"Hey." He says smiling at me. My lungs falter when his dark eyes meet my golden ones.


"Oh hey." I greet him nervously.

Why has this been happening lately?

Why has Kyouya been nice to me lately?

Why am I so happy about that?

My heart shouldn't speed up with every look at him. My lungs shouldn't hitch in my chest when he stands near me. My eyes shouldn't search for him when I enter a room. My body shouldn't be aching to touch his.

But it does.


We're both guys this shouldn't be happening.

Maybe I'm—

No. I'm not that. I'm not. I'm a normal boy. I'm normal.

But why then?

Why are my palms sweating as he walks toward me?

Why is my mouth a dry desert as he pushes up his glasses and continues to come closer?

Why did I turn on my heel and dart from the room once his hand fell upon my shoulder?

Why am I running from the very thing I want to be with most?

Why is my heart crashing against my rib cage as I settle into this abandon hallway?

Why did my face heat up and my heart skip with glee when his hand touched my shoulder?

I'm gay.

No! I cant be! I'm not one of them! That whole thing with Hikaru… that's an act! I like girls. GIRLS! G! I! R! L! S! Not boys. Not Kyouya.

Then why?

I-I don't know why! But I'm not gay… I'm not! I'm not gay.



Fear rocked through me as I tried to associate that word with me.

No. I can't be… there is no way. That brotherly love act… I… I'm just a really good actor that's all.

That's all.


Oh my god.

I am.

I am gay.

I pull my knees to my chest and weep.

I'm gay.


That's when I hear footsteps coming toward the very place where I have discovered this horrifying truth.

The footsteps are loud now, but I can barley hear them over my sobs.

They stop.

The person is next to me.

But don't care to look up.

"Kaoru." The voice says breathlessly, I know that voice anywhere.


My lungs stopped and my sobs froze.


There goes my heart again, crashing loudly in my chest.

Kyouya's here! My heart yells in glee.

Kyouya's here. My fear cries.

I can't believe I'm gay.

I'm so scared.

I'm scared of my feelings.

I'm scared when Kyouya tilts up my chin and sees my tear stained face.

I'm scared when he tells me that it's okay and that he knows how I'm feeling.

I'm scared when he flashes his gorgeous smile and he wipes my tears.

I'm sacred that I think his smile is gorgeous.

I hate that my heart is beating faster with every passing moment.

I hate I can't help this feeling.

I hate that he's a guy.

I'm terrified when he tells me not to be afraid.

I'm terrified that I love him.

But the most terrifying thing happens when his lips meet mine and I accept that… I'm gay.


This was done for Tranquillezza's Phobia challenge on S.H.I.N.E. SHINE is such a cool place :) Join xD

I chose Homophobia as you could see xDD I thought of the idea when I had an hour of free time after my english final :DD

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