A/N: Spice here. Missy and I did this together in about, oh, 15 minutes. It's amazing what you can acomplish when you sit and just be stupid!

1. Repeatedly pants him in Gin's presence.

2. Stack microwaves in a ceiling high pyramid on his side of the office.

3. Ask him if he's depressed.

4. Snatch his wrists and inspect them carefully. Give him a suspicious look and ask him if he cuts himself.

5. Slam things. Doors, windows, books, etc.

6. Tell him that no one else can see you and that you're only a figment of his imagination.

7. Frequently ask him to define random words.

8. Dress up as a monster and hide in his closet. Jump out and scare him during the night.

9. Talk about nothing other than how much Momo is in love with Toshiro.

10. Dump the contents of his desk on the floor.

11. When Gin falls asleep, relocate him to Izuru's bed.

12. Eat his paperwork.

13. Ask him if he wears eyeliner.

14. Wonder out loud about the noises you heard coming from Momo's room last night.

15. Crawl under the table during a Lieutenant meeting and tickle his feet.

16. Call him a 'fraidycat.

17. Designate some random day to be 'spa day.' Do his hair, give him a manicure, and plaster his face with brightly colored face masks. Don't take no for an answer.

18. Make a CD consisting solely of naughty sound effects. Follow him around playing it at top volume.

19. Ask him what he would do for a Klondike bar.

20. Make up a ridiculous rap about how pathetic he is and recite it when someone comes into the office.

21. Staple his papers in the middle of the page.

22. Blast screamo music in his office.

23. Herd sheep with Wabisuke.

24. Use his mattress to surf the newly polished hallways.

25. Carry around a jar of green goo and insist it's Captain Kurotsuchi.

26. Inform him as to the exact origin of the stains on his desk.

27. Claim to be able to see the future. Follow him around predicting his doom.

28. Constantly rearrange the items in his desk so he never knows where to find anything.

29. Glue his pen to the desk.

30. Paint murals of him and Gin doing inappropriate things all over the Third Squad buildings.

31. Sign him up for Alcoholics Anonymous.

32. When he complains about Rangiku not having to go, tell him that Rangiku doesn't have a drinking problem.

33. Dress up as L and accuse him of being Kira.

34. Handcuff yourself to him.

35. Use his head as a flowerpot.

36. Empty the three hole punch down his shirt.

37. Send him to the shrink for being depressed.

38. Force him to attend all Shinigami Women's Association meetings. Tell him it's where he belongs.

39. Fill his room with various alarm clocks, all set to go off within ten minutes of three a.m.

40. Get Rangiku to take him out clubbing.

41. Reply to everything he says with "That's what you think!"

42. Follow behind him spraying everything he touches with Lysol.

43. Insist that you be addressed as 'Conquistador.'

44. Holler random numbers when he's counting.

45. Draw pictures of Toshiro and Momo kissing all over his papers.

46. Steal all his sandals and replace them with six-inch stilettos.

47. Fill his pockets with pea soup.

48. Cross out the love-ridden phrases on candy hearts and replace them with messages such as 'You suck,' 'Go die somewhere,' and 'Why bother?'

49. Claim they're from Momo.

50. Put mayonnaise in his shampoo bottle.