KKM doesn't belong to me, and all those other depressing things.


Anissina is the most intelligent demon scientist to ever walk Shin Makoku; she knew this, and the rest of the castle ladies also knew this.

The men, however, are convinced that she is the bringer of Armageddon, much scarier than Soushu on his very worst day. But they were men, so Anissina didn't really worry about them.

Lately though, the Selfish Loafer has been quietly distancing himself from Yuuri, making him absolutely useless for her research on the lovelife of a third former-prince currently engaged to a king. So, in her endless wisdom, Anissina decided to run a few experiments (oh, she could just hear Gwendal calling them torture sessions) to find the perfect solution for reclaiming the lost fiery Brat Prince of Shin Makoku, His Excellency, Wolfram Von Bielefeld.


"Wolfram!" the unusual voice calling his name made Wolfram pause on his way to the training grounds, but his uncontrolled shudder told him who it was behind him. Quickly the blond resumed his walk, moving much faster in the hope of escaping the only woman he feared more than his mother. Anissina had grabbed his shoulder in his split-second of indecision, and Wolfram barely stopped himself from slapping the hand away and running for cover. Instead he forced a frown on his face and turned to meet the source of his irritation. "Anissina, big big brother's out on a mission, and no, I will not tell you where he is!"

The blue-eyed woman just smiled. "You're the one I want Wolfram! I noticed that you've been a lot more quiet lately, and being the foremost authority on human, half-human and demon behaviour, I can tell it's because of that king of yours."

Wolfram kept his mouth shut, not wanting to say something and prove Anissina right. It could hardly be his fault...could it? Years had gone past, and still Yuuri refused to accept him. So what if he was getting really tired and wasn't as energetic as he usually was? It's not like the wimp noticed.

"Well, I have a series of experiments that I have volunteered you for, and I can guarantee you on my honour as a woman that His Majesty will love you after we're done!"

At first, Wolfram wanted to shout "No!" and zoom away to the opposite end of the castle, but then he realised that anything was worth a try at this point. It's not like there's anything to lose.


(Experiment 1: The reaction when a king is faced with a possible enemy for his affection)

Yuuri had just had a bath after an extraordinarily long day filled with tax files and noisy battles for land on paper. All he wanted to do was curl up and sleep, though he was anxious to see Wolfram, who had (worryingly) missed dinner.

Opening the door to his room he was met by the sight of Gisela and Wolfram sitting close to each other on the bed, the room dark but for a single candle. The creaking of the door made Wolfram turn, and he acknowledged Yuuri with a brief nod before turning to whisper something to Gisela. She smiled and they both got up. Yuuri had reached the bed by now, wondering if Wolfram was sick. "Gisela, you go to the kitchens first, I'm starving and I'll have dinner with you in a moment." Gisela nodded, and received a kiss on the cheek from Wolfram. "Goodnight Your Majesty, Wolfram" she mumbled before going out and closing the door behind her.

Yuuri watched the exchange with badly-hidden shock. He never knew Wolfram and Gisela were so close... And for some reason he couldn't say he was pleased with it. "Really, Wolfram!" he whined, "I haven't seen you for ages, you skipped dinner and now you're meeting up with Gisela!"

"What's your point, Yuuri? She's a... friend, and it's not like you particularly like my company either. Oh, and by the way, I'm not sleeping here tonight. I have a few other people to meet, so either I'll spend the night with them or I'll sleep in my own room. Have a good night Yuuri"

Wolfram left without looking back, while Yuuri nearly fainted with the confusion swimming around in his mind.

"Good job Gisela, you've been a great help with this experiment."

"It was my pleasure, Lady Karbellnikoff."


(Experiment 2: A king who is befuddled and worried: the result when pressure is applied)

"Now remember Greta, if you say the lines I taught you perfectly, I'll write you into my latest book, and you'll be my brilliant girl-helper. Think of it as acting, and at the end of the play your silly papa king will love your papa Wolf"

"Right, Anissina! You can count on me to get them together!" Locks of brown hair went into disarray as the young girl nodded vigorously. Anissina smiled brightly and patted her assistant's head.

