A/N: And here we have the final installment! Woo-hoo!
ORGASM! 2: The Legend of Kira
Aizawa was the first to recover, him being the sturdiest of the ones there what with Mogi out on errands. He dusted off his suit and tried to look professional however embarrassed he may have been. "Well," he coughed, "that was… unexpected…"
"Ah… ah…" Matsuda was still laying on the floor, the back of his hand to his forehead as if he were a fainted woman in distress. He was staring up at the ceiling in afterglow when Aizawa kicked him in the side. "OW!"
"Get up, you idiot, don't enjoy it!"
Matsuda scrambled up to his feet. "But… I mean, it was-"
"Don't even say it."
Everyone paused and turned around, looking towards the closed bathroom door. There was some thrashing around heard and multiple toilet flushes. They all regarded each other until L said, "Oh, the Chief was in there…"
Raito's eyes rounded. "Wha-"
The door burst open and everyone was greeted with the peaceful scene of a petrified looking Chief with his pants and underwear around his ankles and sweat cascading down his cheeks and quivering old legs.
Matsuda and Raito shielded their eyes.
"Chief, your pants!" Aizawa shouted.
But the Chief didn't heed Aizawa's warning and went waddling across the carpet, scared out of his wits and ended up tripping over his belt, falling flat onto the carpet.
L overlooked the Chief with a thoughtful thumb in his mouth. "Chief, are you all right?"
"No, I'm not all right! I had an orgasm just now!"
"DAD," Raito groaned.
"What went on?"
"Kira strikes again," Matsuda wailed and Aizawa smacked him for it.
Suddenly the door to the room opened with Mogi and a sack full of groceries. He was smiling initially and then, upon looking at all of the sweating and panting and Chief on the floor with his pants down, he frowned again.
At sunset, Raito was allowed to go home. His father, however, along with the other Task Force members stayed at the hotel to deal with further complaints. It was times like these that Raito was very happy he was still a minor.
Raito shut his bedroom door behind him and went over to sit in his chair, turning on the TV for Ryuuk's viewing pleasure.
"Wow, that was a lot of fun, Raito," Ryuuk commented as he sank down on the bed.
"Yeah, fun for you."
"So, why'd you give yourself an orgasm too?"
Raito rolled his eyes. "If I was the only one without one, I'd be found out. It's not like the Death Note so I didn't see any problem with it."
"… How was it?"
"…" Raito turned around with a glare. "What do you mean how was it? It was… it was fine, I didn't hemorrhage or anything so I'd say it was a successful orgasm - what the fuck am I saying?"
"Well, because…" Ryuuk looked down to the bed sheet and picked at a loose thread with his nail. "Because…"
"What? What's wrong?"
"… I want to know what it feels like, too."
"What about it?"
"I want one."
"Aw, don't look at me like that!"
"How else CAN I look at you?" Raito asked, voice thin and shrill. He was beginning to sweat. "I-I mean, that's insane-"
"You gave one to L."
"Yes, but I-"
"And you hate him."
"I know but-"
"Just once?" Ryuuk asked, giving Raito his version of Sayu's puppy eyes. They weren't all that effective but Raito did understand the want to experience what everyone else was… and he supposed it wasn't too fair to leave Ryuuk out of the picture…
Raito cleared his voice and swiveled around in the chair. He raised his fingers and Ryuuk bounced around excitedly. "O-Orgasm," Raito grumbled.
Ryuuk looked at Raito expectantly for a second and then Ryuuk's eyes widened and he fell on his side without a sound and lay there, eyes open, unmoving.
Raito blinked. "… Ryuuk?"
"Oh God, Ryuuk?" Raito scrambled up from his seat to examine his shinigami. Maybe shinigami weren't supposed to have orgasms, maybe it was a secret way to kill them, maybe -
"EEEEEEEEEEEEaaaaaaaAAaaaaaAKKKKK!" Ryuuk howled and flipped over on the other side, scaring the living daylights out of Raito. Ryuuk went into tremulous convulsions all over the bed, causing it to bounce and shake against the headboard and finally against the wall, causing banging sounds.
Raito began to panic. "Shh! Shh! Stop that, Ryuuk, my mom-"
"Oh God, Ryuuk," Raito wept into his hands.
This went on for another ten minutes and Raito was in the middle of tearing off a sleeve of his shirt to gag Ryuuk if only because he couldn't stand the screaming when Ryuuk stopped his movements.
Raito looked up from his torn sleeve. "Ryuuk? Is it over?"
