The Adventures of Tuxboy

The Adventures of Tuxboy!

By BobCat and Slothsoul


Chapter 7: What Would Batman Do?

When last we left our heroes, Chase was singlehandedly staring down the grim Dark General Jadeite. And Usagi and Minako were off… say, where were they, anyway? What say we find out?


Earlier…

"GET BACK HERE, YOU STUPID CAT!" Usagi was angry! Here this was her what, third date with Mamo-chan and Luna had had to mess it up! It's like she was out to make her miserable!

Which, given that Luna is, at the end of the day, a cat, is not an entirely implausible hypothesis…Sloth? HEY! What are y—STOP THAT! You-! GI--!!

Kitties are adorable.

…Right. Jerk. Moving on!

Suddenly, Luna came to a halt and spun around. Usagi kept going, slipped and fell on her keister. Crying ensued.

Luna snapped, "Cut that out! The enemy is running an energy stealing operation out of Gym Shapely!"

Usagi stopped crying. "What makes you say that?"

"Well Usagi, a kilogram of fat is composed of roughly 7,000 kilocalories, a measure of energy normally shortened to calories in everyday use. A particularly extreme workout lasting an hour might burn 1,000 calories. People come in here, work out for fifteen minutes and then leave about five kilograms lighter. What does this imply to you?"

Usagi grabbed her head. "Gah! Slow down! You know I suck at math! So… when does the train leave Osaka?"

Luna stared at the magical girl. "I could have probably saved a lot of time by just saying, 'Usagi, there's trouble afoot, transform and follow me.'"

"Probably," Usagi agreed.

There was a long pause.

"USAGI! THERE'S TROUBLE AFOOT, TRANSFORM AND FOLLOW ME!"

Usagi whipped out her broach. "Right! Moon Prism Power! Make-UP!"

As Usagi finished, Minako came running up. The emergency backup blonde's eyes widened. "What the… Usagi's a magical girl too?!"

Usagi posed. "Yup! I'm Sailor Moon! I'm a kickbutt beautiful superheroine of love and justice and… stuff."

Luna glared at her charge. "Usagi! What's the big idea transforming here in the hallway where anyone could run up and see you!?"

"B-but you said…"

"Never mind! It's too late now!"

Minako's eyes widened yet further. "A… talking… cat?"

Usagi stuck her tongue out at Luna. "See, Ms. Smarty-pants? You just talked in front of her! You're just as bad as I am!"

For her part, Luna was staring apprehensively at the other blonde. "Is she going to try to sell me and make millions too?"

Minako blinked at the comment, but decided to ignore it in favor of looking at Usagi up and down. "I can't believe this! You said you were a Sailor V fan, but I didn't think you were a copycat! Find your own costume and mascot!"

Usagi thought this over. After carefully weighing her alternatives and rationally pondering the importance of what Minako had just said, she prepared a response.

"I'M SORRY! I DIDN'T MEAN TO RIP YOU OFF! LUNA'S THE ONE WHO GAVE ME THE PEN! I'M JUST FOLLOWING ORDERS! WAAAAAAAAH!"

Sweat dropping Ensued.

Minako decided to defuse the situation. "We can talk it over later. Your cat said something about evil, right? We'd better get to work. After all, she who hesitates is late!"

And with that last comment, all of Luna's worries dissipated. "That's 'she who hesitates is lost.'"

Minako said, "Yeah, I suppose you could say it that way too." Luna's protest was cut off as Minako brought out her transformation pen. "Moon Power, Transform!"

As Minako finished transforming, Usagi said, "Hey, you said I was ripping you off, then you go and steal my name for your codeword!?"

Sailor V assumed a fighting stance. "Me rip YOU off? I've been doing this for months now!"

The two girls were glaring daggers at each other. Luna hopped between them. "Look, I know that superheroes usually fight and then team up, but we have VAMPIRES FROM SPACE IN THE BASEMENT. THEY HAVE PEOPLE IN PODS THAT ARE SUCKING THE LIFE OUT OF THEM. Can you team up now and fight later?"

"Are we allowed to do that?" Sailor Moon asked.

"It does seem like it would be all out of order," Sailor V added.

"YES. THIS ISN'T A DAMN MANGA."

"That's true, I've yet to see a single picture," Sailor Moon nodded.

"I know!" Sailor V agreed. "And I love pictures!"

