Heya, folks, BeatleBomb is back!
Mmmm…. Feels good to get writing again… Truth be told, I wrote up quite a few fics before this one, but they all turned up less than desirable. Tried venturing out into different categories, like Fullmetal Alchemist, Shakugan no Shana, Zero no Tsukaima, and even back into Bleach.
I should probably clear this up if people didn't read the update and we're WTF-ing at a new fic instead of another chapter to my other one. I'm not continuing I've Seen Better Days. I re-read it and despised it.
I absolutely love future fics, yet there aren't that many out there written for TMoHS. The ones that are up however are awesome, and I just wanted to add my fic to the proverbial "Future Stew". I can only hope that my writing has improved, and that all my readers will agree as well.
Heaving deeply, I flicked a stray bead of sweat off my nose and let myself fall over onto the bare mattress in the corner. I swear, this body of mine wasn't built for such manual labor.
"Oi! Stop laying around! You still have to move the fridge! Where am I gonna put all the goat that I bought?"
Ugh, twenty years later and she's still bossing me around. Wait, what goat?!
"Come on Haruhi, at least give me ten minutes to rest. Eiji and I have been unpacking the trucks for the last five hours, while you and Sayomi were just standing there barking commands at us." Like father like son, as the old saying goes. I wonder if the phrase "Like mother like daughter," was ever used?
My wife merely sighed as she walked over to me from the doorway and laid herself on my chest.
"Alright, alright. But only for a few minutes! I can't have you getting lazy on me!" she proclaimed, pushing herself off of me as quickly as she had gotten on. She proceeded to rummage through the boxes in our bedroom, pulling various things out and casting them aside.
I'm going to have to clean that up later.
Haruhi certainly hasn't changed much from our high school days. She's still got that crazy domineering spirit that makes me want to rip out my hair and madly kiss her at the same time. Her energy is as boundless as ever, what with assuming the position of CEO at the advertising agency that she works at, maintaining the SOS-Brigade after all these years (Which, I'm glad to say, doesn't spend its time searching for aliens anymore. In fact, it's more of a monthly meeting between old friends.), AND still keeping the role of mother and wife.
She does the latter surprisingly well. You should see the way she dotes on our kids, plain spoils them I tell you. In fact over the years, Haruhi has even softened up on the way she acts with me; no more of the dictatorial school girl that reigned over my life in days past. Now she's sort of like a belligerent school teacher to me.
As far as appearances go, time has done nothing to her still-stunning face. (You could say that the same goes for me. Not that I'm being narcissistic or anything, mind you.) She's also taller now, barely reaching my forehead. Her hair is nearly back to the length it was when we first met, and she still wears that yellow hairband of hers, though the bright sunny hue it once emitted has now been dulled down to a sullen tan. And more often than not, Haruhi keeps her hair in a damnable ponytail, swaying it back and forth whenever she's around me. Agh, damn me and my ponytail fetish!
I mean preference. Ponytail "preference."
Sometimes she even goes so far as to brush her ponytail against my face, allowing me to inhale her intoxicating scent. On days such as those, where the teasing reaches a maximum, I give our kids all the money I have in my wallet and tell them to go to the arcade for a few hours.
You can probably figure out why, you damn perverts.
Oh, right… I suppose you're wondering how I ever fell for Haruhi in the first place. I know that a fifteen year-old me would've definitely laughed at the very thought of marrying, much less dating, the girl. Contrary to what many of you may believe, I didn't stick with her because someone had to keep her happy (That was part of being friends with her anyways.); no, I genuinely grew to love the psychotic dynamo known as Haruhi Suzumiya. Yet, even though I love Haruhi, I'm still surprised to this day that she stuck with me for more than a week. Honestly, what did she ever see in me? (Not that I have low self-esteem or anything) Maybe it was on our first date, which was painfully awkward for the both of us I might add, when I…
You know what, let's keep that story for another day. (Seriously, my head is thumping like crazy from moving furniture for five hours straight in the sweltering heat. I'm having a hard time focusing on what's happening right now as it is.)
