One Spray Keeps Vampires Away

Summary: Bella gets a little bored in Edward's car, and decides to search around his glove compartment, not expecting what she'd find.

DC: I don't own Twilight and its characters

(Lala Rue: Just so you know in about the middle of this I switch to Edward's POV. I separated it with a line breaker.)

I could walk and I was free. I stepped out of the doctor's office, the sudden heat of the summer's day hitting me full force. I almost wished I was back in the air conditioned waiting-room. Charlie was ready for me as I got into the back of the police cruiser. "Everything look well?"

"The doctor said that it would feel weird for awhile, but the cast was ready to come off." I looked down and wiggled my toes that I hadn't seen in awhile. I'm in need of a shower, I thought to myself. The slow heat of the summer was mixing in with the heat of the cast, making my leg sweat like no other the last few weeks. "Can we just go home?"

"Sure," Charlie said, turning on the ignition of his police car. I felt slightly embarrassed to be in the old thing, but Charlie insisted that he would drive me home. I frowned. Edward also took away my car keys just so that I wouldn't drive; agreeing with Charlie that it would be safer if he had drove me there. Edward didn't trust me with my clumsiness.

"Just one more thing for me to be less worried about," he had said. I rolled my eyes.

We were home in a few minutes. Charlie let me out, and then got back into the car. He still had to go back to work and would be home later. I waved him goodbye before stumbling my way to the house. No less than a second after Charlie rounded the corner, there was a cold arm gently guiding me up the steps. "You don't want to break your leg again, so soon after the first fall."

"Hello to you, too," I said through clenched teeth. It was even more embarrassing to be helped up the steps. I tried to yank my arm from Edward's grip but to no avail. There was no way to win against a vampire. "I'm not old. Let me walk!"

Edward let me go, and instantly I lost balance. He caught me; a smile of triumph on his face. I let him guide me again, silently seething at my bad balance. He opened the door and we made our way to the kitchen table.

I sat down in a chair with a sigh, and rolled up my pant leg; ready to see the damage. Edward was leaning over me, watching me. I watched as my leg got nastier and nastier. It was discolored and felt weird to the touch. Because I hadn't shaved, the hair reminded me of a rainforest. And to top it all off, it didn't have a pleasant smell. I cringed and hurriedly pulled the pant leg down. Edward chuckled. Suddenly annoyed I asked, "What's so funny?"

"You," he replied with another smile. His bright teeth flashed.

"I don't see any kind of humor in this situation." I stood up, testing my strength. My leg wiggled a little under the weight, but I managed to take a few wobbly steps towards the stairs. Edward held his arms up, but I rejected him ahead of time. "I'm going upstairs to take a shower."

"I won't follow you then."

"Good. Now, weren't we going somewhere today?"

"I'm driving." Edward prepared himself to leave. "I still have your keys, and as I said, you're not driving until tomorrow."

I rolled my eyes. "I'll be ready in an hour."

Edward blinked. "An hour?" It was an unusually longer time than he was used for me to get ready. I was always in a rush to see him again, but not this time. "Why so long?"

"I have humanly-girl things to attend to. Not that you'd understand since you're a boy."

"That's not the only reason," he muttered almost out of earshot. I frowned a little sadly at the sudden melancholy of his tone. He shook his head, a smile coming back to his cold lips. "Sometimes I wish I could read your thoughts."

"And all of the time I'm glad you can't." I gave him my best smile as I gripped the handle rail harder than normal. "I'll see you in an hour, Edward."

"Don't kill yourself getting out of the shower, Bella." He shut the door behind him and I stood there wondering to myself if he was teasing or if that was a real warning. I shrugged and turned around, heading up the steps.

The shower felt good. I rinsed away the two month whatever might have been growing on my leg with a lot of soap, and I shaved and washed it up really well. When I got out of the shower, I looked into the mirror. My hair was next, and I dried it and pulled it off of my neck. It took all of forty minutes to do what I needed to do in the bathroom, and now was stuck looking for clothes.

