Author's Notes: Welcome to 2010!!!! Woooo! I've begun this chapter exactly 2 hours and 38 minutes into the new year. And finishing it about 2 weeks later. Yeah, no, but I'll actually do my best to give you something (as in a physical or soft object – but, yes, actually something) if anyone can spot the Grand Theft Auto: Vice City reference.

Oh, man. I just watched 'The End of Time'. Geronimo? Fuck you, you stupid Doctor Who writers. Oh, dudes. They fucked it up good. Worst casting ever. [Possible spoiler following] Although, whether they realise it or not, they have left a space open for David to come back (meta-crisis Doctor). Not that it's likely... but a girl can dream...

Sorry for the formatting, I don't know how it's turn out when I publish it. It's pretty screwed up here. Oh, jebus, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I just looked over chapter 20 and the formatting of the last paragraph was just.... gah! I have no idea what happened, but let me assure you it was completely accidental and I have absolutely no clue as to why it's like that. I fixed it, though, so now it doesn't make me want to stab my eyes.

Cutting scenes out again, because I'm still lazy. As always, I recommend re-watching the episode so you know what goes on in missing scenes (and to help with visualisation). Check out Planet Gallifrey TV if you haven't already.

Disclaimer: I don't freaking own it, okay?

The Doctor and Magdalena watched as Astrid left, passing a group of first-class passengers laughing at Morvin and Foon Van Hoof in matching purple country-western outfits.

"Seriously, though, what was that all about?" The Doctor asked.

"I told you, I want you to stop being so sexually attracted to people who aren't people I approve of."

"No," He said, "I got that part. Why did you kiss me on the cheek? You're very good at sending strange, confusing, mixed messages."

"Well," Magdalena's voice dropped a few tones and lowered in volume to become a very sexy purr. Her eyes filled with that lustful expression, as if she'd flipped a switch. "I wanted to ward Astrid off."

"So why are you talking like that now?"

"Because she's watching us. Please, just play along. Just let Astrid go."
"Why should I sacrifice my own feelings just because you want me to?" The Doctor felt angry at the concept – being told what to do by a teenager? Not likely.

"I'll probably regret this… but I'll do anything you want me to do. I'll leave and never come back if you want me to. Anything you want me to do, I can do it. That doesn't involve sex or my immediate death." She told him, a determined glint in his eye. He studied her before answering.

"I'll think about it."

She narrowed her eyes slightly and her expression became chaste again. "Fine." She said angrily before stalking off, muttering something that sounding like 'stupid bastard'. He looked after her and sighed before sitting next to Morvin and Foon.

Mr Copper, the ship's resident Earth 'expert' was waiting for the passengers to assemble.

"Red 6-7. Red 6-7. This way, fast as you can." He commanded. The Doctor followed the Van Hoffs as they rushed over, only to be approached by Astrid.

"I got you that drink." She said, offering him the tray.

"And I got you a treat. Come on." He took the tray from her and set it on the table placed conveniently next to them.

"Red 6-7 departing shortly." Mr Copper announced. Out of the corner of his eye, the Doctor saw Magdalena watching him, bordering on glaring at him. He felt the psychic paper pulling at his mind slightly to get his attention. He picked it out of his pocket to read the message 'If you call Astrid a 'plus-one', I'm gonna freaking kill you.' He looked up at Magdalena again. She tilted her head slightly and began walking over to him, putting on an extra sway in her hips for Astrid's benefit.

"Wasn't her hair blonde before?" Astrid asked, confused.

"Yeah, it changes colours. So does her skin. Her body chemistry is... unusual." The Doctor told her. Magdalena wasted no time in entwining her arm with the Doctor's.

"Red 6-7 plus two." The Doctor held the psychic paper up for Mr Copper to see.

"Uh, quickly, sir, and please take three teleport bracelets if you would." Mr Copper replied. Magdalena raised an eyebrow at the Doctor, her meaning not lost on him.

"I'll get the sack." Astrid whispered.

"With any luck." Magdalena said quietly but audibly as the Doctor handed both of them a bracelet.