Luna sighed and the two started chatting. At least they were chatting while jogging in the direction of evil. She found herself wishing that Usagi had found a nice, stable partner to fight alongside… instead of what amounted to the Earth 2 version of Usagi.

Elsewhere, Ami Mizuno sneezed, excused herself with a comment about allergies, and went back to reading.


Meanwhile…

Jadeite sipped a cup of coffee as he made his way around Gym Shapely, a subsidiary of Jadecorp Ltd. Things were shaping up nicely; he had made a lot of startup money by patenting a few Silver Millennium devices that the Dark Kingdom had in storage, and was now stinking rich. J. Dite was even starting to attract some attention for his supposed inventive genius and his daringness as an investor. After all, he had started how many businesses within the last week? A romantic pleasure cruise, a talent agency, he had bought out an old amusement park… He had even made the last cover of Businessweek. Moreover, the energy was just flowing in from Gym Shapely where people were quite literally killing themselves slowly to look good. He was sure there was some sort of social commentary in that… but he didn't care.

In short, things were good. Which, in HIS experience, meant that things were about to go very very bad.

And then he felt an energy disturbance somewhere in the building, followed shortly thereafter by another. And then one of his employees burst through a nearby doorway; if Jadeite recalled correctly, it led to the observation room. "Mr. Dite! We have a problem!"

"What?" he asked with a weary tone.

"You remember how you said to tell you personally if a young girl started talking to a cat while throwing around magic?"

Voice still weary, Jadeite said, "I recall my orders. What of it?" As though he didn't already have some idea… but he could hope.

"You need to see this. We have two of them."

Jadeite groaned as he followed. "Two? Really? Are you sure there isn't some mistake?" This was not what he wanted to hear. At all.

Yup, there they were. In all the black and white, soundless glory that his security system could provide. They had already made their way to the basement. Mind controlled body builders were already attacking.

The employee frowned. He had never noticed the large, energy gathering devices before. Unlike the trainers, the security guard was not mind controlled. After all, Jadeite wanted SOME personnel to be able to think independently. "Sir, why does the basement look like a set from a bad sci-fi movie?"

"I will double your salary if you stop asking questions like that."

"Yes sir!"

Jadeite scanned the security cameras. "Did you see them come in?"

"Yes sir. Two blonde girls who came in with some older guy." He tapped a few buttons, zooming in on Chase. "I don't recognize any of them, and I checked with the front desk; they didn't get their names."

Jadeite suddenly stiffened as he looked over Chase's face.

"Sir?"

"I want you to shut off all of the security cameras. You will take all of today's footage, save it for me on a disc, then delete it from the hard drive. You will put the disc in a security envelope and mail it to me at the corporate office. All employees are to leave the building immediately, save for the personal trainers. The personal trainers are to go to..." he paused, taking a moment to see where in the building Chase was, "room 402." Jadeite went to leave.

"Where are you going, sir?"

"Remember your promise about questions." Jadeite left the security room, and the orders went out over the loudspeakers. Once he was out of sight, he teleported to Chase's location in a swirl of energy. As he did so, he smirked. "It's been a long time, my prince."


And so, we catch back up with the present.

Chase assessed his situation as Jadeite made standard bad guy banter. He was alone facing off against a villain who had been brought down more by overconfidence than lack of power or talent in the "real" series. His energy reserves had recovered slightly since the night before, but as far as he could tell, he had maybe five minutes of high grade use before they sputtered out. Not that he was likely to NEED five minutes of power; he suspected that he was going to die before that became an issue. All he was armed with was the cane, and there were no convenient decorative flowers around to throw. A quick look around the gym revealed that the five or so bodybuilders were more than content to stand back and watch their boss go to work, which meant that he was outgunned AND outnumbered.

On the plus side, at least he wasn't wearing the damn Tuxedo anymore. His new, far more comfortable and loose-fitting outfit was largely dominated by white, with some areas grey and a rare black here and there: His pants were loose enough for freedom of movement, but not baggy as they ducked under outward elaborated shinguards, decorated with peculiar runes on their edges, on top of greyish boots that seemed polished; and on top he wore a long sleeved fitted and padded shirt (probably for defense) beneath arm guards of the same design as the shin's and black fingerless gloves. On each guard, a hostler stood on its underside, and on the left, his cane rested, ready and waiting.

