It had been the dumbest thing he had done, and it had cost him his summer. The car race had been stupid, so many things could have happened, for one the people in Mabel's table could have been killed. But if he hadn't been an idiot he never would have met her.
Samantha. A sigh of a ghosts name, the one who taught him how to live. How to love. Her charm and wit had intrigued him and her open friendliness had appealed to his lonely soul.
Another sigh, the wind soft and gentle like a loving caress whisked it away. He loved and hated coming here, to Sam's favourite place. He heard her here every time he visited a shadow of a once happy memory.
'Once happy now lost.' And that's whisked away too and he's left look but never really see. All he wants is to see her.
"My god it's beautiful"
But not beautiful enough. Nothing was ever beautiful without Samantha, everything about her was beautiful, her appearance, personality, everything. How could anything possibly compete with that?
Kelley had lost a great deal in life, his father who too concerned about work, his mother who had given up, and Samantha who had fought so hard but lost anyway. And he had lost her; he couldn't hold her hand, kiss her or simply be with her. Not anymore.
It had been three months since Sam's funeral, three empty months.
He had stopped seeing her after he had visited her that once in hospital, he couldn't take in that the women he loved was dying.
"Could you die from this?"
"I am going to die from this."
She had accepted it long before anyone else could. Had known what was happening in her body and would continue happening until she died.
"So you're just gonna give up? You're just gonna die?"
"No, im going to live."
And, oh how she had lived. He had shown up at the re-opening of Mabel's table, nervous and clutching his mother's roses. She had forgiven him almost wordlessly and he had put his love for her where the whole town would see it.
'Kelley loves Sam'
And they had kissed, sweetly and familiar and loving.
They spent the biggest part of the following year together not wanting to waste a single moment.
But Sam was growing weaker and tired more easily and they knew though it choked them up to think and talk about it. They knew that there wasn't going to be much more time.
They cried and they held each other, they kissed and they whispered words of love as they focused on simply being.
And Sam died. Of the past year or so of knowing and the all the hurt they had felt, he always knew that when the time came h would hurt more than he had in all those months put together.
He cried and he screamed and felt as though he was being ripped apart inside, but he talked at the funeral. Not for him, or even her family who had grown used to him, but for her, to somehow get hid words and meaning and absolute love to her wherever she was. And when he choked and cried he remembers, he remembers every little thing about her, determined never to forget even the slightest of things.
Love hurts and he felt every pain. How do you cope losing the one you love to cancer? Simple you don't.
"Im going to live, just not as long as you."
And he would live, for his weekly visits to her favourite place . . .
Kelley stopped writing, his throat tight as he closed his eyes and breathed in a deep mouthful of air, and let it out in a rush as his eyes opened. His eyes sting with tiredness and tears as words she had said to him ran through his mind.
Storing his book away he sat and closed his eyes and tried to get away from the pain for a while.
I know it's not very long and actually I wrote this a while ago but after watching the film again I decided to post this.