"To repeat, I am Mr Copper, the ship's historian, and I shall be taking you to old London town in the country of U.K. ruled over by good King Wenceslas. Now human beings worshipped the great god Santa, a creature with fearsome claws, and his wife Mary. And every Christmas Eve the people of U.K. go to war with the country of Turkey. They then eat the Turkey people for Christmas dinner... like savages." Mr Copper announced for the group.

The Doctor and Magdalena looked at each other, frowning slightly. Astrid looked fascinated.

"Excuse me, sorry, sorry, but, um...where did you get all this from?" The Doctor asked.

"Well, I have a first class degree in Earthonomics. Now stand by..."

A high pitched voice interrupted them. "And me! And me! Red 6-7!" A small, spiky red-skinned alien ran up to them.

"Well, take a bracelet, sir." Mr Copper said.

"Uh, but, um, hold on, hold on. What was your name?" The Doctor asked.

"Bannakaffalatta." The red alien said.

"OK, Bannakaffalatta. But it's Christmas Eve down there. Late-night shopping, tons of people. He's like a walking conker. No offence, but you'll cause a riot 'cause the streets are going to be packed with shoppers and parties..." The Doctor began to explain. The group was teleported to Earth to be greeted by an empty street.

"Oh." The Doctor silenced himself when he saw the barren market. Astrid looked around in fascination. As Mr Copper explained a little more about the trip, Magdalena looked around feeling slightly sick. She glanced at the Doctor and felt a wave of anger wash over her. In another life, on Christmas Day, she got booted out of home and turned to the unfriendly streets of Earth. She turned to the Doctor with tears in her eyes.

"I'm gonna go." She told him, slipping off her teleportation bracelet, remembering exactly how she'd felt that day. Words failed to describe exactly what she was feeling. Of course, she didn't remember exactly what had led up to her losing it like that... just what it felt like.

"Are you okay?" He asked her softly. She shook her head and looked down. He touched her arm to get her attention. "What is it?" He asked.

She opened her mouth and tried to form a word before closing it again when words failed her. She took a shaky breath in and tried again. "I'd forgotten what Christmas feels like to me." She bit her lip and looked away from him. "I'm just gonna... I'm going to go back to the ship." She handed him her bracelet. "In my absence, just remember... anything from me if you leave Astrid alone." She cast Astrid a look before she disappeared. Astrid had been studying the exchange from a polite distance. She'd concluded that they shared a connection of some description, but it wasn't sexual or romantic, or really very friendly at all. He was still hers for the taking.

"Oh, god." Magdalena stumbled into the TARDIS, closing the door behind her. She leaned against one of the Y shaped supporting columns. Taking a moment to wipe her eyes and try to rid herself of this horrible feeling inside, she spied the camera the Doctor liked to use to record holographic messages. She sucked in her emotions and turned it on. It took her 20 minutes of trying to figure out what to say before she started recording.

"Hi..." She began slowly. "I don't know when you'll get this... I don't want to know when you get this, so when you watch it, please don't tell me. I suppose I should clear things up a bit. This is being recorded while your on Earth with Astrid. I hope you took my offer." She paused for a second to smile slightly. "I'll be pissed if you didn't. Uh, I've programmed this to only play when I'm not there... so maybe there are other people there... maybe not. I guess you're wondering what the point of this is. See, in the future, I've seen what kind of a man you become without Rose... sometimes you can be fantastic but other times, you're just..." She shook her head when she couldn't find the word. "What's worse is I know what I've seen and how you behave towards me... it's only the beginning. And although you won't completely understand this right now, that prospect is terrifying. It's really, truly horrifying. I don't know exactly what happens but whatever it was made me find a G.E.N.I.E and wish to forget it. You know as well as I do it's hard for a Gallifreyan to forget, but I was obviously quite desperate.

