Disclaimer: I don't own them, never have, never will.

Author's Note: Partially birthday gift, partially result of a plot bunny spawned by an art bunny I apparently spawned. O.o What goes around comes around? This is completely random and entirely non-serious, mostly due to having Rihanna's 'SOS' playing in the background while I wrote it.

Happy birthday vejiraziel?

- Rescue Me -

The world seemed to pause for a moment as Skywarp and Jazz met optics. The blast-marks on a nearby boulder and the half-faded snarl on the seekers face explained what he was doing there, but both of them knew that Jazz was certainly not supposed to be anywhere near this particular Decepticon camp. In fact, the Autobots weren't even supposed to know about it. Still, Skywarp hesitated as he brought his vulcan cannons to bear on Jazz, and the saboteur smiled faintly, knowing why.

"I could save ya half th'trouble and surrender, or y'can save yourself all the trouble an' just forget y'saw me." he offered. Skywarp looked uncertain - until a familiar blue jet suddenly screamed overhead. It did an abrupt about-turn when it spotted Jazz, and with a curse, the saboteur jumped behind a rock as Skywarp and Thundercracker opened fire.

--

Prowl had always been a fast planner. He thought on his feet, making corrections to plans even in the midst of battles. It was why he'd risen so quickly through the ranks - and it was why Optimus had eventually promoted him to his second-in-command. Prowl's abilities had only increased when he'd bonded to Jazz, making him quite possibly the most formidable tactician Optimus had ever known - there wasn't a fortress he couldn't plan a way into, wasn't a battle he couldn't figure out how to win, so long as he had the right data and a few moments to think.

This time, though, Optimus mused, Prowl had outdone himself.

"Explain to me again why no one stopped him?" Optimus asked, the question more rhetorical than anything else, as he stared at the emergency doors, which nobody had even known were working until now, blocking the exit of the Ark.

"We, ah, didn't even realize what was going on until he was gone." Mirage said with a grimace. "You were still trying to reason with Megatron to let Jazz go when he made his move."

"Ah suppose ah shoulda asked a bit more closely when he asked for all'a those weapons." Ironhide mused. "But ah didn't even know the Cons had Jazz."

"They what?" a surprised voice asked from the back of the group of mechs, and Optimus turned to look over his troops, his expression half amused, and half very unamused. As fast as gossip travelled through the Ark, it apparently had nothing on Prowl when he set his mind to something.

"Let's see about getting this door to move. I'm sure Jazz, at least, will need Ratchet's skills when they get back." Optimus said.

"Sir? What if they don't make it back?" one of the mini-bots asked worriedly.

"This is Prowl, going to rescue Jazz. Not coming back isn't just unlikely, it's impossible." Sunstreaker answered for Optimus.

"Yeah. The Cons aren't going to know what hit them." Sideswipe concurred. Optimus agreed, then shooed his troops off to try and move the door before Prowl came back and hit the override. He'd rather not be shown up by his second-in-command for a second time today.

--

Jazz hummed happily to himself as he heard the Decepticon alarm sound. On the other side of the cell bars, Soundwave's head tilted in the familiar way most mech's did when they spoke over their comm. line. Jazz didn't need to hack into the signal to know what was being said - Prowl was here. Jazz couldn't help but chuckle as Soundwave evidently decided to actually try and stop him from being rescued for once. He'd rather thought the Decepticons had learned not to bother awhile ago, but Soundwave apparently felt another attempt was warranted, pulling his gun from subspace and releasing Rumble and Frenzy. The two cassettes slipped through the cell bars and took up positions beside Jazz.

"Heh. That's not gonna work." Jazz said as he realized they intended to use him as a hostage.

"Yeah, he's gonna let us kill you after he comes all this way to rescue you." Rumble said sarcastically.

"Oh please. You're not even going to have time to think of pulling those triggers." Jazz said with a wide grin. The two cassettes glared up at him.

"Suggestion: silence." Soundwave intoned.

"I'd rather not be." Jazz said with mock respectfulness, and resumed humming, despite Rumble and Frenzy's threatening him. It wasn't long before the sounds of laser-fire and shouts of alarm reached Jazz's audios, and his grin widened. The sounds grew closer rapidly, until they suddenly stopped abruptly, right outside the door.

"Y'got one chance t'surrender, Soundwave." Jazz said pleasantly, able to speak for his bondmate without needing to ask what Prowl was waiting for.

"Surrender: negative." Soundwave replied.

"Your funeral." Jazz said with a shrug, and then the lights went out. Laser fire sounded around Jazz, followed by three clangs as the Decepticons hit the floor. Then a pair of blazing blue optics appeared in front of Jazz, and the saboteur purred. "Hello lover." The lights came back on, and Prowl gave him an unimpressed look.

"One of these days, I won't come rescue you." the tactician said, glaring slightly.

"Pft, right, and the sky will fall." Jazz said with a grin. "Y'gonna unchain me? I wanna see what y'did t'Skywarp." Prowl just smirked as he undid the chains holding his bondmate in place.

- THE END -