Disclaimer – I own none of the stargate franchise.
This story is dedicated to Gater101 for her birthday – Happy Birthday!! I tried to make it angsty, but it's me… so who knows? Anyway, I hope you enjoy it, and had a great day! Also, I've never written Carson before, so I apologise if it's weird!
SPOILERS for series four, especially Kindred, and series five Search and Rescue.
Carson opened his eyes again, and blinked blearily. He felt absolutely bone-weary, and could feel that he was attached to all kind of things, so he didn't try to move. He didn't really feel any need to, either, because the sight right in front of him was more than entertaining enough.
Colonel John Sheppard sat in a chair by his bedside, slumped down slightly with one leg bent and the other stretched out in front of him. He had his head slightly turned away from Carson, because he was looking down at the bundle he held in his arms.
A baby. John Sheppard was holding a baby.
The baby didn't look more than a few days old, and had a tuft of black hair and deep blue eyes that were currently staring up at the man who held him. He was wearing a baby-blue body suit, and had a white blanket edged with blue squares half draped around his legs and then under his back. He was nestled into the crook of Sheppard's left arm, facing Carson, and Sheppard's other hand was resting gently on his chest, his finger tickling his chin every so often.
Carson had never seen that smile on the Colonel's face before. It sounded completely cliché, even in his head – but it warmed Carson's heart. It really did.
"Now that's a sight," he said quietly.
Sheppard's head whipped round to look at him, and he smiled again – a more normal kind of smile.
"Hey doc," he said. "How'd you feel?"
Carson thought about how to answer, but Sheppard took the hint. "That good huh?" He asked.
Carson smiled back, and looked down at the baby again. "I knew you'd get her back," he said.
Sheppard didn't say anything, but his grip on the baby tightened. He straightened up in his seat and turned to face Carson more. "I'm just looking after him for half an hour," he said. "I was gonna take him to my quarters but you looked like you were about to wake up, and I thought you'd want to meet him."
"Aye, you were right there," said Carson.
Sheppard stood up very carefully and took a step closer to Carson's bed. Carson summoned some energy from somewhere and sat up a little so he could see better. He peered down at the little boy, who raised his eyes to look at him, and smiled again.
"He looks just like Teyla," he said.
"Yeah, I think so too," Sheppard said. Carson looked at him again – that smile was back. "He has her eyes. I mean, not the colour, yet, but… you know."
"Aye," said Carson. "Does he have a name?"
"Yeah… he's called Torren John," said Sheppard. "After Teyla's father and after, well…"
Carson couldn't contain the grin that spread over his face. Sheppard was looking faintly embarrassed but was obviously chuffed with Teyla's choice of name for her son, and he was also obviously completely smitten with the lad.
Bless his heart.
"That's a real honour," Carson said after a moment.
Sheppard nodded. "Yeah, it is," he said. He cleared his throat and looked back down at little Torren. Little Torren John.
"Torren, this is Carson Beckett," he said seriously. "He's the guy to come to if you hurt yourself doing something your Mom told you not to."
Carson nodded solemnly, biting back his grin. "A pleasure to meet you, Torren," he said.
Torren just looked between the two of them, for all the world looking as if he knew what they were talking about, and thought they were crazy. Both Carson and Sheppard grinned down at him at the same time.
"So what…?" Carson's voice trailed off as Teyla entered the room – she saw he was awake and gave him a bright smile.
"Carson!" She exclaimed. "It is so good to see you."
She came over to stand next to Sheppard and squeezed his hand.
"You too, lass," said Carson with a smile. "I was just admiring the wee one."
Teyla's smile widened and she looked down at her baby, still secure and content in Sheppard's arms. She leant forward and placed a soft kiss on Torren's forehead – Carson watched Sheppard closely and saw that the smile he'd worn when watching Torren earlier was now being directed at his mother instead. Carson smiled to himself.
"I just came to collect him," she said softly. "Thank you, John."
"No problem," said the Colonel, handing him over to her. His hands lingered over the baby, tucking his blanket in around him and stroking his tiny hands. "I should probably get Keller."
"Yes," said Teyla. She looked at Carson again and gave him another smile. "I have to go and visit Kanaan now, but I will be sure to return later."
Carson cocked his head to one side enquiringly. "Who's Kanaan?" He asked.
"He is Torren's father," said Teyla. "We rescued him from Michael's cruiser but he is still under his control, and it has weakened him considerably. We believe – well, it would be best to let Jennifer explain."
Carson's eyes had shifted to Sheppard again as soon as he'd heard the words 'Torren's father', and had watched as the Colonel's face grew harder and harder with each of Teyla's words, staring down at the blanket somewhere near Carson's right hand. He didn't look angry or sad – his face just cleared of expression and set in blank mask, and his eyes clouded over as though he was deep in thought.
"I will return soon," promised Teyla. Carson tore his eyes away from Sheppard and smiled at her again, nodding. "Looking forward to it," he said.
Teyla gave him and Sheppard one last smile and then walked away. Sheppard watched her go, his blank mask slipping as he stared after her with a decidedly wistful expression. He snapped out of it after a few seconds though, and cleared his throat as though nervous that Carson had seen something. Carson just looked at him innocently and pretended he hadn't.
"So, I'll go get Keller," said Sheppard, stepping back. Carson just nodded.
"Okay… it was good seeing you, doc," Sheppard said.
"You too, John," replied Carson.
Sheppard nodded and turned to walk out of the room. Carson could tell that his mind was far away, walking next to the woman and child who had just left, who he obviously loved like they were his but who weren't – not really.