Written for the Junjou kink meme challenge but I just had to post it here too.

The Talk


"I'm glad you could come, Takahiro," Usami greeted his friend by the doorway and led him inside his vast and needlessly large apartment.

Takahiro warmly shook his hands and they settled on the couch opposite each other. Two cups of green tea, which had been pre-prepared by Misaki, and a small pot stood on the table next to a bowl of wrapped sweets. For Takahiro, of course. Usami hated sweet things.

"It's been about two years since Misaki's been living here, hasn't it? How's he doing? Is he here?" Takahiro glanced around the apartment hopefully.

"No, he's out with some college friends right now," Usami shrugged and drew a cigarette from his breast pocket, lighting it with a match.

Lies! They were all lies. Misaki crouched just outside the room with his ear pressed to the door. He hoped, no he prayed, that this would not be as embarrassing as that time Usami had talked Takahiro into letting him stay with Usami. The horror of those embarrassing stories, the fact that his brother actually believed that kind of crap left only bitter memories on his mind. Well, Usami was slightly nervous too so perhaps there would be no incredulous stories this time.

He was not sure how or even why they decided to reveal to his brother that they were…as Usami always said…lovers. It must have been some mad fit of passion. Usami must have tricked him somehow because he was totally convinced this could only go horribly wrong. However, Takahiro was an important person, both to Usami and himself, and keeping a secret from him for so long only seemed as if they were deceiving him. Thus, Usami thought it best to get it out in the open. Come out of the closet, so to speak.

Misaki thought the cloest was quite comfortable.

"That's a shame," Takahiro, unaware of Misaki's presence, looked a little disappointed. "Well, are you two coping well together? If you're having any difficulties - "

"Actually, there was something that he - we," Usami corrected himself, "wanted to talk to you about."

Misaki anxiously bit the edge of his thumb and eased closer to the door.

"Oh? What is it?"

"Misaki's been living here for a while," he began

"Ah, I see," Takahiro lowered his eyes to the cup in his hands. "If it's a bother for you - "

"No! Not at all!" Usami replied quickly. A little too quickly. "Misaki's very helpful. The point is Takahiro, I've…I've never had a girlfriend!" he announced gravely, as though there would be fire and brimstone as punishment for this most grevious sin.

Takahiro tilted his head to one side. "Do you…want me to introduce someone to you?" he asked curiously. "I never really thought you were interested in having one. You always seemed to like the single life just fine."

Usami shook his head. "No, what I mean is that there's a reason why I never had a girlfriend."

"Because you're gay!" Misaki hissed under his breath. "Just say it! Say you're gay and you've been molesting me every night. Well, don't say it like that…"

"I'm not really interested in getting a girlfriend anyway," he continued.

There was something wrong with the way he was stringing his words together. He was usually much more articulate than this, a lot more confident than this too, but this was such an important thing that he could not help but feel a little nervous. Takahiro was still such an important person after all.

Although whatever he was feeling was ten times less than what Misaki, peering from behind the door like a stalker, was feeling, he still paused, braced himself for impact and said; "Takahiro…I don't swing that way."


"I'm saying…I'm gay."

There was a loud crash outside. One that Usami hurriedly blamed on the neighbour's cat. Outside, Misaki lay face down on the floor...twitching.

Sitting back down, Takahiro only looked confused. "Gay?" he asked.

Usami sighed, snuffed out his first cigarette and lit a second with another match. "Yes," he nodded.

Takahiro leaned forward, gripped in suspense. "…So…you like men?" he whispered.

"Yes, gay men generally like other men, it's true," he muttered.

Takahiro's eyes widened, a smile creeping onto his lips. He shot to his feet so suddenly, the tea pot was almost knocked over in his haste. "Really!?" he exclaimed. "You're gay? I never would have thought so!" he looked as if he had just discovered an eighth colour in the rainbow. "It's amazing that someone so close to me is actually gay! Neither I nor Minami really know anyone who swings the other way, at least not until now. It's quite an amazing discovery!"

Whilst Takahiro revelled in this new finding, a certain dark cloud began to amass over Usami's head. So he had never known, had he? It was amazing that someone so close to him could be gay, was it? Somehow, it felt like all those years Usami had spent trying to win Takahiro had been a phenomenal waste of time. How depressing…

"Actually, Hiroki's playing for the other field too," Usami could not help but mutter under his breath. He doubted Takahiro would ever realise that either, even if Hiroki went around with a big pink sign over his head.

"Were you worried about what I would think?" Takahiro laughed. "Don't worry, you're still my best friend, Usagi!"

