Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts. It belongs to Square Enix and Disney.
Chapter 2: Saix the Puppy
Vexen's experiments were well-known around the castle as "disastrous and horrifyingly perfect".
While the experiments themselves worked perfectly fine and came out exactly how he wanted them to, quite often the consequences of Axel letting said creation loose in the castle turned out… well, not good.
Axel thought it was funny.
No one else did.
Which was probably why when Axel bribed Vexen with the opportunity to not have him disturb his next ten experiments, Vexen took it without a second's hesitation. He wasn't about to push his luck and not get the deal by asking Axel to also not include him in any pranks in the same amount of time it would take him to go through ten experiments.
Now, Saïx wasn't one of the most loved nobodies in the castle. In fact, certain nobodies, like Xigbar and Axel, delighted in tormenting the blue-haired berserker. So it came as no surprise that he was Axel's target for the next prank. The fact that he went to Vexen for an experiment to help him out was only testament to how much he hated Saïx.
It was a particularly sunny day in The World That Never Was, as predicted by Demyx, who continued his morning weather show. Axel had just gotten the experiment from Vexen and was on his merry way down to the kitchen to have a little talk with Xigbar, who was their cook for the afternoon. The fact that everyone would be eating sandwiches for lunch only made Axel happier. It would make it much easier to sneak the experiment into Saix's crunchy PB&J sandwich.
Xigbar eyed the small pill with suspicion. "What's it do?"
"Does it matter?" Axel asked impatiently. "Just put it in his sandwich and then sit back and enjoy the show. It'll be plenty embarrassing for him. And how will he know that you helped me? Look, I'll make sure no blame is placed on you if you do this little bitty thing for me."
"Well, when you put it like that…" Xigbar happily plunked the pill down on the edge of the sandwich, right in a big dollop of peanut butter so it wouldn't fall out. "Hey, dude, what about the taste?"
"Vexen said it should take on the flavor of whatever it's put on," Axel told him with a pleased grin. The whole prank had him floating on cloud nine. It wasn't often he was able to pull off something so elaborate and complex without something exploding on him by that point in time. "Just make sure that Saix gets that sandwich, okay?"
"No problem," Xigbar scooped up the sandwich and plunked it down on Saix's favorite plate; a plate which no one else dared touch for fear of losing a limb. "You better get going. If anyone catches you leaving the kitchen, we're both done for."
He didn't need to tell Axel twice. The redhead was gone from the kitchen in a matter of seconds.
To be fair, Axel tried his very best to not snicker when Saix sat down at his chair. He also tried his best to not stare at the berserker's sandwich in anticipation while he ate his own. Roxas even tried to help by stomping the redhead's foot. Unfortunately, that only caught Saix's attention sooner.
"Is there something you want?" the blue-haired nobody asked.
"Nope," Axel said cheerfully. Perhaps it was said a little too cheerfully because Saix slowly put down his sandwich and rose from his chair never once taking his eyes off of Axel. Then he casually picked up his claymore, which he kept with him at all times, and slammed it down onto the table.
"Do you see this?" he asked. "See how nicely polished it is? I'd really like to keep it like that, but I will kill you if it becomes necessary. So allow me to repeat myself once more - What. Do. You. Want?" He punctuated each word with another slam of his weapon.
"Nothing!" Axel exclaimed, fearing for his nonexistence. "I- I was thinking of my next prank! Yeah, that's it! My next prank for Vexen! I-I was thinking of making him a trick sandwich! That's all! Hehehe?"
Beside him, Roxas tried not to groan and slam his head into the table. 'There's no way he'll believe that!'
Saix stared at Axel through narrowed eyes for a moment longer and then nodded. "Very well," he said as he calmly removed his claymore from the table and set it back down beside his chair. Then he took a seat and, to Axel's disappointment, went for his drink first.
"Axel," Roxas hissed. "If you don't stop being so obvious you're going to get both of us killed!"
"Relax," Axel said, no longer concerned about Saix and his homicidal tendencies. "Everything will be just fine. You'll see."
Roxas rolled his eyes. "Fine. So long as nobody ate Demyx's Lucky Charms, everything will go smoothly, huh?"
Axel froze and then shivered at the memory before casting his eyes across the table to the usually peaceful and almost carefree organization member. He found him conversing happily with Zexion while sharing a bowl of Lucky Charms with him.
"You're still not over that?" Roxas asked, raising an eyebrow. "Sheesh, I was just kidding, Axel. I can't believe you're still afraid of Demyx."
