Title: Unplanned

Author: catharticdeficit

Rating: T

Genre: Humour/Romance/Drama/Angst/Family/Pregnancy Issues Everyone Needs To Know, And Yes, That Includes Males, Too, Because It's All Their Freaking Fault

Pairing: Kyoya x Haruhi

Summary: Haruhi wants a child but not a husband. A friend helps and she finds herself in the right house, the right room, the right bed…and the wrong man.WTF?!

Warning: Lime-ish, but not explicit. Innuendo rears its ugly head here. Tread with caution lest you lose what's left of your innocence.

Isang malaking pasasalamat sa aking pinakamamahal na beta, Kalachuchi, at sa aking mga taga-subaybay sa lahat ng aking kagaguhan na pinapasa bilang mga istorya na walang katuturan. Sana ay ma-enjoy ninyo po ang aking munting kwento.

Thanks as well to my other beta, dark mirth, because my English sucks and she's awesome at it.

To my readers and reviewers, Eyelabshu!


Haruhi Fujioka sighed irritably as she punched the keys in her mobile. She was wasting her precious minutes for lunch doing this but it was her last chance. The Ultimate Plan couldn't commence without this person's cooperation.

She hooked the headset in her ear as she grabbed the folder in front of her. She figured she might as well do something productive.

After the first few rings, somebody picked up the phone on the other side.

"Hello! You have reached the wonderful, wonderful Renge-chan's Host Club! This is owner, proprietor, manager Renge-chan! How may I help you?" the overly-excited voice said, practically making Haruhi's ears bleed as she nearly dropped her pen.

"Renge, it's me, Haruhi."

"Haruhi-chan!" Renge exclaimed and the other woman had to wrench the earpiece away lest she become deaf in a matter of minutes. She disconnected the headset from the mobile and turned it to speaker. Her office was soundproof anyway and what would be said next was of the utmost secrecy.

"Are you sure that you're going to go along with this?" said Renge, much quieter.

Haruhi suppressed a sigh. "Yes, I have waited my whole life for this."

"Why not use another way? Like I—"

"I have considered that but it's too time-consuming and expensive," Haruhi interrupted. "I don't have an abundance of either so this is the best available way."

"But, you know, it might not happen that one time. It might take multiple attempts."

"I've taken extra preparations and this is the prime time to do it. If everything blows, then I'll try option B."

"May I ask again why you're so set on this?" asked Renge, defeat in her voice. She knew that once Haruhi had decided on something, it was difficult to dissuade her on any point. That's what made her so successful.

And so horribly blind.

"You know the reason," Haruhi answered shortly. "There's no need to repeat myself."

Renge sighed again. "Fine. The house is available. He'll be waiting there. I guess this is the part where I wish you good luck, eh?"

Haruhi's chest suddenly felt tight. "Yes, that would be helpful. Thank you for everything, Renge."

"You know that there's nothing in this world that could make me say no to you," replied the other. "I hope you know what you're doing."

"I do."

Haruhi killed the conversation before anything more hurtful could be said. She swivelled her chair to look outside the window behind her desk. The sprawling metropolis that was Tokyo glared back at her—all concrete and glass looking weary and grey against the blinding sun.

Yes, it might not have been the best of ideas, but it was the only option she had.

She faced her desk again and took out a plastic container of tuna pasta.

Her tongue barely registered the taste of her food, she was so wrapped up in her thoughts.

Her time was running short. She had to do this. If she left it too late….

Haruhi shook her head. It wasn't the time to think about that. For now, she had to concentrate on her mission.

She just prayed to God that none of the boys at the now-defunct Host Club would hear of this. If they did, the ramifications would have been too much for her to handle given her current condition. Plus, what quiet she had left in her life would be snuffed out faster than a candle on a windy day.

The original Host Club at Ouran more or less parted ways after high school, though they tried their best to keep in touch. Haruhi couldn't be bothered; she was more focused in her studies as a future lawyer. Tamaki, Kyoya, Honey, Mori, Hikaru, and Kaoru usually had to force their way in to her dormitories at the university and drag her away to even have a few precious minutes with her. But even that seldom happened as they also had a duty to uphold their familial duties.