Edward would be exactly on time and I didn't want to be caught still looking for something to wear. I held up my towel with one hand and opened up my closet with the other. I stood there, searching for my summer clothes. Outside was muggy, and even though the sun was covered behind some clouds, the heat didn't vanish from the air. I finally found a red tank-top and a nice pair of shorts. I pulled them on carefully.

I had five minutes left. I slipped on my blue flip-flops and walked around the room. My leg felt like jelly, but I was going to get used to it. I peeked out the window and saw Edward's Volvo making its silent way down my driveway. I grabbed my jacket, in case Forks decided to rain today, and carefully went down the steps.

Edward was leaning against his car as I got out. He greeted me with a teasing smile. "You're still alive."

"Getting out of the shower wasn't that bad," I said, hanging the jacket around my arm. "Are you ready? I am."

"I've been ready for the past hour."

"Be quiet."

Edward opened the passenger door up like the gentleman he was, and I slipped inside. The first thing I always do is buckle up, for his driving is as if he were a racecar driver. Edward slid into the front seat smoothly and had the car going in a moment. Soon we were going down the streets easily reaching the highway where he was going eighty in three seconds. I felt myself relax into the leather seats. I closed my eyes and felt the road pass by us.

"Don't you want to know where we're going?" Edward asked suddenly, breaking my calm.

"Well, I know that you wouldn't put me in harm, so I wasn't really going to ask." I looked up at him. His eyes were on me as if he were trying to read my expression and not watch the road. I rolled my eyes, hiding the secret nervousness I always get when he drives without looking. "Edward, where are we going?" I asked, humoring him.

He looked back to the road for a second to my relief. "The meadow is a very cool place during the summer. I know you're feeling hot."

I sighed on the inside. Edward didn't always know how I was feeling or what I was thinking, but when he did know, it was worth it. "It's nice of you to think of me," I said.

"I'm always thinking of you, Bella. Don't ever forget that." Edward looked serious.

I patted his leg. The one I could reach. "I know. For the record you're always in my thoughts, even my dreams."

Sometimes I wondered if I really thought about things before I said them. Edward, for a split moment of a second, looked hurt. I had forgotten he couldn't dream at all. "Sorry," I mumbled, knowing he'd hear me.

"It's okay," he said patting my knee. The gesture brought a smile to both our faces.

We still had a few minutes before we reached the end of the highway and beginning of the forest. Edward had his thinking face on, and I was getting a little bored. I looked around his Volvo wondering just what was in this thing. I saw nothing on the dash; the interior was a little boring. I looked in front of me and noticed the glove compartment. I had never opened it up before, and now it seemed to be the most interesting place in the car. Before Edward realized what I was doing, I pulled it open.

It was empty other than one thing. "What is this?" Edward's eyes flickered over to what I was holding before becoming wide. I could just hear him thinking that he wished he could have heard my plan before it happened, or that he was paying a little more attention. I held it close to my body so that Edward couldn't get a grasp around it. Well, he could if he wanted to break my arm. "A spray bottle?"

"It's nothing, Bella." If Edward could blush, this would be the moment. "Put it back."

"Oh, come on! I want to know the smell." I sprayed some of it in the air thinking it was going to be pleasant. Edward groaned. I wrinkled my nose. The smell burned my nostrils. "Bleach? Is this bleach water?"

"If I say no, will you leave it alone?"

"No. I thought it would be like that favorite flower of yours; the one that smelled like me…but, really? Bleach?" I looked at Edward. He had stopped the car. We were there sooner than I thought. "I want to know details, please."

Edward sighed and set his chin in his palm and closed his eyes in deep thought. I suddenly got an image of that Greek statue holding his head in his hand and sitting in that on that rock. Minus the nude part, though. He sat for a few seconds, not looking at me. I held the bottle tightly in my hands.

"Very well. Hand it to me, and I'll tell you."

I obeyed, and he threw it back into the glove compartment. He stepped out of the car and was over at my side. "Hop on. I'll carry you up, and then I'll tell you."

I pouted, but carefully got onto his back. He grabbed my legs safely, and I made sure I was secure enough before he started to run. I dug my face into his cold neck and I felt the air push past me. I felt his vibrating laugh. I wasn't all the way used to his fast pace and if I were to look up, I could get sick. I wouldn't want to ruin his nice shirt anyway.

