XVI.

Kara's faith is the only stable thing in her life she always has. It is the only thing she's always able to keep in order.

Even for Lee, she won't do anything that feels like a betrayal to that. She clings to it as securely as ever, needing it now more than ever as she's balancing on a precipice not knowing where this is going, telling him she'll do anything but divorce is the one thing she can't do.

She never wonders if it's all because gods, just like ghosts, are so much easier to keep a loyal relationship with than the one who has always been standing right next to her. Damnation or shaming some higher power may not be nearly as terrifying to her as the idea of having to be good enough for him, trying to let him put his faith in her without letting him down once again.

XVII.

For a while Sharon Agathon has had several scars on her body. One where Cottle had to operate on her to deliver their baby. A small, barely noticeable one on her lower back Helo noticed the first time they made love which she got from falling back against something sharp. And a faint one over her breastbone where he shot her. Every time he sees the scars in the dim light of their quarters, he remembers there are so many others out there with bodies identical to her but none of them have these.

It's strange how much harder it is to do the second time he has to shoot her. Maybe because he already knows what it feels like to hurt her.

When she returns from the base star with Hera, she no longer wears any of these scars. But Helo still knows exactly where all of them are underneath the new skin and won't ever be able to forget. For such a long time they have both suffered a lot for love. When he carries his daughter in his arms at last and kisses her forehead, it has all been worth the price.

XVIII.

The oracle looks into Kara's eyes with tears streaming down her face, channeling the burdensome tragedy of all humanity. When she speaks Kara hears Leoben, too. "I know you."

"Kara Thrace, who hurts everyone she cares about," she says, and Kara remembers at once.

The night with Lee on New Caprica was the happiest she had ever been since the day the Cylons attacked, but she had taken too long to know that. She just woke up with him and wasn't taken aback by the feeling of the other body next to her, not remembering at first who it was. Until she opened her eyes and the first thing she noticed was his scar he had where she had shot him, and then she froze.

...Frak.

XIX.

"You'll see her every day," Tigh tells Tyrol after Cally throws herself out of an airlock. Flickering images assaulting him endlessly, his guilt manifesting everywhere.

"You'll see her again," Adama told him after Sharon died in his arms, leaving blood — real blood — all over his uniform. And her last words weakly telling him she loved him, with such real and heartbreaking conviction.

He did see her again, but not the way he could have expected. Even though he knew it was not his Sharon, that was all he could see. Even though he knew there was nothing rational about the feelings that made him about ready to kill Helo when they suddenly found themselves jealously throwing punches at each other over a machine.

Now it is years later and everything has changed, and after all the time he just tried to forget the happiest memories of his life that were all ruined in this war, now they have started to seem like the only parts of his life that were real. The memories of Sharon are so clear again, as if they all happened recently, the only memories he can be at all sure about now.

Sometimes he thinks he doesn't understand anything he thought he did about himself and doesn't know anything anymore except that he really loved that woman. He did. Even if someone else might think, if they knew everything, that he couldn't have.

XX.

After fading out and leaving everything in the dark she comes blazing back into his life, somehow shining more brilliantly than ever before. The same but completely different, seeming to burn inside with illuminating purpose so fiercely that it can be seen in her face. But Kara easily smiles like her old self again only when he comes to see her in the brig, so naturally it's as if nothing has changed.

He doesn't care that there are guards watching and maybe gods watching as he turns back around and kisses her. And kisses her. And kisses her. He ends with the last on her forehead and her face held in his hands and it feels like this has happened before, daughter friend sister lover. It does not even matter. She has been many different things to him and finally everything to him and no matter what the circumstances in which this kind of love exists between two people and no matter how imperfect it still is, surely the gods smile on this.

He hasn't agonized over deciding what to believe as much as others have. No matter what logical things he hears from his father or Roslin, he already knows there is only one way for him to go. If Kara is his enemy and he can't trust her then his entire world is pulled inside out and doing the right or necessary thing does not even matter and he doesn't know what they are fighting so desperately for anymore. Perhaps this is his only significant moment of faith in his entire life, the only time he has ever been forced to realize he can only accept that there is some kind of meaning and reason to all of this they go through. He can believe that her presence in front of him now, if never anything else, is a miracle. Because all along he knows it is not rational but his heart says calmly and surely, You are still the thing holding my world together, you are still you, because I am still me.

This is why it is so easy for him to say, "I believe you." And she already knows.

Some things do not need proof.