Time and Time and Time Again...

Genres: General, Humour
Spoilers: Window of Opportunity
Season: Seven
Rating: K+ for mild language

Summary: An alien device promises big things! That's always nice. Right? A series of six double-drabbles.

Notes: This story is an SG-1 treatment of a week-long gag that Sluggy Freelance ran years ago. I like to think of it as an homage, which is really just a polite way of saying I ripped it off. I don't own SG-1, and I don't own Sluggy, but go buy their stuff so neither of them feels the need to sue me, okay?

Thanks so much to my fantabulous beta, Thraesja, who never ever complains when I send her a story with a specific word count. Isn't she great? :)

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

On his way to Carter's lab, Jack passed Siler on a ladder. "You be careful up there, Siler."

The Sergeant craned his neck around the pipes he was working on to smile at Jack. "Always am, sir."

Nodding, Jack continued on his way. "Good morning, campers!" he said cheerfully upon entering the lab. Carter and Daniel were hunched over something on the bench. They looked up, and he smiled. "What are you two working on?"

"It's the device SG-6 brought back from PD1-770," Carter said. "Daniel's been helping me translate the writings on it."

Jack eyed the device carefully. It was about the same size and shape as a softball, but made of shiny metal. Small crystals embedded in its surface glowed with different colours. "What's it do?"

"It's fascinating, Jack." Daniel grinned, gesturing at some markings between two crystals. He pointed to one crystal that was pulsing with a yellow light. "I think, if we press this crystal, all the secrets of the universe will be revealed!"

Jack shook his head. "Are you sure that's a good—"

There was a click as Daniel pressed the crystal. The room filled with a bright white light.

And then everything went black.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Daniel smiled as he found the symbol he was looking for in a reference text. He looked at Sam, who was also leaning over the device on the bench.

"This is incredible," he said.

She nodded. "I know! After we create a stable bubble of anti-time, we'll be able to access Ancient knowledge!"

"Imagine knowing what they knew." Daniel tried unsuccessfully to keep his excitement in check. "Imagine what we could understand!"

"Imagine the Colonel not being able to pretend he can't understand everything we say."

Daniel grinned. "You're right. It'll never work."

"Good morning, campers!"

They both looked up as Jack bounced into the lab. Whoops. Speak of the devil.

"What are you two working on?" he asked.

Sam sighed quietly before explaining. "It's the device SG-6 brought back from PD1-770. Daniel's been helping me translate the writings on it."

Jack squinted at the device. "What's it do?"

"It's fascinating, Jack." Daniel pointed at a yellow crystal. "I think, if we press this crystal, all the secrets of the universe will be revealed!"

"Are you sure that's a—" Jack stopped, frowning. "Wait a minute..."

Daniel pressed the crystal with a click. There was a blinding white light. Then, blackness.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Sam watched as Daniel flipped to another page in his book. Suddenly, his face lit up, and she knew his translation had confirmed her suspicions.

"This is incredible," he said.

Sam laughed. "I knew you were going to say that!"

"I can't believe we'll be able to access Ancient knowledge."

"Imagine what we could understand!"

Daniel's eyebrows rose mischievously. "It'll sure tick Jack off."

Sam gave her friend's shoulder a nudge. "You're terrible."

"Good morning, campers!"

They looked up as Colonel O'Neill entered the room. Sam hoped that he hadn't overheard their conversation.

"What are you two working on?" he asked.

Sam stifled a sigh, knowing her commanding officer hadn't read the report she had submitted the day before. "It's the device SG-6 brought back from PD1-770. Daniel's been—"

"Helping you translate the writings on it," the Colonel interrupted.

Sam blinked. "Yeah. How did you know?"

"Uh, he's always doing that. It is his job."

Daniel rolled his eyes. "I'd like to think I'm a bit more useful than that, Jack. Now, I think if we press this crystal, all the secrets of the universe will be revealed!"

"I don't think—"

Click. A blinding white light. Then equally blinding blackness.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Teal'c walked down the corridor toward Major Carter's lab. He had read her report about the device that SG-6 had recovered from PD1-770, and he wished to examine it.

A few paces away, Sergeant Siler was performing maintenance on something in the ceiling. The ladder he was standing on wobbled, and Teal'c caught the man as he fell.

"Thanks," said Sergeant Siler as Teal'c set him on his feet. "That would have hurt."

Indeed. Teal'c silently bowed his head in response before continuing down the corridor. Nearing a corner, he stopped. Although he could not recall events similar to those that that had just transpired occurring previously, they did seem quite familiar.

Suddenly, someone ran around the corner, slamming into Teal'c and falling backwards onto the floor with a grunt of pain. Teal'c recognised the airman as the one he had repeatedly encountered on the other side of a door when he and O'Neill had been trapped in a time loop three years ago.

As he looked down at the airman sprawled on the floor before him, Teal'c felt a strange sense of satisfaction.

For a brief moment, the corridor filled with a bright white light, then everything went black.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Good morning, camp—" Jack hesitated at the door to Carter's lab. This all felt rather familiar. "Whoa. Déjà vu."

"This is the device from—"

"PD1-770," Jack interrupted Carter's explanation. He waved his hand in Daniel's general direction. "And Daniel's translating."

Her eyebrows rose. "You read my report?"

"Uh, of course."

"You okay, Jack?" asked Daniel.

"Yeah. It's just been a long day." Jack frowned, scratching his head. "I think, anyway."

He turned his attention back to the device they were studying. "So what's it do?"

Carter's eyes narrowed, giving Jack the distinct impression that what she was about to say was in the report still sitting on his desk. Damn. Busted.

"As far as we can tell, it should create a bubble of anti-time that will allow us to access Ancient knowledge."

"Anti-time?"

Daniel nodded. "All we have to do is press this crystal!"

Jack jumped into the room, reaching for the device. "No one is touching that crystal!"

"Sir?"

"Jack, what are you—"

"Ah!" He held one finger in the air, halting their questions. "I mean it. It's off limits." Jack pointed at the yellow crystal. "No one is touching this—"

Under his finger, the crystal clicked.

"Ah, crap."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Daniel sensed someone else in the room and looked up. Jack stood in the doorway, a puzzled expression on his face.

"Jack? You okay?"

"Ever get the feeling you've been here before?"

"You have been here before," Daniel said slowly.

Jack rolled his eyes. He pointed to the device on the bench. "I mean I've seen that before. Haven't you?"

"Um, yes, sir," said Sam. "We've been studying it for a couple of days now, and there's a picture of it in the report I gave you yesterday."

"If we press this crystal..." Daniel's voice trailed off as he indicated the crystal in question.

"Wait a minute," said Sam.

Daniel lowered his hand. "Yeah."

"I was just going to say—" Jack leaned against one of Sam's bookshelves, which caused it to shift. There was a loud crash as something shattered on the concrete floor. "Sorry, Carter. Nothing important, I hope?"

"Cassie made it for me." Sam picked up a shard of ceramic. "It used to be my favourite coffee mug."

Jack winced. "Sorry."

"It's not your fault, sir. Anyway, nothing can be done about it now."

"Actually..." Jack grinned, reaching for the device. "I think you're wrong about that."

Click.

THE END

Note: My productivity will probably drop significantly for the next few months, as this is the last of my stockpiled stories and Thraesja is currently unavailable for betaing. It seems she's a little bit preoccupied with her beautiful brand new baby boy!! Congrats, Thrae!! :)