Hey all! Some of you may know me from my previous FMA stories(An Incurable Pain, What's a Few Years?, Lose It All)...but to those of you who don't, you can call me Aku-chan, m'kay? This is a little different from my other stuff...mostly because it's not a RoyxEd, but an EnvyxEd! GASP. RoyxEd will always be my fav but I'm a very open person and I enjoy trying new things. Envy is also very smexy. XD There is a little RoyxEd in here(can't help myself) but it all makes sense, trust me. Give it a read and review to tell me what you guys think, okay? (Yes, I know other FMA stories are waiting. Don't remind me. XD)

Dedicated to and inspired(as well as pre-screened) by my sis on here: EndLyssly

Every Time We Lie Awake

Chapter One

There were few things that could truly get a murderous reaction out of Envy…

"'That person' requests that we stay put and keep an eye out for now, making no moves against Edward Elric."

And this was one of them.

He twitched at the name of his worst enemy. The boy wasn't a threat, no, not at all, but merely a nuisance-a little buzzing fly that he was not allowed to squash. "Again? Aren't you tired of sitting around, Lust?"

She crossed her arms and stared down at the East City military courtyard from their place on the roof, in the shadows. "We cannot go against 'that person'."

Envy narrowed his eyes. "Oh yeah? 'That person', 'that person'-let's just kill 'that person'! Then we won't have to sit around this dump!"

She gave a bored look in his direction as if to say 'go ahead and try'.

Gluttony drooled as soldiers began leaving for the day. "Hungry, hungry…"

"All I want to do is rip that Full Metal Shrimp apart, so what's the hold up?!"

"Shut up. Someone will hear you."

"So? What're they gonna do about it? Shoot me?"

"Envy…" She warned.

He snickered. "Bite me. I'm out of here." He turned back and jumped to an opposite roof, and he was going along quite nicely, until his sensitive ears caught a familiar voice.

"How long does that stupid Colonel think he can keep us here?!"


"I mean it, Al! I understand that we need to be cautious because Scar is back in this area and I know we have to avoid another conflict with him if possible-I think I got that the last time he broke us into a million pieces! But we're on a mission."

Al would have frowned if he could. "Nii-san…the Colonel's just looking out for us…"

The blonde sighed. "Yeah, yeah, I know. Don't remind me. I'm tired of hanging around this place." He paused before smirking mischievously. "I give it one more week before we make our escape."


"Nope! Too bad, Al! I've made up my mind!" He started running away, closely followed by his younger brother, who really didn't want them to get into anymore trouble.

Envy frowned and mimicked Ed's voice perfectly. "'I'm tired of hanging around this place', huh?" Instantly back to himself without any effort, his scowl deepened. "How nice for you that you can leave whenever you want! I'm going to kill you one day, so enjoy it while it lasts." Suddenly, something came over him and he smirked, which gave way to malicious laughter. "You're bored, aren't you, Chibi-san? …Cause so am I."

Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes casually walked back into East Headquarters. The young man at the front counter saluted. "Sir! Did you forget something? Would you like me to have it brought here for you?"

Hughes briefly wondered how well this boy knew him. "Mm…nope! I'll take care of it myself." He smacked the soldier's shoulder good-naturedly. "Doing things yourself is the key to success! Remember that." And with those simple words, he continued on his way. Yes, certainly, the only way to get the important things done was to do them yourself, and he was sure he knew it better than anybody. After walking around aimlessly for a good while, he heard exactly the sound he was looking for: clanking metal.

Alphonse and Edward were taking their time getting to the building which housed the dorms that they were forced to stay in, even though most people, or at least those permanently posted there, had their own homes. They stopped as soon as they saw him and Al waved. "Lieutenant Colonel Hughes! Why are you still here?"

Ed blinked. "Yeah, I thought everyone went home for the day."

Hughes put on a pouty face. "I got called right back!" Envy hated being so cheerful. It just proved that the human he was at the moment was a happier person than he was…and he detested everyone who had something he didn't have. He was envious, after all. But he hated none so much as Edward Elric, who was practically his step brother in a twisted sense, and had everything. All the things that Envy could just barely recall ever wanting, back when he-rather, the person he was supposed to be-was human. How he hated dwelling on the past. Lust would get that far away look that made it obvious that she, too, could recall better days, even if they weren't really hers. He hated being able to remember. It made him just that much more resentful of those around him-every human he saw had something he didn't have: something as simple as being human, which they all easily took for granted. And it drove him crazy. Despite the Elric brother's problems, they had a lot going for them: they were free and they were alive. Envy had decided after first meeting them that being a suit of armor might even be better than being a monster. But that was his little secret.

