A/N: ...I can't believe I wrote a suicide fic. I'm not usually this emo. I usually write fluff.

Disclaimer: Konomi Takeshi owns PoT. I'm just borrowing them for my own sick, twisted amusement.


Tezuka was kissing Echizen.

Had him pressed up against the lockers, flushed and moaning, their bodies so close it was almost hard to distinguish who was who, and they were kissing. Kissing like they'd never be able to it again. And Fuji could do no thing but watch, for at least a full two minutes, as the person he loved betrayed every ounce of trust he'd ever had in him.

Fuji finally was snapped out of the trance in which the sight had put him when Echizen opened his eyes for a brief moment, pushed Tezuka away, and spluttered, "F-Fuji-senpai!"

Tezuka turned, his eyes widening as Echizen said Fuji's name. "Fuji--"

"Ne, Tezuka," Fuji said, his most cheerful mask in place, "you shouldn't reprimand Oishi and Eiji for this so much. It's a little hypocritical, wouldn't you say? You wouldn't want to tarnish your reputation as captain."

Tezuka just stared at him, dumbfounded.

"Well, I've got to be going," Fuji said, waving merrily at them. "I'll see you at practice tomorrow." He left, shut the door behind him, waited. Tezuka didn't follow, so he set off for home, smiling brightly as his world fell around him.


He stared at the knife--at the sharp, smooth blade tainted red--at his own wrists, blood pouring from them, and he doing nothing to stop the flow--at the water, slowly darkening as his blood permeated it.

He had nothing left to live for. He'd realized that a long time ago. He had no drive, no passion, no purpose. His family barely tolerated him. Yuuta had changed schools, specifically went to a boarding school, because he didn't want to be around his brother. His father was embarrassed by him, ashamed of his gay son. He went on business trips frequently and worked late office hours just to stay away from Fuji. And her husband's constant absence had sent his mother into depression. He had never meant to be a plague on them, but it seemed that was how it was and would always be--and he hated that.

He'd thought about this before. About killing himself. He just wanted them to be happy. He'd always figured they'd be happier if he wasn't around.

But when Tezuka had confessed his love to him, he'd selfishly kept himself alive. Finally, he had a distraction from his problems with his family, someone who would make him happy despite them. Tezuka made him happier than he'd ever been.

But now he didn't have Tezuka. Tezuka wanted Echizen.

Fuji's one reason to liveā€¦ was gone.

But he was dying happy, he knew. He was making his family happy. He was taking away the awkwardness that would surely plague Tezuka and Echizen if he stayed on the team, or even in school.

There was something shameful about giving up like this, but Fuji welcomed the shame. He deserved it. It was his punishment for taking the easy way out.

As life slowly left him, his heart beating erratically as it desperately tried to pump blood through his system when there was so little left, he smiled, a true smile.

For the first time in his life, he was at peace.


Reviews please? Even if you want to kill me for making Fuji kill himself? Please keep in mind, by the way, that Fuji is rather--I don't want to say heartbroken, how cliche, but I guess that's a good word for it, and that is leading him to see things in a rather distorted light. He's not considering the fact that Tezuka isn't actually in love with Ryoma. He's only thinking that Tezuka doesn't want him anymore, and right now he's messed up in the head enough to be reckless and do this. It's not like I could incorporate all of that into the fic, though--if I had, it wouldn't have been in Fuji's point of view anymore.