A/N: Hi. I'm back to torment y'all. This is dedicated to my little brother-- thanks for the scars, honey, and please note the heavy sarcasm.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. If I did, massive orgies would take the place of fights.
Just Say It
Hoshigaki Kisame figured there was something slightly wrong with his relationship with Uchiha Itachi the day they were shopping for groceries together, when upon the sight of one of Itachi's scarce friends, he was promptly shoved into the frozen aisle and forgotten until said friend left.
Kisame figured there was something wrong with his relationship with Itachi the day of their first date in ages, when while they strolled down a completely and utterly empty street, the Uchiha refused to hold his hand or even let him walk a foot near him.
Kisame figured there was something awfully wrong with his relationship with Itachi the day they visited Itachi's little brother and his blonde lover, when Itachi introduced him as a friend.
The lack of 'boy' in front of 'friend' made the shark-man incredibly uneasy, but of course, he had a bit more tact than to actually bringing that subject up while the two of them watched Uchiha Sasuke and Uzumaki Naruto get as close as third base as they could-- which was quite close, due to Uzumaki's absolute lack of shame and Sasuke's absolute submissiveness to the guy.
He guessed Sasuke was following his older brother's uke steps. But Kisame was getting off the subject here.
Itachi was ashamed of him, no doubt.
But why, damn it?! Was he too ugly to be seen with such a hottie like the short brunette? Was it because he smelled like fish?
Was he bad for Itachi's reputation?
Konoha was a city, but really, it wasn't that big, and everybody knew everybody. If someone found out the great and oh-so-sexy Uchiha Itachi was dating the insignificant and oh-so-ugly Hoshigaki Kisame, it would certainly bring his superstar-worthy popularity to an abrupt end.
Sure, it had done wonders to Naruto's and Sasuke's when they came out, but Kisame thought it maybe had something to do with the fact that they were both smoking hot and even more smoking hot when together.
Konoha liked pervert stuff, and the NaruSasu just happened to have a lot of it.
Again off subject. Kisame got distracted easily.
The Kiri native decided it was best if he didn't bring up the matter. Itachi just wasn't ready to be public, and he could understand that. Besides, it wasn't as if he was being neglected indoors, too.
With that reasoning in mind, Kisame continued to spend his days happily next to Itachi.
Until they visited the youngest Uchiha once again.
"If he's just a friend, then why the fuck do you keep coming with him?" Was Sasuke's blunt way of putting things, and asking a question that had been irking him for a while "Just say it, Aniki. You can't stay apart from the guy."
"You see, foolish little brother," Itachi started his lie, a bit irritated "Kisame is a bit of a retard. The kind of retard you can't leave alone."
At that, Kisame snapped.
Since Itachi had been whispering when talking to Sasuke, he had obviously planned that the blue-haired man wouldn't hear his answer, but no such luck.
The oldest of the Uchiha brothers had forgotten the Naruto factor in his plan, and the snoopy and talkative nature of said blonde as well.
Honestly, the kid couldn't keep his mouth shut to save his life. And he hadn't kept it shut about Itachi's comment.
"A retard? A retard?! Do you seriously think about me that way, Itachi?!" Kisame's roar echoed through entire Naruto's and Sasuke's apartment, and he was pretty sure even some people outside had heard him.
"I can take you referring to me as your friend and nothing else, and I can take calling you Itachi-san when I really want to call you Itachi-chan, and I can take all that shit you make me go through just because you're too embarrassed of this fucking relationship, but when you go as far as calling me retard to save your fucking reputation and to make your little brother think you have nothing to do with me--"
After the little outburst, it had become obvious to Naruto and Sasuke, as well as to everyone who lived in that building, that Hoshigaki Kisame and Uchiha Itachi were in a relationship.
The walk home was filled with a tense silence, and both refused to even look at the other. Kisame urged to grab Itachi's pale hands, fall to his knees, and plead for forgiveness, but he stopped himself.
The Uchiha wouldn't get away from this one so easily.
A blue-eyed blonde boy came up to them from behind, grinning almost maniacally, dragging a redhead boy by the hand.
"Ah, Deidara," Itachi greets, turning to the two newcomers "Nice to see you again. Who's your friend?"
Deidara's grin grow a bit "This is Sasori-danna," By the way Deidara said it and by the way Itachi almost smiled, it seemed as if they had talked about the redheaded before, and Sasori mutters a quiet greet of his own. The smoky blue eyes of Deidara leave the Uchiha to stare at Kisame "And who's this, yeah?"
Just say it, Itachi, Kisame thought bitterly, I'm your retarded friend.
Itachi didn't say it, though, and instead took Kisame's hand in his, much to shark-man's surprise, and smiled at Deidara.
"This is Kisame. I've been dating him for a while now."
A/N: Kinda sucked and kinda didn't at the same time, in my opinion. Review and make me happy, yes? :D
--Not Really Yours