"Hey, Kyon!" Haruhi chirped from behind a stack of boxes, snapping me out of my daydreaming.
Another factor that's held up these past twenty years: everyone, including her, still calls me "Kyon".
"You know, we're both thirty-five and married. You ever think you could call me by my real name instead of that?"
"Nope! Kyon was who you were when I met you, and Kyon's who I'll remember you until we're both rotting in the ground!"
That's actually kind of sweet… in a morbid, Tim Burton-ish sort of way.
"Whatever, whatever. Anyways, what did you need, Haruhi?"
"Look what I found!" she proudly exclaimed. Peeking from around a cardboard-layered pillar, she scampered next to me on the mattress, clutching a worn-out box.
"It's… a microwave? What did you do to the one in the kitchen? Did you break it again?!"
How many times have I told that woman that eggs won't incubate faster (or AT ALL for that matter) if you heat them up in the microwave?! Especially if you shove fifty inside at the same time!
"No, stupid!" She may have insulted me, but she looked pretty happy about her discovery. So I let it slide. "Look, look, look!"
Wiping off a layer of dust on the cover of the box, I read what was hastily scribbled onto a rather large piece of masking tape.
SOS-Brigade Supply Chest:
Accessible only to the Chief, Second in Command, Third in Command, and Fourth in Command.
In other words, don't open this Kyon!
I decided to humor Haruhi. "Well, I guess I'm out of here then."
"Oh no you're not!" she spouted angrily. Did she really think I was going? I must be a pretty good actor then. "Being my husband, you're automatically entitled to the rank of 'Sub-Chief', and are therefore able to see the contents of the chest! It's not quite as good as 'Chief', or any of the other officers, but it's a step up from your previous position as 'SOS-Lapdog'!"
I've been a lapdog for twenty years?!
"So, hurray then?" I asked meekly.
"You're damn right 'hurray then'!"
Still donning that wicked grin, Haruhi ripped off the flaps of the box and began to sift through the objects inside. I could recognize a lot of what was in there.
Haruhi's armband, Nagato's wizard costume, the bunny costumes (Which could still manage to give me nosebleeds whenever I thought about her wearing them… Haruhi, I mean. Sheesh, cut me some slack, I'm not the type to fantasize about other women!), the "Othello" game that that slick bastard Koizumi and I would always be playing as we waited for Haruhi, Asahina-san's maid outfit (I could really go for some of her tea right now.), along with so many more pieces of memorabilia.
Wait, this was more of a time capsule than a supply chest!
As I continued to peer into the "chest", Haruhi was rifling through these things like crazy, muttering little comments to herself with every new item she came across.
"Oooo! I remember this! Kyon, remember when we- Oh man, this thing? Ha ha! Hey Kyon, look at- What does this do? Guess I forgot, ha ha! Ooo, that! I nearly got expelled for using that! Hey, hey, Kyon! Kyon!"
Inwardly laughing at Haruhi's wondrous child-like attitude, I turned to her….
"Yeah? What is i-" Only to be smacked in the face with some sort of rough cloth.
"Mmmmpppfmpffm!" I managed to say, my voice muffled by whatever my wife had shoved into my face. I tore said object from her hands, looked at it, then back at Haruhi.
"My old school uniform?"
"Yep!" she beamed. "Look! I found mine as well!" She held up garments that I hadn't seen in nearly fifteen years, a wave of nostalgia wiping over me.
"Heh, sure brings back memories, huh Haruhi?"
"Oh yeah, ha ha!" she said, nodding happily in agreement. "Hey, you know what'd be a fun idea?"
"Probably not. Your idea of 'fun' is different from mine, but go on."
"How about we put these on! C'mon, it'll be just like cosplaying!"
Hmm… I had to admit, that did actually sound pretty entertaining.
Though I'd rather not think about it as "cosplaying". We get that enough from our daughter every year when Comiket rolls around.
"Yeah, what the hell. If I can still fit in them, why not?"
"That's the spirit! Now go on, get out of the room! I'm going to change!"
"What? Why? It's not like haven't seen you undress before."
