Title: Ticket to Nowhere
Summary: As they sit on the beach drowning their miseries, things go from bad to worse until they can take no more.
Notes: Spoilers for season 4 finale (There's No Place Like Home).
There were no words. There was no need for words. There could be no comfort in this, only the slow slide into forgetfulness.
It was a godsend, Sawyer decided, that his drinking partner was not big on words either. She wasn't much the type, he figured. It was an Other thing. Probably.
Only when the sky turned (not eerie purple like last time) hot white and there was a slight shake in the ground did they finally break their unspoken pact. He turned to her with confusion. "What the fuck was that?"
She didn't reply, continued staring out to the sea with casual disinterest. Sawyer wanted to smack her, shake her by the shoulders for being so calm. The only outward sign of her sorrow was the bottle dangling at her fingers, the large gulp she took, closing her eyes as the liquid burned down her throat.
He scowled. "Hey, Blondie, you wanna let me know what the hell is going on here?"
"I don't know." She answered finally, frowning at the horizon. "But I don't think we're in Kansas anymore."
Sawyer followed her gaze, certain for a second that he would see the freighter sailing the blue waters, safe. But there was nothing. Nothing...
"Where'd the smoke go?" Sawyer stood up slowly, squinting in the sun.
"Like I said, I don't know." Her voice was flat and she lifted the bottle to her lips once more, but Sawyer grabbed it before she could take another swallow.
"Stop being a rum hog." He said with more bite than intended, taking a generous swig of the amber drink before passing it back to her. Drinking would take his mind off whether to mourn for the loss of so many lives or not.
"Maybe your friend had something to do with this."
Friend? Not likely. "Funny you say that, Capulet. Cause I was thinking maybe your friend Ben had something to do with it."
"Hell, maybe it was both of them." She looked at him and once again he was taken aback by the dead look in her eyes, a complete contrast to the dark fear that raged inside his own heart as he hoped (Kate) everyone had been spared a terrible fate.
It wasn't supposed to happen like this. It was stupid stupid stupid and what the hell was she thinking? The sound of waves and wind in trees surrounded them (the same but somehow strange) as they crashed, messy and looking for a distraction, something to add to the alcohol or maybe a result of it.
When she touched him, his eyes were closed and he whispered Kate's name. His lips were on her and she bit her tongue, burying the name the threatened to escape her mouth. Then suddenly she was shaking, pushing him away but he didn't retreat. Vaguely, she felt his hands on her shoulders, soothing her awkwardly. It was endearing in a way. But it didn't matter, none of it mattered.
"Someone up there is laughing at us." She said with bitter tears in her eyes, the numbness finally giving way to pain she had been pushing away.
His arms were solid around her, reassuring her that she wasn't alone. "If you had said something trippy like 'the island was laughing at us', I woulda' had to give you a mouthful of sand."
She snorted at that, settling into his embrace with a mournful sigh, a tickling sensation at her shoulders... "Has anyone told you that you need a haircut?"
"Someone did. Once." Sawyer's voice was tight with emotion but she didn't press because she already had her answer. And just like that, they were back to their comfortable silence, only this time it was not the quiet of forgetfulness, but the quiet of remembrance.