Slowly, Ryuuk turned his head to the side and expelled a remarkable quantity of thick, white fluid on Raito's bed from his mouth.
Raito was all eyes.
Ryuuk sat up then, wiping the substance off of his mouth with the back of his hand. "WOW. That was amazing! It was like-"
"My sheets," Raito wailed. "Get off, get off, I have to save them-"
"Raito, what was that banging?" came a voice from the door. And as mothers are known for, Raito's mom came barging in. She looked around the room and blushed furiously at the white fluid on his bed. "O-Oh, dear, you're busy, I'll be back later."
The door shut.
Raito fumed. "Aw, come ON!"
About an hour later, Raito had changed his bedding and was in a slightly better mood.
"You sure are feminine, Raito," Ryuuk observed.
"I like my things and I'm not happy when they get ejaculated all over." Raito looked up with a deadly glare in his eyes. "Ryuuk."
"Aw, I apologized!"
"Yeah, yeah." Raito stood back from the freshly made bed and sighed, looking about the room. "Well, I guess we should-"
The cell phone on the computer table buzzed. Raito sighed, knowing who it was and went to answer it. "Hello, Misa."
"Raito! Should I come over now? Are we going out to fight crime again tonight?"
"Hmm, no, actually I'm feeling a bit under the weather. I won't be going out tonight."
"AW! Poor baby! I'll be right over with some hot soup-"
Raito hung up and looked over at Ryuuk. "Come on, let's leave before she gets here."
"Where'd your hat go?"
"I don't feel like wearing it all the time, Ryuuk."
"Ryuuk, I've devised an ingenious plan to get us around town quicker. If we spread out the attacks, it'll be harder for L to trace it back to me, don't you think?"
"You can fly, can't you?"
"Then let's travel that way."
Ryuuk blinked down at Raito in the blinding beam of the streetlight. "Are you serious?"
Raito frowned. "Yes. You owe me, I gave you an orgasm!"
"Okay, okay. It's just… it's not a request I hear often." Ryuuk sighed and unfurled his big black wings. He turned around and crouched down so that Raito could climb on his back. He felt Raito shimmy up and finally sit in a semi-comfortable position. There wasn't even a second before Ryuuk jumped up and launched himself into the nighttime sky.
Raito shielded himself from the wind at first and squinted until they got at a high enough altitude where it wasn't so bad. Raito slowly lowered his arm and looked down at the city below.
"This is great, Ryuuk, now we can really work to our advantage."
"Yeah, I guess - Hey, look! That guy's harassing that girl down there!"
Raito perked up. "Where, where?"
"… Oh! Circle in, Ryuuk, so I can get a clear shot!"
"Okay, okay. This time you be the horrible molester and I'll be the helpless farmer's wife."
The young man looked over at his girlfriend with skeptical eyes as they walked home. "I dunno, these sex games of yours are kind of weird… why can't you just be happy with us as who we are?"
"Don't psychoanalyze me, Thomas. Just get to molesting."
"… Baby, on the street?"
He sighed and turned to her, beginning to grab her and grope and his girlfriend yelled and failed around wildly. Suddenly, something swooped overhead like a large bird and the trees above them shook. The young man then fell to his knees, gasping and moaning and a noticeable wet spot appeared on his jeans.
"Aw," she complained, "you came too soon!"
"Raito, do you really think it's a good idea to give rapists orgasms? Won't that just encourage them?"
"… Ryuuk, leave the thinking to me."
"Okay. But, um, Raito?"
"You know that when we're flying like this, people can only see you hovering in mid-air, right?"
"… Aw, shit."
"For a genius, you sure miss a lot."
"Shut up. Get us higher, people down there might recognize me!"
"Betcha you wish you had that hat now, huh?"
"God, shut up."
Ryuuk obeyed and lifted them higher into the air. It was a mite bit colder up there but at least no one below could see them. Raito relaxed a little bit, only until a plane came towards them and he began to freak out.
"Ryuuk! Ryuuk, dip lower!"
"Okay, don't pull on my hair!"
"This is Flight 216 to control. There seems to be a flying Abercrombie and Fitch shopper over the Kento area. What should we do?"
"Ignore him. You know how kids are these days."
Eventually, Raito's plan of flying over the city came to an end when he didn't want to risk sticking out so much anymore. He and Ryuuk continued their night on foot as per usual and the next morning, Raito was beyond tired. He figured staying up all night writing in a notebook was one thing and causing mayhem all over the city was quite another. Still, it was worth it if it would build a better world. He went to the Task Force once again, with Ryuuk following as per usual.