Adulthood, however, became the new reason for them to invade her life again. They never realized that now Haruhi has secured the profession of her dreams, it would mean that she had to clock up a lot of overtime to even reach the point her mother had achieved before her.

Haruhi knew that they cared--more than what was actually healthy for their relationship, but this was something she could not permit them to interfere in. She didn't know if she could forgive them if it all went wrong because of what they did.

Or if she could forgive herself.

Haruhi shuddered at the thought. No, everything had to go out exactly as planned. Cliché as it sounded, failure was not an option this time. This chance took precedence above everything else that happened in her life--hell, it would become her life if it all went smoothly.

She picked up her phone and gave her secretary careful instructions. Haruhi was scheduled to go to Karuizawa by train at five that afternoon, therefore any meetings scheduled between five to seven the next morning were to be cancelled. When the secretary gave a sharp affirmation, she rifled through her bag, checking if she forgot anything for the fifth time that hour. Yes, she was that nervous.

Haruhi frowned, standing up for a short stretch. This trip didn't really require her having anything—having nothing was actually the game plan.

She checked her watch. She had three more hours before the Plan would commence.

She pulled out a bulging folder from its perch on the overcrowded bookshelf.

Her clients had had a minor disagreement with their landlord and were seeing if they could sue.

Absorbed in her work, Haruhi relaxed, her previous nervousness dissipating.


The train trip to Karuizawa proved to be two things: long and boring.

Haruhi was not used to inactivity for extended periods of time. Since she could remember, she was always doing something, either trying to escape her friends' inanities (which she felt she'd been doing her whole life, though in truth, just a mere half or so) or working for school or the firm. She had left her precious BlackBerry at her office; it was the only device that could connect her to anyone, and it was a rarely used number that no one except her secretary knew. It served only one purpose: to ensure her privacy when it was most needed. It had only been used once, when Haruhi was having a mental and physical breakdown from the sheer amount of her work. Her secretary gave her the slim model, saying that she needed a rest that was away from anything that concerned her work. If she was needed in an emergency, she would be called, but other than that, she shouldn't be bothered—he would make sure of that, he promised.

Haruhi smiled, leaning back in her seat more comfortably. Takeshi was heaven-sent, as far as Haruhi was concerned. He was the tall, dark half-Italian who was the wet dream of every female staff in the firm. Takeshi was the perfect secretary, getting her to meetings on time without her looking as if a cat had dragged her, eaten her, and then spit her back up again, as she was prone to look after sleeping on her desk, using her keyboard as a pillow, saliva drooling down her chin. He was the one who took care of everything for her, including the upkeep of her apartment even if she didn't ask him to. He would have been the best candidate for what she was about to do (as his employer, she was privy to even his medical records, which was more or less spotless except for a minor snowboarding accident in France).

Haruhi chuckled at nothing, eliciting curious looks from the other passengers.

Yes, he would have been the perfect person for this job. Hell, if she had asked, he would have done it without any qualms.

Too bad he was gay, though.

Closing her eyes, Haruhi tried to sleep. She was going to have a long day—or rather, night—ahead of her.


Haruhi stared at the building, then back at the piece of paper in her hands, and finally at the house again.

This can't be right… But this is the right address. It just looked different from before.

It was a modest house, not exactly as grand as befitted the area, but it had a comfortable, homey feel to it. It was in a smaller complex well away from the main thoroughfare of the famous tourist city, and was the ideal summer home for any upper middle class family. Beside it were other houses, just as newly constructed as the one Haruhi was currently gazing at. Some were still incomplete, the lawns piled up with gravel and other construction paraphernalia scattered about.

But this house was special. According to Renge, whose father owned the complex, the house was fully furnished already. It was to act as a model for the people who wanted to take a look around and maybe in the end, be persuaded to buy their own property from the company.

Trapped in her musings, Haruhi didn't notice as the first drops of rain fell, wetting her cheeks.


She ran to the house, digging into her purse for the keys Renge had given her days ago.

The first rumble of thunder came as soon as she closed the door. The house was dark inside and she groped around for the light switch. Finding it, she flipped it on, casting the room in relief.

It looked normal enough: an entertainment system in the corner, soft upholstery, polished surfaces…add a couple of doilies on the couch, two dozen cats, and the smell of cabbages and you have the house of an eighty-year-old spinster.

