Givens/remember/ 3


"22 Days"

An Original J/7 Voyager Story

2008 by Patricia L. Givens

ZoeAmory's Dare January 2008

Disclaimer #1:This story is an original work of fiction set in the pre-existing universe of Star Trek: Voyager. As such, many of the characters and references used within belong solely to Paramount Pictures. I have borrowed them for the purpose of creating this scenario and promise to return them unscathed, and smiling, as soon as I am done. No gain, monetary or otherwise, is expected from their use and no copyright infringement is intended or should be inferred.

Disclaimer #2:All original characters and storylines contained herein belong to the author. (Like anyone else would claim them!  ) This story may be archived upon request with the stipulation that it must be posted exactly as it was written, with all disclaimers intact.

Disclaimer #3:This story may or may not depict a romantic relationship between two women, I haven't decided yet. However, I did want to provide you with the warning that it might be there so that you could cover your eyes if it bothers you. Of course, then you wouldn't be able to read the story which would make this disclaimer completely unnecessary. Why don't we just call it even and move on?

Who To Blame:ZoeAmory…since it was her Dare that called for me to write it in the first place and set down the first and last lines.

This one is dedicated to Zoe, because she is too!

Angst Warning… That's all I've got to say.

To all that makes us unique!

DAx /\

"Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live."

-Norman Cousins 1912-1990

Sedated by the memories she only remembered to forget…

Captain Kathryn Janeway stared out of the viewport that hung over her head. She was tucked into the corner of her ready room couch, her legs drawn up beneath her, her hands clasped tightly together in her lap. Her head was leaning to the side against the back of the couch and she blinked tiredly, realizing that she had no idea how long she had been there, only that it seemed to be her favorite place as of late.

With a sigh she thought back to the weeks that had passed, slightly disturbed that the memories in her head seemed to follow no precise timeline but not bothered enough to care.

There has been quiet areas of space, all of which she had spent exactly where she was right now, there had been negotiations, which she had handed off to Chakotay, and there had been red alerts, which she had handled herself, pulling the knowledge of what was required of her from somewhere deep inside but never actually feeling the tense excitement of the moment, the roller coaster of emotions she use to secretly delight in.

All of that was past. It all seemed so small. Certainly none of it mattered anymore.

To experience excitement, to feel an emotion, to actually care… one had to have a working heart, a living soul…

And she didn't fit the prerequisites anymore.

With a shuddering sigh, she turned her head slightly and stared at the door. It had been twenty two days, thirteen hours and forty seven minutes since Seven had last walked through it. Twenty two days, thirteen hours and forty seven minutes since she had felt her heart throb painfully in her chest and her breath catch at the young woman's beauty.

Twenty two days, thirteen hours and forty eight minutes since she had assigned Seven to the away team, since Seven had cocked her head to the side, a small smile curling the edges of her mouth as she softly said, "I find the planet intriguing. I will comply."

Twenty Two days since the distress signal had come in over the ship's comm system.

The away team calling for help. They had a man down, several more injured, needing immediate evac.

A man down.

Imprecise, as Seven would say.

Twenty two days since she had stood in sick bay and watched the Doctor's face fall as he tried to revive her.

Twenty two days since her heart stopped beating.

Twenty two days since mine did too…

She couldn't bring herself to launch her body into space, choosing instead to take her back down to the planet she had found so intriguing, to place away from the predators that had torn the away team apart.

And there she had buried her, erecting a monument over her grave created from one of her Borg alcoves, complete with her commbadge hidden inside it.

And now, here she was, about to go out of range of that commbadge. Had she harbored some hope that it was all some cruel trick? That Seven would wake up and call her back? That she wouldn't be forced to live the rest of her life with the memories of what she had almost had?

But the time slid by, and there was no hail.

Twenty three days and all she had left was her sense of duty, her battered command mask, and an empty place in her chest where her heart used to be.

There was nothing left to go back for…

Leaving was nothing but an act of will.