"This is different! I want it to be a surprise!"
What's there to surprise me with?
Then again, with Haruhi, everything's a surprise.
"Fine, fine, fine, I'm going. Yare yare…" I griped, shuffling out of our bedroom and carrying my old jacket-shirt-tie-and-pants ensemble. As soon as I had left, Haruhi slammed the door shut behind me, startling me and causing me to bump into our kids.
"Ugh, sorry bout that."
"Um… Dad? Are you and Mom fighting or something?" my fourteen-year-old son asked.
Honestly, I couldn't think of a day where Haruhi and I didn't argue.
"I dunno Eiji, it must've been pretty serious! I mean, she kicked him out of their room and slammed the door on him! Maybe she saw lipstick on Dad's shirt and found out he was cheating on her! Dad, you cheating piece of scum, how dare you!"
How can you say that so easily, Sayomi?! Don't you have any faith in your father?
I sighed. Jumping to conclusions, huh? She definitely got that from Haruhi.
"No, kids, your mom is just preparing… a 'surprise' or something, so I can't go in."
"Surprise? Ew, Dad." Eiji said, sticking a finger in his throat as he made vomiting noises.
"Don't be so immature, Eiji, you farthead!" Sayomi remarked, punching her older brother in the arm.
"Look who's talking, fartface!" he replied, punching her in the same spot that she had hit on his arm.
Oh man, I could sense another one of their "Sibling Brawls" coming.
"I know you are but what am I?"
"Takes one to know one!"
"Don't make me hurt you, brat!"
"I don't make monkeys, I train them!"
"Waaagh, that's it Eiji!" Sayomi yelled. She wrapped both of her arms around her brother's neck and sent the two of them tumbling across the empty living room floor. I could hear Eiji's grunts of pain as his sister repeatedly rammed his head into the garage door, cackling with mad delight. I should probably just leave them alone. I don't quite enjoy being the mediator to all their little scuffles. Oh, and don't think of me as a bad father for not doing anything to intervene. They've had too many of these fights to count, and trust me, they both (amazingly) end up unscathed and make peace with each other quickly. So, no need to worry about bad parenting on my part, is there?
Picking up my old uniform, I headed into the hallway bathroom and changed. I had to admit, I was quite surprised, seeing as how my old school clothes fit just as well as they did eighteen years ago. Had I not grown at all? Or did I grow, but just shrink because of my old age? Am I getting shorter? What about my hair, is it grey?! Is that a wrinkle under my left eye?!
Oh man, I haven't reached forty yet, and I'm already having a mid-life crisis! It doesn't matter anyways, I'm used to this kind of thing; every moment with Haruhi is a crisis. (Though I wouldn't have it any other way.)
After I finished adjusting my tie to the right length, I gave myself a look-over in the mirror.
As I had said before, I (like Haruhi) haven't changed much in regards to appearance. My hair is still the same as it was back then: short and brown, though a bit longer in the back. My overall body hasn't changed either, with my height the same (I think) and my weight neither growing nor decreasing. All those menial tasks that Haruhi made me do (And still does on occasion) has given me somewhat of a good build: not overly muscled, but not too lean either. I also tend to frown less than I did in my high school days, partly because becoming enamored with Haruhi, rather than agitated, has helped me to cope with her antics more easily.
As for my personality… finish this and you can decide for yourself, ne?
Well, I guess I look alright. Haruhi is probably done by now, so I'm sure she won't mind if I go in already. Stepping back into the hallway with my other clothes in hand, I could hear that Sayomi and Eiji's fight had migrated upstairs.
I could also hear something shattering, Eiji screaming, and Sayomi laughing in triumph.
Another mess I'm going to have to clean.
I made my way over to our room to check up on Haruhi.
Hmm, I wonder… what would she look like?
I opened the door warily, expecting a flying kick to the head to be part of Haruhi's "surprise."
Instead, I found her dressed in her uniform, crouching front of a large mirror with a pair of scissors in one hand and locks of her auburn hair clutched in the other.
She… she had cut her hair?