The blond stared up at him. "Why, did something happen?"

"You could say that…" He had seen the detective leave for the day, thereby deciding that it would be safe to become him with little or no chance of blowing his cover and ruining his fun. If he ran into Roy Mustang, the man who knew Maes Hughes better than anyone, it might be a different story. But he was an expert, and he'd cross that bridge when he came to it-if he came to it. He briefly realized that he was rather carefree for someone who was being held down by so much, and figured it was better that way. He leaned close suddenly to whisper, bringing his hand up to his mouth as if someone would hear them. "Edward…there's a rumor floating around that you plan to run away."

"W-What?!" How could that have gotten around so quickly? Who heard us?!

"Now Mustang has all kinds of men watching you…including me! But don't let any of them know that I told you! Say, if you need help passing the time, I have plenty of pictures of Elysia-chan to keep you company!"

The boy sweat dropped, to Envy's amusement. "Uh…no thanks."

"Your loss!" He turned away and grinned menacingly before walking off, waving carelessly to them. Now you'll think twice about trying to get away, pipsqueak! After all, everybody knew that a slow revenge was the sweetest.

The brothers waved until the man had turned the corner out of sight. That's when Ed jumped all over the giant suit of armor. "You hear that?! We're being watched now! So, tell me Alphonse, how did that happen?"

The helmet blinked innocently. "Nii-san, are you trying to accuse me?!"

"That's exactly what I'm-"

"But I was with you the whole time!" He pointed out.

"…" Ed coughed slightly and leaned his back against the nearest wall. "I guess somebody must have heard…leave it to that rotten Colonel to send people after us! Shouldn't they be busy kissing his feet or something? I'm gonna go tell him exactly where he can stick his loyal followers!"

"Wait!" No sooner had the blond had started to move that he found he couldn't go anywhere.

"Let me go! I'm warning you, Al!" He swung his arms around wildly, trying to get a hold of the metal vice clamped onto his jacket.

"Lieutenant Colonel Hughes was nice enough to tell us and now you're going to rat him out, nii-san?"

"I…" Ed calmed instantly at the suggestion. "Of course not! It's not like I have to tell the Colonel how I found out…"

Oh, how Al itched to be able to stare at his big brother incredulously again. He really missed being able to show emotion. "You really think Colonel Mustang is that stupid?"

The short alchemist reacted instantly. "Er, well…it was a joke, Al! A joke!" He made a show of laughing fakely before slumping with a sigh. "Just give me that week, Al. I'll figure out a way to get out of here."

"I don't think it's a good idea, nii-san. You're going to get in trouble again."

"Don't question me! We're escaping, damn it!"

Al gave up easily. I never get through to him, do I?

For the next couple days, Ed amusingly suspected everyone around him while Envy tried to decide on his next trick, fairly certain now that the Elric brothers would make no move to get away. They had avoided Mustang like the plague, and the homunculus found this lack of conflict extremely boring. So he had taken the liberty of writing the stiff man a note and leaving it on his desk while he was away at lunch-probably on a date. It had been a very simple statement:

Colonel, we need to talk.


He couldn't say for sure that that's how the blond would have written it, but he'd take his chances. Anything for amusement. Living for hundreds of years was really starting to get to him, he noted. Humanity, though evolving, had never truly changed…and it was really boring. Right on cue, roughly ten minutes after the end of Roy's lunch, Hawkeye appeared and summoned the older of the brothers to Mustang's office. Envy laughed gleefully as his wild purple eyes picked up on the panic in the blond's movements. I can practically see the sweat on your forehead, Chibi-san! He skipped off to hang around outside of the office windows, disguising himself as a small child in case anyone happened to catch him at it. For the moment, he sat under the window and listened.

Ed was instantly stiff the second Riza had opened the door that would lead to his doom. Mustang sat there, looking smug as usual, and it only deepened the blond's frown. What does he want? Is he going to ask why we were planning to run away? But he should know that already…

Roy smirked, coincidently wondering why the small alchemist had called for their meeting. He had noticed the red coat disappearing around corners where ever he went, so he could only assume the blond was avoiding him. To what point and purpose, he didn't know, but figured it had something to do with the note he found on his desk upon his return. "You're looking well, Full Metal. Have a seat."

"Ah, cut the crap already!" Ed burst out but plopped onto the small couch anyway, crossing his arms. "Let's hurry up and get this over with."