He opened the door with a, "Hello, everyone," but it was barely heard over Aizawa's yelling.
"Matsuda, how could you say such a thing?" he shouted at the younger detective.
Matsuda cringed back. "Uh, well, I mean it's not like he's killing anyone… he's spreading joy…"
"What the hell is joyful about forced orgasms?"
"Calm down, Aizawa," the Chief said, placing a strong hand on Aizawa's shoulder. "You know how Matsuda is."
Matsuda sweatdropped. "Uh, what's that mean…?"
Raito walked in further. "Hello… what's going on?"
"Oh, Raito," Matsuda said, looking over Aizawa's shoulder.
"There's been a break in the case," the Chief informed Raito.
"Yes," said L, sitting over in front of the television. Raito looked up and watched as Sarah Kimimoto walked up to a person across the street on the television screen.
"-tell us just what happened here, sir?"
The young man nodded shakily. "Yeah, sure… well, me and my girlfriend were walking here last night… all of a sudden… something like a human flew right overhead and a second after that I… well, you know, I came."
"Please, sir, children are watching."
"… Uh, right. Sorry. Well, I 'released' then. Anyway, now I'm convinced, it's NOT Kira doing these things. Kira can't FLY. So it's for sure now, Batman has returned."
Sarah nodded seriously and turned back to the camera. "There you have it, folks. Batman has returned and is now bent on giving orgasms to civilians. For what reason, we know not and it's really not our place to question him. Back to you, Bob."
Raito's eyes were as wide as saucers.
Ryuuk was laughing behind him raucously. "You're Batman! I told you people could see you last night, Raito."
"Quite interesting, how people react," L said calmly.
"Aw man, this is amazing! Batman!" Matsuda smiled excitedly next to Raito. He turned to the brunet then. "What do you think Raito? Isn't Batman the coolest?"
Raito blushed furiously. "There is no Batman!"
"Oh really?" Ryuuk asked.
"But it's been on the news all day, everyone had seen someone flying in the sky last night where the attacks took place," Matsuda explained.
Aizawa sighed, "It could have been a bird…"
"Who mistakes a bird for Batman?" the Chief wondered aloud.
"Average people," L mumbled. He looked up, his big eyes scanning Raito. "So, Raito, if it wasn't Batman, who was it? Does Kira fly?"
"W-Why ask me, I don't know. If he can kill without being at the scene of the crime, why can't he fly too?"
"I was under the impression that Kira was rather intelligent. If he allows all of downtown to observe him flying through the air like a happy butterfly, he is less intelligent than Matsuda."
Ryuuk hissed excitedly, "BURN!"
Raito's face flushed with anger.
Matsuda continued to smile.
"What's wrong, Raito?" L asked, hiding his smirk behind his thumb. "You seem upset."
"I'm not upset," he said through gritted teeth.
"Did I insult you in someway? Is Batman a childhood hero of yours?"
The Chief nodded and said wistfully, "I remember your Batman pampers, Raito. You wore them until you were five, right?"
Aizawa and Mogi snickered to themselves and L chomped on a cookie. Just as Raito was trying to find something to say, the television screen once again caught their eye. Raito stopped and said, "Turn up the volume!"
L blinked and did as was requested.
There was a young girl standing on the street corner in front of a large crowd that had gathered there. Sarah Kimimoto pushed the microphone in front of the girl's face and asked her what she made out of the recent attacks of Batman.
"Well, I believe that they are not attacks. I think they are Batman's way of relieving our pain after the Kira incidents. Batman is a hero, a savior! We should worship him! All hail BATMAN!"
Everyone joined in then, all chanting.
"BATMAN! BATMAN! BATMAN!"
The girl screamed shrilly, "Down with KIRA!"
Sarah Kimimoto gasped as the crowd became unruly, harassing the cameramen and sticking their mugs in the camera to get their message across. The camera that managed to get away followed Sarah as she ran for her life, bravely shouting out her report, "I-It's pandemonium here in Kento! THE ERA OF BATMAN HAS COME!"
The screen went to blue and a loud beeping sound took place.
Aizawa raised an eyebrow. "These people are crazy."
Raito hid the utter horror he was feeling bubbling up in his throat. All of his hard work just to get this far, to have Kira be accepted by even a percentage of the population… and now Batman was going to take it away from him?
L was watching as Raito tried to mask his emotions. "Now, Raito, won't you confess? You're Bat - I mean, Kira."