Whirling around, she threw her cut hair and scissors outside a nearby open window.
I really hope that didn't hit anyone.
"Hey Kyon, what d'you think?" she asked with a hand on her hip, the other flicking her trimmed tresses.
I had to resist the urge from taking her right then and there. She looked just as she did twenty years ago, like the beautiful high school girl that I loved to hate, yet hated to love. This time around though, her womanly curves had filled out the uniform quite nicely, with the blouse accentuating her… upper assets… And the skirt, good lord, the skirt; the short cloth did nothing to hide the pink lace of her undergarments, but certainly succeeded in showing off her lovely tan legs.
"Kyon!" she snapped. "Stop standing there ogling me!" Was I that obvious? "That's a penalty, you know! Penalty!"
"Whoa, what's with the attitude?"
"I'm just trying to act the way I did back then!" she said with a smirk.
Guess I'd better play along then.
"Okay, Haruhi. I'm moving, I'm moving."
"Good! Now, where's Mikuru-chan? I have a new outfit for her to put on!"
"I hope you don't expect me to drive you all the way to Maebashi just for that. Plus, I think that she and Koizumi are vacationing in America…"
"Oh, right, right, right, acting. I get it."
"Now, get to moving these boxes! I have no interest in a messy, ordinary room like this!"
"You heard me, Kyon!"
I grinned as I walked over to the nearest pile of boxes. Just like old times.
"Hrrk!" I groaned. What the hell?! Something tightened around my neck and…
Here I was, on my back, with Haruhi sitting on my stomach, my tie wrapped around her tense fist.
Too much like old times.
"So Kyon, what punishment do you think is fair for an insolent member such as yourself?"
"I dunno Chief." I said, both of us smirking at the situation.
"I think it's only just that I, as executive officer of the SOS-Brigade, should have to deal you your disciplining myself."
"Well, let me have it then."
Haruhi just giggled as she brought her face closer to mine, closing the gap between our lips. She strengthened her hold on my neck by pulling on my tie, while I wrapped an arm around her waist, thrusting her mouth further into mine. It was always Haruhi who instigated little romantic escapades such as these, while it was I who kept them going. Still keeping a tentative hold on my wife with my right arm, I explored the rest of her body with my left, touching all the places I knew would drive her mad.
"Mmm… Kyon…" she moaned.
"Dad! Look at what Sayo br- Ewww!" my son shouted as he burst into the room.
Oh crap… I forgot about Eiji and Sayomi. Dammit, I should've given them money beforehand! Yet, even though I felt my son's disgusted gaze pouring over us, I couldn't break away from Haruhi.
"Dad! Dad! Don't listen to Eiji! That knucklehead is just- Ewwww!" she shouted, emulating her brother.
"Ugh, could you guys please do this when we aren't around? It's just gross!"
"And what's with the school clothes?! Are you cosplaying or something?!"
"Ick, come on Sayo, let's go."
"Waaaay ahead of you…"
Only after I heard our kids rush out of the house did I separate ourselves and look at Haruhi. Her cheeks were flushed and she was panting from the lack of oxygen, a wet string still hanging to both our lips.
"Wow…" she whispered, loosening her grip on my tie and snuggling her face into the crook of my neck. "We should've found these a lot sooner."
We stayed in that position for a few more minutes before Haruhi spoke up again.
"Hm? What is it?" I asked, stroking her hair.
"You know, I doubt Eiji and Sayomi will be back soon…"
I raised an eyebrow at her, gazing at her unbelievingly.
"Well then, Chief. I'm all yours."
Needless to say, our uniforms didn't stay on much longer.
A/N: Ugh, there you guys go. I don't know why I try to write out romance: I just plain can't. At least it's better than the fluff I tried for "I've Seen Better Days". (In my opinion it is.) Anyways, I'm kinda proud of this fic, it being my return into the world of fanfiction.
Hmmm… Not much else to say…
Well, you know what I want, haha! Reviews, reviews, reviews! Please R&R folks! Oh, and no flames. Constructive criticism please, no flames.
That's all for now!
Peace out y'all!