"So I wanted to record this so you know that when she comes back, don't let Rose go. Do everything possible to keep her with you or, in between dodging Reaper attacks, I'll hunt you down and castrate you with a potato peeler." She smiled sweetly. "Don't worry, I'll disinfect it first. Oh, and after you've got Rose back, you have to forget this. I would say you have to forget me, but considering how involved I've become, that might be a bit hard. One day, in the future, you might make the connection and go on a massive guilt trip. Oh, and you're also not allowed to regenerate for another... 20 or 30 odd years. Or preferably, just don't regenerate until your body wears out and you'll die of old age if you don't. Although dying of old age is a perfectly good way to go. I'm just saying." She was about to turn off the camera when the whole TARDIS shook as meteoroids hid the Titanic.


"You all right?" The Doctor asked Astrid after the meteoroids had done their damage.

"I think so." She told him.

"Bad name for a ship." He said. "Either that or this suit is really unlucky." The Doctor knelt to examine one of the stewards, who turned out to be dear.

Ev-everyone... Ladies and gentlemen, Bannakaffalatta, I must apologize on behalf of Max Capricorn Cruiseliners. We seem to have had a small collision." The Chief Steward informed them.

"Small?" Morvin questioned indignantly.

"You know how much I paid for my ticket?" Rickston asked in his usual snobby way.

"If I could have silence, ladies, gentlemen..." The Chief Steward tried to calm them down, only to be ignored as the guests continued arguing.

"Quiet!" He yelled rather more forcefully. "Thank you. I--I'm sure Max Capricorn Cruiseliners will be able to reimburse you for any inconvenience. But first I would point out that we are very much alive."

"Are you all right?" Astrid asked Mr Copper as she helped disinfect the cut on his forehead.

"She is, after all, a fine, sturdy ship. If you could all stay here while I ascertain the exact nature of the -- the situation." The Chief Steward requested. He went to open a hatch.
"Don't open it!" The Doctor yelled at him, but it was too late. The hatch opened and the Chief Steward was sucked into space by the vacuum. The Doctor struggled over to the comms and used the sonic screwdriver to replace the shield.

"Oxygen shield stabilized." A calming female voice announced from the computer.

"Everyone all right? Astrid? M- oh."

Magdalena opened the TARDIS door tentatively. She was... on Earth?
"Oh..." She whispered as she realised the TARDIS had locked onto the nearest centre of gravity to the Titanic. Which would be, obviously, planet Earth. She stepped out onto the deserted street and looked skywards. Walking back into the TARDIS, she closed the door and made her way to the TARDIS wardrobe. Surely there had to be something there to piss Astrid off...

The Doctor, Astrid, Mr Copper, Rickson and the Van Hoffs had battled their way from one deck to another, only to find themselves in another open room which was, thankfully, Host-free.

"Morvin, look, food." Foon pointed out to her husband.

Rickston had a look of disdain upon his face as he said sarcastically "Oh great. Someone's happy.'

"Don't have any then." Morvin brushed him off. As the Doctor communicated with Alonso Frame over the comms, Astrid couldn't help but feel they were being watched.
"Let me know if you find anything." She heard the Doctor say as he took off his glasses. "And keep those engines going!"
Astrid shook off the feeling and picked up a plate of food to take to him. Right before her eyes, Magdalena appeared right next to him and said something to him in a soft, foreign tongue. His back was turned to her, so she couldn't see his reaction, but she heard him reply in the same delicate language. She got the feeling it was something special, something no one else was a part of. Astrid hesitated for a second when she realised what the younger girl was wearing. It was black, short and... tight. Very tight. Enough to make Astrid glance at her own body and feel just the tiniest bit undermined. The girl smiled broadly at that very moment, almost like she'd planned it, and Astrid suppressed a gasp of surprise. Magdalena, she realised, was gorgeous. Sure, Astrid had realised she was pretty before, but something changed when she looked happy. The Doctor took off his jacket and slid it over her shoulders.
"What'd you do that for?" Magdalena asked in English quietly, but loudly enough for Astrid to hear.
"I don't want those men looking at you like that. Why would you get changed, anyway? What you were wearing before was perfectly fine." He said.
She mouthed 'anything' at him and he shook his head in an amused manner.
"You're really stubborn about this, aren't you?"
She nodded. "Yeah."
He paused for a second, as if he was considering something. "Okay. But I expect to be able to redeem that 'anything' whenever I want. Preferably multiple times."
"I look forward to it." She said smiling victoriously. Astrid felt frustrated. She knew there was something she should realise. Something staring her right in the face. A penny waiting to drop. Like it should be blatantly obvious. Something in that girl's smile should be tipping her off... but it wasn't. And the Doctor's comment? 'Anything' at any time, multiple times? Well, Astrid wouldn't touch that comment with a 10-metre pole.


