehab anyway." Chase defended himself.
"Yeah, so why don't you encourage him to go there and get it?" She asked.
"Because he's in pain and he keeps puking every fifteen minutes!" Chase retaliated angrily.
"Since when do you care?" She bitched, something she was making a specialty of this year.
"Since forever! Since three years ago when I started sleeping with him!" Chase admitted accidentally, and then he saw reality crashing down on her, and she ran for the door forgetting all about Abigail. Chase would have stopped her except House grabbed his leg and used it to hold himself as he leaned over and found a bucket and began puking. When he had finished Chase helped him lie back, got him some pills and a glass of water cautioning him against dry swallowing. As House panted and rested on the sofa, Chase found his own position and began gently massaging House's leg as House stroked the nape of Chase's neck soothingly. Chase stayed quiet, afraid if he spoke he'd just end up saying something bitter and angry about Cameron.
Back at the hospital Cameron ran into Cuddy. "What did he say?"
"Nothing, I didn't get a chance to talk to him properly." Cameron said, aggravated beyond anything she had ever before experienced, even considering all the jack-ass stuff he'd put her and the others through, including their 'non dates' and his detoxing and his mean remarks. "Chase interrupted us!"
"Chase?" Cuddy asked, seeming confused. "I thought he was-"
"Wait, do you know about them?" Cameron asked, outraged and shocked that Cuddy would condone a relationship between Chase and House (if it could be called a relationship – a voice in the back of her head snipped). She certainly hadn't liked it when Cameron had been pursuing House a few years ago, and after everyone had found out that Cameron had slept with Chase she'd actively warmed Cameron that not only was it not a good idea, but that Cameron would get her heart broken… maybe prior knowledge about Chase and House was why she had been so tough on Cameron!
"Well… I… Yes. Okay? Yes I have known about Chase and House's involvement since it started, which I believe is shortly before you joined us. And for legal reasons, e.g. the possibility of Chase suing us for sexual harassment, I have kept an eye on them making sure that House treats him no differently than you or Foreman and that their privet life is kept at home. It helps having glass doors and patients running around the hospital."
"So, you approve?" She asked, gob-smacked.
"It's House and Chase's decisions. Yes, I had my doubts but three years of this and Chase still hasn't given up? He must be in love, and I assume House has some sort of feelings for Chase or he wouldn't have kept him around so long. They don't need my approval Cameron, and I doubt they'll be looking for yours either."
Twenty minutes later Cuddy and the others were still worrying over Abigail and how much she wasn't improving when Chase called Wilson up.
"Chase says that House says it's Still's Disease." Wilson told them all. Foreman frowned, confused at why Chase would be with House, but he didn't let it fester instead he pointed out that it didn't explain the bleeding that Abigail had just been through.
"Hello, House? Yes, that's right. Nothing showed upon the CT scan and we've already ruled out a bleeding disorder, steroids helped for a while but... Lymphoma is off the table but we could test her bone marrow for leukaemia… Steroids caused the bleeding so it's not autoimmune then it must be cancer! What do you mean why can't it be both… And stop calling her that! Call a dwarf a dwarf... It's insulting, that's why. It's not insulting to call a dwarf a dwarf is she is a dwarf… what? That's crazy, the problem is no where near her leg why would we x-ray it? Oh… okay. It's possible but rare… yes okay Doctor-Know-it-all go back to your boyfriend I'll go cure your patient. And no, I'm not sending you any vicodin. Goodbye!" He shut off his cell phone and turned to the others. "He says to x-ray her leg and if she doesn't have any skeletal dwarfism then treat her for Langerhans Cell Histiocytosis."
"Cancer and an autoimmune disease?" Cuddy questioned.
"It makes sense. She responded to the steroids until the cancer kicked in. And the missing neurobiological symptom is her height." Foreman said, sounding surprised.
"Okay, let's go get an x-ray of her leg and then, if he's right we can start treatment." Cuddy said and the group moved off to see Abigail, Cameron lagged behind intent on cornering Wilson, who pointed out, "of course he is right, he's always right! Even detoxing he can still out-diagnose us, how depressing is that!"
With Cuddy and Foreman gone Cameron felt comfortable enough to address the real reason for her being in Wilson's office. "So you know about House and Chase to? Does everybody but me know?"
Wilson looked surprised at her question. "No not everybody knows… Me, Cuddy, House and Chase obviously, and the janitor who wears his trousers backwards. I think that's everybody who knows, and now you. And Foreman if he was paying attention just a minute ago. How do you feel about this?"
"Shocked. And pissed. Why, how do you feel about it?" Cameron asked, already over being mad at Wilson for 'betraying' House to Tritter.
"Honestly? I've had three years to get over it and I still feel shocked, weirded out, confused, cautious, and a little pissed. But he is my best friend so I'm not about to admit that to his face. And since he has started sleeping with Chase, payment to hookers stop showing upon my credit card. At least, less often." Wilson admitted.
"Huh." Cameron didn't know what to say to that.
"Look, do you want to know the reason I went to Tritter? It's because drug addicts hurt the people who love them. But until that day, Chase, the person who's probably closest to House at least physically, has been pretty unaffected by House's addiction. But when I found out that House had punched Chase, for no reason? Then I had to do something. So I called Tritter and sold my soul to the devil, if you like, and tried to help him out. If he'd just take the deal… but he won't and I don't think Chase believes in himself enough to try and convince House to take the deal. I think since House punched Chase – and you just know he never apologised – Chase doesn't think House cares enough about him for him to have any influence so he's kind of… given up. And now House will end up in prison, and I will feel responsible for that, so will Cuddy and Chase. But House won't. He'll blame Tritter and he'll blame us, but he'll never realise it's partially his fault."
Cameron left, all that weighing heavily on her mind.
In the end Chase was able to convince House, by whatever means, to take the deal and House booked himself into the upstairs rehab centre, avoiding jail time and a nasty trail.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE comment.
I really love reading people's comments, it makes me smile and be happy and feel motivated to write more. And this will be a series if people comment and say they like it. It will concentrate on House/Chase from Chase's POV and all the things I'm gonna put them through. So please COMMENT.
Thank you for reading.