Roy's smirk melted into a frown immediately, surprised and disappointed. "Alright, then I'll be frank. What is it you want?"

Ed stared stupidly. "…what?"

The raven haired man narrowed his eyes impatiently. "I'm asking you what the purpose of this meeting is. I trust that you can gather up the courage to speak your mind after going through the trouble of asking for an audience."

"Asking for a-what are you talking about? It was you who called me here!"

Mustang was annoyed. "Very funny, Full Metal. I'm a busy man-hurry up and state your business."

The blond jumped up. "And I'm telling you, I didn't-" A note was shoved in his face. As to when the taller had gotten up, he had no idea.

"Is this your writing?" If it isn't, there's going to be hell to pay.

He peeled the paper off his face and blinked down at it. "Well, yeah, but-"

Mustang couldn't prevent the twitch of aggravation from occurring at his eye. "And you're still going to try and tell me-"

"I didn't write this!" He threw the paper back at the other alchemist, but it fluttered to the floor long before it could reach him.

Envy chuckled happily from outside. Oh, how fantastic it was! They were fighting predictably, and if he was lucky enough, they'd even try to bash each other's heads in.

"Alright, I'll humor you. Let's say that someone else did it. If that's the case, why have you been avoiding me?"

Ed gave a slight nervous smile. "What are you talking about? I haven't-"

"Shut up!" Roy took a deep breath and sighed, regaining his composure. He rubbed his temple as if getting a headache. "If you honestly insist that you have absolutely no business with me, then get out of here. I have better things to do." He turned his back on Ed, preferring to stare out the window. His voice softened as the irritation began to seep out of him. "I…can't stand the sight of you anymore."

The blond frowned. "…what's that supposed to mean?"

"Do you have something to say, or don't you? Because if not, I think it would be time for you to leave."

It annoyed him that the Colonel wouldn't look him in the eyes right then. For some reason, that he certainly couldn't explain, it made him want to do something that would get his superior to look his way again. "We're avoiding you because you're treating us like babies, having all your little groupies keep an eye on us!"

He tried really hard to ignore the obvious malice in the blond's voice and the use of 'groupies' as opposed to friends, coworkers, or even subordinates. "And why would I do that?"

Don't play dumb! "Because we want to leave! What, did you have someone spying on us already to catch that little rumor?"

He could have whipped around, could have yelled, definitely wanted to hit the ignorant boy in the face, but he was all too confused. Who wrote the note? Was Edward lying? What the hell was he talking about? Mustang turned to face him slowly. "I'd heard no such rumor, but thank you for the information. I'll be sure to place guards at all major exit points throughout the perimeter."

"Save your bullshit for someone who will believe it! Hughes already told us exactly what you did." I hadn't planned to mention him, but…what the heck is going on here?

"Lieutenant Colonel Hughes?" Why would he say something like that? Surely not just to get a reaction out of them…it doesn't seem like something he'd do. I'll have to inquire…

"Who else?!"

"And he told you…what, exactly?"

Ed crossed his arms again. "I'm not repeating myself!"

Roy approached him confidently. "There must be some misunderstanding on your part, Full Metal."

"I'll give you a misunderstanding-"

"There's no one watching you."

He stared up at the raven haired alchemist suspiciously. "What? Yes there is-"

"If there is, it's all in your head. I assure you, Full Metal, I've heard no rumors concerning you or your brother, nor have I sent anyone to spy on you. Even if I had, do you really think I'd waste the time or manpower just watching you? You're free to escape if you like, but I can guarantee that I'll recapture you, and you'll receive the full consequences of those actions."

Ed flipped out and grabbed the Colonel's uniform with his automail hand, forcing the older man to stoop down to his level. "Look, I don't know what the hell you're up to, but…" He lost steam quickly when Roy unexpectedly gave him one his rare smiles, as he suddenly found the whole situation more amusing than disturbing. "…I'm really confused…"

"I think I am, too…" And then he took the opportunity to kiss the short alchemist. It was quick, the warmth of his lips vanishing as soon as it had gotten there. It exposed everything, yet promised nothing. He didn't know why he had done it, Edward certainly didn't know why he had done it, and neither of them cared. It was the most bizarre situation they had ever been in. The blond only stared at him a moment more before kissing him again. This time…it lasted.

