Sorry for the long wait everyone! Since this would most likely be the most popular choice, here it is: our favorite giant robo-medic of doom, Ratchet! xD

4th. Do not anger the Autobot Medic (G1)


Now we all must be familiar with the famous, or rather, infamous Autobot Medic Ratchet. Ratchet is the Chief Medical Officer (CMO) who has more experience than any other human doctors that have ever been born onto the planet, and has served longer as a medic than our planet's existence. It is safe to say the mech knows for certain what he is doing and whatever breaks can be fixed. From time to time, the medic may have also fought on the field, being called on the line of duty for the Autobot cause. However, as capable as this medic is, you must beware one thing: His bedside manner.

Ratchet possesses the temperament of PMS-ing wolverine who hasn't slept in a week. Many mechs who have found themselves in his medbay have come out with more injuries than they received from battle. The twins, Sunstreaker and Sideswipe, are his favorite patients of them all. Ratchet is able to intimidate the sociopath, something many Decepticons are not able to do. Ratchet's weapon of choice is a large wench, which he is able to toss at his victims with deadly speed and accuracy from a miraculous distance, and have the wrench return to his hand like a boomerang. Also, the medic will not hesitate to punch the metallic noggin of any mech who has caused themselves injuries due to negligence or completely inevitable occurrences.

Do not believe that because you are a human, you will remain immune to the Autobot's wrath. Ratchet has many creative punishments for your species. Some may include pain, some may include sheer boredom. However, none will be pleasant. Therefore, don't anger the medic. However, the two easiest (and most likely, the only) ways to avoid his wrath is to remain uninjured or to make sure you have the twins to blame upon (however, this will lead a seriously pissed giant robots coming after you). If everything goes well, you might just get away with a concussion.

Questions and Answers

Q: So, lets say I sprained my ankle while running down a steep hill. You're saying he'll be angry with me?

A: Yes human. Why were you running down a steep hill in the first place? Unless you were running from Decepticons, there is no logical reason.

Q: Wait, if he's a medic, why is he beating the living crap out of his patients?

A: Ratchet may be a little violent in his methods, but it is his way of showing he is concerned about you and that he was worried with you. So what if he mercilessly pounds his wrench into his patients and throws abnormally sharp objects directed towards your face. He cares about you.

Q: Why would he hurt a human!? I thought the Autobots fights to help us, not to cause us any bodily harm.

A: You are true about one thing: The Autobots fight to save all sentient being from the Decepticons, but that doesn't mean they don't want to hurt you. The three laws of Robotics don't apply to the Transformers, therefore, should the Autobots ever think you're not fighting for…well…do you really want to know what would become of the planet Earth?

Well, the basic things you have to do to avoid to bring the livid nature of the Autobot medic is to just be careful and make sure you don't hurt yourselves in stupid stunts. And remember: FEAR THE MEDIC!

Sorry it took me forever. School must ate me so much to make me have several things I have to finished and be left untouched. I'll try to update as much as possible during the break. I usually have the most time the update during weekends, holidays, and vacation. But, enough babbling, Have a Merry Christmas/ Hanukah/ Kwanzaa everyone! God Bless and get ready to rob Santa Claus when he comes down your chimney!