Chapter 1

"Tobi give it back, hm!" Deidara screamed while running after an orange masked blur through the Akatsuki base. Said blur just giggled and made a sharp left turn into the living room. Squeezing in between the couch and wall, Tobi attempted to hide. Deidara was in the room a second later, annoyance emanating off of the blonde more then rage .

"You little shit! Hand it over, hm." Deidara yelled, performing an air dive towards the couch and Tobi. But he never hit anything solid. Instead, he was held in the air after jumping by two strong blue arms. Red eyes watched behind a giggling Tobi from the left arm of the couch.

Then the owner of the blue arms asked the question almost everyone was thinking. "What'd I miss?" Deidara just turned his head to the right to look up at Kisame and gave what was meant to be an innocent grin.

"Hi, Kisame, hm. You two are back already huh." Deidara said, avoiding the acuing question.

"Yep. Now, what'd I miss?" Kisame asked again, all the while Itachi watched the interact while keeping track of Tobi from the corner of his eye who seemed to be huddling over something in his hands.

"This little shit here," Deidara motioned with his head to the couch Tobi was huddled behind, "stole something of Sasori-danna's and I need to get it back, hm."

"Why doesn't Sasori get his own ass out here and get it?" Kisame asked, finally putting Deidara down to stand on his own.

"Because, hm."

"… Because?" Kisame drawled out. He hated when people, majority being kids and teens, gave answers like that. As if he'd ever just leave it at that. Really. At least his partner never did that to him. True, he doesn't actually talk besides to give direction or the occasional 'Hn' to avoid talking altogether.

"Because Sasori-danna put all my clay in one of his puppets after this dumbass ran off and won't let it out until I get this back from Tobi, hm."

"What is 'this', then?" Kisame's silent partner voiced making ever head turn towards him.

"Uhh, oh, uhm, danna's Super Sticky Sticky Constructing Glue. He needs it to repare one of those wooden hunks of junk that crowed up our room, hm."

"It's art, brat." Came Sasori's monotone vice from the hallway. He stood leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, no Akatsuki coat but a log, light brown, open front shirt with frayed sleeves that end at his shoulders with the hood over his head. (1)

"Art is fleeting, hm!" Was Deidara's automatic response. This argument is as natural and common as breathing between the two shinobi.

"Art, is eternal, Deidara." Came the red heads calm and drawled out response. But hearing this argument a thousand and one times, Kisame decided to interrupt.

"So, you need your glue to get back to work right?" Kisame asked.

At this point, Itachi reached his left hand over to Tobi and with one look into the Uchiha's face, Tobi handed the glue over to Itachi mumbling about scary weasel men.

Walking around the couch, Itachi handed the glue back to Sasori that held it by the edge, avoiding whatever was wet and gooey on it, presumably whatever Tobi had on his hands from lunch. Ew. He eyed the glue for a second then turned to go back to his and Deidara's shared room. Kisame just watched from next to Deidara until Tobi popped out from behind the couch and found it appropriate to jump on top of Deidara, then run of giggling once again and yelling behind him "Sempai! Play with Tobi! Tobi's a good boy!"

"Tobi needs to be flushed down the toilet, hm!" And Deidara promptly ran put of te room and into the kitchen after Tobi.

"If he learned to ignore him, he wouldn't fall for his ploys all the time." Itachi stated, standing besides Kisame now. "Come, Kisame, we need to see Pein."

"What am I? A dog now?" Kisame thought. His partner that is almost a third his age seems to have taken a liking to ordering Kisame to follow behind him.

"Fine Itach-" At that moment, The shark like man was cut off by a shriek seemingly from a young girl. Or Tobi. At that moment, Tobi came screaming out of the kitchen waving his arms in the air while an enraged and soaked, shivering Deidara was standing at the kitchen entrance.

"YOU LITTLE BASTARD, HM!" He screeched, throwing a lump of clay formed into the shape of a centipede at Tobi's general area. Too angry to keep in mind that he should act like a proper and calm headed and shinobi should.

Tobi, however, was running right towards where Kisame and Itachi stood.

With out thinking, Kisame grabbed Itachi by the hand and pulled him over to the left by the front door before the centipede bomb could go off. Both fell over from the shock of the blast and the couch went to furniture heaven were it met the Akatsuki's blood covered arm chair, and crispy television set. It was a good couch. Very comfortable, a nice blue color. Kisame knows because he fell asleep on it nearly every day.

So, the couch was gone. The only pieces left were burning pieces of wood and fabric. A large black stained the floor and wall were everything burned on impact, Tobi was out of site, Deidara was panicking because now he'll have to use his pay for the next three months of missions to pay for a new one, and Itachi was lying on top of Kisame by the door, Kisame groaning from hitting his head on the way down.

That was the scene Pein, Konan, and Sasori walked in on moments later.

Konan was speechless, Sasori just looked at Deidara and mouthed 'you're a dead man' to him, and Pein was oddly calm.

The calm, before the storm. Or Pein.

"What."

Everyone looked up.

"The hell."

Even the animals in the forest behind the base became silent within a hundred feet.

"HAPPENED!"

The base shook and everyone's hair and clothes moved as if there was a breeze.

Itachi finally rolled off of Kisame and sat up, rubbing his head with his right hand while Kisame sat up as well.

Then all eyes went to the blonde.

"Un." Deidara said, attempting to smile.

"My office. Now." And Deidara, which he'll later deny on pain of death, squeaked like a little girl and ran past everyone and into the hall.

"Kisame, Itachi. Get Kakuzu to check you for concussions." Pein stated, looking at the two dazed Akatsuki. Itachi went to stand, but fell back down when his hand was tugged.

"Kisame, let go." Itachi said.

"Huh?" Kisame was still dazed from hitting his head and wasn't at all paying attention.

"Let go." Itachi said again.

"… Of what?" Kisame asked intelligently.

"My hand. Let go." Itachi said, starting to get annoyed.

The words came out before he could think to stop them. "I'm not holding your hand, you paranoid weasel." Then Kisame paused. 'Holly shit! Did I just say that out loud?' Looking over to his right, and judging by the constant twitch in Itachi's right eye, yes, he did in fact say that to the face of a sadistic, S-ranked, mind raping criminal.

Everyone thought the same thing that instant.

'Shit.'

Then, Kisame did something smart.

He ran.

Or, tried to.

He got up, and started to run in a flash, but fell on his face. Looking back, Itachi was also lying face first on the floor.

Kisame tried to use both hands to push himself up, not caring why he fell, until he couldn't reach up his right hand. Looking back, Itachi was holding his hand in his left. They both sat up, Itachi radiating death. They both pulled back their hands… and nothing happened.

They looked at their entwined hands as did everyone else in the room.

Itachi's left hand.

The same hand that held Sasori's Super Sticky Sticky Construction glue.

The same hand, that was COVERED in the glue when he grabbed it from Tobi.

The gooey mess on the tube… was leaking glue.

Three voices in the room chorused one word. (2)

"Fuck."

--

(1) What he wore in the shippuden episode.

(2) The voices, for those that thought I miss counted, was Kisame, Itachi, and Sasori. Sasori knew it was glue on the tube when he went back to the room and thought Itachi wiped it off after.