Disclaimer: Hellsing belongs people who are not me. I am making £0.00 out of this fic, it is written purely because I have a burning need to create. Although I would like to own Alucard . . . then he'd be mine.

Rating: PG-13

Authoress note: Sailing and Vampires.

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Seras squealed with delight as the boat bounced its way out onto the open water. She had always loved the water when she was younger. She could remember beach holidays with her parents before they had died. Her father had always tormented her mother by splashing her with the frigid British sea. But her mother had always gotten her revenge, waiting till he slept she and her daughter would bury him in the sand. Then when she had been in the orphanage she had always been the first one in the water and the last one out. She missed open water when she moved to London where the only real water was the Thames and that was always so covered in boats and surrounded by buildings that it was difficult to even see it let alone go out onto it. So she was very happy when Sir Integra had told them that they had a new mission and it was in the Lake District. The lake in question was huge. A small island sat roughly in the centre of the lake and it was that island which was apparently serving as home sweet home for their target. Pip laughed at her joy at being out of the water and she glared at him. Alucard, however, did not look happy to be frolicking on the water at all.

"Police girl sit down!" he snapped. His glare far more effective than hers had been on the captain. Instantly she felt herself obeying, she sighed, irritated. She did not want to take his blood, she did not want him to stop being her master, but it was irritating that she could not say no to him when he truly wanted her to obey.

"Why?" she growled still irritated, she'd been having fun.

"You struggle to remain upright on surfaces that are not constantly bouncing," he grumbled "and if you fall in I am not coming in after you." He reached out and pulled on her, dragging her forcefully away from the edge of the boat on which she had perched. She landed with a thump on the boat's floor. "I hate water." He finished.

"I can swim all by myself master," She mumbled, "I don't need you to do everything."

"No police girl you cannot swim. Not anymore," he snapped.

"I always thought the water was bad for ze vampires," Pip muttered reminding them of his presence "merdi!" he gasped suddenly "how do you shower?"

"Captain!" Seras snapped, one did not ask such questions in polite society. Even if Alucard didn't qualify as 'polite society' Seras was sure she did.

"Water can make us ill, it restricts our movements when we are young and it is capable of becoming a most unpleasant threat. Submersion is unadvisable especially for the young," Alucard continued to glare hard at Seras on the floor "I do however quite enjoy showers, there is something so unappreciated about hot running water."

"Well, not all of us are old enough to remember the days water had to be boiled over a fire," Seras grumbled. Alucard chuckled at her sulking and nudged her with his leg. She glared harder. How come he was allowed to sit on a bench when she had to stay on the floor? She hissed quietly at him but found herself leaning back against his leg. She was starting to feel slightly ill. "Master?" she frowned, turning a little to look up at him, he raised an eyebrow at her "I'm young."

"Yes, police girl you are," He agreed his voice softer now. One of his hands absently resting on her head started playing with the ends of her hair, a small affectionate gesture.

"I'm not sick," she said plainly, he nodded

"Not yet no," he answered, "you are managing longer than I thought." She sighed, he was always teasing her!

"Master," she slapped his knee, it was the only thing she could comfortably reach. "Stop teasing me!"

"I am not 'teasing' you police girl," he sighed pinching the bridge of his nose as if frustrated. "You are young, you do not eat what you should and you are going to be ill on this lake." Pip blinked at the vampires in front of him. Vampires were meant to be mindless terrifying monsters, they were meant to snap your neck and suck out all your blood. They were not meant to curl up to each other and have a domestic. Seras was blushing at the scolding she had received and Alucard was glaring out at the water. But she had not moved away from him and he was still petting her hair. Seras sighed loudly, angry at her master. He always had to ruin something that had the potential to be really fun. Why was he even in the boat when he hated water? "I am here police girl because someone needs to keep an eye on you." He answered her angry thoughts, "I would have preferred to take flight, but you wouldn't stay still when we last flew and had I been mortal I would still have a black eye and some internal injuries from your struggling." The master vampire ranted, but he did not sound truly angry rather he sounded amused "and I almost went deaf from your screeching when I took you through the shadows, so a boat was the easiest option."

"I would like to fly," Pip said hopefully.

"I am not a taxi," the master vampire growled. Seras, however, was not truly listening to Pip and her master; instead she was watching the water and trying to keep her stomach from escaping through her mouth. She would be damned first before she'd say anything, though. She hated it when he was right all the damn time. Her master's dark chuckle brought her out of her musings.

"Bastard," she muttered when he lifted her into his lap and took a look at her.

"Why?" he smiled and lifted her head, sniffing at her, checking her over to make sure the water was not having too severe an effect on his fledgling. The last time they had moved over a body of water she had had he coffin to protect her and he had not worried but this time she was on the open water without protection and she was still very young. "I didn't make you sick." Confident that she would be alright once they reached the approaching shore he went to put her back on the floor. That proved difficult though when she clung to him. She was shaking and the master vampire frowned. His confusion stopped however when using him to keep her balance she leaned over the boat's edge and threw up everything she had drunk in the last few days. Wrapping one arm around her waist so as not to lose her over the side, the master vampire made small sounds in the back of his throat and stroked her back with his free hand. Summoning shadows to hold her hair back from her face.

"Master," she breathed when she was done, "can we please fly home?"

"Only if you don't kick me," he muttered.


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