Sorry for the long wait again… it's been busy here. I hope you like the update just the same. It wasn't planned out or anything, just inspired all of a sudden and thought I'd go for it : )

Dove, by Castledoor

we're leaving with an open mindwe're leaving cause the cities we've lived in don't shine

so now it's to the other side

we're following a dove who found the sign of life

stay, will you stay constantly

will you stay with me

and all the places we'll go

we don't have to know

every song doesn't have to rhyme

and every step that we take isn't on a tightrope

so don't look down before you dive

the bottom of the dream is what takes us up so high

stay, will you stay constantly

will you stay with me

pack it up, pack it up we're leaving

with you i'll always stay

no matter what it's something to believe in

with you i'll always stay

and all the places we'll go

we don't have to know

we're going where

where the wind will steer

we're going where

we can beat our fears

we're going where

we'll make some babies and teach them how to love

we're going where

there's the largest zoo

we're going where

all our friends can be too

we're going where

we have no choice but to open our doors with love

lets open the doors

pack it up, pack it up we're leaving

with you i'll always stay

no matter what it's something to believe in

with you i'll always stay

and all the places we'll go

we don't have to know

I froze. What did he just say? I turned towards him, my eyes staring into his, searching… had I heard him right?


Was my immediate answer. Of course I thought that in my head. But could I really say yes to this? Of course I could… but responsibly, realistically… could I say yes? I had to think this through. Even though my automatic, instinctual, gut answer was positive- I had to think it through. It wouldn't be right to blurt out the first thing that came to mind and give him an answer if I would be forced to take it back later.

So quickly, I ran through all the possible things in my mind that should stop me saying yes to Edward.

One: my job. Alice had said something that she had gotten me some time off work- but that couldn't be more than a week or two… and if I went with Edward, my job may very well not be here when I get back…

Two: Charlie. What would he think? What would he say? I've never so much as said a guy was cute in his presence before. How in the hell was I supposed to tell him I was leaving with my boyfriend to go on tour? HIS tour! Btw dad, he's the lead singer. Isn't that sweet or what??

No. definitely not the right way to go about that.

Three: my friends… well, Alice and Jasper. I'm sure they'd be supportive. Maybe even encourage I go… but could I really live without them? They were my best friends… of course I could always call. But it's not like I'd be lonely. I'd have Edward… but he can't possibly always be there every second by my side… and even when he would be- I wasn't too sure about how I would fit in with the rest of the group… Emmett I could possibly handle… but Rosalie… and not to mention all the miscellaneous tour people like Tanya… thinking about it now, they all seemed scary. I'd definitely feel a little lost and lonely without Alice by my side.

But Edward.

Edward would be enough, wouldn't he?

For a brief second, I wondered if I were the one touring, the one in a band, he'd do this for me wouldn't he? He wouldn't be a baby and consider not going just because he was afraid of the scary, crazy intimidating blonde chick in the band.

One, two, three…

Wait a minute… were there really only three reasons as to why I should say no? that's it? I went back in my head and counted them all out again. Same number. Surely I missed one..

I have to be missing one. There has to be more, serious reasons why I have to say no to him…

But there wasn't. all that stood in the way were my fears, insecurities, and boring day job.

And when I realized that- I realized I was an idiot. How stupid of me. And here I was, keeping Edward waiting…

So without so much as another thought- I saw all the faces of the people here, my friends, Charlie, my boss, my coworkers, my regular customers at the coffee shop, even Rosalie and Tanya…

And mentally told them sorry.

Because I'm going. I'm saying,


"What?" Edward asked almost immediately as I got the word out. His facial expression hadn't changed much from the previous moment when we were frozen and staring at each other.

"Uhm… I'm saying… yes. Okay. I'd like to go on tour with you… if.. If you're serious?… Wait… are you serious???" for a second I panicked, my heart hammering like a rabbit's. fear taking over. Humiliation. Was his question even a reality? For him? Would he be allowed to bring me along?…

"Yes!" he shouted, obviously coming back to life. He was blinking his eyes and had this baffled look on his face like he couldn't imagine anything more preposterous. He cleared his throat, clearly embarrassed by his outburst and show of enthusiasm. He took my hands in his as he settled down. I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing or smiling too big. "Bella- I- are you sure? Really? I've been wanting to ask for hours! But I couldn't bring myself to do it! Are you serious? Really? Are you serious?" for some reason he kept asking if I were serious… I found it hilarious.