Covering it all was a hooded cloak, its exterior the same pristine white as most of the outfit itself, the interior was dark as midnight. In fact, much like midnight, that darkness was broken by points of white, creating the illusion of stars.

He had thought it was rather majestic looking back when he had seen himself in the mirror, and upon seeing his face, he also thought...

...I'm Hatake Kakashi?

Well one might make that mistake (provided Naruto existed in this reality), as Chase was wearing a black half-face mask the fictional character was known for, along with black hair having been bleached to the purest white. It was a startling similarity, but his facial features and hairstyle were still the same, and none of his eyes were covered.

A fanboyish corner of his mind was still going over how cool looking like this was, but the rest of him was far more worried about the man studying him. He seemed to recognize him even with a different costume.

What was worse, in the back of his mind, he could still feel that intense sensation of being needed. He could only conclude that he had some sort of sixth sense for Usagi in danger.

He suppressed it. He had felt it enough to get a handle on it. His other five senses said he was in danger, and they outvoted his weirdo sixth sense. He needed to focus on the battle at hand.

The energy in Jadeite's hand pulsed again, taking on the shape of a sword. At the same time, the hideous exercise outfit was replaced with his grey uniform. "But enough talk!" With a swift, careful motion, Jadeite came in sword swinging.

Chase learned two things. One, his cane was harder than Jadeite's energy sword; the cane wasn't even scratched. Two, Jadeite was MUCH better at this whole fighting thing than he was. It was all he could do to keep from getting skewered.

Jadeite started the fight with a feral grin on his face, but it faded quickly. He grunted, "Is this it?" More strikes were launched. More strikes were barely ducked or dodged. "No technique, just pure reflex." He came closer and lowered his voice to a whisper. "Damn; you haven't remembered yet. I was looking FORWARD to this, Endymion." A savage slash cut into Chase's hood and was a hairsbreadth away from hitting his head. White fabric was now loose and Chase cursed.

Jadeite withdrew slightly and brought his sword up into a guard position. "Simply put, as you are now, you aren't worth it."

Chase blinked at this, then barely ducked beneath a swipe from Jadeite's sword. He knows? But the Dark Kingdom didn't learn that Mamoru was Endymion until… GAAAAH. I'm starting to think Setsuna may have had a point.

Chase noticed that Jadeite was becoming less efficient. Chase was still evading, but by wider margins. He's underestimating me… which, well, he's right to do. I can't keep this up too much longer. But he's also getting sloppy. Which means I can try… THIS!

"Power Pole, extend!"It was one of the cane's sillier powers, but Chase wasn't in a position to question it. The cane grew a good two feet, whacking Jadeite in the stomach. This took the General by surprise, and he stumbled back towards the mirrored wall. Chase followed this up with a still greater extension, which smacked into the polished glass. Jadeite cursed as shattered glass pelted him.

Chase was about to smirk and make a one liner about that "You're not worth the effort" crack (he was leaning towards, "Am I worth it now?"), when the bodybuilders charged straight at him. Jadeite seemed content to let Moon Knight be softened up for him. Instead of making a witty comeback, Chase leapfrogged over the head of the first to come at him.

And still that annoying voice in the back of his head was saying that Usagi needed him.

Shut up! He was irritated that he couldn't silence that Usagi Sense. She needs help, I need help! Everyone needs help! One problem at a time!

And then a little voice in the back of his head said, "We're trying to escape ANYWAY, right? And what happens when you give in to it?"

Feeling foolish, Chase teleported away, much to the surprise of his opponents.

Jadeite growled. This whole operation was going to pot. He snarled, "What are you looking at you idiots? Get to the basement right now! That's where those damn Senshi are!" As musclemen went into action, Jadeite opened a rip in spacetime and stepped through it. He was needed in the basement. Endymion, this so called "Moon Knight," was probably already there.

Jadeite grimaced before he stepped in. He was needed in the basement, but he had glass shards to pick out of his back. He swore as he stumbled, and he could see green blood flow down his sleeves. It wasn't much… but the reborn Endymion had proven himself dangerous, and Jadeite refused to fight him at less than his utmost. As he stepped through and prepared to summon a youma, he made a mental note to start wearing battle armor more formidable than grey paramilitary dress uniforms.


Slightly earlier, in the basement…

A half dozen young women and girls floated in energy gathering pod that looked like something out of the Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Dark energy flowed across them, pooling in a collection pod above. From there, it was funneled directly into the Dark Kingdoms' 'coffers.' A few bodybuilders, eyes glazed over, were on guard.

