Disclaimer: Of course I don't own the X-men or anything of the likes!

A/N: Alrighty ladies and gentleman! This is my first fanfic here! I didn't follow any timelines or anything just a one shot fic that I hope works… pairing is a bit different, not something I see a lot of so I hope its not too awkward. My grammar and punctuation suck by the way so please forgive and let me know if I should write again or pack it in at this!

Oh! And italicised words indicate thoughts... but I think that's pretty obvious :)


The perfect night sky sat just outside her window mocking her dark mood. The moon shone brighter than ever, as it provided the only light in Jubilee's room. The small woman sat on the floor in front of her bed, knees drawn to her chest and tears chasing each other down her cheeks as she stared at the photos around her. In her hands she clung to a group photograph which showed herself in the center; the X-men all surrounding their newest graduate. Everyone was all smiles, these people were her life. Softly Jubilee ran her hands over each face that gathered around her in the picture, taking a moment to think of each of them.

Scott and Jean, the perfect match for each other, Jubilee sighed. As sickeningly sweet as they are they still have each other. Something I will never have. Hank, always the go to man when I needed help with homework… he never gave up hope trying to teach me chess and eventually I learned.

A small, some what forced laugh passed Jubilee's lips as she recalled how excited Hank had gotten when she finally caught on to chess, how he had run out and bought Twinkies for everyone. Her fingers continued their march across the picture.

Professor, the man who truly saved me from myself. He gave me a chance at this life, a chance to fit in. Wolvie, he was always so proud of me… helping me succeed in everything I ever accomplished, the closest I've had to a father in a long time…Rogue- Jubilee paused a scorn passing over her face, stopping the tears. The bane of my existence here… you never knew you are so naïve… Ororo, my friend, so loving and caring. I can see how you fell.

Jubilee's fingers traced over Remy's face next, she dropped the photo quickly as though it were on fire. Shaking her head she allowed the sobs to rack her body once again.

Remy- the man… I love…if only he would love me in return, as I had always hoped.

Though she tried to fight it her mind raced back to a time just four months previous. She recalled crystal clear the sound of a slamming door, cursing and screaming as Remy and Rogue burst out into yet another argument. Unimpressed by the interruption to her latest movie Jubilee had gone out to voice her opinion, finding a distraught Remy pacing the hallway she invited him into her room to see if she could help calm the Cajun before things got too far out of hand.

Things had started off innocently at first, the two only being no more than distant friends and team members, it soon grew into a greater friendship. Jubilee became the rock for Remy to lean on when he and Rogue got into an argument, but one night a hug good night went a bit too far when Remy's hand brush against her breast, the two ended up in tangled sheets, Jubilee invariably loosing the virginity she had so coveted, but it had lit a flame within her heart and she did not regret it. The next night Remy had returned to her room, both of them shy, knowing the boundary they had crossed had changed their friendship forever. Standing around like two shy teenagers at a dance neither knowing what to do, Remy initiated the next move, taking her into his arms and she was lost again in a world that ended when he held her in his arms. Their meetings remained a constant over the months, staying secret, by day they kept their distance, strictly business and friendship. To the others around them nothing seemed different but every moment Remy was near Jubilee was sure her loudly pounding heart would give her away, a wink or a smile when no one was looking always signaled Remy's inevitable arrival that evening.

A part of her felt very smug knowing that despite what Rogue and Remy had she would be the one who fulfilled his physical needs- something Rogue could never do. The frequency of their evenings together increased and against all odds Jubilee held a hope that her feelings were mirrored somewhere deep inside Remy as well and that his relationship with Rogue would end, but as cruel as life would be the couples affair continued to remain a secret.

Letting out a low wail Jubilee lifted her head and reaching for the rope that lay on the floor by her hand she studied the thick mass in her hands.

This is my life, she thought sadly. Each of the X-men is a thread, all weaved together intricately. Every action drawing us all closer together and with it we form a tight bond.

Rising to her feet Jubilee pulled a small step stool over to the hanging plant that hung by her window, the thriving ivy plant angered her as she ripped it off the hook and threw it on the floor; dirt and chips of plastic from the cracked holder flying everywhere. The small innocent gift had lead her to this, to the only choice she felt she had left.

The ivy had been a graduation gift from Ororo, just two days prior, she knew how fond Jubilee had been of the plant, commenting on it every time she was in the greenhouse. Presenting the small token to Jubilee with a book on caring for the new gift, asking only that Jubilee return the small booklet when she had finished with it. Excitedly Jubilee had hung the plant on the hook, which Logan had finally mounted after she begged him to for hours on end, and delved into the book on plant care.

Finishing the book just hours earlier in record time, even for Jubilee, she had insured her new 'friend' was nicely watered before checking her Hello Kitty clock on the wall. Knowing she still had a few hours before Remy was due to arrive she decided to return the book to Ororo and ask her a few questions she still had. Excitedly the eighteen year old dashed towards the stairs that lead to Ororo's attic bedroom, taking them two at a time she stopped dead at the nearly closed door, taken aback.

Moving quietly to the door she peered through the small crack in the door, the world shattering around her. The sight of Ororo and Remy laced together in her bed as one broke her heart, the sounds of their pleasure, Remy's constant murmuring of Storm's name. Dropping the book she turned away, tears stinging her eyes she ran to her room waiting until the door was closed until allowing the tears to flow.

Now here she was teetering on the small stool, looping the rope around the hook. Looking at the noose, she stopped and stepped off the stool, on the floor she again went to the pile of photograph's selecting the one she wanted. Though her tears blurred her vision she knew what memory the picture held, it was a photograph of her and Remy, taken at the graduation. Remy kissing her cheek as she gave a blushing smile to the camera. At a time when all seemed to be right, still clutching tight to the photograph she again mounted the stool.

The silence in the room was deafening, Jubilee surveyed her quarters, she contemplated once more on leaving a note, but knew this action would speak louder than words. Grasping again for the rope she lowered the noose around her neck.

A perfect fit, she thought ruefully as she leaned against the rope causing tension. No turning back now.

Another deep breath and she kicked the stool out from underneath her, the weight pulling her down, stopping her breath. She waited, what else could she do, for death to take her. As she hung she noticed the opposite end of the rope dangling beside her, a frayed thread separating from the others. Jubilee's tears stopped as she laughed at the irony of all this, the frayed thread was hers, a life no longer fitting with the X-men. The lack of oxygen cutting off her laughter as the darkness closed in on her quickly, closing her eyes she allowed it to take her away, to a place far better than this. The picture fluttering out of her limp fingers.

The last sounds she heard were far away, maybe only a dream, a light knocking on the door and Remy's voice calling:


Then… Nothing.


Peeks out So… ?Please be gentle! I hope it will be decently received on Remy's jumping from one X-lady to another… it sure says something about his stamina though eh? ;). Anyways… yes… let me know!