Envy could only wonder what was happening, and decided to take his chances on looking in the window. His eyes suddenly widened in disbelief and his disguise disappeared of its own accord. What… It didn't make any sense. It was impossible. That wasn't what he had intended to do. And suddenly, Edward Elric had something else that Envy had never had, and he had been the one to give it to him. It snapped something inside of him, and while he hated the chibi alchemist more than anyone in the world, at that moment, wrapped in Mustang's arms, his eyes closed in pleasure, so openly vulnerable, he was… …beautiful. Envy was ready to pull his hair out. Oh, what the fuck am I thinking?! I better hurry up and kill him, cause I'm going insane! He took off, never looking back, towards the rooftops to assess this new and very twisted situation.

When they had parted to catch their breath, reality hit Ed like a ton of bricks. What am I…I…He ripped himself from Roy's grasp and tore out of the room, barely able to ignore the voice that called him back.

In no time, the boy was out of sight and Mustang gave up with a sigh before sitting back down at his desk. What happens now…? He picked up the receiver from the phone on his desk and began to dial.

A dazed homunculus, who shouldn't have been able to feel anything except envy, sat alone and confused on the edge of the roof. One leg was pulled up to his chest and the other dangled off carelessly.

"Envy. Where have you been?" Lust crossed her arms. "We have word from 'that person'…preparations for our next move are almost complete. It will be three days at the most."

"What wonderful news…" he droned sarcastically. "Am I supposed to thank you for it?"

Her frown was evident in her voice. "What's your problem now, Envy? I thought you wanted to leave this place."

"Not until I kill him."

"You know you can't. 'That person' would kill you."

He smirked. "Ha, as if that'd matter once Full Metal Bean is dead."

"What good is revenge if you're not around to enjoy it?" Lust quirked a brow. "Isn't that what humans would call an 'unhealthy obsession'?"

"Hmm, what was it I told you earlier?" He paused, as if in thought. "Oh yeah: bite me."

She shrugged. "I could care less about this kid…or you, for that matter. Do as you like." Lust had only made it a few steps before his mocking voice stopped her.

"Aw, we're not 'friends'?"

She glared at his back. "We have no friends."

"Mm." He hummed in agreement. "What a shame."

"…don't you want him to create the Philosopher's Stone, so we can be human?"

"No." Envy lied. "Why would I want something stupid like that? What good is a body that's not indestructible? Who wants these human 'feelings' that are hurt so easily? Human…? What bullshit." He leaned forward to look down into the darkness as the dear Colonel was leaving for the night, seemingly in a hurry, and he felt a sharp pain in his chest. It was something he shouldn't have felt-something he shouldn't have been able to feel. "You'll never become who you were supposed to be, so what's the point?"

"I would be…someone. That hurt you speak of…I'd almost like to know…what it feels like."

"…you sound like you already know."

She stared at the ground sadly. "'Homunculi have no soul'. That's what they say. Yet…could you fake your emotions so easily as other people if you didn't already know what they felt like? Perhaps we don't have the soul we were meant to have…but an artificially created one, just as our bodies were made."

Envy narrowed his eyes. "Don't be stupid…"

"Is it so stupid? I am not human…but I know that my sadness is real. What does that mean?"

"It means you're thinking too much." He easily waved it off. "Even if we can feel, there's a reason we're not supposed to. Why don't you think about that." Before she could say more, Edward and Alphonse Elric flew through the very same doors the Colonel had left through moments before, carrying a single bag and running at full speed. Envy suddenly became inexplicably angry. "So you decided to escape after all." There was something decidedly sinister about his scowl as he jumped from the roof, becoming Roy Mustang in an instant. "Stop it right there, Full Metal!"

Earlier, Colonel Mustang had called his friend Maes and interrogated him impatiently. "So you really didn't come back into the building."

"Would you stop asking me if I said I did?"

He tried to stay calm. "I'll stop asking when this makes sense! He swears he saw you, you swear you went home!"

There was a short pause before the voice came through the phone again. "…doesn't that mean someone's lying?"

"…yes…" Who would lie to me? I didn't think…either of them…

"And I swear on our friendship, it's not me."


"Ah, kids are impulsive and scared of getting caught, right? Speaking of kids, my Elysia-chan is getting more beautiful by the minute! She-"

The raven haired man casually hung up the phone, well used to the routine. Who… After a while, he mindlessly finished his paperwork and wandered through the halls, heading for the exit. A young soldier saluted him on his way out and he stopped suddenly. "…you."


"Are you here every evening?"

The boy tried to stand up as straight as possible. "Yes, sir!"

This is crazy. I'm crazy. "A few nights ago, after everyone left at five, did Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes return?"

He seemed to think on it a moment. "Um…yes, sir! The Lieutenant Colonel said he had forgotten something."