Haruhi basically ignored the décor, her mind on more important things. She had seen the house before, when Renge had insisted that the original Host Club see the new project that her family was developing. The boys made a mess of themselves, thoroughly enjoying the experience. Needless to say, the house, which had been scheduled to be shown to the general public the next day, was in great need of total refurbishing.

Haruhi was walking down the hallway to the last door on the right, when the lights went out. It was a power surge, as was common to happen during thunderstorms. Haruhi shuddered as she heard the thunder crack again. She had never gotten over her fear of lightning and thunder, though she had kept herself in check. Her phobia had gotten her in so much trouble, namely cowering in fear under a desk while the team was going over a litigation. She had taken the time to go to a psychiatrist, even a quack hypnotist, anything to curb her fear. It wasn't completely conquered as she would have liked, but at least she could—

Another bang, followed by a streak of light across the dark sky, appeared outside the window.

Haruhi yelped, hastening her steps. She fumbled blindly, her fingers lightly touching the walls as she walked so she could find her way. Reaching the last door, Haruhi noticed that the sky was becoming angrier as it delivered more and more bangs and strikes.

Illuminated by the thunder, Haruhi saw a lump on the bed, and far from calming her, it made her panic even more. Before she realized it, tears were forming in her eyes, blurring her vision and sending wet drips down her flushed cheeks.

Why couldn't everything in her life be plain and simple? She resisted the urge to break down and sob her eyes out. Yes, she wanted to do that. It had been a while since she had really done that: cry as much as she could without any qualms over it.

But the Ultimate Plan came first. This was her future, damn it! She had to follow through. She had planned her life as carefully as she would plan a contract.

She quickly undressed, shivering as the cold air hit her sensitive skin. She approached the bed cautiously, lifting the duvet to make sure that there was a person there and she wasn't about to do the nasty with a pillow.

Her eyes were getting used to the darkness, making her see the faint silhouette of a person dozing lightly. He or she was on their side, obscuring their face from Haruhi. But it was fine. It was the way she wanted it. Best to keep it all unknown, she reasoned. Get in, get what she wanted, then get the hell out. It was as simple as that.


Haruhi sighed, climbing on the bed before facing the back of the person beside her.

Tentatively, she let a finger trail down the smooth, exposed back of her 'companion'.

Yup, definitely male.

She took a deep breath and scooted closer, having an internal battle whether to suck it up and do it or to throw her clothes back on and pretend for the rest of her life that she was about to do this.

But a face swam before her eyes, and stiffened her resolve.

She buried her tear-stained face in-between his shoulder blades as a fresh wave of tears threatened to push out of her eyeballs.

She felt the man stir, then look blearily around him, finally focusing his gaze on her.

"Please take me," she sobbed, her emotions as raw as a fresh wound.

She needed release. The Plan could wait.


Kyoya stared around the dark room, his eyes adjusting to the lack of light. Where was he again?

He closed his eyes again, trying to concentrate for a few seconds and let his brain process the information. The greatest weakness of his brain was that it always took a moment to restart when he wakes up. It was his Ultimate Secret, once that he would carry to his grave. Other people might take advantage of it and the repercussions….

Oh, the repercussions!

He liked having his Ootori pride, thank you very much.

He was in a soft bed, under a thick duvet, half-naked, with a pounding headache.

Okay, that narrowed things down.

He racked his brains one more time.

Then the memories came flooding in at a rate of three gigabytes per second.

Earlier that afternoon, there was a mishap with one of the numbers the stock analysts presented him, making him lose quite a large amount in the stock market—around ten million yen. Normally, he wouldn't bat an eyelash at it since it was to be expected in this world: you have losses, and you have gains. But it was one of those days.

The days when all poor souls who even looked him in the eye were promised a slow, painful death that made one think of chains, a mace, and a mix CD of the Weather

Girls, Cher, The Village people, Kylie Minogue, and present Madonna playing on a loop in the background while your mother-in-law nagged your ear off.

It was any heterosexual male's worst nightmare.

As for the punishment for the homosexuals and the females…. Let's not get into that right now or the rating for this story would go to triple x.

Anyway, Kyoya was pissed, and quite rightly so. The morning had found him bombarded with e-mails and calls from his ex-girlfriend, the British heiress bird he had picked up while on holiday in England. He had meant it to be a short affair…that had ended a year ago when he left. But no, she was calling, demanding that they see each other again and all that crap, and that she was flying to Japan to see him.

