Yes...I have finally posted a Naruto Fanfic!! It took me forever, but I did it, and I'm proud to present it to you!! Please don't flame me...be nice. And I would like to thank my friend squirrelmaster for helping me come up with the idea for this little bit of awesomeness!! Kudos!! As you all know, I dont own Naruto...and never will so I present you the story!! Review please!!


Once upon a time there was a peaceful village called Konoha. Alright, it could hardly be called peaceful, as a giant Pokemon…er I mean demon fox was wreaking havoc, destroying things and killing people's parents and whatnot. The Fourth Hokage eventually sealed the nine tailed menace into a newborn baby and saved the village from the doom the fox was sure to bring at the expense of his own life. But in return he cursed the child he had sealed the fox in to having an emotionally crippling childhood, devoid of all the warmth and experiences of other kids his age which made him into the person he is today. And to put it well, frankly, he isn't the definition of a 'happy-go-lucky, carefree adolescent'. His name is Naruto Uzumaki and this is his story!!

Chapter 1: Enter Naruto Uzumaki!

"Alright, time to lash out at the society that left me emotionally crippled during my childhood!" Naruto Uzumaki said to himself as he proceeded to paint graffiti all over the faces of the Four Hokages.

"Ha ha, serves them right for treating me like the dirt underneath their feet for twelve years!"

"NARUTO!! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING TO THE HOKAGE'S FACES??" someone yelled from below.

"Oh…crap."

Naruto looked down to find his teacher, Iruka Umino, looking extremely angry.

"I'm taking out my anger at the world on these rock carvings. What would you rather me do? Express my feelings like a normal person? No one does that anymore," Naruto said sarcastically.

"This is not something I expected you to do, Naruto. I believe this would've been more in Sasuke's category of idiocy? But, you can't be defiling rock carvings on a whim. Start cleaning off all this paint NOW!"

"But I don't wanna!!" Naruto whined back.
"TOO BAD!! And be quick about it or you'll be late for class!!" Iruka replied, ending the conversation once and for all.

"Aww man why does my life have to suck so hardcore?" Naruto thought to himself as he began to wipe off all the drawings he had worked so hard on from the early part of the morning.

In the Classroom:

"Alrighty kiddies, settle down we're starting class," Iruka said as he entered the classroom, a sour looking Naruto trailing behind him.

The class dispersed their little social groups and sat down in their assigned seats.

"Now…since Narutard here didn't pass the last transformation test we had and to punish the rest of you, we're gonna do it all over again!!"

Everyone groaned and then laughed at Naruto because he was indeed a tard.

"I don't get it."

Suddenly all the laughter stopped and everyone in the class turned to look at the person who had just spoken.

"Sasuke…you never 'get it' when we make fun of anyone, not even yourself," Iruka sighed as he stared at Sasuke like the rest of the class.

Yes, Sasuke was indeed a full fledged idiot. He seemed to have lost one too many brain cells after sniffing too many smelly markers, or he had been dropped on his head one too many times when he was a kid. Whatever it was, he always seemed a little less cool every time he opened his mouth to say anything.

"But it doesn't make any sense!!" Sasuke protested.

"Only to you it doesn't. Now be quiet you dunce."

"What's a 'dunce'?"

"Look it up in the dictionary; your picture will be right where the definition is supposed to be."

"ZOMG are you serious?? Where's the class dictionary??" Sasuke asked as he jumped out of his seat to look for his picture.

"Well, anyway get lined up here in the front. All you'll have to do is turn into me and then you pass the test," Iruka said as he shook his head at the stupidity that had yet again escaped Sasuke's mouth.

The first one to go was Sakura Haruno, the most useless girl ninja out of any of the other classes and unnaturally obsessed with Naruto. Yes I said Naruto not Sasuke. He was too dumb for her tastes, and besides, she liked the guys who were total emotional train wrecks and had a messed up childhood. Sasuke only qualified for one of her requirements, so therefore he wasn't worth it. And besides, the only thing he had going for him was his looks, definitely not his intelligence or personality.

