Just Cut It Off
It was nearing the end of November and the Order was once again meeting at headquarters. There had been lots of hustle and bustle about the place, and everyone who needed to be there was there. Reports had been given, and now Dumbledore stood facing the Order in the kitchen.
"So let me get this straight," Moody began. "You've got a horribly evil curse spreading up your arm, and nothing anyone can do is stopping it?"
Dumbledore nodded, pulling up his robe to expose his withered hand and the curse that had progressed halfway up his arm.
"Well that's easy enough to fix," Moody said, pulling out his wand. "Keep your hand steady."
"Wait, what are you going to do?" Poppy asked, her voice sounding ever so slightly panicked.
"He'll be yours in a minute," Moody grinned in the only way he could -- creepily. "Cutakazam."
A wicked flash of hot pink light jetted out of his wand and sliced Dumbledore's arm off right below the elbow.
"All done," Moody announced proudly.
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!" Poppy screeched. Every available wand was pointed straight at Moody.
"Fixed it. Buggeróffiticus." Moody roared, causing every wand pointed at him to fly up and glue itself to the ceiling.
"CONSTANT VIGILANCE!" Tonks yelled, causing several people around her to jump.
"That's right lass," Moody said proudly. "CONSTANT VIGILANCE!"
"Bleee--eeeeding…" Dumbledore gasped weakly, sinking onto his knees.
"Hmm, right, forgot about that," Moody mumbled. "Hotflamingfirepainishness." The wound at the end of Dumbledore's stump sealed itself off in a lovely flare of cauterization and the scent of burnt flesh permeated the kitchen.
"Murk!" Dumbledore gasped before tumbling face first onto the floor, unconscious.
Meanwhile, Poppy was jumping up on her chair and managed to somehow unstick her wand from the ceiling, although it seemed to have acquired a persistent layer of lime green goop. When she saw the headmaster fall over, she raced over to his side, spells spewing from her lips.
A pretty purple cloud hovered over the headmaster, and she did a double take.
"Diagnosisisisis," she said again.
A second purple cloud rewrote the first, with sparkles in it this time.
"I don't believe it," Snape breathed in…well, it sure wasn't awe.
"Blimey." Ron, it seemed, had come down for a midnight snack.
"Too bad it wasn't your head," Sir Nicholas sighed wistfully. No one quite knew why he was there either…or how he was there, for that matter.
"Gasp," came from a lot of the other people before…
"So what does it mean," Sirius asked seriously.
"It's gone," Poppy said.
"Well DUH!" Sirius responded.
"Moody just severed it right in front of us," Tonks added helpfully.
Poor dear, she really needs to take a vacation, Molly realized. I don't want her taking care of my children in that state. She immediately bustled off to prepare a tray of tea a biscuits for the frazzled nurse.
"The curse, you imbeciles, not his arm!" Snape was apparently at the end of his patience.
"Thanks mom," Ron grunted through a mouthful of biscuit, having stolen the tray as she was on her way to Poppy.
"Mmm Ginger," Sirius drooled, reaching out towards Ron.
"Hey now, you're a nice bloke and all, but I'll have you know I'm into girls," Ron sputtered in protest. His grip on the tray loosened and Sirius managed to duck out the door with it before Ron could even think of following.
"Damn, ginger snaps are my faves," Tonks muttered. "Wonder if he'll share…" she wandered out after Sirius, leaving the chaos in the kitchen behind.
Hopefully The End.
A/N: Hmm, I had a lot of fun with that one…did anyone else wonder why Dumbledore didn't just have his arm amputated? Sure would have saved a lot of trouble. Stupid canon.