We slowed down after a few minutes. When I looked up we were at the edge. I forgot my jacket in Edward's car, but I felt a nice cool breeze and realized that I probably wouldn't need it anyway. Up here the sun had shown a little, but not enough to warm up everything.

Edward set me down on the soft moss, and then held his arm out. I took it and we walked into the opening. Edward's skin started to shine diamonds as we made our way to the middle.

"Are you feeling okay?" he asked. I nodded, still trying to get the run out of me.

We finally picked a spot to sit down. I let my hair down so that my neck wouldn't get cold and so that I could fluff it out after the run, and then watched as Edward closed his eyes against the scent. He made a soft sigh.

"Enough of these distractions," I said, breaking his mood. I gave him a teasing grin. He smiled back. "I want to know why you keep a spray bottle of bleach-water in your glove compartment."

Edward leaned back on his arms a little and stretched his legs out. I lay down next to him, staring into his honey-brown eyes. He sighed. "Remember back when you first rode in my car?"

I tried to remember back. It had been so long since I met Edward that I couldn't quite remember the exact number of times I even rode in his car. I tried, but Edward could tell that I wasn't getting anywhere. "It was the time you were in Port Angelus with your friends."

"Right!" I said, almost snapping my fingers. "And I was…being…chased." It wasn't a good memory. Edward had almost killed those men that night. "Go on."

Edward didn't go on about that exact moment. "After we ate and I dropped you off at home, I went back home myself."


The smell was so powerful. Freesia and that hint of strawberry shampoo. I couldn't stop myself from driving a little slower just so that I could have the smell that clung to the passenger seat and the jacket I threw in the back. Why did she smell so good? Why is it that I have such an urge to have that smell? My mind wasn't clear. It was the one night I had to watch myself on the road.

It took me longer to get home, and it took me even longer to try and get out of the car. I decided that I couldn't stay away from her. I needed this to live, or come close to living anyway. The perfect image of her came to my mind. I closed my eyes and took another deep breath, exhaling deeply. She was so…perfect. I felt my hands wringing the car wheel, and I had to control it. I could control it. I needed the control. I let my hands drop with a thud to my lap.

I didn't even know if I truly loved—or was it liked?—this human girl…this…Isabella Swan. All I knew is that I couldn't go on with my eternity without…how could I really explain this? I wanted to see her; I wanted to smell her; I wanted to taste her lips and, probably even more so, her blood. I growled at myself. I was putting my family in danger by even thinking about her. Perhaps I was getting attached. I probably shouldn't have invited her to my secret place, but it was too late. I turned off the engine, the night becoming quiet again.

There was a flash and Alice was at my passenger side window, gracefully smiling at me. I could see her pulling at the door handle, and several things ran through my mind. What if Alice smelled the human in my car? What would happen? Would she be angry, or worse, grow hungry? She would probably disapprove, but Edward noticed that she was on his side a lot of the time in any arguments. But then again, she probably envisioned me winning beforehand. Before I could think to lock the doors, it was open.

Alice was bent down in a second breathing in. Her eyes were closed and a smile came to her pale lips. I tried to protest, but she ignored me. I opened my car door and a gentle breeze came through my side to Alice's side, picking up the scent and lifting it to the wind. If I could catch that scent, I would have. I regretted opening my door. I regretted coming home.

It was then when it started.

Within seconds I felt the ground shaking. Emmett and Jasper came running down from the house, both drawn to that different smell. Both Emmett and Jasper joined Alice, and the three of them continued their sniffing. I could hear their minds and how they all wanted the blood of the human, Bella. Things were getting out of hand. I tried to shoo everyone away from my car, but I could tell there wasn't going to be any moving.

"Edward what is this?" Alice asked in wonder. Her eyes were slowly becoming dark.

"Yeah! Are you holding out on us?" Emmett half-joked. He knew that they weren't allowed to bite humans but was too drunk from the smell to even care.

"You must have had some kind of human in your car." Jasper was usually quiet and tended to himself, but this was too much for him. He sniffed the air again.