"Did he say what it was?"

"No, sir."

No? Well, of course not. Not if it was something like that. But then

"And I swear on our friendship, it's not me."

"Did he say anything else?"

"Uh…gee, I don't know Colonel, sir…"

"Try to remember. It's an important matter of military security." …sort of.

The boy sweat dropped, worried now. "Well…" He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to picture that evening. "…oh! I had asked if he wanted me to get someone to fetch what he had forgotten…and he told me that the key to success is doing things for yourself. He told me to remember that." He laughed a little, nervously.

But that's… "Is that all?"

"Yes, sir."

"…thank you." He proceeded out the front doors, quickening his pace. That's not something Maes would say at all.

"If you want to be Fuhrer, you'll need someone loyal working under you, to push you to the top."

He had made it clear…that there's no way to reach your goals alone. Only one thing was for certain: if someone, who was apparently interested in Edward Elric, had infiltrated the military, whatever his motives, he wasn't out to kill the boy…or he would have done so already.

At the same time, Ed had packed up his things, more than ready to leave after his dubious encounter with his commanding officer.


"The Colonel should have left by now, Al. It's the perfect time."

"But why so suddenly…?" He may not have been able to show emotion, but the worry was there, in his voice. "Did something happen when you went to Colonel Mustang's office…?"

The blond blushed immediately and tried to hide it from his brother. "D-Don't be stupid! I just can't stand it anymore. If we have to stay somewhere, let's go to Central or something, okay? We'll be safe there…safe from annoyance!"

"But what about Scar?" He followed Ed out of their dorm room.

"There are plenty of talented State Alchemists in Central. It's not like he's the only one that can 'protect' us, Al. If it was him versus Scar in the rain, he'd be the one to blow up!" Although meant to be a joke, just the thought of it made him feel sick to his stomach. "Let's…hurry up and go, okay?!" With that he took off at a run, his brother right behind him, yelling for him to wait.

Edward and Alphonse Elric flew through the very same doors the Colonel had left through moments before, carrying a single bag and running at full speed.

"Stop it right there, Full Metal!"

Ed came to a screeching halt and the suit of armor that was his little brother promptly smashed into him. They lie in a heap on the ground for a good 30 seconds before the blond could manage to react. Damn, I thought for sure he could have left already! "Al, get off me! You're ruining our escape!"

"Me?! You're the one who stopped, Nii-san!" But he got off him all the same.

"This is your final warning." The fake Roy extended a gloved hand as if he could really do alchemy. "You can come back now or be carried in on a stretcher. Your choice."

Ed frowned. Is he really that mad…? But before he could come up with the proper response, there was an explosion several feet away by the front gates. Lo and behold, the whole reason the real Colonel had been worried in the first place calmly strolled in.

"Shit!" Envy cursed…and had it been another situation, it might have been funny to hear the usually calm Colonel utter such words.

Scar spotted the boy easily. "Edward Elric…last time, you were lucky enough to escape, but today, you will meet your end."

The blond's eyes almost popped out of his head. Man, this is the last thing I need today! He whipped around. "What're you waiting for, Colonel? Fry him!"

On the one hand, Envy just wanted to bang his head against a nice, thick concrete wall until he died. None of his plans were turning out right at all, and it was all due to stupid people and elements he couldn't control. On the other hand, he really couldn't keep this façade going for much longer. There was no possible way for him to fake alchemy, but showing himself would only bring more disaster. The man called 'Scar' really irritated him. The Ishivalan seemed to have a fixation on the small alchemist as well, but he'd be damned if anyone was going to kill the brat but him. Seeing no other options, he shot forward, just barely squeezing between the two brothers on his way to his target. Ed called him back pointlessly, but he couldn't hear anything in his rage. Scar reached for him instantly, but if there was one thing that made Envy's fighting incredible, it was his agility. He ducked under and easily tripped the surprised man, who certainly wasn't expecting this from the military man he had briefly met once before-the one who couldn't seem to do anything without alchemy.

The Elric brothers could merely watch, totally stunned. Yet there was something familiar about Mustang's fighting style that nagged them somewhere in the back of their minds.

Envy brought his heel down on Scar's stomach with a loud crunch, and took a step back as the man spat blood, thinking it was pretty much over. But no sooner had he turned half way around had his right arm been grabbed by the fallen man, and with a quick flash of heat and red light, Envy's arm disintegrated in front of his eyes. While he couldn't die, each death and injury were still painful to a point. He tried to keep his concentration on his form so that he wouldn't change back.

