Warnings: Sexual Content

Disclaimer: I do not own 30 Rock. No profit made, no infringement intended.


For Gretchen's birthday, Liz sent her shoes. Her shoes. Her bi-curious shoes. With a note:

"My shoes went gay for Ellen. And Gretchen. How about your shoes? Are they single?"

A couple days after her birthday, Gretchen's shoes showed up in front of Liz's door, with Gretchen in them.

Gretchen was leaning against the door frame, eyeing Liz suspiciously when Liz opened the door.

"Hey," Liz says sheepishly.

"Liz, will your shoes go straight for Brad Pitt, or George Clooney, or the next guy with a bald spot and a hairy back?" Gretchen blurts out.

"I can't say my shoes will never be interested in another guy. But right now they only want one person. And it's a she. And it's not Ellen- because she has Portia. Otherwise though…" Liz starts to ramble nervously.

"Liv, I don't want to have this thing where you let me do things to you because you feel obligated- or because you don't want die choking, alone in your apartment, or because we'd make a really hot amazing race team… I want you to want me. I want you to touch me. I want you to sleep with me. I'm sorry, but I need that," Gretchen sighs and turns to leave.

"No, Gretchen, it wouldn't be like that," Liz says sadly, her words not stopping Gretchen. Then she has an idea. "I think about you… you know, that way…"

Gretchen turns around abruptly. "What?" she sputters.

"Not in the creepy way…" Liz tries to explain, "Well, I guess it's always kind of creepy to know someone thinks about you when they're…." Liz rambles again blushing. "The point is- I want you. I want you to touch me. I want to touch you."

"You do?" Gretchen asks, trying not to let too much hope creep into her voice.

Liz nods, blushing.

"So if I kissed you, you'd feel something? You'd kiss me back?" Gretchen asks, failing miserably with the hope thing.

"Well… very few things are 100% certain… just death and taxes," Liz pauses for a second, waiting for Gretchen to laugh. She doesn't. Liz continues, "But I'm pretty sure… look, think of it this way. If I feel nothing, you still got to kiss me. You should enjoy that since you want me and all," Liz can't help a slight grin. "If I kiss you back- well, then we can go live our lesbian happily ever after, like Bette and Tina. You know, with less cheating and crazy…"

And that's when Gretchen kisses Liz. Liz's mouth is little open, because she was talking. She can almost taste Gretchen's lipgloss. She likes the lack of stumble, the softness. She likes the smell of Gretchen's perfume, and soap, and deodorant, and… just everything. She feels something. She's sure of it. It's more than watching the L Word and thinking it's hot. It's wanting to reenact the L Word. She kisses back. At first Liz is caught up in the sensation of kissing a woman, of pushing against her lips. Then she kind of forgets she's the "bi-curious" one here and French kisses Gretchen, which kind of surprises Gretchen.

So when Liz pulls away from the kiss, Gretchen has a very dazed look. Liz, of course, misinterprets the look. "Oh god, I'm not a bad kisser, am I Gretchen? I didn't just kiss you like a drunk, horny, high school boy, did I?"

That breaks Gretchen out of her spell, as she chuckles, "No Liz, you kiss like I always dreamed you would. You just surprised me a little with your tongue and all." She smiles at Liz.

"Oh, I see," Liz says with a laugh.

"Um, Liz? I really like your new gay self with all its propensity for kissing, but could we get out of the hallway?" Gretchen asks.

"Kissing is awesome. I mean, um, yes come in," Liz replies, a bit dazed, showing her into the apartment.

They both sit in the living room, not sure what to say next.

Liz finally speaks, "So how does this work? Do we take our clothes off?" Liz covers her face with her hand. "I mean obliviously not… we'd kiss for a while and… With guys, I usually get a little drunk first, so…"

Gretchen smiles softly, "What do you want to do Liz?"

Liz looks at her. "I want to kiss you again."

"So do it," Gretchen replies.

Liz does. It's not long before she's lying on top of Gretchen on the sofa, and she's pretty sure she started out with a lot more buttons buttoned. When she goes to take off Gretchen's shirt, Gretchen stops her.

"You want this, right? And you're ready for it?" Gretchen asks.

"It's only second base Gretchen," Liz says with a smirk. Then she answers seriously, "Yes, I am."

"Okay," Gretchen says with a smile. "What are you waiting for, strip me!"

Liz's mind shuts down for a second. Then she takes off Gretchen's shirt. Gretchen looks so cute in her white lace bra… but Liz wants it off… really wants it off. Gretchen's eyes dare her to continue. Liz unhooks the bra, grinning. Her hands and mouth explore Gretchen's breasts while Gretchen starts to moan. Liz doesn't think she's ever heard a real woman moan- apart from hearing herself. It's really sexy. Liz is starting to feel a bit more confident. This is what she wants. And Gretchen wants her. And apparently, she won't flunk a lesbian sex test as badly as she thought.

Liz's hands start to explore more of Gretchen's pale skin, and she becomes more and more turned by Gretchen's moans. Her fingers play across Gretchen's stomach, teasing under the waistband of her pants.

Liz stops her movements for a second to get Gretchen's attention. "Gretchen, can we take our clothes off now?"

"Yes," Gretchen says with a laugh, "How could I possibly say no to that? Good lord."

So, now they're intertwined on the couch, naked. It's different than Liz thought it would feel. Liz had been afraid that being naked with Gretchen would feel like she was in this lesbian porn where she was the only one without breast implants, and she'd keep flubbing her 5 lines. But it didn't feel like that at all. Gretchen was warm, soft and smooth against her. Their bodies fitted together so naturally. There was a balance of excitement and desire with calm and safety. She trusted Gretchen. She wasn't sure why- maybe because they could share their fear of choking alone in an apartment… no, it was more than that… She could talk to Gretchen like old friend, and Gretchen was smart, and funny, and hot… and naked… Gretchen was naked and Liz was thinking too much.

She loved the idea of idea of having Gretchen naked, and being able to do anything she wanted to her. It was like having a fantastic life-size lesbian Barbie. Expect better- because Gretchen was way hotter than Barbie, way more flexible, and her head won't pop off like Barbie's did.

It's Gretchen's tongue playing with her nipple that stops Liz thinking, and starts her gasping.

Liz is getting really horny, really fast.

"Gretchen, I don't know a whole lot about lesbian sex and all, but… Do you think… you could do whatever it is that causes an orgasm, to me?" Liz asks awkwardly.

Gretchen laughs and nods. Gretchen's strong hands find Liz's clit, and Liz is lost in the sensations. Somehow when Gretchen's fingers push inside her, sliding out to circle her clit- the feeling is more intense that anything she's known before. Liz gets closer and closer to coming. Gretchen pushes three fingers insider her and she comes, clutching Gretchen's body close to her as she contracts around her fingers. "Gretchen, you rock," she sighs as the last wave hits.

Liz doesn't care if this makes her a lesbian- actually she'd kind of like it if it did. Because apparently lesbians are hot like Gretchen, and give really good orgasms.

Gretchen holds Liz in her arms, smiling. She's glad her shoes were single and willing to take a risk.

Liz stirs in her arms. "Gretchen I want to touch you, I want to make my masturbatory fantasies a reality. Care to teach me the ways of Lesbianism?" She says with a grin.

On the floor by the couch, their shoes are sprawled together, shed in a haste to get naked. Liz's shoes no longer need two drinks before they'd make out with you. They're gay for Gretchen now. And they'll totally cuddle after sex with Gretchen's shoes- and maybe even move into the same shoebox someday.