Left Outside Alone

By Shaz

Rating 12

Disclaimer: none of the characters that you recognise belong to me, they are all the property of hal dudey and his friends.

I am an old school heeler I loved the PJ and Maggie will they or won't they and I am a big fan of the early days with Wayne and then Adam I haven't even seen the finale or Maggie's death etc so if there are some inconsistencies with the timeline all I can say is that this is my own little AU. I hope that you enjoy my first Heelers fic, please review it- reviews really do mean the World to me. Please enjoy!

Left Outside Alone

He sat alone starring in to the nothingness that met his eyes. He knew he was on his own, he knew that his heart would never be whole again. He blinked his eyes furiously the tears stinging as he fought desperately to avoid them from falling down his pale cheeks. He couldn't believe how quickly life could change. He really didn't understand what he had done to deserve the hand that fate had dealt him.

He was so happy, he had found the woman that completed his heart, that filled his soul with joy every time he heard her name, that made his stomach fill with butterflies whenever her face was in his view and made his skin tingle with excitement whenever she touched him. He knew that he would never feel that rush again. He would never feel like the woman in his arms completed him- mind, body and soul. He rubbed furiously at his eyes- knowing that he was losing his battle with his emotions. He took several deep breaths to steady his heart, determined to not allow sobs to wrack his body. He knew that he was due to meet his friends at the local pub, he had made some feeble excuse to get out of going straight from work- but he equally knew that it would only excuse him for so long. He looked at his watch and sighed to himself, he had a few minutes to stay alone with his thoughts.


"Is he coming?" Tom asked his long time friend sat next to him.

"He said he was, I think he just needed a few minutes Tom" Nick replied, his own concern for his best friend reflecting in his eyes. Tom sighed deeply- his team were his family and he hated seeing any of them in pain.

"This is tearing him apart" Tom commented his voice laced with emotion. Nick nodded in agreement, his own frustrations at the situation mirroring his boss'. "Why did she do it Nick?" Tom asked his eyes filling up with tears. Nick shook his head- that was one answer he wishes more than anything that he could give- yet one he also knew he would never be able to.

"Another round gents?" the red-haired inn keeper asked he two off duty officers, dragging both of them out of their deep conversation and bringing them back to Earth. The two men exchanged a glance before each shrugged.

"Yea, go then Chris, ta" Nick replied, he wanted his friend to come and join them, for then he would know that he was safe and sound and with them His prayers were answered as finally his friend walked through the door and joined them where they sat. "Well it's about time Patrick" Nick grinned at his best friend, his eager glance not missing the reddening to the eyes or the sad slump of the shoulders- but his friend was there and for the moment that would do it for him. PJ smiled lightly, as much as his heart ached ad as hard as getting out of bed each day was for him- he had bloody good friends.

"Shall I make it three?" Chris asked the small group smiling in greeting at PJ as he pulled up a seat. He nodded slightly and his smile sent his thanks even though it didn't reach his eyes. "Are you lot eating tonight?" she asked as she set down the third glass on the table. Both Tom and Nick looked expectantly at their friend, knowing what his answer would be, but somehow hoping that tonight he would eat.

"Na I'm good ta Chris" PJ replied, and both of his colleagues sighed internally. PJ had lost weight, there was no arguing it. He had never exactly been big so it was weight that he could ill afford to lose, and every day they faced a battle to even get a morsel of food into him.

"Ya sure Peej, didn't you miss lunch?" Chris asked, completely ignoring the warning glances that the others shot her way. PJ turned to look straight at her, any anger left in him had deserted him after the emotional roller coaster of a day.

"Na Chris, I'm not hungry" he told her his tone polite yet still leaving no room for argument. Chris nodded gently, squeezed her friend's shoulder and then walked back to the bar. The three men talked quietly between themselves before each went home for the evening following the routine that they had set over the course of the last weeks.

End Chapter One

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