No Need for a Child's Body! Sasami's Bold Decision
a spamfic by Dot
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Sasami, her chin on the table in a very cute way, sighed plaintively. Now matter what she did, she could never seem to get Tenchi to think of her as anything other than a little sister.

"Miya?" Ryo-Ou-ki looked up at Sasami with a puzzled glance.

"Oh, Ryo-Ou-ki..." Sasami petted the cabbit along its ears. "I just wish I could grow up faster..."

Sasami's eyes lit up as she suddenly remembered something. Jumping to her feet, she ran upstairs into Aeka's bedroom.


(some time later)

Tenchi was worried. He hadn't seen Sasami for hours, and she was usually never far from Ryo-Ou-ki.

And he was hungry.

"Tenchi..." a low, seductive voice crooned.

Tenchi swirled towards the stairs and facefaulted.

Standing at the top of the stairs was Sasami, in Tsunami form. She was wearing one of Aeka's "other" dresses, the ones that showed just enough cleavage to tease the imagination, as well as some other things.

"S-sasami..." Tenchi stuttered as Sasami glided down the stairs.

"I love you, Tenchi," Sasami said as she wrapped her arms around Tenchi. "I've loved you for a long time, but I was always afraid that you'd never take me seriously." She drew a finger across his cheek. "So what do you think of me now?"


(yet some more time later)

Aeka and Ryoko collectively fumed at the handwritten note Tenchi left on the dining room table.

"Hi, Eloped with Sasami. Don't come looking for us.

~Tenchi P.S. Ryo-Ou-Ki decided to come with us as well. ~Sasami

"How dare they!" Aeka growled.

"And just before dinner, too!" Ryouko added.

(elsewhere)


"Mmm..."

"Mmm..."

"Miya!"

"Oh, sorry, Ryo-Ou-Ki. Of course we'll share!"

Tenchi reached down into the bucket in his lap and held out a handful of popcorn to the cabbit, who ate happily.


(back at the Masaki household)

"So you can find them?" Yousho asked worriedly.

"Of course!" Washuu answered with confidence. "After all, I'm--"

"--The Universe's Greatest Genius, yadda yadda ya," Ryouko finished impatiently. "Do you have to say that in _every_ fanfic?"

Washuu shrugged her shoulders. "Sorry, it's in my contract."

A loud crash sounded in the distance.

"What was that?" Mihoshi asked with alarm.

"The Fourth Wall breaking," Kiyone answered flatly.


(elsewhere, again)

"Uh, Sasami..."

Sasami beamed at Tenchi. "Yes, Tenchi?"

Tenchi blushed. "What's that you have in your hand?"

"Oh, this?" Sasami held it up. "The Authoress doesn't write lemon scenes, so I brought an orange instead."

"Oh."


(Washuu's lab)

"I think I've found them," Washuu announced proudly.

"How are we going to get there?" Mihoshi wanted to know.

"That's right, both Ryo-Ou-ki and Tsunami are gone!" Ryouko remembered.

Washuu tapped her chin. "Well, I do have a Flying Dutchman somewhere, but it's old and a bit unstable."

"Or you could always just take the van," Nobiyuki suggested.


(elsewhere, a third time)

Tenchi was naked.

And so was Sasami.

Sasami spoke first. "Do you think the laundromat's done washing our clothes yet?"

Tenchi shook his head. "I don't think so." He sighed. "I knew we should have packed more..."


(some time later)

"Aha! There you are!"

Sasami and Tenchi froze as six angry women plus Nobiyuki stormed into the room.

The fully-clothed Sasami rose to her feet, her face pale but determined. "What do you want? I'm not going back with you, no matter what!"

"Please, Sasami!" Aeka begged, falling to her knees. "I promise we'll share!"

"Really?" Sasami asked. The other women hesitated a bit, but nodded. Sasami picked up a sheet of paper and a pen that were lying on the table nearby. "Well, then..." She wrote down the days of the week, and then a name next to each of the days. "How's this?" She asked, holding up the list for all to see. Seeing that the general consensus was positive, she beamed. "Great! Don't forget, you promised!"

"Yes, Sasami," the women chorused as one.

"Wait!" A similarly fully-clothed Tenchi protested weakly. "What about me? What about my--"

"Of course I haven't forgotten about you, Tenchi!" Sasami interrupted, adding Tenchi's name to the list. "You'll get Sundays."

Nobiyuki began looking a bit woozy. "By himself, or..."

Sasami gave Nobiyuki a strange look. "By himself, of course! All of us are doing it by ourselves, so it wouldn't be fair if anyone helped."

"..." Nobiyuki spouted a fountain of blood an passed out.

"What's with him?" Ryouko wondered, poking at Nobikyuki with her foot. "What was the big deal with of how we divvied up the chores?"

Washuu shrugged. "Beats me."
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This came out of a silly discussion on the FFIRC (#fanfic on bachman. newberry.edu, plug plug :) that was mostly Sean Gaffney's fault. The idea, though, is mine.