And then two blonde girls in short skirts burst in, mooncat in tow.

Sailor Moon posed. "Villains who would use the insecurity of girls!"

Sailor V posed. "Villains who would use the insecurity of girls!"

Both stopped.

Usagi whined, "Sailor V! We agreed I'd do the speech!"

"No way. You're the rookie. I'll show you how it's done!"

"But that's not FAIR! I was fighting these guys first!"

"Hah! I was in England fighting them for a year! You can't say you fought them first!"

"Those were YOUR bad guys! These are mine!"

"Oh yeah? Well… you're too pudgy to do the speech!"

"WAAAH! SAILOR V'S BEING MEAN TO ME!" Usagi started crying. The jewels set into her hair flashed bright white, sending the sonic attack out once again. The bodybuilders, Luna and Sailor V all groaned and covered their ears.

And then it stopped. Usagi stopped crying, opened her eyes and then her face turned beat red. There was a handsome man in front of her. Ohmygawd, he's HOT. He's my ideal man! He's… holding the jewels from my hair?

"No more magic jewels for you, Meatball Head. You've abused the privilege." Moon Knight pocketed them and spun around.

Usagi's heart sank. "Oh. It's you. What's with the new costume?"

Minako blinked. Who the heck was THIS guy? Was he single? Was he on their side? (It occurred to her that her priorities were out of whack.)

Moon Knight shrugged. "I felt like a change. Now, since you two are busy bickering, I'LL just make the stupid speech." He assumed the classic Sailor Moon speech pose. "Villains who would tease the overweight with promises of miracle cures! I am the Moon Knight, and in the name of Khonshou, Lord of the Moon, I shall seek vengeance!" He dropped the pose and brought the cane into a defensive position. "There. Speech said, now it's time to finish this fight!"

Usagi said, "Hey! That's my pose!"

"I don't see a copyright on it. Now, go, Sailor Moon and Sailor V! I'd say believe in yourselves, but hey, no big. We're just dealing with steroid crazed zombies. Piece of cake. And now, I take my leave…"

And then a hole opened in spacetime.

Sailor V said, "Cool, you can make wormholes?"

The color drained from Chase's face beneath the mask. "Um, no. Can't say I can."

Sailor V frowned. "Oh. Then this is bad."

A feminine arm holding came through, followed by a youma. She was, as they all were, not quite human looking. Her theme seemed to be… baseball? Not entirely appropriate for a fight in a gym, but Jadeite had been in a hurry. She actually looked more human than most, aside from the green skin and long, elfin ears. She was clad in a baseball uniform with the number "00."

Chase deadpanned, "Yeah, that'd be a fair bet."

The Youma whipped out a ball and bat. "PLAY BALL!" She tossed it in the air and sent it at the assembled heroes with the impact of a cannon. All three scrambled to get out of the way.

And so the battle was rejoined.

Sailor V was cool under fire. "CRESCENT BEAM!" The youma snarled angrily as the laser burned its right thigh.

Then she glanced up. "Hey, I bet THAT'S important. CRESCENT BEAM!" And so, the energy storage device exploded in an impressive fireball. The drained women were still trapped, but the black lightning no longer played over their prisons.

Usagi was… less cool under fire. She screamed and bolted when a gigantic muscleman charged at her.

Considering she was a young girl and he outweighed her by three times, this was understandable. So, Moon Knight didn't press the issue.

Chase muttered a curse as he clubbed the bodybuilder. His energy reserves wouldn't permit him to fight for too long. "So, a youma and a couple of minions. Not too bad."

Luna said, "Hey! These men are being mind controlled! If you break those bands on their heads, they should turn back to normal!"

"What are you basing this on?" Chase asked.

"I recognize the technology."

"Really. Do you remember where this technology is from?"

"Um… no."

"Okay. YOU'RE a reliable source of information."

Usagi looked up from her cowering position. "Hey, he has a point."

Luna's eyes widened. "Um…" She had nothing.

Chase chuckled. "No worries, I recognize the technology too. It's old Soviet tech. KGB issue. Take them out."

Nobody seemed to question his bluff. Huh. I seem to have their trust. I'll have to make a point of keeping it.

