Authors Note: HELLO MY DEVOTED READERS! And new comers of course! I had an idea yesterday in the city.

I know me and ideas are a bad mixture but this will be good (I hope!)

I was listening to Cascada (My brother got me hooked.) I had recently written two songs for our local county fair (they got Blue ribbons!) and I had I thought that I could write a fan fiction using them.

I call this one 'What Hurts the Most' after the song by Rascal Flatts and the one by Cascada.

This is an 'Edward left and Bella was changed' story. I know I just finished one of those and I think I did a good job on it (P.S. I will begin the sequel soon!) and I felt like they were my strong point. (Feel free to disagree)

Ok, I will use a mixture of my own lyrics and others. Bella, is know as the Swan, not only after her name but because when she entered the music business she was like the ugly duckling, then after a while became the most popular artist in the country.

Her songs always convey pain and loss, but what happens when a certain someone that she sings for returns?

Chapter One-- Is That You?

I was backstage in Chicago. I tried not to think of how Edward had lived here as a human. Thinking his name didn't hurt anymore. I looked at myself in the mirror; I was no longer the Bella he had known.

Not long after he left, Victoria had caught up with me. I had put up no fight. I didn't want to. If I had been honest with myself I would tell myself that I was going to jump off the cliff to kill myself.

Without him I hadn't wanted to live. I saw no need to go on. So, I basically waited for her, wanting her to get to me so my pain would end. Jake had found me just in time, in his view, I thought he came too soon.

He had saved me, at a price, I had to leave Forks. I could never see my family and friends again. Jake had staged a death and arranged a funeral for me, I left for no where.

One day I went to a club, I had stuck to the Cullen's strange diet like glue. I was forced on stage for open mic night. I sang the first song that came to mind. An agent in the music business was in the back and I was on my way.

I looked at my reflection, so familiar yet so different. My hair had been dyed for the concert, the front pieces were a crimson color. My nails matched my hair. My eyes were no longer the chocolate they had been, tonight they were bright gold. I was wearing a dress that matched my hair and nails, crimson with black glitter. It was cut low showing my breasts, and went to about mid-thigh.

I had very little makeup on. I was so pale that it would look awful if I had too much (so my stylist says).

My heels were black matching the glitter. I looked at myself again. No, I wasn't Bella any more…

I was more than different…

I was just The Swan.


Empty. Alone. Sorrow. I was just a place setting. I was nothing…without my Bella.

Bella, her name sliced through me like a knife. How I missed her. She was probably about 21 now. That seemed right; I left her 4 years ago. I don't know how I had stayed away.

I tried to keep my mind blank, but Alice wouldn't shut up. "I think I should wear this Edward, what do you think? Pink or black?" she babbled. She had dragged me to her room for a second opinion on outfits. Rose and Esme were gone shopping, and Jasper, Emmett, and Carlisle was hunting.

"Alice, I could really careless," I said in a bored monotone.

She scowled, "Edward, you better cooperate or you'll be the one wearing the dress. Instead of me," she threatened, "I need to look just right for the concert tonight, and when I have what I'll wear then I'll do you!" she said.

"Alice, please spare me the torture of another of your rap concerts!" I said still in a monotone.

She glared at me, "no, not rap. We're all seeing, The Swan, in Chicago!" she said. "How could you forget?" she demanded.

"Because I don't want to go," I said.

"But Edward, you love music! Here listen to one of her CD's," she said shoving an album in her CD player and hit play.

A song floated over the air, sweet and sad. I tried to ignore her, but it was imposable until Alice turned of the CD. "You love her now right? Oh I'm good!" she said, "Now which one, black strapless and short, or pink spaghetti strapped and medium?"

I sighed, "The black one," I said.

She thought for a minute, "your right! Oh, I should do this with you more often!" she said going into her closet and coming out in the dress. "Now, heels or flats?" she asked.

"Heels?" I said.

"YOU ARE RIGHT! I think Rose has just been replaced!" she said excitedly as she put the shoes on. "Now for you!" she said and grabbed my arm and charged for my room.

She had dressed me in jeans and a black button up long sleeved shirt and tennis shoes. She was about to try my hair when Rosalie and Esme came in, "ROSE!" I called.

With in seconds she was at my door, "What the hell Edward?" she asked.

"Save me!" I pleaded.

She smiled, "What are you doing Alice?" she asked.

"I'm going to play with his hair!" she said excited.

Rosalie narrowed her eyes, "I don't think so, leave poor Edward alone," she insisted.

Alice pouted, "Please Rose? We could do it together!" she said.

Rosalie shook her head, "I don't think so Alice. You can do mine if you want," she suggested.

"Yeah!" she said skipping off and out of my room, "WE LEAVE IN AN HOUR EDWARD!" she called.

I groaned. I wasn't looking forward to this.


"Five minutes Bella!" my manager, Ken, came in. He was a human, but was in on what I was.

"Kay," I said getting up, I fixed my hair and walked out.

Ken put his arm around my shoulders, "you ok?" he asked.

"Yea, fine," I lied. I wasn't fine in the least.

He gave me a look that said 'sure you are,' and led me to the stage. I peaked around the corner, we had a packed house. I took a deep breath and with a push from Ken went out on stage, "WHAT"S UP CHICAGO!" I shouted into the microphone. The crowd screamed. The whole night I sang some upbeat songs and I was about to say what my final song was when I noticed him.

Edward, staring at me open mouthed but as beautiful as ever. The rest of his family was with him and had similar expressions on there faces. I felt serge of anger roar up and demand attention. I turned to the lead guitar and whispered what song I wanted. He raised an eyebrow, "but that's not the song on the list," he pointed out.

I rolled my eyes annoyed, "just pass the word and do it," I said.

He nodded and told the band what I had said, the music started to come through speakers…

('What Hurts the Most' By Rascal Flatts)

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house

That don't bother me

I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out

I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while

Even though going on with you gone still upsets me

There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok

But that's not what gets me

What hurts the most

Was being so close

And having so much to say

And watching you walk away

And never knowing

What could have been

And not seeing that loving you

Is what I was tryin' to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go

But I'm doin' It

It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone

Still Harder

Getting' up, gettin' dressed, livin' with this regret

But I know if I could do it over

I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart

That I left unspoken

What hurts the most

Is being so close

And having so much to say

And watching you walk away

And never knowing

What could have been

And not seeing that loving you

Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most

Is being so close

And having so much to say

And watching you walk away

And never knowing

What could have been

And not seeing that loving you

Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you

That's what I was trying to do


I let the microphone drop, and took a bow never taking my eyes from Edward. If he could cry I thought that he would be now. The hurt on his face was so obvious. I motioned to my band, who took bows, "GOODNIGHT CHICAGO!" I yelled and the crowd went wild.

I went off the stage and felt like my dry tear ducts would burst. I held them back and went to sign autographs.

OK, how was it? I must know! So, REVIEW and tell me how it is! Flames are always welcome! I love questions so ask them!



P.S. Try my other works!

RxR for all!!