If there was one thing Kyoya hated in a woman, it was clinginess. And she was proving her clinginess with every passing second.

So, showing his disappointment at his team of analysts by frightening them within an inch of their lives and their bladders, Kyoya still wasn't satisfied but he didn't want to fire anybody. It was a trick he had learned to gain his employees' trust and loyalty. If they mess up, give them the punishment they are due, but never fire them. Always give them a second or a third chance if necessary and you will see the meaning of production. It was almost a fool-proof way to manage about it all. Kyoya had rarely fired anybody before, and only in the direst of circumstances.

What he didn't know was that the reason why so many chose to follow him for the rest of their lives was his sheer animal magnetism. Really, who wouldn't want to see his handsome face every morning as he walked with his earpiece on while he tapped away on a BlackBerry? Some were fortunate enough to earn a smile or a nod from him, eliciting gasps and fainting episodes. Kyoya didn't realize when he read the reports and there was an additional need for doctors and nurses in the employees' infirmaries that it was his fault; he just thought that there was an epidemic going around.

Kyoya, annoyed and irritated beyond compare, wanted to escape, especially when Anne called, saying that she was already in Narita airport and that she expected him to pick her up.

Like hell, Kyoya thought. He thought of possible places he could escape to and came up with none. Anne would be most likely to find him there.

Then he thought of Renge and the new properties her family was building. Yes, there was that model house, all ready for the taking. It wouldn't be a bad idea to stay there a couple of days, doing all his business through the magical world of fibre optics. Yes, it was troublesome but plausible. Hell, if in the end he managed to escape Anne, he'd buy the property himself.

Renge was more than willing to let him use it but she was saying something about his being in the way. He cut her off before she could say anything else, and sped off. His voicemail had already intercepted Anne's whiny call, asking why he still wasn't at the airport to pick her up.

Kyoya had a key to the house—he was the only person in the now-defunct Host Club to have one. Renge didn't trust the others not to trash it mercilessly, but Kyoya had been granted one in the hopes that he could persuade some of his clients to invest in the real estate.

He arrived at the house via his private helicopter. He considered going to his family's vacation home in the area instead but the idea was dismissed. Anne was crafty when it came to locating him. As if she had a Kyoya radar.

The house wasn't bad in itself. After having one of his men go for a short grocery trip and making sure that he bought enough for a few days' stay, Kyoya settled in. It was comfortable to a certain degree. Not exactly a luxury hotel yet his personal safety was the more pressing issue.

He had fallen asleep after a nice hot shower, conking out as soon as his head hit the pillow. He had only managed to catch three hours of sleep the night before and the fatigue was getting to him. In a way, Anne's unwelcome intrusion back into his life was proving to be a blessing in disguise.

Or not.

"What the hell?" was the first thought that came to him when he felt those wet pools in his back. Then he realized that someone else was pressed against him--the source of wetness…and delicious warmth, he couldn't deny that. It was a woman, if the breasts pressing into him were enough indication.

Please take me. Another 'What the fuck?!' is in order.

Full consciousness hit him like a ton of bricks. It must be the twins' doing again. They were always saying that he was too uptight and needed some form of release. It wasn't the first time they had sent a woman to him. God, he didn't know that he could incur that many lawsuits in so short a time. Thankfully, it was all settled, and the twins had paid dearly—lawyers' bills included. They promised that they weren't going to do something so stupid again.

Promises are made to be broken, anyway.

But it wasn't like Kyoya really needed to loosen up at all. The business came first always. He didn't have time to fool around. Being told that he needed a woman to warm him, especially by someone who preferred men on his bed (somewhere, Kaoru shivered unpleasantly in his boyfriend's arms), was just icing on the cake.

This girl was different, though. The first woman they brought to him didn't act like this. Hell, the moment she saw him walk through the door, she told him to strip and hop in the bed. She was halfway through listing the extras (spanking, handcuffs, role-playing, cosplay, S&M, etc.) before he had her thrown out.

This girl was crying, asking to be taken, as if it would… alleviate something in her.

What, he didn't know.

He turned to her, not seeing her face due to the darkness.