"I am not afraid!" Axel shouted.
"That's all very well and nice," Larxene drawled from a few seats down. "But the rest of us don't want to hear about it," she paused to let out a sarcastic giggle. "Or rather, we don't want to hear anything you have to say."
Axel was about to glare at her, but quickly thought better of it and looked away. The last time he glared at her and said something cross back, she zapped him with her lightning and he couldn't get his hair to lay flat for days afterwards.
Axel perked up when he saw Saix taking his first bite of sandwich. A weird tingling feeling started in his toes and worked its way up. Roxas noticed how giddy his friend was getting and promptly used his favorite method to snap him back to reality.
Roxas leaned over and planted a kiss on Axel's cheek.
Axel promptly fell out of his chair with a crash and landed on the floor on his back. He remained there for a few minutes before he finally regained his bearings and climbed back up into his chair. He easily ignored the fact that most of the organization members were staring at him and calmly began eating his sandwich.
That was until Saix barked and jumped up onto the table and began crawling around on all fours.
Everyone fell silent, not daring to ask Saix what was wrong with him. Asking him something like that was a taboo that not even Larxene wanted to break.
Saix barked again and looked around the table. For once, his yellow eyes were completely calm and almost… friendly. Then he saw Demyx, let out another bark, and leaped on top of the blond boy.
Demyx toppled over with a shout and a mixed cry of outrage as he spilled his last bowl of Lucky Charms. The last thing anyone remembered happening was all hell breaking loose as the sink exploded and sent a wave of water through the kitchen once again.
Axel's last thought before he hit the hall wall for a second time was, 'Totally worth it.'
Hours later, once the repair crew had once again invaded the castle to repair the kitchen and hall carpet, the organization members sat around the television room to watch in amusement as Saix followed Demyx around on all fours, barking and fetching things when Demyx would throw them.
However, there was one person who was not amused by the turn of events. That someone was Zexion. His plans to spend the whole day with Demyx were being ruined by the fact that Saix wouldn't let him get anywhere near him. The first time he tried, Saix jumped up and sunk his teeth into the sleeve of his coat. The second time he tried, Saix started growling at him and tried to bite his boots.
"I will find out who did this," Zexion stated, glaring at the blue-haired berserker. "And I will hurt them."
"Logically, you should assume it's the work of someone who does scientific work," Xaldin spoke up. "Perhaps you should speak to Vexen about whether any of his experiments have recently gone missing," he said, casting a not-so-casual glance at Axel. "And talk to Xigbar about whether someone went into the kitchen or not."
Zexion nodded and fell silent, studiously watching his boyfriend play fetch with Saix. 'I don't understand why it's Demyx he has chosen to follow around. Why him, of all of us? Why not Xemnas?'
"Because mentally, Demyx is the youngest," Xaldin said.
Zexion looked surprised for a moment.
"It was written across your face," Xaldin said. "You were wondering why Saix chose Demyx. It's because some part of Saix knew that Demyx wouldn't laugh or speak condescendingly towards him. He's too nice for that. Even Xemnas wouldn't treat him kindly for his behavior right now. So although you and Roxas are actually the youngest physically, Demyx acts the youngest and so Saix was instinctively drawn towards him."
Zexion was silent for a moment. He wasn't happy about Xaldin bringing up his age, but what the wind user said made sense. He nodded his thanks and continued to watch Saix and Demyx. There had to be some way he could get Demyx all alone. But how?
"You," he said, kicking Axel's leg. "Distract Saix."
"What?" Axel asked. "Why me? Why should I?"
Zexion narrowed his eyes at him and leaned closer. "Because I know you had something to do with this," he hissed. "This is obviously Vexen's work and he would have warned us had he decided to do an experiment. You, on the other hand, delight in not telling anyone."
"That doesn't mean I did it!" Axel protested. "Maybe Saix did it to himself hoping everyone would blame me! Doesn't that make sense?"
"He's not one for underhanded tricks like that," Zexion said simply. "Do as I say or I will go to Xemnas about this matter. He would not be pleased to find out that you have involved Vexen in one of your idiotic jokes."
"Fine," Axel grumbled. "But I won't like it."
"I never said you had to," Zexion replied. "Just do it."
Axel winced as he got to his feet while crumpling up a sheet of paper. "Fine, but now we're even."
"Agreed," Zexion replied.