"Yes, Edward, I'm serious." I nodded, smiling brightly. His eyes gleamed with a cautious excitement and I watched as his green orbs scanned my face for any traces of foul play. I just grinned at him and let him realize on his own I really was serious. It took a second longer than I thought it would, but eventually, he straightened up, still eyeing me, but I could see that he was starting to accept my answer as truth. I wasn't playing with him. I don't know how he could think I was the one messing around, when he's the one who asked the outrageous question. He opened his mouth to say something but then clamped his jaw shut. His brows furrowed skeptically one last time, before he finally relaxed and leaned into me, settling on no words to show he accepted my answer. His returning response was to kiss me at the corner of my mouth as I sat completely still.

When he pulled away, he let his eyes gaze into mine. For a seemingly long moment I looked back, eyes alight and amusement still playing lightly on my lips. After a time, I simply stood, holding my hand out to Edward for him to follow. He got up and took my hand as I went into the house and went looking for a suitcase.


When the tour bus pulled up into the drive way in front of my house, Edward and I were already waiting by the curb- my bags packed and neatly piled together on the sidewalk next to us.

The bus door swung open and descending from the stairs was Emmett and I was briefly reminded of an alien spaceship sending down a messenger from the mother ship to the life forms on earth. Not that Emmett was alien-like.

"So- ready….to… go?" Emmett's tone became increasingly puzzled as he eyed the scene before him. He looked at my bags, and then raised his eyes to Edward, quirking his eyebrow with a silent question.

Edward wasn't discreet, coy, or sly about anything. When I looked at him, as interested as Emmett was to see his answer, I was surprised to find that he had a sort of prideful look about him. Edward sighed a calming, relieving breath, with his hands on his hips contentedly as he met Emmett's questioning gaze with assurance and- happiness. Most of all happiness. A quiet, yet electric, enthusiastic, happiness that brimmed just below the surface of his calm demeanor, pulsing with an alive current just beneath his skin. I stared at him in silence, examining and analyzing his every gesture.

"Bella's gonna be coming on the road with us." Edward spoke with a satisfied crooked grin. Emmett's eyes didn't loose their questioning look. If anything he just seemed more surprised.

Finally, Emmett looked towards me, as if he was expecting me to confirm Edward's statement, which I did, with a small, shy, but nonetheless happy smile.

"Uh, Edward… that's… great and all… but don't you think- I mean, no offense to Bella or your guys' relationship or judgment…I'm not trying to say you have bad judgment… but.. Don't you think that's a little rash?" he shifted uncomfortably. It was weird seeing Emmett seemingly out of his comfort zone like this. I could tell since the short time I've known him he isn't one to get into other people's business- but when he felt the need to speak up, it was a little awkward for him to do so. I have to say I wasn't mad at Emmett for bringing that up- our decision- mine and Edward's- was fairly hurried. But it was supposed to be. Was there anything wrong with that? I was sick of doing what was expected of me, sick of sticking to the ordinary because that's all I knew. I could see in Emmett's face he wondered if this was safe, if this was really a good idea- maybe he was concerned for Edward, maybe he was concerned for me- maybe he saw this ending badly- but in any relationship, in anything in life isn't the same thing also true? No one knows the future. And if you didn't do something because you didn't know how it would end up- you'd never do anything.

But still, I could tell Emmett only had the best of intentions.

Edward, on the other hand, his face had changed to one of contained, calm happiness to sudden anger. Maybe even offended.

"Rash- you mean like when we were looking for another bassist and we found Rosalie and then you decided to go and make her your girlfriend? Mixing business and pleasure, that sort of thing? Or how James used to pick up girls from different cities and drop them off wherever he felt like it just because he got tired of them? You think this is a bad decision, just like that?" Edward snapped. He kept his tone level, raising it just a range louder than he would normally talking, but his expression and tone were enough to convey he was angry- and I could tell from looking at his face that there was a whole 'nother history going on there that I didn't know about. I imagine Edward was going back to the years, all the time that he's been the odd one out. The seemingly perpetual single one, watching as everyone around him, on tour, and even in his band, made their own decisions, without ever consulting him, without ever seeing what he thought about it. And I could imagine how frustrating that could be. In the end, everyone does what they want in their own life, on their own time. Behind closed doors what they did was their own business- and here was Edward- doing nothing wrong by them- and Emmett was seemingly trying to make him rethink that.

"No, Edward it's not like that at all-" Emmett immediately tried to retract his implication, but Edward was already on his way to grill him for it-

"then what is it? What are you trying to say?…"


… I'm not allowed to make my own life decisions? Everyone else seems to do whatever the fuck they want but I can't bring my respectable girlfriend on tour with me?"

