THE CULLEN CRUST:

Okay, so if anyone saw one of our recent Twilight Tuesdays where we were treated to some raw footage and also an introduction to the Cullen Crest, our darling Larry Carrol accidentally called it "Cullen Crust."

Which, in Lolly's universe, is a Twilightesque STD.

...So here is the result.

To the tune of Queen's "WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS."

-VD-

I know you want,
To get sexy.
I've tried to explain,
Why you can't sleep with me.
But you're so stubborn,
In your human youth.
So I've decided it's time that I
Tell you the truth

(And it goes on and on and on and on...)

I've got the Cullen Crust.
That's why I can not yet thrust.
Don't wanna infect you.
Emmett's got it too.
Alice was just spared
Coz she made Jasper wear...a condom...

I thought I was cured
Of Fangorrhea.
I put my ointments on Edward Jr. every day to fix
Draclamydia.
But it didn't help
That one last VD.
And now I'm sorry my Bella that's what I can't
Let you sleep with me.

(And it goes on and on and on and on...)

I've got the Cullen Crust.
That's why I can not yet thrust.
Worst is poor Rosalie,
And her Genital Vampes.
So stop your bitching
Coz my crotch is itching...immortally.

I've got the Cullen Crust
That's why I can not yet thrust.
So that's my life story
Sorry you're horny
Now I am suffering
For that one night fling...with Aro.