Usagi seemed to finally realize that she ought to be contributing to the fight, if only because she wasn't about to let Minako show her up. "MOON TIARA ACTION!"

The tiara flew out and struck one of the mind controlled minions in the forehead, shattering the band and knocking him out. Chase had expected this. What he hadn't expected was for the tiara to then bounce off and hit the remaining three just as skillfully before returning to her hand.

Usagi posed and Chase couldn't really fault her for the stupid grin on her face. "Hah! Who's a rookie stupid meatball head now?"

Chase clapped her on the shoulder. "Nicely done. Where'd you learn that?"

"I've always been good at Frisbee." She seemed a bit embarrassed by the praise. Maybe he isn't so bad after all. I mean, he is being helpful…

"I bet you think you're done now, right?"

"Um…"

"PLAY BALL!"

A baseball flew right over her head. The shockwave undid her pigtails (their structural integrity having already been damaged when Chase took the jewels away) and her hair, now free, made an audible "fwumph" as gravity took control. "Hey! Do you know how long those take to do!?"

"Situational awareness, Meatball Head. Learn it."

Her growing appreciation for Moon Knight died a swift death. "Stop calling me Meatball Head! My name is Sailor Moon!"

Sailor V was already on it. "Sailor V Kick!" The bat was knocked from the youma's hand. The beast grabbed its wrist and muttered curses in a language Chase didn't recognize.

Chase said, "Hey, there's your cue, Sailor Moon."

"Stop that! My name's Meatball Head!"

"If you insist."

Usagi blinked. "GAH!" Feeling a need to take her wrath out on something, she called out, "MOON TIARA ACTION!"

"Play Ball?" It looked up just in time to get bisected by the tiara. With a flash of light and a scream of "PLAY BALL," the Youma was moon dusted.

"That seemed like a lazy fight..." Sailor Moon muttered.

"This whole day has been kinda lazy if you want my opinion; as if the forces of the universe did this in a rush and distracted by other, possibly college-ish, matters," V mused; before turning towards the scene before her. She blinked. "What is he doing?"

"He likes to poke the piles of dust left behind," Sailor Moon whispered.

Chase let them continue their idle speculation. He was hunkered down, observing the quickly fading pile of "moon dust." He idly wondered if they were actually transformed into moon dust, or if it was just a euphemism for everyday ash. No way to know that. It was, after all, mostly gone after less than a minute. Something that short lived must be unstable. I hope it's not some sort of radioactive isotope. He wondered how he had the energy to hang around. When he'd shown up, he had barely had the strength to stay standing, and now he felt fully refreshed. This battle stuff is oddly invigorating… today only… okay, that can't be it. Weird. I wonder if…

Chase's thoughts were interrupted as Minako said, "So, um, do you know if he's seeing anyone?"

Chase's eyes bulged. He was glad he was facing away from them. Obviously Minako was underestimating her volume.

Usagi grimaced. "Barf! Him, with a girlfriend? I bet that perverted jerk couldn't get a date to save his life!"

Chase's face fell as she struck a little close to home. He was glad for his mask.

"Nevermind that," Luna mewled, jumping becoming the center of attention, "who are you anyway, Moon Knight? You're always helping us with no given reason! How do we know you are not the enemy!"

Chase pointedly ignored Sailor Moon's sudden 'eep!' before retorting, "It took you two missions for you to finally wonder about that? And what about her?" He nodded at Sailor V, "Not worried about her, are ya? I call sexism."

"Luna!" Sailor Moon gasped, aghast.

The cat rolled her eyes, "I'm not sexist, Usagi, he's just twisting my words!"

"Hey, don't drag me into this!" Sailor V glared at Moon Knight at the same time.

"It was ju-"

The sirens started blaring in the distance. All three froze.

"Oh no!" Sailor Moon gasped. "I should check on Mamo-kun! He could be hurt!"

Then she ran off.

For his part, Chase suddenly realized he was growing more attuned to his powers... In the fact that he could feel his costume receding away into whatever ether it came from. Hastily, he turned to Sailor V.

"Right, 'till the next fight then," he nodded, "help her out a bit, will ya? She's pretty much all over the place."

"She's not that bad," V replied, a tad defensively, "she's just not used to it. But did you see her dealing with the minions? It wasn't just luck, she's got talent. Loads of it. Hell if I tell her that though."

Moon Knight stared at her for a full five seconds, before nodding, "well, you've got your work cut out for you. Good Luck."