Now that he was down on his knees, Scar, who was also unable to get all the way back up, reached for his head. A second later, Envy was tackled from the side and went flying. While he may have been in the form of a taller, bulkier form than himself, he still weighed exactly the same. That was how he kept his agility, no matter what shape he was. It would have been amusing if someone had found him as a small child and tried to pick him up, he had thought, because he would have weighed a ton. Ed had jumped him to get him out of the way, and it ticked him off to know the chibi was only trying to 'save' him because he thought he was someone else. He briefly wondered what it felt like to have someone care about you like that, but quickly dismissed it. He didn't need stupid things like 'friends' and 'love'. 'Care' was a word that, when used in a positive form, didn't exist in his vocabulary. "Colonel, you-"

The blond had landed on top of him, their faces close, and for some reason, he had felt the slight tingling that was present when he changed forms. It made him panic a little and he pushed Ed away roughly. It would only be perhaps another minute before his arm happily regrew itself. And then things would be all too obvious.

Ed could only stare in horror as blood pooled on the ground. "Idiot, why didn't you use alchemy?! You-"

"Save it, Full Metal." Envy got back to his feet and his arm started to burn-the process was beginning.

Scar was struggling to stand as Al ran over to them. "Nii-san! What're we going to do?"

The blond was officially panicking. "How should I know?! We need to get out of here!"

The night watchmen were pouring out at last, hastily shooting at the scarred man who only tried to dodge them for a little while before reluctantly retreating into the darkness. But not before he got one last look at Edward Elric. A glance that said 'We will meet again.'

When Ed had turned to look back at the Colonel, he was gone. "Wha-Al, where did he go?!"


"That idiot! We have to get him to a hospit…al…" His words trailed off as a figure approached them quickly.

"I came back as soon as I heard. Are you two unharmed?" The real Roy Mustang stood before them, clad in a regular white t-shirt and black slacks with a black mid-length trench coat that seemed all too fancy without his regular attire. He extended his hand to the blond, who was the only one on the ground.

Ed could only stare at the right hand that shouldn't have been there. What the hell…?

Mustang frowned. "Is something wrong? Full Metal?"

For a moment, everyone was silent.


"Mm." He agreed to the unspoken statement, standing on his own, not willing to admit that he was afraid to take the offered hand. "It could have been-no, it was…Envy."

"Envy?" The raven haired alchemist echoed, having no clue. "…I think we'd better speak in my office. Go there now."

Ed nodded numbly and walked off with Al in tow who had briefly stopped to grab their bag. Another escape attempt miraculously foiled!

Mustang grabbed the highest ranking officer he could spot and had him immediately call people in, set up a perimeter around the city and around the building, as well as form a Scar search team and call in some builders to assess and repair the damage as soon as possible. It was going to be one hell of a long night, he could tell. Surely, it wouldn't be long before a pajama-clad detective showed up to help them piece together the puzzle.

Back on the rooftop where he had started, Envy hissed as his arm slowly reformed itself while he watched the chaos down below.

Lust had seen the whole thing, but had made no move to stop him. It would have been pointless anyway. She produced a bag of the red stones, which would speed up the process. He ate them without complaint and she frowned. "…you saved them."

"Oh, please." He bit out. "'Saved them'? Saved them for myself, maybe! No one's going to kill that pipsqueak before I do."

"Then why didn't you?"

Envy glared up at her. "Wasn't it you who told me not to? And now you'll complain? Make up your damn mind!"

"So…until you're allowed to kill him, you'll protect him. Is that what you're saying?"

He twitched, easily getting frustrated. He flexed his new arm a few times before ruffling his hair with irritation. "I don't know! If he can't even take care of himself then I guess I'll have to! Now, why don't you do me a favor and go jump off a cliff, hm?"

She smirked slightly. "You're angry that I know what you're doing."

He shot her the best bored look he could muster. "And what am I 'doing'?"

"Acting human."

Envy looked back down at the ridiculous people, running around like chickens with their heads cut off. "As if I'd ever be…like them…" But he knew it wouldn't convince her if he couldn't even convince himself. It was irritating.

"Then, from one pretend human to another, allow me to warn you…" Her claws automatically extended towards him. "…if you try to kill the scarred Ishivalan again, I'll take away your only chance for precious revenge-I will kill Edward Elric."

He narrowed his eyes, not even bothering to look up at her. "…"

"Do we understand each other?"

There was silence for a moment before Envy began laughing psychotically. For some reason, he just couldn't stop. This is all so…fucking ridiculous!