Raito growled under his breath and then shouted, "I am not Kira and I don't give random people ORGASMS because giving people ORGASMS is as sick and disgusting as public ORGASMS in general! If you want to blame me for ORGASMS across town go ahead but I did not give you an ORGASM!"
All that time, Raito had been wiggling his fingers in his pockets but unintentionally missed everyone except L and himself.
They both groaned and fell to the floor once again, L tipping over in his chair and falling on top of the young man. L gasped and arched his back into Raito beneath him and Raito groaned at the friction of their groins rubbing together separated by rough fabric. L opened his eyes briefly to see the younger man writhing under him and, needing something to hold onto in this fit of passion, grasped a handful of Raito's amber locks in his fist and pulled while Raito continued to undulate his hips to a pace L had set.
Ryuuk, after staring for a while, broke out into a silent chorus of "Sexual Healing."
Aizawa and Mogi politely turned away and Matsuda's nose bled rather freely. The Chief wondered aloud, "Why is he always doing things like that?"
Aizawa fought the maddening urge to shout the obvious at his superior but held back.
When the orgasms ended, the men were panting and sighing on top of each other. As soon as Raito regained coherence, he hurriedly kicked L off of himself and scrambled to his feet.
L stood up slowly and dusted himself off. "You need not hide your feelings, Raito."
"F-Feelings?" he shouted defensively.
"… I mean about the case."
"… Oh. Well I don't have any feelings about that either! I don't care about Batman!" And with that, Raito turned on his heel and stormed out of the room, Ryuuk floating hastily behind him.
"What's wrong, Raito?" Ryuuk asked as they hit the street.
"Nothing! Nothing's wrong!" Raito shouted like the emotional teenager he was and people he past on the sidewalk looked at him strangely. "This whole thing has gone too far! I can't let my persona as the orgasm-giving Batman out shadow all I've worked for to gain Kira's acceptance to the world! This has to end."
"I'm finding that guy, Bon Bon, and telling him to take the power back."
"What's the 'oh' for?"
"Well, you know…"
"No, I don't. Just spit it out, I'm very upset right now."
"You should get a t-shirt that says that."
"Okay! Well, uh, I was wondering if you could give me-"
Eventually, Raito and Ryuuk were back in front of the strip mall that they had met Bon Bon at a few days prior. People lined both sidewalks and it was hard to see but, after walking a little further, they saw the familiar sign up in front of that cardboard box. Raito went running up to it and found its owner standing there as if he never moved.
"Bon Bon," he said, glaring. "I need-"
"Oh! It's you! Hey there, Batman," he said, grinning a little, "how's life treating you?"
Raito flushed. "I'm not Batman, shut up before someone hears you. Listen… I need you to take this power away from me right this moment."
Bon Bon looked shocked. "What? But why?"
"WHY? It's ruined my reputation! I can't be taken seriously if the whole world thinks I'm a two-dollar whore with superpowers! Take it back!"
Raito growled and shoved his hand down into his pocket. "Look, I'll pay you!"
Bon Bon blinked as Raito shoved a ten dollar bill at him and then looked at the magician without an ounce of patience. Bon Bon sighed and shrugged his shoulders sadly. Why did this always happen? He shook it off and grabbed Raito's hands in his. "Back and forth, from hand to hand, return this awesomeness to me again."
There was a blue glow…
And then nothing.
Raito blinked at his hands and then turned his hands up to Ryuuk and shouted, "Orgasm!" for good measure.
Ryuuk blinked and then fell to the floor, motionless.
Raito gasped. "YOU TWO BIT CLOWN, I STILL HAVE IT!" He shook Bon Bon by the collar and began to foam at the mouth.
Ryuuk lifted his head and winked. "Gotcha."
Bon Bon wet himself.
That night, Raito and Ryuuk were lounging in the teen's room, watching the news for updates on the Batman Case.
"Ahem. My name is Mikami Teru and I believe that the citizens of the world are being too hasty in thinking that the culprit behind the orgasms is Batman. How do we know this is not Kira? Devine justice goes both ways…"
Raito smiled and motioned to Ryuuk. "I like this guy."
"… and further more - h-hey-"
Matsuda pushed him out of the way of the camera and lifted a giant foam finger above his head with 'Batman' spray painted over the word 'Titans.'
"BATMAN FOREVER," he cheered.
"…" Raito pulled out the Death Note. "Okay, that's it."
A/N: Thank you everyone who reviewed. XD Hopefully, this was entertaining. Keep watching my page for new things and, also, go to my page and vote on the poll, all right? Thanks again!
See you next time.