And then Sailor V was alone.

"Kami, why didn't I stay in England? Good old England with its reliable disasters that didn't make me feel old by giving me an apprentice to pass on my teachings to. I could still be hanging out with the Doctor... Geez, why did I make such a big deal of him calling me 'Rose' all the time?"

And then she too was gone.


"Wow, Mamo-kun! Getting pinned by falling weights that knocked you unconscious the whole time we were gone! That's amazing! And not a single injury too!"

The trio had 'reunited' shortly after a quick costume-change and, after unanimously deciding they didn't want to stick around and make the 10 o'clock News, had sneaked away from Gym Shapely to avoid dealing with the police.Idly wondering what excuse they would come up with for what happened as he walked back home with the two schoolgirls, Chase answered smoothly, "Only as equally amazing to you and Minako-san getting locked in one of the lockers accidentally, Usagi-chan. I didn't even realize they were big enough to fit one person, let alone two."

"Um, er," Usagi stammered, "w-well, they did! Like I said, we were looking for a... a... a b-book!"

"I thought it had been a water bottle."

"A book and a water bottle! Yes, that's the ticket!" Usagi promptly amended. Unseen by her was Minako, who was rubbing her temples in exasperation, making Chase think that it had finally dawned on her just how much work was ahead of her.

"Funny you should bring a book to a gym," Chase was rather amusing himself.

"W-Well, I-" Usagi sputtered, looking around widly.

"Oh look, an arcade!" Minako cut in loudly.

"Oh wow! Let's go play, I can show you that game!" Usagi yipped, dragging them both before Chase could protest.


In the darkness, watching them...

The foolish brat, getting too close to his prey.

Oh she would be his, there was no doubt. Time, he always had time...

Come closer, tasty pigtailed treat... He noticed that for some reason, her hair was unusually loose though, it doesn't matter... she's still my prey...

The stupid boy would learn soon if he got too close. Nobody takes what's his.

And oh, he was watching... he was always watching... always involved, always there, ready...

Only a matter of time...


"Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice..."

Chase blinked at his 'best/childhood friend', "what?"

Motoki's grin just got annoyingly wider.

"...Seriously, what?"

"Two girls, Mamoru? Schoolgirls? You've been busy."

Said girls were out of earshot. Chase was greatful. He shot Motoki a look. "Are you crazy? They are just friends! ...And I use the term loosely. More like 'girls who guilt me into going places with them.'"

"Uh huh," Motoki replied, "I know you like 'em young, Mamoru."

"...And I really don't like what that says about me."

"What?"

"Nothing."

Motoki was about to ask about it when the two blondes rushed over, looking quite put out.

"I can't BELIEVE this!" Minako shouted, Usagi sheepishly sipping on her drink.

"What?" Chase repeated for what he felt was the twelfth time.

"A Sailor V game! They made a SAILOR V GAME!" She snapped, pointing to the offended machine, "I didn't authorize this!"

Motoki blinked, "Why would you ha...?"

"Usagi-chan! It'd be so awesome if you showed Motoki-san your cool skills!"

"I will!" Usagi beamed, dragging a bewildered Motoki away.

Chase gave her a sympathetic look. "You should be more careful, Minako."

"Oh be quiet, you didn't get ripped off by big corporations!" Minako snapped back.

Chase shrugged. "I suppose I haven't. I'm sure you'll get it sorted out. Let me know if there's anything I can do."

She gave him a strange look.

"What?" Chase asked.

"I keep wondering whether you're the nice Mamoru Chiba who puts on an act as Moon Knight or Moon Knight the ass who pretends to be the nice Mamoru Chiba."

Chase fell off his chair. "W-What?!"

Minako looked up at him. "Oh come on, I meet a random psychic boy and a random superhero about the same height with the same voice on the same day. I'm not dumb."

For the second time, Chase could do nothing but stare at her. "Well, Usagi hasn't figured it out..." he trailed off.

"Well, it's probably harder to see when she sees you every day."

"She met me the same day she met him!"

"...Ok, she's a bit on the thick side, but that's not important!"

Chase remained perturbed. This is probably why she was introduced last, she's not an amateur like the others. She's actually pretty clever, malapropisms aside... I'm gonna need to be careful. Thank God she bought the psychic thing...

"Hey! Are you listening?"