I had separated myself from Bella as I pulled Emmett by the arm to the backside of the bus, still visible to Bella although Emmett was hidden in shadows. I didn't want her to hear this. I didn't want her to know what was the big problem. I would tell her later it was more about me than her- of course Bella wasn't the actual problem. It was just the idea of me and suddenly going so out of character to them. The idea of me being involved with anyone, especially Bella, seemed dangerous to them. Deciding to bring her with us- possibly long term- was something I could now see they would take warily. I have to admit, I didn't exactly expect this from them. (I say 'them' because even though Emmett's the only one who technically knows about my decision, the rest will all just fall in line. If one can see the problem, they all will and agree). They might think it strange, seeing as this is new to them. Just the other day I was the sullen, cynical, virginal intellectual who seemingly didn't take an interest in anyone. And literally, within hours that all changed and the change was only a few days old now. I guess no one really wants to see their friend, their band mate's, first relationship blossom and die right before their very eyes. After all, who's ever heard of finding the ever lasting love of your life the very first time around? So I can see how taking Bella on tour could be frightening to them. They're already looking for it to end badly.

But they don't know my relationship like I know my relationship. Quite frankly they don't know Bella…

And the warm, strange, very alive, ever changing, ever moving feeling growing deep inside me, originating somewhere behind my rib cage and emanating through my chest towards her. That feeling was starting to grow a voice. And the voice was getting louder and stronger every second it was alive. I was starting to be able to hear it more clearly in my head, commanding my actions, coming into my thoughts, particularly about Bella, before anything else could be considered. It was starting to scare me. I could feel I was very close to learning its name.

But beside all that, even though I could understand them, I hadn't exactly expected Emmett to challenge me on it. I thought they would bite their tongues, just like I did for everyone of them, and let me do what I wanted to do with my life. My personal life. My life regarding Bella.

She's all I have, so let me have it.

"What?" Emmett blurted, his eyes confused, brows furrowed.

"Hm?" I hummed, irritatingly, barely sparing him a glower.

"she's all you have. So let you have it."

"What?"… I was the one who blurted this time. My heart racing as my mind figured out what just happened without my consenting to do so. I wanted to be saved the humiliation. I must have spoken that one thought out loud… for Emmett to be able to repeat it and all..

"You say she's all you have…" Emmett muttered, looking away. "That right there, makes me a little scared for you."

"Why do you say that?"

"I'm not sure it's healthy… to want someone that bad. To still want someone that bad even after you have her."

His words were as if he shoved me two steps back- and they did. My eyes widened in shock. Maybe it was a little dangerous to be so consumed with Bella. Maybe a little unhealthy on some point. But I would still never go back. As long as she'll have me.

"Emmett… all I'm going to say is- let me do this. It's my life. It's Bella's life. I asked and she said yes. How am I ever supposed to know if none of you let me try? Why is it I can have a careless hook up with Tanya but when I actually want to be with a woman you all go into this skeptical, doubting, protective mode? What are you trying to prove me wrong about?"

Emmett shifted his gaze to the trees far off and sighed. "You're right. I'm sorry. I just saw her bags all packed and ready to go and it surprised me. You've been… by yourself for a while… it's just a big change. A fast change. You can have my word I'll try to make everyone else be okay with you doing this. You've always let us fuck up our lives."

"that's not what I'm doing." I chuckled soundlessly.

"You never know." was all he said.



When Edward and Emmett came back from behind the bus I stood up, as if waiting for the verdict. Edward gave me a small, half smile. Something about him seemed defeated, and yet he picked up my bags to load into the under compartment of the tour bus. I kept a small duffle bag with me to carry on for the night. I looked at Emmett, he smiled exuberantly as if nothing had ever happened. As if my arrival was a warm welcoming.

"So you think you have what it takes to be a rock star???" he teased with a shit eating grin.

"Um, no. Just to date one." I answered with a breathless, nervous laugh. Edward turned around from packing my bags to give me a pleased, amused smile. The sight made my heart stop for a second.

"Oooh, good answer." Emmett winked.

When the bags were all put away, Edward appeared at my side, suddenly tall and protective, and yet at the same time as I felt like he was trying to protect me, support me going into this seemingly intimidating direction, I felt as if I were the one shielding him. There was something in the line of his mouth, the fixed line of sight of his eyes that made me think he was already imaging the face of an opposer. As if there could be someone to oppose this. What we had. What Edward and I shared.

