Stupid, this was just bloody stupid! Why was she nearly in tears over that silly man? She hadn't had a man in decades and now here she was near tears because one man, just ONE man, asked her for a stupid kiss. Why did she have to be so stubborn? Why did she have to be so un-bending towards her own values and beliefs? Why couldn't she sell herself out for a meaningless encounter?
Jenna fumed as she continued to curse herself, her aunt, and Trip over and through hell. She was going to sit and cool off in her room then after she was done cooling off she would start creating another dreamscape. She needed some time and space away from Trip—that would be the most mentally and emotionally healthy move on her part. Jenna punched the wall of her quarters on her way in, relishing the pain that wracked through her knuckles from the harsh punishment done to them. Pain was welcome at this point. Anything that distracted her from her inner wants and desires that she now knew would never come to fruition.
She paced around her quarters, cursing in the few languages that she knew other than her mother tongue. She felt like a trapped…what was it the humans called it…LIONESS yes that was it! She felt like a trapped lioness. She needed to get out, to breathe, and to stretch but she couldn't. She was trapped in these dreamscapes with nothing and no one, except one person who didn't even want or appreciate being there. Jenna growled and punched the wall again and again, not even noticing when blood started spotting the wall.
Suddenly arms reached around her body and grabbed hold of her wrists, jerking her hands back to cover her chest. She growled and sputtered as she struggled against the body pressed against her back. One thing she really hated about this new body: her lack of strength. Her struggles did nothing to help release her; she only ended up getting pinned chest first to the wall, her arms held tight against her chest by her and his added body weight. She turned her head and glared at him over her shoulder.
"What the hell are you doing Trip? Can't you just leave well enough alone?"
Trip looked angry and confused at the same time, "Why in the hell were you hurting yourself like that?"
"What do you care?" she bit back at him. "I'm nothing but an accident to you anyways. Why can't you just leave me alone Trip? I don't want to see you; I don't want to even breathe the same air as you!"
Trip leaned closer, his anger still apparent, "Why? A few minutes ago you were telling me that you could easily fall in love with me and now you're basically telling me to talk a long walk off a short pier."
Jenna looked confused over his idiom but struggled against his arms again. She lashed out with her feet and bucked around with her hips and shoulders, snarling like a cornered animal as she did so. To his credit, Trip didn't hurt her as he held her pinned to the wall, even though it would've been very easy to do so. He was even smart enough not to turn her around to face him, because had he done so his nether regions would've been attacked within milliseconds.
"Jenna just stop it!" Trip growled over her snarls, leaning closer to keep more weight against her back.
A few moments later Jenna's movements stopped and Trip suddenly became worried at the complete stillness he felt from her. He pulled away to peer at her and was shocked to see tears starting to silently fall down her cheeks. Seconds after the initial shock of seeing her cry, he wasn't spared more when her whole body racked with sobs and he suddenly held one of the most violent weepers he'd ever seen in his life.
"Jenna," Trip loosened his grip on her and watched as she sunk down to the floor in the same position, "what's going on?" He followed her down and kneeled beside her sobbing form, wanting to reach out and touch her but not knowing what in the hell would happen if he did so.
Jenna didn't even bother wiping at her tears, "Why?"
"What do you mean?" For the life of him, Trip would NEVER understand woman and their very odd communication skills.
"Do you even care, Trip, or is it just the gentleman in you that made you stop me, that made you extend a hand of friendship to me?" She peered at him through teary eyes. "I know I shouldn't ask this question but if we had met in your life would you have given me a second glance? Would it have made a difference if we'd both been alive in your world instead of both dead in this one?" She smiled cynically, "Is that it Trip? Is it because we're dead? You feel that you must have some sort of purgatory to make up for the fact that you'll never be fully alive as you once knew?"
After she grew silent, her tears having slowed to a trickle, Trip scratched the back of his head, again not knowing what to say. However, he figured as long as he talked it would be better than leaving her with his silence—since that obviously hadn't worked so well earlier.
