A/N: Spice speaking. Lol, this was fun. Toshiro's just so easy to piss off! Misao and I were bored. Again.
1. Pin his underwear to the front door of the Squad 10 barracks with Rangiku's zanpaku-to.
2. When he's doing paperwork and drinking tea (over the paperwork,) perch on the corner of his desk and say, "Momo slept with Izuru last night."
3. Set his hair on fire.
4. Tell Rangiku that her captain needs the "Birds and the Bees" explained to him.
5. Dye his captain's coat a different neon color each week.
6. Burst in through the ceiling during an important captain's meeting. Stand up, brush yourself off, and jump up onto the table. Walk over to Toshiro, carefully balance a large marshmallow on his head, and walk out as if nothing happened.
7. Chase after all the Hell Butterflies he sends and eat them.
8. Cover every surface in the 10th Division office in a thick layer of peanut butter.
9. Write an extremely passionate love letter to Gin Ichimaru, signed with Toshiro's forged signature.
10. Line up marshmallow peeps on his desk while he working early one morning and still half asleep. When he's about to nod off, begin smashing them one by one with your fist.
11. Hide watermelon flavored candy in odd, random places around the barracks. (Ex: Between the couch cushions, taped to the bottom of his desk chair, in the clock.)
12. Cover Hyonrinmaru in an array of smiley face and pink flower stickers.
13. Lock a duck in his sock drawer.
14. Make offhand comments about the short bus.
15. Hire him a babysitter.
16. Sign him up for cub scouts.
17. Take away Hyonrinmaru, telling him that small children shouldn't play with sharp objects.
18. Mop the floor with his coat.
19. Glue his sandals to the ceiling.
20. Tell Rangiku that Toshiro is having a bad day and needs a bigger than usual hug.
21. Chop onions with Hyonrinmaru.
22. Stand behind him while he's working. Smack and poke him repeatedly in the back of the head saying, "Toshiiiiroooo? Am I bothering you Toshiro? Toshiro am I bothering you Toshiro? Am I bothering you? Am I?"
23. At random times, shove your whole face into the back of his head, sighing contentedly at the fluffiness of his hair.
24. Fill his desk drawers with oatmeal.
25. At dinner, drop random pieces of your food in his drink.
26. Dangle spit wads over his head. (This is sure to irritate him, seeing as it shows that he is short.)
27. Wake him up at ungodly hours of the night by dumping a bowl of cornflakes on his head.
28. Eat it off his face.
29. Carve a zucchini into the shape of a knife. Follow him around with it poised over his head, singing the 'Psycho' music.
30. Using one of Rangiku's bras as a slingshot, splatter the outside walls of the 10th Division barracks with various types of fruit.
31. When he gets close to you, sneeze. Claim you are allergic to his hair.
32. Tie him up and use him as a broom.
33. Fill his shampoo bottle with pink hair dye.
34. Ask him what he would do for a Klondike bar.
35. Sing "Ice, Ice Baby" every time he activates his bankai.
36. Smash blueberry muffins in his hair.
37. Inform Captain Unohana that Toshiro is in need of "medication."
38. Tell Yachiru that Toshiro want to be her very best friend.
39. Arrange for him to go shopping with Rangiku.
40. Lead her (with Toshiro in tow) to Victoria's Secret.
41. Chase random Soul Reapers around Seiretei with a plastic lightsaber.
42. Sit across from him and stare at him. Narrow your eyes and inquire in a completely serious voice, "Are you a happy fishy?"
43. Every time he opens his mouth to speak, blow a train whistle directly in his ear.
44. Finger-paint all over his bedroom walls with bacon grease.
45. Patch his clothes with bologna.
46. Spike his tea.
47. Hire Fall Out Bay to play in his office when he's doing paperwork.
48. Ask him why he's always so angry.
49. Ask him if it's because Momo doesn't love him anymore.
50. Switch his clothes with Rangiku's. All of their clothes.