"Your Majesty, Greta said she needs to tell you something important and wants to meet you in her room. Oh, unless you want to help me with my latest experiment! It really is quite exciting, metal teeth are used-"


Anissina shook her head, amazed that Yuuri could have said all that in a breath while running up a flight of stairs. With luck, he'll get to Greta's room in time for the girl's performance.

Yuuri rounded the corner to Greta's room a few minutes later, leaning against her door breathing heavily. He could hear Wolfram's voice quite clearly, and it sounded like he was having a serious talk with Greta. Yuuri decided to wait outside until they were done. However, he couldn't help but overhear a bit of their conversation:

"Greta, you know that since my engagement to Yuuri is a fake, we won't get married right?"

"But papa! If you don't marry Yuuri won't you be alone?"

There was a slight pause before Wolfram started again, and Yuuri could hear the blush in his voice.

"Not alone, Greta. There are... others who love me the way I want Yuuri to love me. But know that I'll love you, Greta. No matter who I'm with, or whatever happens, I will always love my little princess"

A fuming Yuuri almost missed Greta's response, though when he did hear it he felt ill.

"Is it Gisela nee-chan?! Papa, she's so nice and pretty and smart, and she told me that she thinks you're very brave! Oh, papa, I like her. I'd have two papas and a mama then!"

Greta's giggle was cut off by the sound of a chair scraping against the stone floor as Wolfram stood up. A brief pause told Yuuri his fiancé was kissing his daughter's forehead.

"Don't say anything to Yuuri, Greta. In the end he decides if we marry or not, so don't worry your pretty little head over it. Now I'll go look for that wimp, ok?"

Moments after he had regained his breath, a now very angry Yuuri ran off before the door was opened and a tired-looking Wolfram peeked out, as Greta sat grinning widely on her bed.


(Experiment 3: The outcome, when an unstable king is mixed with flowers)

"Anyone who buys these flowers to be sent to Lord Von Bielefeld will help the royal couple cement their relationship. The profits will be used to help our sisters in countries with even sillier men for rulers!" Anissina's eyes gleamed from all the attention she was getting from the maids. "Here's an incentive: the more flowers Wolfram gets, the higher the odds for your One True Pairing bet to end with Wolfram and Yuuri as the couple"

A short pause as odds were measured and winnings and losses imagined...

"I'll have a dozen Beautiful Wolframs!"

"I'l buy two dozen!"

It has been an odd few days for one Yuuri Shibuya, king of demons and wimp extraordinaire. He barely saw Wolfram at all, the blond never returning to his room since that night Gisela was there. And when he did manage to catch a glance of Wolfram, he was always in the company of women, most often with Gisela and Anissina. Unlike the past though, Wolfram never shouted at them to go away, nor did he stick to Yuuri's side like an over-protective angel armed to the teeth with his fire and passion.

Maids would bravely tap Wolfram's shoulder and whisper in his ear, then run away giggling, and it took all of Yuuri's pacifism and will to stop himself from growling or worse, having a jealous fit.

I don't even want to think what I'd be jealous about.

So Yuuri decided to confront Wolfram about his odd behaviour, and maybe come to some conclusions about what exactly was going on. The only thing Yuuri knew for certain was that he didn't like this quiet Wolfram who calmly accepted the adoration from girls, and he wanted his old fire-breathing you'll-never-get-rid-of-me always-there Wolfram back.

So after the fourth dinner with Wolfram absent, Yuuri bravely made his way to a room he formerly didn't know existed. The first thing that struck him as he turned a corner was the strong scent of fresh flowers. Wondering if the maids had been using a new soap, Yuuri knocked on Wolfram's door.

He heard muffled curse, and without waiting for a reply he opened the door, scared that Wolfram really was ill and had just hurt himself.

Instead he was greeted by the sight of Wolfram engulfed in a wall of flowers, large green eyes blazing as he tried to push back the mound of flora. Bright yellow Beautiful Wolframs near his head blended with his hair, and roses and flowers of dozens of shades peeked over his shoulder and from behind his back. Seeing Yuuri, Wolfram swore before taking out his sword and chopping the bush into little manageable bouquets that littered his feet. When he managed to clear up enough that the bed was visible, he waved for Yuuri to take a seat.