"Move away." It came out of my lips as more as a hiss than a command. "Go away."

"No!" Emmett moved Alice out of the way. She stumbled to the side, shaking her head clear from the scent. "It's way more intense when you get closer!"

I knew I wasn't any kind of match to Emmett's strength, but I tried to pry the huge vampire off of my Volvo. Emmett wasn't moving, and the more I tugged, the more he gripped the seat.

I noticed Alice freeze for a moment, and then tried to get my attention, but I didn't care. I wanted him out of my car. I gave one last pull, using all I had, and there came a horrible tearing sound. The car, which had tipped up when I pulled, landed down after the release, making more noise. Jasper moved out of the way just as the two of us, three if you include what Emmett held, slammed hard into the ground. Emmett got up quickly, but I was faster. I looked at my car.

"Emmett!" I roared. He was already running inside of the house, my whole passenger car seat in his claws. I looked back at my car, the inside torn, before running at full speed inside the house.

There Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie and Emmett stood. Emmett held the seat as the three others smelled it. I took a little moment to smell it, too, my anger washing away for a few seconds.

"It's very enticing," Esme said, at last.

"I'd have to agree," Carlisle added.

"Get it away. I think it's a hideous smell." Rosalie had a mask of pure disgust on her face. I felt myself get a little angry again. How could anyone not like the smell of my human?

Oh no. I was already claiming her.

"Don't tell me." Carlisle looked from me to the seat. "This is from your car?"

"Give it back." I growled again.

"I tried to warn you." Alice and Jasper came back inside, regaining control over the situation. "I saw it and I was trying to warn you."

I ignored her. I was ready to rip anything that got into my way of my seat—my smell. I then felt the air calming, and I knew Jasper was trying to set the mood. I felt my body relax and Emmett's arms were lowering. He finally set the seat on the ground, gave me a face as if he were teasing, and he left up the stairs. I stepped over to my seat, looking at the tattered and torn edges. The stuffing was falling out and the stitches were ripped apart. I sighed.

Rosalie gave a huff and crossed her arms. She swung her head one way, trying to block out the smell that came from my seat with her golden hair. "If you clean that thing off with bleach, I'll fix your car so you can drive it in the morning."

"Thank you, Rose."

I picked up the seat and ran it outside. I set it in and ran back inside the house. Esme was already mixing up a concoction of bleach and water in a spray bottle. "Keep it in your glove compartment in case that smell just happens to come back." She gave me a warm smile. I couldn't help but to smile back despite my mood.

I took it and went to my Volvo. After taking out Bella's jacket, which was an even more powerful smell than the car seat, and hiding it, I bleached out the car. I made sure the smell was as gone as it was going to get before getting Rosalie. She scrunched up her pretty face before examining the damage. "Leave me alone, I'm going to fix it."

I thanked her again, and went away. I decided that I'd take a run, letting it lead me to my human's house.


"Wow," I said, after hearing the story. I stared at Edward, making sure it was done, and shook my head. "You're family is weird."

Edward laughed. His body shook with the laugh. I felt myself blush and getting slightly irritated. "You say the most obvious things at times, Bella!" Edward set his cold hand on my cheek after the laugh was gone. "You didn't let me finish, though. After that incident every single time you would ride in my car, before I leave to go inside my house, I would wash it down with the spray bleach."

I smiled. "It's like a product for you and vampires. I can see it now: one spray keeps vampires away."

Edward laughed again. His mood was happy, and I was glad I wasn't saying the wrong things to disrupt it.

"It is times like these that I'm happy to not know what you're going to say next. It keeps me guessing."

"That's how I like it," I pulled myself up. Edward lifted his hand off my cheek. I wrapped my arm around his neck, and laid a kiss on his cold, stone lips. "Do I still smell good to you, Edward?" I whispered after opening my eyes.

"Bella, you have no idea."


Lala Rue here, and this is my first and possibly last attempt at a Twilight fanfic.

This was supposed to be funny, it is to a point, but not as funny as I started it out to be. I actually found it easier to write Edward than Bella, and I don't know why.

Well, here's to hoping you liked it.

Please review!

Love, La'Ruelia!