Well, this is the end. Thanks so much to everyone who have reviewed-it means so much. I'm much better at writing angst then fluff so I hope this chapter is okay. And it's dedicated to my friend Rebecca who wanted them to tango, not have sex.
Jack sat in silence with Ianto snuggled up close to him.
"This is boring." Jack grouched. It had been Ianto's choice of film but he knew that neither of them were watching it anyway; they were just waiting for someone to start talking.
"I guess it is." Ianto agreed. "Why did the others go? I very much doubt that they all had plans…"
"They…uh, they wanted to leave you alone with me. You scared them all." Jack said gently. Ianto closed his eyes.
"I understand why it happened but I don't understand…"
"Why can I still feel the hatred for myself?" Ianto asked, his voice tiny, tears welling up in his beautiful eyes.
"Do you still hate the rest of us?" Jack asked, playing for time as he wondered what to say.
"No. The memories are still there, but the forgiveness and everything else has overpowered the hatred I felt for you."
Jack kissed him then, longing for the feeling of Ianto inside him. Ianto kissed him back passionately but refusing to allow it to go any further until he understood. Jack sighed to himself.
"I don't know why you still feel that…self hatred. I guess…I guess you always had it, that nagging feeling of guilt. Am I right?"
"It got better." Ianto said slowly. "After I had to kill, with Torchwood. And all the while I knew it was an accident and that I did the right thing telling the Police and everything, so I kind of buried the self hatred away. And I hated everyone after Lisa, especially myself…" Jack held him tight.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry you had to lose her again, and relive all your worst memories without the good times there as well. The good times are what keeps us going…" Ianto nodded and sniffed, drying his eyes on Jack's greatcoat.
"He was trying to help me." Ianto said. "It was a good time; I was happy right before it happened. That's why I didn't remember the…circumstances." He laughed sourly. Jack stroked his hair tenderly, encouraging Ianto to continue. "We were playing football. I don't know why. I was apologising. It was his store I shoplifted from. And he was all kind and everything so we started kicking the ball around. But…"
"But?" Jack prompted him, his hand rubbing Ianto's back soothingly.
"But I still felt really bitter. So I kicked the ball extra hard. It wasn't my fault; it was an accident that he moved so it hit him right on the chest but I knew it would hurt. And I couldn't stop myself." He looked down but Jack caught his chin and cupped it in his hand.
"You did the right thing. You waited with him. You felt guilty, and that's the most important thing. And, like you say, you didn't mean it to happen, right?"
Ianto nodded. "I guess."
"You sound unconvinced."
"Everyone blamed me, there just wasn't enough evidence or what have you to convict me. I just got an official warning and my parents were told to watch me. Being accepted like you just accepted me is…odd."
Jack pulled him closer. "And I'm not…odd?"
"My kind of odd." Ianto teased.
"You hated me." Jack suddenly said. "That killed me, Yan. You didn't know how you could ever love me."
"I was stupid."
"No. That was still you. How you could have been…" Jack shuddered. "That could have been you."
"Without your influence." Ianto acknowledged. "Guess it was a good thing you gave me that job, then?"
"You looked good in that suit. You still do."
"I know. You tell me often enough…"
"Yeah, but it gains a different meaning when you know I love you."
Ianto smiled and kissed Jack. "I used to think there could never be another girl for me."
"Are you saying I'm a girl?" Jack demanded, pretending to be hurt.
"I never considered going with guys." Ianto admitted.
"What? But you're so good at it-"
"I learnt from you."
"Ah, that can happen." Jack nodded. "I'm not trying to replace Lisa. I'm a whole different person. A different love."
"A different love." Ianto echoed. Jack smiled and kissed him, his hands stroking Ianto's hair.
"Let's get up." Jack encouraged.
"Sex addict, Jack."
"What?" Ianto asked, confused.
"I want this relationship to be more then that. I don't just want sex. I want love."
"You've got that. You'll always have that. So what do I need to get up for?"
"This." Jack smiled as he pressed a button on his watch. Music started up, dancing music that filled the room with its lively beat.
"Let's tango." Jack announced. Ianto sniggered.
"Tango? I can't tango…"
"Trust me, you can." Jack took Ianto and carefully moved him into the right position. "So you do this…yeah, that's right, then this…" carefully he showed Ianto what to do.
"I get it." Ianto nodded. They worked well together, their bodies automatically responding to each other as they danced. When the song finished Jack took Ianto into his arms as Glen Miller started up.
"Now this is another kind of dancing altogether…" he murmured. "Works best outdoors…somewhere high up, but this will do…"
"Rooftops?" Ianto laughed.
"No. Big Ben." Jack grinned.
"This is…impossibly romantic." Ianto sighed as they swayed together. Jack kissed him again, filling Ianto with lust and love.
"Come on." Jack said as the song ended.
"What? No waltz?" Ianto asked.
"Trust me…what's coming next is better then any dancing."
"So the lure of sex finally got you?"
"We are never just going to shag, Yan. We are going to make love, and you are going to love it."
"How can I not love being with you?"
"A few hours ago, you didn't." Jack whispered. Ianto sighed.
"A few hours ago, I wasn't myself. I love you. I will always love you. I'm dreading you meeting my mum but, right now, there's no-one I'd rather be with."
Jack nodded. "Don't leave me." He asked. He knew it was an ironic request coming from him but he had to ask.
"Don't leave me." Ianto said.
"I've seen the Doctor now Yan and I thought that being with him would be better then being here. But with him, all I could think about was you. So I came back."
"Enough talking." Ianto instructed. He forced Jack down and lifted his greatcoat gently off his back.
"God, Ianto, I missed you so much…" Jack groaned. He kissed Ianto and led him into the next room, where a bed was waiting.
There was still more to be said, a team to comfort and bonds to be remade. But for now, none of that mattered. Love came first, always, and it would never come last. Because love-this love-would never end.
I couldn't find a way to finish it but I think I got it right (eventually). Thanks to everyone again-I love you all!