"Saved you some." Astrid finally approached the Time Lord and his companion. "You might be a Time King from Gaddabee but you need to eat."

"Time Lord from Gallifrey." Magdalena said under her breath.

The Doctor shot her a pointed look before focusing on Astrid.

"Thanks." He said, taking the plate and sitting down. Magdalena sat on his knees and Astrid sat opposite them.

"So, you look good for 903." She commented.

"You should see me in the mornings." The Doctor said.

Magdalena laughed quietly. "What are you talking about? We don't sleep at night." She said, enjoying the effect the innuendo had on Astrid. And the Doctor. He choked slightly on whatever alien delicacy he'd been chewing on. Astrid turned slightly pinkish, partially out of embarrassment and partially from anger. That penny she'd been waiting on to drop? Yeah, it was whistling past her ear on its way to the ground. Magdalena was playing her. She was doing it on purpose with the sole intention of subverting the Doctor's attention. She was trying to get a rise out of Astrid and manipulate her into thinking... well. What was more annoying was that she'd realised Astrid had realised and she was still smiling smugly across the table. He put his hand on Magdalena's thigh, about 10 cm above her knee, and Astrid realised that he was part of it, too. Magdalena who, Astrid realised, looked barely 18 at the most had played the Doctor as well.

"Don't say stuff like that." He said softly, trying to save Astrid the embarrassment of seeing one of their fights.

"Why? It's true. We don't sleep at night. Anyway, you started it."


"Uh, 'But I expect to be able to redeem that 'anything' whenever I want. Preferably multiple times.' Remember that?" She said, equally as quietly. A moment of realisation passed over him when he realised what he'd said. Mr Copper joined them.

"Doctor," He said. "It must be well past midnight, Earth time. Christmas Day."

"So it is. Merry Christmas." The Doctor said.

"This Christmas thing, what's it all about?" Astrid asked.

"Long story. I should know, I was there. I got the last room."

"But if the planet's waking up, can't we signal them? They can send up a rocket or something." Mr Copper said.

"They don't have spaceships." Magdalena said.

"No, I read about it. They have shuffles, space shuffles."

"Mr Copper, this degree in Earthonomics,... where's it from?" The Doctor asked. They had to swear not to tell anyone before Mr Copper would answer.

"Mrs Golightly's Happy Travelling University and Dry Cleaners."

They then established that Mr Copper had lied to get his job and if they survived the Host's attack, he'd probably go to jail. They were interrupted by a banging on the door.

"A Host! Move! Come on!" The Doctor commanded as he leapt up, shoving his companion off his lap and rushing to the opposite door. The party joined the Doctor in time to see him use the Sonic Screwdriver to open a door. The door revealed a large open cavity that ran the height of the ship. The only way across the chasm was a makeshift bridge, made from a fallen strut. The engines were running below them.

"Is that the only way across?" Rickston asked.

"On the other hand, it is a way across." The Doctor said.

"The engines are open." Astrid said.

"Nuclear storm drive. Soon as it stops, the Titanic falls." He explained.

"But that thing, it'll never take our weight." Morvin stated.

"You're going last, mate." Rickston sneered.

"It's nitrofine metal. It's stronger than it looks." Magdalena said.

"All the same, Rickston's right. Me and Foon should -- " Morvin said. He went to test his weight on a piece of metal near the edge when the Doctor stopped him.

"Wait! Magda, you go first. You can transport yourself if the metal gives way." The Doctor said.

"Magda? When did that happen?" She asked him.

"Are you really going to leave our lives to a girl?" Rickston sneered.

"What have you got against women? You prefer men, big boy?" Magdalena asked him sharply.

Rickston made a disgusted noise. "I'm not gay!" He protested, as if it was the worst thing in the world.