Chase straightened. "H-Huh?" He flinched, well, at least it's not 'what' again...

"I asked you if you know who I can talk to about this Sailor V Game thing!" Minako demanded.

"Oh," he blinked, "well the creators of the game, I'd guess. Don't know who they are."

"I'll find out," she promised.

"You seriously didn't know about your own game? It's been out for a while now."

"Only in Japan! I'd never heard of it before! Trust me, if there had been a Sailor V game put out in England, I'd have known about it!" She protested. "Using my name like that... They won't get away! I should at least get royalties!"

Chase sweatdropped, "Well you can try and take on a big corporation over the game and action figures, but I don't think it'll-"

"Action figures?!"

"...Oh right. Yes, there's Sailor V action figures."

"...Anything else?"

"Well, there's movies, comics, posters, tabletop games..."

Minako was twitching.

"...Energy drinks, shoes, fashion lines..."

Minako's twitching continued. Chase considered pressing on with his bullshit session with likely products (statistically, there HAD to be a Sailor V hentai game by this point), but decided to cut it short. He didn't want to give his ally a seizure, after all.

Chase finished, "You know, that sort of thing."

"..."

"Minako?"

Minako leapt up on the counter and assumed a determined pose. A mysterious wind of drama caught her hair. "I will not forgive them! Mark my words, I shall get what is my due!"

From his current position, Chase got a nice view up her skirt. He made a mental note to be more careful, since the local girls NEVER seemed to wear pants. He stood up and stretched a bit. Minako was currently ranting about the evils is capitalism and the improper use of her image and truth and justice and he wasn't sure what all else. "And that's my cue to leave," Chase grinned. "See you all later."

Amazingly, Usagi was too busy having a fangirl moment about Motoki helping her get past the Forest of Demons in Sailor V that all she managed was a, "'k, bye."

Meanwhile, at the Aino residence, Artemis frowned from his position on Minako's pillow. Where WAS that girl? He hoped he hadn't missed anything important.


Meanwhile, in the Dark Kingdom

"You have failed again, General Jadeite." Beryl sat on her throne as always, looking imperiously down over her crystal ball.

Jadeite kneeled before Beryl. It was uncomfortable; his healing magics were taking time to kick in. "I'm sorry, my Queen. But this cloud has a silver lining. We have gathered much energy."

Beryl glowered. "Actually, when you summoned the youma, you used up our entire profit."

Jadeite's eyes bulged. "Wh-what? But I had a massive energy store!" And since when does she pay any sort of attention to things like that? Someone must have told her, but who?

"Oh Jadeite, ever the planner. But… you were never much for details, now were you?"

And then Jadeite's bad day managed to get worse. He detected a whiff of flowers and a surge of dark energy off to his side.

Zoicitewas at his side in an instant. "I bet you just ran away from fighting that Moon Knight and assumed that you were fighting morons."

Jadeite said, "What are you talking about?" What's SHE doing here?

"Did you miss when Sailor V destroyed your storage?"

Jadeite smirked. Oh, is that all? "That's no problem. The energy will still be there. Once the police are gone, we can go in and gather it up."

Zoicite said, "Tsk. Again, details. That energy is gone."

"WHAT? Where did it go?"

Zoicite shrugged. "Something absorbed it."

Beryl cut of Jadeite before he could protest. "Given the obvious problems you're having managing our enemies, I am officially moving Zoicite to active duty. You are still in charge, but she will report everything you do to me."

Jadeite winced. "Y-yes, my Queen." Oh hell.


End Chapter 7

To Be Continued!

SLOTHSOUL: No news, college being as time consuming as expected, and I apologize about that, delays mostly my fault anyway. I did a short sketch of Moon Knight (costume and all) And I'll scan it at first chance, hopefully the next chapter will have a link for you to see it. And then the next a link to the inking, then colors, and so forth. Figured it'd be a nice easter egg. Look forward to it and the next, likely late, update.

For those who care, this was apparently Sailor V's transformation phrase in her solo manga. Put simply, to get this fic right, I have done a lot of research (e.g. read a lot of fansites and Wikipedia, watched 100+ episodes and whatnot) and now know a lot more about Sailor Moon than any man should. So, you guys are gonna get to enjoy the nuggets of my useless knowledge. Now Face Front, and get back to the fic!- Benevolent BobCat

Readers may wonder, why is Zoicite a woman? That will be answered… eventually.