"Awright!! I finally get another chance to impress Naruto with my awesome, not useless ninja skills!" Sakura thought happily to herself.

"Ok, Sakura…show us…how um….not useless you are?" Iruka said as Sakura stepped forward.

The whole class began to snicker. Even Iruka couldn't hold back a smile, though he quickly hid it behind his clipboard.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LAUGHING AT??" was what Sakura really wanted to say, but instead, she settled for a basilisk glare that shut everyone up in the class.

"Ha ha Sakura is useless!" Sasuke laughed, obviously not noticing Sakura's death glare or the silence of the class.

"Um…Sasuke? Did you like not happen to notice the glaring basilisk over there and the silence of the rest of the class?" Shikamaru whispered.

"Um…what's gonna happen to me since I didn't?" Sasuke asked.

"This is what's gonna happen!" Sakura said, her fist flying and meeting its mark, namely Sasuke's face.

"Owww….that hurt Sakura-chan!!" Sasuke whimpered as he picked himself off of the floor.

The class once again began laughing, this time at Sasuke.

"Sakura! Get your useless behind back here!" Iruka yelled.

After giving Sasuke one final glare, Sakura turned around and walked back over to Iruka. She of course, did the transformation jutsu perfectly.

"Did you see that Naruto?? I'm not as useless as everyone says!"

Naruto wasn't paying attention. He was too busy looking at something.

"NARUTO…is that what I think it is?" Iruka said, an ominous aura appearing around him.
Naruto quickly hid whatever it was behind his back.

"It's nothing of the sort Iruka-sensei!!" Naruto laughed nervously.

"IS THAT…a Pokemon card?" Iruka asked, the aura getting stronger around him.

"Umm…..no?"

"YOU LIE!! LET ME SEE IT!!" Iruka said as he grabbed the card out of Naruto's hand.

"NO!! That's my Ultra Rare Premium Nine-Tails!! It's worth like ten UR's (Ultra Rare's)!!" Naruto cried as he tried to get his precious card back.

"How many times have I told you?? NO POKEMON CARDS WILL WALK THROUGH THE DOOR OF THIS CLASSROOM!!" Iruka yelled, stuffing the card into his pocket.

He left Naruto to wallow in his sorrow about losing his most precious card.

"Why….does life…suck….so hardcore!!" he screamed in his mind.

"Alright….next!"

It was Sasuke's turn. He walked casually over and stood in front of Iruka. Everyone was watching, waiting for him to do a flawless transformation jutsu. But instead, they got something so…completely and utterly horrifying that if I had described it to you, your minds would be scarred for life.

"OH MY GOD!! SASUKE UCHIHA YOU TRANSFORM BACK RIGHT NOW!!" Iruka yelled as she shielded his eyes with his clipboard.

"Ha ha ha!! I scarred your brain for life!!" Sasuke laughed hysterically as he transformed back into himself.

He turned around to go sit back in his seat when suddenly he stopped in his tracks. The whole class, Naruto included since he had gotten over the loss of his URP, was giving him the basilisk death glare Sakura had given just moments before.

"Uh oh."

"Uh oh is right!" Sakura yelled as she clocked him in the face once more.

"Owww!! My face!!"

"Alright Naruto, it's your turn. And please…don't do anything like Sasuke…I'm begging you…."

Naruto stood in front of Iruka.

"Alright…just concentrate, you can do this, it's simple…"

"Transformation jutsu!!"

The transformation turned out somewhat right…except for the fact that Iruka now had blonde hair and whiskers…

"Eh…what the hell close enough. You pass…but barely. Class dismissed."


I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Yes I know...the character's personality traits will become more obvious in the later chapters, I know you cant really tell with what I've written so far, but I'll get on that as soon as I can! Thanks for reading!