Allergies by AndromedaMarine
"Oh, come on, that's a given. Peanuts."
"Seriously? Um... walnuts."
As Ronon and Teyla walked toward the gym to spar they heard the alternation between John's and Rodney's voices listing random things. It took Ronon a few minutes to figure out what they were talking about.
"Fine, way. Dogs."
"I've always suspected you were a cat person. Mice."
"How do you even know that? Wraith."
"That so does not qualify! You can't be allergic to the Wraith. They kill you! Duh."
At this Ronon had to give a little chuckle – Rodney claiming that he was allergic to the Wraith. It wasn't a bad item to add to the list, he had to give him that – and Ronon was pretty sure that Rodney was also allergic to women. He and Teyla remained outside of the gym, listening to the banter emitting from the room before them.
"I'm just saying, technically if it can kill you you're allergic to it."
"So does that mean I'm allergic to guns, wrenches, and this city?"
There was a long pause; presumably Rodney was thinking hard. "Yeah, I suppose you could say that."
"In that case you're allergic to me."
Ronon heard a squawk. "I am not allergic to you, Colonel."
"Are too! You're also allergic to women," he added, as if reading Ronon's mind from outside.
Ronon could hear Rodney's very vocal protest at the accusation of being allergic to women. "Wanna bet?"
"So does me winning the bet mean you die? Because we're basing this allergic thing on whether or not they can kill you."
"That's only part of it. The other part is I can't get one or I just don't attract them."
Ronon heard John's hearty laugh echo around the gym. He turned to Teyla and gave her a huge smile.
"Well, then you're on. I bet you a hundred bucks-"
"John," Rodney interrupted, "you don't have a hundred bucks."
"Fine, then. You can have my Johnny Cash poster if you can get Teyla to go out on a date with you."
Ronon had to bite his fist to stop from laughing out loud. It was met with a rather heartfelt punch in the arm from Teyla, who was also smiling but completely not going along for the ride. "Do it," Ronon whispered to his friend. "Go out with him."
"No!" Teyla whispered back. "I do not wish for Colonel Sheppard to lose any belongings over an idiotic bet!" she said softly, smiling widely.
Inside the gym, Rodney was smiling. "You're on."
"Don't you dare give it away," Ronon whispered, laughing, to Teyla.
John and Rodney continued listing allergies for a few minutes, and then Teyla and Ronon walked in. Immediately John stood up and shoved Rodney over. Rodney scowled at John, but put on a gracious face when he faced Teyla.
He opened his mouth to speak and suddenly both Ronon and Teyla burst out into hysterical fits of laughter, unable to stop for any reason whatsoever. Rodney stared down at them (for they had collapsed onto the floor). "What in God's name? You inane creatures!"
It took Teyla a full eight minutes to cease laughing. "Colonel Sheppard," she said, still giggling a little, "you do not have to give Rodney your Johnny Cash poster." With that, Ronon had renewed laughter and Teyla resumed her place on the floor in a new bout.
Rodney turned around, his mouth hanging open. John too had collapsed on the floor and was laughing hysterically.
And Rodney smiled.