"Umm... Wolfram, what's all this?" Yuuri asked, pointing to a large bunch of wilting flowers in a glass vase on the bedside table.

"I don't know! It started a few nights ago with a few stalks of flowers, and now the quantity increases every time I come in! The maids swear they didn't put it there, and the cards are all signed "Admirer" and stupid things like that. Gisela laughed when she saw tonight's bunch!" Wolfram huffed and sat next to Yuuri, irritatedly flicking what appeared to be a yellow and pink daisy off the bed.

Yuuri stiffened when the healer was mentioned, and he remembered what he was here for. The thought that some random person had managed to smuggle what was basically a garden into Wolfram's room made him certain that he was right to talk to Wolfram now.

"Wolfram, what's going on with you and Gisela? You shouldn't be fooling around with other people then call me a cheater! What happened to all your rants about being my fiancé and our engagement?" Yuuri couldn't help it; nearly a week's worth of anger and confusion made him sound harsh and much more insulting than he ever wanted to be with Wolfram.

Wolfram looked at him hard before looking away and closing his eyes, fingers massaging his scalp.

"I told Anissina this wouldn't work"

"What?! Anissina too? I can't believe you would do this to me!" Yuuri found himself horrified by the thought, before being even more horrified when he discovered the reason why he was so upset with Wolfram.


Wolfram was oblivious to Yuuri's sudden and abrupt enlightenment.

"Shut up, Yuuri, don't you dare accuse me of cheating. Anissina only wanted to help make you fall in love with me! She's shown more care and worry for how I've felt about this engagement in this past week than you have in the past few years! I accepted the help of all the women in this castle for you, so that you'd be jealous and you'd love me, and you say I'm cheating? At least Anissina's experiments have proven that my efforts are pointless to attract you-"

Wolfram was silenced by a very flustered Yuuri very quickly pressing their lips together.

"What was tha-"

Another kiss, and this time it was more lingering as a certain double-black enjoyed the taste of beautiful Wolfram, his Wolfram.

It worked to completely silence the blond, as he only stared at Yuuri. Blushing wildly, Yuuri plucked the bright yellow flower from the bed and tucked it behind Wolfram's ear. Shyly he whispered as he looked at Wolfram's face, black eyes filled with innocence and...could it be? a flare of love.

"The experiments worked. I wouldn't have exploded and realised that I didn't want anyone else sharing my fiancé if I had been left alone without Anissina's help"

Yuuri shuddered a bit, before looking at Wolfram earnestly, pale hands clasped in his own.

"Wolfram, I'm telling you that I love you, so please, please never let Anissina experiment on us again. I don't think my heart could take another shock like this"

Wolfram had finally regained control of his vocal chords, but the most he could manage was a choked,

"Stupid, stupid wimp"

Yuuri nodded seriously, then grinned when Wolfram began smiling.

"Yeah, but Wolfram's stupid, stupid wimp"

They sat like that for a while, holding hands and smiling at each other.

"So... That conversation with Greta a few days ago..."

Yuuri received a chiding smack on the arm.

"Eavesdropper. It was planned"

"And Gisela-"

"Likes me the way I like big big brother"

"How about the flowers?!"

"No idea"

"But Wolfram! Maybe-"

This time, it was Yuuri who was distracted with a kiss.


Anissina's study report:

The best way to handle a king who is in denial of his feelings for his male fiancé is as follows, as proven by scientific experimentation:

1)Expose king to a possible rival who may steal away his fiancé.

2)Manipulate king's mind with help from adopted human child.

3)Throw prince, king and anonymous flowers into room. Allow to burn.

The results are as follows:

1)Happy blond fiancé, no longer suffering from unrequited-lover syndrome

2)Happy double-black king, not plagued by intense male stupidity... as much

And therefore, a happy kingdom.

posted for the very selfish reason of wanting to get the 2000th story placement

you stole the sun will be updated by the end of july, I'm making excellent progress with the story XD I like this fic, even though i fail at writing kiss scenes. Remember to read and review!