"Jenna, I honestly don't think I would've passed you over in my life. You're much too much of a personality to be reckoned with to ignore, tell you the truth." He smiled at her but stopped when he saw his words didn't even make her lips twitch upwards. "And I'd like to think that I genuinely have wanted to become your friend. I'm coming to terms with my death, Jenna, I'm new at this you know, and I think once I realized that this was it, I decided to commit myself to this, whatever it is."
Jenna finally wiped her sleeve across her face, "What do you mean?"
"I mean I don't want you to leave me." Trip looked very vulnerable then and tried to avoid eye contact as he sheepishly continued. "I know you have the power to create another dreamscape and leave me here, and it isn't even the fact that you'd leave me here alone, well that is a small part of it, I mean-" Trip took a deep breath and slowly let it out before continuing. "Jenna I want to know you. I've said some of the most horrible things I've ever said to a woman before to you, and you never deserved one bit of it. I've mistreated you, I've taken you for granted, and I've overlooked your own feelings. I've been a cad and where I come from cads are good-for-nothings that deserve a good walloping."
"A what?" Jenna looked confused, but there was also something else in her eyes, something he couldn't put his finger on…and it was that that he focused on to continue.
"It doesn't matter. What matters is this: we started out wrong, I tried to smooth things over in the wrong fashion, and now we're here. We could continue to let things go wrong by me letting you leave in another dreamscape and you continuing to think I'm the biggest scum to ever exist, which at this moment isn't too far from the truth." Jenna did chuckle at that and Trip finally reached out to touch the top of her head, very gently, almost as if the touch would break her. "Or we could start over. We obviously have the time to you know." Again Jenna chuckled and Trip's touch grew bolder. "I could ask about your life, your feelings, and I could listen while you told me. We could discover common and dissimilar interests together. I could teach you more dances and you could more than likely teach me something that I don't know as well." Trip smoothed his hand down her head until it cupped the back of her neck.
Jenna swallowed against the lump in her throat, weighing his words before speaking again. "You really mean all that don't you?"
Trip nodded, a soft smile on his lips. Jenna nodded in return, nibbling her lower lip as she thought. There was no harm in his suggestion. It wasn't like they had other places to be, other people to see. They in fact only had each other. Strange how when thrust together two strangers can suddenly be willing to form a relationship for the sole purpose of no longer being alone. However, Jenna honestly felt that there was something more than just that in her budding relationship with Trip. Maybe she was foolishly hoping for such a thing, or maybe it was really there. Either way, they would figure it out sooner or later. They had the rest of, well, they had a long time to figure out a lot of things.
He tipped his head to the side, his fingers still playing with the hair at her neck, "Yes?"
"May I kiss you?"
He smiled and so did Jenna. He nodded and she reached forward, placing her hands on either side of his face. She traced her fingertips across his cheeks, watching as his features softened from the touch. She leaned forward and placed her forehead against his, breathing in deeply the exotic scent of Trip, relishing the fact that she no longer had to loathe it and the temptation it gave her. Her left hand buried itself in his thick hair and she couldn't help but sigh in satisfaction at the lush feel it had moving past her roaming fingers.
She felt his hands move to cup her face, his own fingers rubbing against her face. Her entire being warmed considerably, her heart finding a bit of peace after the years of loneliness. She knew that no matter what came of their relationship she need no longer fear loneliness or solitude—as she had tried to convince herself that she had never been for years before.
"You ever going to kiss me?" He drawled, a smile playing at his lips.
Jenna clicked her tongue at him, "All good things happen with time," she kissed the tip of his nose playfully, "and I'm taking my time." She proceeded to slowly kiss his cheek, his jawline, his forehead, his chin, his eyes, and his ear.
"I gather that." His eyes were closed but his lips were curved into lazy smile. "I'm all for it actually."
Jenna chuckled once more before she pressed her lips gently against his, the kiss warm and sweet but unhurried. When she drew away finally they were both smiling. It felt so damn good to kiss again! She'd forgotten what it felt like really, and that was just the tip of the iceberg in regards to kissing.
"May I kiss you?" He asked playfully, his fingers brushing the hair out of her face.
Jenna grinned, "You never need to ask me again. The answer is always yes."
"That's good to know." Trip commented huskily as he leaned in again.