"Oh, so you're misogynistic and homophobic. Wonderful." She snarked back.

"Stop it. Just go already." The Doctor moved her along. She made a face at him, stepped on a weak piece of metal near the edge and shrieked as she began falling towards the engines. She shifted herself back to safety and slowly tried again.

The Hosts were attacking them as the group tried to cross the makeshift bridge. Morvin and Foon had to stay behind because the bridge wouldn't take their weight.

"Bannakaffalatta stop! Bannakaffalatta proud! Bannakaffalatta, cyborg!" Bannakaffalatta cried before lifting up his shirt and discharging some energy, disabling the Hosts and all except one fell down into the engines. One fell onto the strut behind the Doctor.

"Electromagnetic pulse took out the robotics. Oh, Bannakaffalatta, that was brilliant!" The Doctor praised. Bannakaffalatta fell and Astrid went to him

"He's used all his power!" She declared.

"Did good?" Bannakaffalatta asked.

"You saved our lives." Astrid told him.

"Bannakaffalatta happy."

"We can recharge you, get you to a power point and just plug you in!" Astrid said.

"Too late." Bannakaffalatta told her.

"No, but... you gotta get me that drink, remember?" Astrid said.

"Pretty girl." Bannakaffalatta managed before he died. As Astrid went to button his shirt, Mr Copper reached for his power source.

"I'm sorry. Forgive me."

"Leave him alone." Astrid said.

"It's the EMP transmitter. He -- he'd want us to use it." Mr Copper said as he removed it. "I used to sell these things. They'd always give me a bed for the night in the cyborg caravans. They're good people. But if we can recharge it, we can reuse it as a weapon against the rest of the Host. Bannakaffalatta might have saved us all."

"Do you think?" Rickston asked sarcastically. "Try telling him that." He gestured behind them where the Host that landed on the bridge had started moving.

"Information: reboot." It said.

"Use the EMP!" Rickston yelled.

"It's dead!" Mr Copper yelled back.

"It's gotta have emergency." Astrid said. As she took the EMP from Mr Copper, the Doctor and Magdalena went to confront the Host.

"No, no, no. Hold on. Override loophole security protocol... Ten! 666! Oh. 21, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8. Um, I dunno, 42! Uh, one!" The Doctor commanded. The Host stopped mid-action and stood passively.

"Information: state request."

The Doctor then asked his questions, finding out that the Hosts were meant to kill all witnesses and that destroying the Earth was the plan. Unfortunately, he also used his three questions and had no other way of stalling the Host.

"Information:" The Host said. "Now you will die."

As the Host prepared to strike the Doctor, a lasso was thrown over its head and tightened by Foon. She pulled hard, making the Host lose its balance and fall over. The Doctor and Magdalena kicked it over the edge as Foon let go of the rope. The group made it across, but had to leave Morvin and Foon behind.


While Mr Copper was finding a way of sending out an SOS and Rickston was opening the next door, the Doctor showed Astrid how to recharge the EMP and Magdalena leaned threateningly against the wall, looking unusually small in the Doctor's tuxedo jacket.

"When it's ready, that blue light comes on there." The Doctor told Astrid.

"You're talking as if you're not coming with us." Astrid said.

"There's something down on Deck 31. I'm gonna find out what it is."

"What if you meet a Host?" Astrid asked.

"Well, then I'll just... have some fun, eh?"

"Sounds like you do this kind of thing all the time."

"Not by chance. All I do is travel. That's what I am, just a traveller. Imagine it. No tax, no bills, no boss, just the open sky." The Doctor told her,

"I'm sort of...unemployed now and I was thinking the blue box is kinda small, but I could kinda squeeze in. Like a stowaway." Astrid suggested.

"It's not always safe."

"So you need someone to take care of you. I've got no one back on Sto, no family, just me. So what do you think? Can I come with you?" Astrid's eyes were full of hope and excitement. Then the Doctor spied his young companion leaning against the wall with a strange expression on her face. Like she was tired, angry and lost all at the same time. She looked like a little girl for a second, with that 'scared and confused' look used in cartoons all the time on her face.