But then the door of the bus opened as Emmett jumped up ahead, disappearing into the darkness. Edward let me go in front of him, his hand reassuringly (or was it out of need for support?) on the small of my back, his other hand clasped tightly and warmly in my hand.

The first thing that happened was I heard a voice.

"What took so long!? Finally. What's his problem, he couldn't say bye to his little piece of ass he's been squeezing these last couple days?" she finished off her statement with a wicked burst of laughter. I could see her blonde hair, even in the dim light. Emmett looked back, embarrassed, trying to cover the sight of Edward and I standing in the doorway to his girlfriend. But she saw.

"Oh…" Rosalie's eyes widened, her expression one not of embarrassment or shame, just surprise. "he brought the girl with him…" her tone drifted off with a mean, teasing lilt.

The second thing that happened was Edward stood behind me, we were both fully inside now but my hand rested on the step railing. Rosalie and Emmett were in the aisle of the bus. She was staring us down, and I was reminded of an old fashioned cowboy duel in the wild west. Who would draw their gun first? Rosalie had unknowingly made the challenge clear, but that didn't mean she was retracting her words.

Edward put his hands firmly on my hips, gripping them, gripping and getting a hold of as much flesh as he could. My t-shirt was starting to ride up slightly at the sides where he made a possessive place for his hands. When I looked up, his eyes were glinting with a threat, squinting slightly, his brows knitted inward, he didn't break his gaze with Rosalie.

"That's right. She's staying with me. I thought it would be nice to have something pretty to look at on this bus for a change."

Somewhere, in the distance, I could hear their bus driver and tour manager stifling laughter. I could sense the insult Edward had just given in the air- but didn't stick around in it for long.

With his hands still on me, Edward guided me past Rosalie and Emmett (who was pretending to be deaf).

We made our way to the back of the dark bus. When I looked up at him with concern (because surely Rosalie was going to kick my ass now or get me while they were all sleeping) I only saw humor alight in his eyes. He had an arrogant, satisfied grin on his face and an evil mischievousness at the back of his eyes. I didn't know what I was going to say. I thought my problems with Rosalie were over with- that when she helped me with the whole Tanya issue that we were good… but maybe she never forgot about the misunderstanding with Mike, or the completely innocent encounter with Jacob, the volunteer… I had all these questions, worries, but Edward placed a single finger on my lips.

"I would have said beautiful, but I wanted to keep it short and sweet." he grinned. I let out a laugh along with my breath.

"Edward, she's going to hate me now- for sure."

"What does it matter? You're not here for anyone else. You're my piece of ass, remember?" he whispered teasingly as he bent down to my ear, that grin still on his face. He chuckled soundlessly, his hands going back to my waist.

I knew he was joking, trying to ease the tension by making fun of Rosalie and repeating her words, but I just couldn't let him get away with it.

"Yours? I'm a piece of ass to you now?" I cocked an eyebrow. Not sparing a smile or any trace of humor as I backed up to get a better look at him. I could see his expression fall, his face a look of regret, almost utterly sorry, which sort of broke my heart a little bit. But I was in an evil, teasing mood and was feeling a bit mean, just as he had teased me a second ago.

"What? No… Bella… I was just- those were Rosalie's words, not min-"

I cut him off, with a finger on his lips, my eyes on them as I traced the outline of his mouth lightly. When I looked back up to his eyes, my gaze was decidedly punishing.

"Just for that- you're not touching me for the rest of the week."

And as if to say goodbye to contact for the time being, I trailed my hand from his mouth to his chest, down to his abdomen, underneath his flimsy shirt, and down. All the way down until I reached his belt buckle, where there I decided to dart just past the barrier of his pants. I dipped my hand inside, just past the elastic of his boxer briefs. My palm was flat against the hard surface of his stomach, his navel not far above. At my fingers I could feel the light dusting of hair that was his happy trail. I placed my other hand demandingly at the small of his back, pressing myself flush against him as my hand followed that trail of hair back up his abdomen and up his chest under his shirt. I snickered in spite as I caught eyes with him and shook my head. His eyes were pleading, his mouth softly agape with the question of reconsideration. His hand made a grab for my wrist but I pulled away with one last drag of my hand.

"Maybe you shouldn't have invited me along, after all."

The more reviews I get the faster I'll be able to update! I get busy but I'd like to update more often. But thanks for reading and reviewing, I hope it was okay. Let me know what you guys think : )