Disclaimer: I hold no ownership of the story of -Man only the idea for this plot…

Warning: Dub Con, Terrified and confused Allen, some vulgar words, soul searching during said dub con.

Note from Israfel: "…Hi…" I say. A tumbleweed rolls by I see, "…" You say, glaring at me for my absence.

Honestly I am sorry for being off in Lala land (lol puns) but I've been missing this story, this fic, this everything. I intend to keep up with this, at a slow pace since I work full time (should be in school, but I have to fix some tax issues) and have the general issue of Life happening.

Dude I seriously just realized that my section breaks have been removed 8i they were simple dashes and just ARGH I have to use this stupid unappealing XXXX thing for section breaks now. LAME

CircUs of NIghT

~Gone before the Dawn~

Come one, Come all

Gather round boys and girls

And try not to stall

The shows about to start

The world's in a daze

And you're about to be amazed

This circus is in town for just one night

Are you ready for a fright?

Come one, Come all

Ladies and Gentlemen are you ready for a treat

This isn't any ordinary feat

Prepare to be astounded

Prepare to be confounded

This worlds about to take on a whole new look.

Are you prepared for it to be shook?

The time has come my friends

Do you have all your trends

If not it's too late

Take your seats and please be hushed

The curtains about to fall

Are you ready for the call?




Lights out!

In the dim of the night

The time is right

For all your dreams to come true

May they be simple, small,

Large or tall,

Everyone here is treated to the fear

Ask what that is

Ask what that is…

Look, the curtains rising,

Hush now, hush now, there is our actor

Can you see him smiling?

That's the only factor

That will not change…


The room is dimly lit, the place heady with smoke from candles and incense that has long burned out. The floor is of polished wood and the walls are covered in expensive drapes and silk curtains. Lush, extravagant pillows litter the flooring, mixed in with petals from white and red roses.

The room has an exotic feel to it.

Allen's sitting in the middle of it. He's atop a rather expensive pillow, sitting in the same manner he sometimes saw Kanda in. There's a low sitting cherry wood table before him with a single, small cup of tea atop it. He isn't sure if it's Earl Grey or even Green Tea - for all he knows it could be Chamomile…

The small exorcist is nervous and unsure of what to do.

He had done as instructed so far, had Timcanpy turned off, tucked neatly away in a bag that reminds the boy of an oversized purse. Allen glances over to the futon on the floor, covered in petals and expensive sheets. The rug beneath it is Persian, the headboard between it and the wall is of a cherry wood.

The door to the room opens up softly and a woman's voice fills the air, bringing in the scent of incense with it. The boy freezes in response to the sound. For a moment he's forgotten how to act, what he has to do. The sound of the woman's voice is deep, and somewhat husky - causes his mind to spin. He's too nervous. Why was I sent?

"Why have you come here?" The scent of incense is interlaced with the smell of cigarette smoke, making Allen think that it's coming from one. The smell reminds him of Cross and he can't help but feel somewhat reassured at that. He closes his light colored eyes and reminds himself of what he's doing, why he's there, what Komui had told him.

"They can't know you're an exorcist, or that you are trying to find out if they have Innocence there…

when they ask why you came, which they will, you have to reply like a real customer-god forbid-like Cross…"

"Well?" The woman's voice calls Allen back to reality. He looks down at the tea cup, unable to make himself turn around and look at her. I'm not supposed to right?

"You're a kid too, funny how you had that much money." More smoke fills the room, coming closer to Allen, somehow numbing his senses, reminding him all too much of Cross.

"Don't be scared. Tell me, what is it that you came here for?" Allen closes his eyes, prepares himself for his response. It comes out almost shaky and far too meek sounding, "To have a - desire filled…"

The exorcist can feel the woman smile, can somehow sense it, before she moves almost silently towards him. He can hear her soft footsteps on the wooden floor as they come closer to him. She kneels down behind him and in an instant his eyes are covered by a cloth and her hand, her other one on his forehead. Allen can feel panic welling up in his system at being plunged into total darkness.

"To have a desire filled? Well let's see what your deepest one is." The woman's voice is too close to his ear, her very being is too near him - it's making his heart race. He can't tell what she's doing, what's going on. He can feel her looking inside his mind somehow, can feel her presence inside of his head.

"Ah, I see. You've suppressed all sexual desires in your body, for the sake of your work. Now, just who do you really want the most? Can, no, do you even know?"