"No." The Doctor told her. "It wouldn't be fair to..." To who? To Rose? Magdalena? He wasn't sure, but Astrid followed his gaze to Magdalena who looked uncomfortable under her scrutiny.

"Who is she, Doctor?"

"She's my... companion, I guess."

"Is it worth it, Doctor? Her happiness over your own?" Astrid asked. "Is she worth it?"

The Doctor felt a pull of paternal protectiveness as he remembered being John Smith, hearing her call him 'father'.

"Yes." The Doctor answered. "You have no idea what she's gone through, Astrid. Maybe just... ease off a bit, at least when she's around." Before Astrid could reply, the ship lurched which prompted the Doctor to stand and speak into the comms.

"Mr Frame, you still with us?" The Doctor asked.

"It's the engines, sir." Alonso Frame answered from the Bridge. "Final phase. There's nothing more I can do. We've got only eight minutes left!" And oh, what an 8 minutes they would be.


The Doctor tricked the Host into taking him to Deck 31 unharmed when he met Max Capricorn, the name behind the cruise line. Capricorn revealed his plan. It was revenge for the board kicking him out of his own company. The board members would get thrown in jail for mass murder, while he could retire peacefully. His own containment chamber would protect him from the blast and his friends were just waiting to pick him up. Unbeknownst to him, Astrid had teleported herself with the teleportation bracelet to Deck 31, and was hidden away watching as the scene unfolded.

"So that's the plan." The Doctor said. "A retirement plan. 2000 on this ship, 6 billion underneath us, all of them slaughtered. And why? Because Max Capricorn is a loser."

"I never lose." Capricorn boasted.

"You can't even sink the Titanic."

"Oh, but I can, Doctor. I can cancel the engines from here." Capricorn told him as alarms began wailing.

"You can't do this!"

"Host, hold him." Capricorn demanded. Two Hosts held the Doctor by the arms and pulled him away. Capricorn ordered the Hosts to kill the Doctor, and one Host removed his halo getting ready to follow its orders.

"Mr Capricorn!" Astrid called from her seat in the forklift. "I resign." She started the forklift and sped towards Capricorn. She lifted up the front of Capricorn's life support just enough so the front tires had no traction. His back tires still had enough grip to cause a standoff. The Host that was about to kill the Doctor used its halo to throw at Astrid instead, but missed and hit something else.

"He's cut the break line!" The Doctor yelled. Astrid, determined, raised the fork higher, lifting Capricorn completely off the ground and accelerated. They both went over the edge.

"Astrid!" The Doctor cried and ran to the edge to see Astrid falling towards the engines, her hands reaching for him.

Up in the Bridge, Alonso Frame tried to control the falling ship. In the reception Rickston, Mr Copper and Magdalena held onto various pieces of furniture, clinging on for dear life. Morvin and Foon clung to each other as the ship sped towards Earth.

The Doctor used the Hosts to get up to the Bridge. He and Alonso then proceeded to use the heat generated from the re-entry to start the secondary storm drive (although not without their fair share of amusing banter).

"We made it." Alonso said, relieved.

"Not all of us." The Doctor said, referencing Bannakaffalatta and Astrid. He paused. "Teleport! She was wearing a teleport bracelet!" He rushed out the door, Alonso in trail. They ran into the Reception, where Morvin, Foon, Rickston, Mr Copper and Magdalena were awaiting him.

"Rickston! Sonic!" The Doctor demanded. Rickston threw him the sonic screwdriver. "Mr Copper, the teleports, have they got emergency settings?"

"I don't know. They should have." Mr Copper told him.

"She fell, Mr Copper. She fell. What's the emergency code?"

"Uh, let me see..."

"What the hell are you doing?" Alonso asked.

"We can bring her back." The Doctor said as he worked on the teleport.

"If a passenger has an accident on shore leave and they're still wearing their teleport, their molecules are automatically suspended and held in stasis so that we can just trigger the shift." Mr Copper explained.

"There!" The Doctor cried as he finished. He turned around. A transparent Astrid stood behind him.