Usami smiled a little. He had always known that Takahiro was not the sort of person to needlessly judge someone else or condemn others for their choice of lifestyle but even so he had been a little, just a little, bit worried. Outside, Misaki too felt a wave of relief wash over him.

"Takahiro…Actually, there was on more thing that I wanted to tell you…" he trailed off. He was glad that Takahiro still accepted him as his friend but how was he going to explain to him that the object of his very gay affection was none other than Takahiro's precious little brother?

"Oh!" Takahiro cut through him suddenly. "That reminds me, does Misaki know? I don't think that he would have a problem with your orientation. He really is a good kid after all." Despite his words, the slightly worried frown on his face somewhat pleased Usami.

"Misaki knows," he nodded. There was no way Misaki could possibly not know. "He's fine with it. Like you said, he's a good kid."

"Isn't he? He's just adorable, though he sometimes stretches himself too much for others," Takahiro positively glowed with brotherly affection.

"Takahiro, some people would call what you have a brother complex," he sighed, to which Takahiro only laughed. "Anyway, after Misaki moved in I've become very dependant on him, and not just for the cooking and cleaning, I don't think I could live without him at this point. In fact, I find myself very attracted to him," Usami remarked in a not-so-subtle manner and Misaki did his best to remain silent whilst he tried not to choke on all the cheese wafting from Usami's words. Well, he was a romance novelist after all.

The tea cup was suddenly set down. "It's just as I suspected!" Takahiro cried. Had the clue-bell had finally rung above his head? "Misaki's so cute he always ganders so much attention! I wonder if he's had any unwanted advances at university!"

No. No, it had not.

Takahiro frowned at the thought, ready to grab a mop and battle off any advancer on his brother's no longer existing chastity.

Usami took a long, thoughtful drag of his cigarette. "Don't worry, I won't let anyone else touch Misaki," he muttered so darkly it made shivers run up Misaki's spine. He did not mean to be arrogant, but at that moment he could imagine Usami with a scowl equal to his usual 'morning face', some sharp object in hand, ready to exact divine retribution on anyone insolent enough to lay a hand on what belonged to him.

Yet before the last words were even out of his mouth, Takahiro had rushed forward, leaning over the table to firmly clasp Usami's hands in his own. "Oh, Usagi!" he cried with tears of joy. "I'm so glad to have you on my side! You're such a great guardian for Misaki!"

Guardian, yeah right, Misaki thought a little bitterly. If guardians were supposed to molest their charges, pin them down, have their way with them, write licentious BL novels about them, subject them to their strange and perverse fantasies and assault them in their sleep, then Usami was the pinnacle of guardianship.

"Ah, well I guess you can put it that way," aforementioned supreme guardian lit another cigarette and exhaled a puff of smoke. "However, Takahiro, you know now that I'm gay."

"Of course," he nodded.

"And I've told you that I find Misaki very attractive."

"That's right."

"Also, we've been living together for more than a year."

"Of course, I know that."

Usami looked at Takahiro blankly, waiting, with decreasing patience, for him to say something. Takahiro however, simply stared back, expecting the same from Usami.

At length, Usami sighed and snuffed out the cigarette he had been smoking on the bottom of his increasingly full ashtray.

"Takahiro…you can put two and two together, right?"

"Four," was the automatic response. Well, he had always excelled in maths after all.

Just outside the room, Misaki was on his hands and knees, partly too embarrassed to stand, partly bowled over by the obliviousness of his dear big brother. A part of him was crying inside.

Inside the room, Usami slammed his now empty tea cup on the table as he quite suddenly rose to his feet. "Takahiro, I love Misaki!" he declared and behind the door said object of affection felt a blood vessel burst under all the embarrassment.

The gravity of this announcement, however, was lost upon his brother, who sipped his tea politely, smiled, and said; "That's good. I'm glad."

"No, I really love Misaki!" Usami insisted. "Please leave your brother to me!"

At this point, Misaki wanted to crawl into a hole and die. What was that idiot Usagi doing, making it sound like a guy asking the family for their daughter's hand? Idiot, embarrassing Usagi! Idiot! Idiot! Idiot! Idiot!

Takahiro however tilted his head to one side and blinked.

"…Aren't I already doing that?"

That was it! He could stand it no longer! Bursting into the room, Misaki flung the door aside in a screaming rage.

"Arrrgh! Enough already! Just tell him that you fuck me every night!"

Thus, Takahashi Misaki's life came one step closer to insanity.


I'm so glad there's a Junjou Romantica section now. I hope this fandom can now get bigger. Anyway, hoped you liked my first Junjou Romantica fic. Comments and crit welcome.