"Who are you?" he rasped. Was that his voice?

"No one you need to know," she hiccupped. "Just please, please…."

"Please what?" Her voice sounded strangely familiar but he couldn't place it. Ah, well.

"I need you."

That clinched it. Throwing caution to the wind, and the duvet to the floor, Kyoya crouched over her, trying to catch a glimpse of her face. All he saw was a soft outline.

"Well, I need to see you," he breathed, his face nearing hers—at lease he hoped so.

"No," she protested a bit too strongly. "You don't need to know who I am. Just as I don't need to know who you are. Besides, the power's shorted out. A fuse must have blown."

"So, that means you just want to screw and be screwed, and that's that?" he asked, his teeth nipping little marks on her throat. He didn't really care. Maybe Hikaru and Kaoru were onto something; maybe he really did need to get laid. And here was a girl who was offering that with no strings attached.

He could hear her grit her teeth as she tried to forcefully yank him away. Kyoya smirked as she grabbed his hair, pulling him away from her body.

"I change my mind, you prick. I don't need this," she growled out. "I'm going somewhere else."

"Where?" he said, trapping her in his arms. God, she smelled so good. How long had it been since he'd held a woman like this? Forever, it seemed. "There's a storm outside, and it's not safe for a young lady like you to be wandering about. Stay; I promise I won't be a prick anymore."

She seemed to soften a bit, and Kyoya felt her face with his thumb to locate and capture her lips with his. She tasted even better than she smelled. She tasted of strawberries and her scent was the heady mixture of jasmine and musk. Wherever Hikaru and Kaoru had gotten her must have been somewhere high class. She might've been an heiress, wanting to have a fun time while still young. He had encountered her kind before. At the least she was a bored co-ed the twins had managed to coerce into a convoluted plan to seduce him. Whatever it was, it was working. He was more worked up than he could ever remember being and the relief this girl would bring him would be more than enough to sate him for a while.

He felt her respond to the kiss hesitantly, as if unsure of what to do.

Virginal act, eh? I like that.

And in the midst of passion, neither of them became aware of anything anymore.


Renge sat in her office at Renge-chan's Host Club. She had opened it after graduating from business school, loving nothing more than to have her very own Host Club. The boys didn't mind, and gave her their blessing. It wasn't one of those low-class escort services one found in the red light district of Tokyo. No, it was a high-end establishment that only catered to the rich and famous. All of the escorts (both male and female) were from well-to-do families themselves, wanting to do something—anything—with their free time. Before hiring anyone, she put them under the most extensive physical and mental exams, courtesy of the Ootori hospitals, to ensure the 'happiness' of their clients without the danger of any illnesses and such that came with the profession.

Her father wasn't happy about the type of business his daughter wanted to manage but he couldn't control her when she was young and certainly couldn't control her now. He just found some investors for her. The only good thing he could say about it was it was highly profitable, with annual turnovers reaching into the millions.

Renge was old enough to know that being arm candy for a night or two wasn't the only thing her employees offered, though it's what was officially stated in their contracts. But those 'extras' were at the own volition of the employees. The Club only got paid on the stated hours as asked by the client. Extended hours were at the escorts' own discretion.

So when Haruhi came to her asking for help, Renge hesitated. Haruhi knew what the escorts were doing for extras, and she said it was what she needed. Additionally, it was safe. It took a lot of bribing and coercing on Haruhi's part for Renge to agree. Worried for her friend, Renge had asked her best to do it.

Toushiro was tall, handsome, and most of all, genetically perfect. He had no illnesses, was fit and healthy, went to the gym twice a week, and had no history of any hereditary diseases, except heart disease. But really, what family doesn't have a history of heart diseases?

She had talked to him, and he had agreed. Of course, Renge avoided mentioning Haruhi's true motive and just said that there was a client who wanted some 'hands-on' experience. Apparently, she was to be married soon but was anxious about pleasing her husband, especially on their wedding night and insisted on some instruction. He didn't mind jobs like this; he got them a lot. It was part of the business. He had received stranger requests. Jobs like this were his favourite: he'd rather teach a young wife-to-be how to please another man than service a bored fifty-year-old wife of a businessman. His boyfriend wasn't happy about his job, but he couldn't do anything about it. The money was too good.