"I'm falling." She said. The Doctor tried to bring her through fully, but the teleport was too damaged to solidify Astrid.

"There's no enough left." Mr Copper said softly. "The system was too badly damaged. She's just atoms, Doctor. An echo with the ghost of consciousness. She's stardust."

"No!" The Doctor protested. "I can- I can save her." He looked around wildly before spying Magdalena. "You!" He yelled, pointing at her. Her eyes widened in surprise. "You can reverse time. You can save her. I know you can."

She just kept staring at him.
"Please." He begged her. "This is my anything. It doesn't involve sex or death. Please. You promised."

"I've never- I've never tried to... without anything to focus on..." She said slowly. "It might not work. I'm gonna get sick."

"I don't care." The Doctor said.

"She's not coming with us. I don't care what she does, but she's not coming with us."

"Okay, fine! Fine!" The Doctor agreed. Magdalena hesitated for a moment before beginning. Slowly, Astrid's figure became solid. Astrid stumbled forward slightly as she walked towards the Doctor. Upon reaching him, she hugged him, a gesture he returned with vigour.


The Doctor, Magdalena and Mr Copper teleported to Earth, leaving the other survivors to wait for the rescue ship. Mr Copper was currently getting a crash course in Earth geography.

"So, Great Britain is part of, uh, "Europee" and just across the British Channel you've got Great France and Great Germany."

"No, no, it's just -- it's just France and Germany. Only Britain is great." The Doctor corrected.

"Oh, and they're all at war with the continent of Ham-erica?"

"No, well...not yet, uh...could argue that one." The group arrived at the TARDIS. "There she is. Survive anything."

"You know, between you and me, I don't even thing this snow is real. I think this is the ballast from the Titanic's salvage entering the atmosphere." Mr Copper suggested.

The Doctor looked up. "Yeah. One of these days it might snow for real."

"So, I -- I suppose you'll be off."

"The open sky." The Doctor told him.

"And, uh, what about me?" Mr Copper asked.

"Give me that credit card." The Doctor said.

"Well, it's just petty cash, spending money. It's all done by computer. I -- I didn't really know the currency so I thought a million might cover it."

"A million? Pounds?" The Doctor asked.

"That enough for trinkets?"

"Mr Copper, a million pounds is worth 50 million credits." The Doctor told him.

"How much?" Mr Copper asked, flabbergasted.

"50 million and 56."

"I -- I've got money!" Mr Copper declared.

"Yes, you have." The Doctor said as he handed the card back.

"Oh my word. Oh my vot! Oh my goodness me! I – Ya-ha!"

"It's all yours -- Planet Earth. Now that's a retirement plan. But just you be careful, though."

"I will. I will. Oh, I will." Mr Copper assured the Doctor.

"No interfering. I don't want any trouble. Just...just have a nice life."

"But I can have a house, a proper house, with a garden, and -- and a door, and...Oh, Doctor, I will made you proud." Mr Copper hugged the Doctor. "And -- and I can have a kitchen with chairs, and windows, and lace..." He skipped off, laughing happily.

"Um, where are you going?" The Doctor asked.

"Why," Mr Copper began, chuckling. "I have no idea!"

"No, me neither." The Doctor said as he unlocked the TARDIS. "Merry Christmas, Mr Copper." The Doctor ushered Magdalena, who'd remained silent and stoic since she brought Astrid back, into the TARDIS. He began piloting the TARDIS, noticing that Magdalena hadn't automatically joined him as she usually did.

"Something wrong?" He asked her. She focused her fuzzy gaze on him. She opened her mouth very slightly, a small stream of blood issuing from the corner and shook her head, moaning in pain.

In Memory of


1935 - 2007

A/N: Who is Verity Lambert? No idea. It's just that the episode had that at the end, and I thought it'd be nice to slide it in there. So, I'm probably going away tomorrow (meaning later today), so I pushed myself to finish this before I go. Stupid parents. Can't let me stay home with my brother (he's 18 and I'm only a few years younger than him). Nope, doesn't matter that I already had plans. They do this every holidays. Unless I warn them several months in advance. Next chapter's actually gonna be original work (oh my!).