Roxas looked up when Axel crumpled up another sheet of paper with the first. "What are you doing?"
Axel grinned lackadaisically. "Gonna have a little fun with dog-boy."
"I don't think that's a good--" Roxas stopped talking when Axel took aim and threw the paper ball at Demyx's head. "Idea," he finished with a sigh. "You idiot."
Saix snarled and whipped around to face Axel, who gulped and wondered if there was any chance he could get out of the mess he caused. The redhead took a step back, never once taking his eyes off of Saix. The berserker-turned-dog-man howled and then charged. Axel cursed loudly and then ran as fast as he could.
Zexion, of course, took full advantage of the situation by zipping over to Demyx's side and whisking the blond away for some alone time.
Roxas frowned when he saw that.
"Ahhhhhh! No, bad dog! Don't bite-- OOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW!"
"Hey, little dude," Xigbar said, poking Roxas in the arm. He didn't as much as flinch when the blond glared at him. "You might want this," he said as he handed over a first aid kid.
Roxas took it with a sigh and then stood up to go rescue Axel.
The next morning at breakfast, everyone (minus Demyx and Saix) was amused to watch Roxas help Axel into the Dining Hall. The redhead was covered in bandages thanks to Saix's attack the day before and Roxas was the only one willing to help him out. The others felt he deserved it for doing such an absurd joke and then being dumb enough to provoke Saix.
But then Demyx stomped into the kitchen and everyone fell silent. It had been a while since they had seen the water-user so upset that they could almost see his energy swirling tightly around him.
"Demyx?" Zexion softly asked as he stood up. "What's wrong?"
"Shut up," Demyx hissed his voice barely above a whisper. "You just shut up. I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to see you. So why don't you just… LEAVE!"
Zexion found himself flying through the door on the opposite side of the room.
"Anyone else want to mess with me?" Demyx demanded, looking around the room.
Everyone remained silent in shock.
"Good," Demyx said. Then he walked over and collected his milk and cereal before leaving the kitchen the way he came.
It took a few minutes for the others to snap out of their shock, but when they did they all automatically looked to Axel. All of them except Roxas.
But the redhead looked just as pale and in shock as the rest of them and they knew he couldn't possibly be involved. He wasn't that good of an actor. If he was involved, he would at the very least be ignoring them or defending himself.
So who was it?
"Would someone care to explain the behavior of Number Nine?" Xemnas asked. "Perhaps you, Number Thirteen, have a slight idea as to what caused this?"
Roxas shrugged and continued eating.
It was then that Saix entered the kitchen in his usual "I am ignoring all of you idiotic nobodies" sort of way. He went about his usual morning routine and it was only as he was sitting down at the table that he realized most of the others were staring at him. "What is it now?" he asked with a growl.
"You… don't remember yesterday, do you?" Larxene asked without her usual drawl.
"Yesterday?" Saix repeated, raising an eyebrow. "It was just the same as every other day I spend with you fools."
"Dude, you were acting like a dog all day!" Xigbar howled with laughter. "It was great! You clung to Demyx all day!"
Saix was silent for a moment and then he glared at Axel. "You…"
Axel quickly stood in preparation to run away.
"ENOUGH!" Xemnas boomed, rising from his chair at the head of the table. "Number Eight, take a seat! Number Seven, control yourself!" He waited a moment as the two did as they were told and then he continued to talk. "Since it appears you all are still acting like disobedient children, I have no choice but to punish you. Henceforth, all television programs must be approved by me. Number Eight, Number Thirteen, the monstrosity you have created will now be destroyed. No longer will I allow your program to continue. Nor will you get a chance to create a new one. Number Twelve will get your time slot."
Larxene smirked victoriously.
"Now," Xemnas paused dramatically. "What is this about Saix acting like a dog yesterday?"
Xigbar and Larxene took great joy in explaining, in detail, just what went on the day before while Axel tried to hide himself under the table. Needless to say, Axel got an even bigger punishment for victimizing Xemnas's puppy.
I don't know what happened when I was writing the last part of this story, but it took a rather dramatic turn, didn't it? Now I've got to figure out what happened between Zexion and Demyx in that short period of time. That'll be the focus of the next chapter. Hopefully I can wrestle it back into something silly. Shouldn't be too hard.
And Axel is fun to beat up on.
Oh, and Xemmy is fun to write. He talks a lot, so all I have to do is have him use big words and ramble about stuff. Yay for Xemmy! (Never thought I'd type that...)