So it was a surprise to Renge when Toushiro called that night. His boyfriend had come back from a month-long trip from Africa and was only allowed three days in Japan before being shipped again to some other country. He had apologized profusely, asking if the girl was waiting for him.

Then it hit her. Haruhi! Kyoya!


She called Haruhi's mobile but all she got was a busy signal. She tried her office; the secretary told her that she was away and did not wish to be interrupted anytime soon.

Renge put down the phone, calmly flicking through her magazine once again.

A huge grin appeared on her lips. This should be interesting.

It was time that the two finally got what they wanted.

A blessing in disguise, that's what it was.


"Are you a virgin?" Kyoya asked as he felt the girl tense below him.

She gulped audibly, asking, "Will it hurt?"

Kyoya shook his head, rolling to his side. He had never had a virgin in his bed before. He knew that it would hurt, and he didn't want to hurt her. He voiced this and the girl grew furious again.

"No way, mister," she barked, hovering above him. If he could see her face, he would have been terrified at her expression. "We've gone this far. You're not backing out. Now, just shut up and have me. I can take it. I'm a big girl."

Kyoya laughed. The girl seemed stricken for a moment, evidenced by the way she stopped gnashing her teeth at him.

He pulled her face close to his.

"Well, if you say so, who am I to argue?" he said, before kissing her again.


Haruhi basked in the afterglow, trying to regain her breathing. It was more than she had bargained for, but then again, he was probably used to things like this.

She moved to stand up, wanting to leave immediately.

"Where are you going?" he said softly, grabbing her arm.

"My business here is done," she replied shortly, attempting to peel off his fingers and failing.

He wouldn't let go. "I need to go home."

She could sense him grinning as he said, "Well, mine's not done yet," and pinned her back on the bed.


The storm was over when they both gave up. It was delicious, sure, but hey, rest is also vital.

So, tired and spent, Haruhi didn't even mind when he pulled her into his arms, wanting a post-coital cuddle. She didn't really care and was too exhausted to protest.

Thankfully, her body had gotten used to two-hour naps throughout the day to make up for the prescribed seven hours of sleep that she often failed to get. With a jolt, she jerked awake, finding herself in unfamiliar territory, and, more importantly, in an unfamiliar bed. The storm had passed, and soft sunlight was filtering through tiny gaps in the thick curtains, indicating sunrise.

Smiling slightly, she remembered the night before. It was wonderful. She never knew that she could react that way. He really was a pro.

She turned to him, at least wanting to know the face of her baby's father (if there was a baby created that night), to know what her child would look like, if he looked like him. It didn't matter, not in the least, but she was just curious.

She didn't know whether to scream or faint. Was it possible to do both at the same time?

Kyoya Ootori, bane of her existence, was in front of her, his arms around her, snuggling with her. Kyoya Ootori didn't snuggle! Kyoya Ootori didn't just have a one-night-stand with her, did he?! Kyoya Ootori would not become the father of her baby, would he?

Aw, damn, it really happened, didn't it?

Of course not, Haruhi rationalized, biting her knuckles in an effort to not yell and wake up her bed mate.

He must not have known it was me or he wouldn't have done that. It was too dark; hell, I didn't know that it was him. Shit, shit, shit. This was a big mess.

She tried to move away from him but he just held her closer. She stayed still, and then carefully removed his arms from around her.

When she finally freed herself, her body shivered at the sudden lost of warmth. Hastily, she gathered all of her clothes off the floor and threw them on, not minding that she looked thoroughly shagged, before bounding out of the room.

She called her secretary, saying that she was coming in a couple of hours. He said yes, and that Renge Hoshakuji had a message for her.

Haruhi's eyes narrowed.

Renge had a lot of explaining to do.

To Be Continued

A/N: A new series has started. You guys must be sick of me posting up new stories, leaving you hanging, not updating for a while, and then concentrating on other stories instead. This just wouldn't leave my brain, and I was losing focus in work over this. I never lose focus in work. I'm that kind of workaholic. It just HAD to be written. I lost sleep over this thing. Hope you guys liked it, if so, please let me know. And if not, let me know as well. Thank you very much.

Disclaimer: Kyoya gave Haruhi and me one question (Where is Mars located?) to determine ownership over him. Kyoya must have known that I wasn't good in Geography.