Forgotten Lust


Edward Cullen

Oh fuck, that's nice…I'm going insane, didn't think vampires could go insane. I mean I didn't just here Bella think, I never have never heard her. Why would I hear her now? Maybe because she's pregnant…oh fuck, pregnant…Fuck. I blame Emmett for my new found diction.

"Carlisle please allow me to re-introduce Isabella, my wife." No. Not his. Never his. Even in the mad hallucinations of my grief stricken mind it infuriated me to hear another laying claim to my Bella. She didn't even like being called Isabella.

Her newly found mental voice agreed with me. "I really wish he wouldn't call me that." She thought with considerable asperity. "Is Bella so hard to say? You'd think after being married to me for…I don't know how long but it must be a long time he'd know how much I hate being called Isabella." I knew how much she hated people calling her that and I never even made it to the wedding. And she's not his! My internal voice yelled in fury. Then my rational mind caught up with my actions and I groaned internally. I'm insane, I'm stuck in that weird human show "The Twilight Zone"; yes this is some very psychotic shit, I didn't know vampires could sleep let alone dream, how odd. Of course I'd never met a vampire who'd gone mad. Perhaps I was dead and this was hell. Yes, that made sense. This was the most terrible torture I could imagine. To see my Bella with another man. A killer, someone evil. Unable to remember me.

Carlisle's voice cut through my agonized thoughts "Hello Bella." he said, emphasizing her name. He too had caught Aro's disregard for her preferences and it angered him. "It's so good to see you again, you look well."

"Thank you." She said warmly, smiling genuinely at him. Why is it that my husband can't remember to call me Bella but this person I can't even remember meeting can? "I'm very sorry, but I…I just can't recall meeting you before. I don't even know who you are." Her confession was tinged with real sorrow. My heart broke a little more but then I saw her blush. My venom warmed, she was breathtaking normally but when she blushed…

Carlisle was surprised. I wonder…perhaps she's just scared? No, she really doesn't remember. "You don't remember me?" he asked hurt and grieved by the fact that one of his daughters –as he saw her- had lost all memory of him. "What about Edward?" he asked encouragingly. Surely she cannot have forgotten Edward. Not entirely. Their bond is so strong… "Do you remember him?" He gestured to me and Bella looked down at her lap, I think meaning to hide her blush. Her hands fidgeted while still resting on the bulge. I hate telling people I can't remember them. She thought anguished. She looked up, taking a deep breath before her gaze flickered to meet mine and I heard her heart start to race.

"Edward? He's the one from my dreams! Why do I keep seeing him everywhere? His eyes are so beautiful, so familiar. He is so handsome and my heart tells me it belongs to him. But how can it be his if I'm Aro's wife?"

Before she could speak Aro interrupted smugly. "She doesn't remember anything of her life Carlisle," he boasted. "absolutely nothing. We think it's because of the baby."

Alice peered around Carlisle and stared at Bella incredulously. "What?" She asked in shock and continued to stare wide eyed at Bella, as if she had just noticed her presence.

"Would someone please explain to me what is going on?" Carlisle was so confused. His one time friend was married to his son's fiancée and said fiancée had no idea who he or her affianced were. He didn't even know what had brought it on. He was distressed, worried, angry, betrayed and confused. He wanted answers so he knew who he should feel what for and why everything was so crazy and fucked up.

Fucked up. That brought to mind the acronym I'd heard in so many minds. FINE. My standard reply to all queries about my health these days. Fucked up. Insecure. Neurotic. Emotional. An apt description of my mental health. I almost burst into hysterical laughter but realized that it would be the final proof that I was completely not fine.

Thankfully since vampires didn't change no one could tell how close I was to madness. That I was teetering on the edge and at times afraid that I'd fallen over. My hair was more disordered than usual true. My eyes were coal black from hunger-I hadn't fed since that night. My state of dress could be described as dishabille. I had worn the same clothes for weeks and they were the worse for wear. And yet I occasioned little remark. Only my family were concerned and they didn't know the half of it…

This time it was Aro's voice that interrupted my feverish contemplations-a feeble attempt to try and distract myself from everything that was wrong with me, and the very obvious, incredibly dire situation at hand. "Isabella awoke from a night's sleep and she didn't have any memory whatsoever of her past, or who she even was. On that same day she found out she was pregnant." How could such a whispery voice be so grating? "Obviously the pregnancy is not normal…if you look at her she looks about nine months, however, she is only a month and two weeks along…a half-human half-vampire child. Mine." Hah. Dream on. As if she would lie with you. Wrinkled and weak. You horrified her when first she saw you, do you truly believe that she would lower herself to sleep with you? Despite my skepticism and black rage I hung on Aro's every word. I figured if this was a dream I might as well not waste it.

Then the realization hit me, and my photographic memory, sharpened by pleasure, pain, guilt and despair, transported me back to that night -exactly one month and two weeks ago today. Everything was so clear, so fresh; it was as if that day had imprinted itself on me. The way her soft skin felt under my questing fingers, the way her back arched when I touched her in the most intimate of ways, the vibration of her throat as soft moans escaped her lips…my razor sharp teeth inching ever closer to the pulsing vein in her neck.

I shuddered. What I had done was despicable but the methods didn't matter. What did was the end result. That baby was mine. Bella was mine. I would have her back in my arms. I'd fight to the death if I had to…

Death. I am dead and a bringer of death. I almost killed my Bella, my love. All too quickly the memory of her tear-stained cheeks pressed cruelly into my mind. I nearly moaned with grief and guilt. I was sick with shame and self loathing.

I had hurt her, and she had found a way to forget the pain I had inflicted.

I was a monster.

But so is he.

Disclaimer: I own nothing not the characters nor the books the credit goes to Stephanie Meyer. I just created this FICTION!

Beta and re-worded by: Phantom-writer3739 [Awesome-est Beta ever]

Playlist: System: Chester of Linkin Park

A/N: So this was a chapter taken from the original sequel to MD: Forgotten Lust this was original chapter 4 but as I've mentioned I'm re-writing [with the big help of my Beta] the story that will be posted in late May 09 or in the summer of 09. Please review and tell me what you would like to see in the sequel.