Allen suddenly wants to pull away and hide. He can feel his face heating up. He feels like something inside of him is being exposed, something unpleasant that he's denied most of his life…

"So, who do you really want?" For a split second, for that single sentence, it wasn't that woman's voice that spoke to him. It was Kanda's. Allen yanks himself away from the woman. He hits that table and knocks the tea over along with himself. The boy stares at the woman, both astounded and scared by what he's heard. Why Kanda?

The woman's appearance demands his attention, keeping him from letting himself think. Her face is painted in a beautiful yet odd manner, her hair is long and wavy, turns into ivy at the ends. She has wings, a bit like a fairies that seem to glow. The woman moves closer to Allen, till she's leaning atop him.

"Who did you hear?" Her voice is demanding and laced with curiosity. She can see how surprised he is. Before the exorcist can stop her, her hands move up and her fingers touch his temples.

Allen can't help but picture Kanda when she does that.

"I see…this man, he's the one you desire." The woman stands and yanks the boy up with her, tossing him onto the futon. For a second he's surprised by how soft the bed is, considering it's on the floor. That's when he notices that the room is slowly filling up with a fog and that the woman is retreating to the door.

"Have fun," She calls back. "Make sure you are gone before daylight, otherwise you belong to us, as stated in the contract…" The fog has filled the room so much now that the only thing Allen can see on the other side is the faint glow of the candles. He can hear the door open and shut and for a moment he thinks he's alone.

He's wrong though, because Kanda is suddenly standing beside the futon, scaring Allen more than surprising him.

"K-Kanda…?" The exorcist hates how shaky his voice suddenly is.

"I'm an illusion created for you."


The Asian man doesn't say anything more, instead he begins to remove his exorcist jacket. Panic is welling up inside of Allen and he suddenly finds himself on his knees and yanking the jacket shut.

"You want to undress me?" Kanda's voice is too real, sounds too much like the real one. It makes Allen shiver visibly, whether it's fear or desire he can't tell. The boy is pushed back onto the futon, his hands are held down and he can feel Kanda's hair on his cheeks.

His face heats up as lips press against his own.

They feel real, and exactly as he imagined - when did I? - almost too real. Allen can't help but love the sensation, the idea of Kanda's lips on his own - this isn't real! He yanks away with a gasp, cheeks inflamed and bright red. The Asian man breathes against the younger ones ear before licking the shell.

The boy can feel a knee force its way in between his legs and before he can react Kanda's body is lying flush against his own. He is momentarily lost in his own head. Allen's feeling too much all at once, too many unfamiliar sensations are running through him.

"Kanda - Stop!" He suddenly feels panicked again, a fresh wave flooding his system. He doesn't know why, except that he knows this Kanda isn't real. The tongue against his neck says otherwise and for a split second his mind goes blank, long enough for his shirt to be pushed up. Allen starts to struggle, tries to push Kanda back and to free himself - This is too much!

His body feels sluggish and is reacting slowly, too slowly. He wonders if there had been something in the tea he had been given earlier. "Stop!" The boy's thoughts seem to be slowing down and before he knows what's happening he feels Kanda's hands undoing his pants, his shirt lying on the floor somewhere. The Asian man is only half dressed now.

"Why are you fighting?" Allen's breathing is labored and he feels electricity run through his body. He's reacting to the others voice and he doesn't know why. He doesn't understand anything of what's happening - the feeling are too foreign. This isn't right! I hate Kanda, I'm supposed to like Linalee…

Supposed to…

"Get off me!" The Asian man is shoved back, amusement clear in his eyes.

"You fight me, but your arousal is obvious."

"What the hel-" Allen's voice stops in his throat as Kanda's hands are in his pants now and his crotch is being groped. The feeling that shoots through him is akin to liquid fire and it's starting to create a rift between his body and his heart.

"See? You do like this." The boy reaches up and tries to push Kanda's hands away, but the sudden squeeze to his cock causes his mind to go blank and his body to freeze. He's suddenly pushed back, his hands held down by just one of the older man's.

"If you plan on resisting then I'm going to restrain you." Allen tries to do just that, to free himself, although the more he struggles the more he can feel Kanda. Whatever was in the tea is really starting to affect him.

"Let me go!" His voice is weak sounding and ineffective as his hands are tied together by the white ribbon from the other's hair. He's fixed to something behind him and by the time he realizes it's the headboard he can't do anything about it.

"Kanda Stop!" He's shouting, desperate now. There is a hot tongue on his chest, licking ever so slowly lower. Allen can't deny that it feels good - He's not real! His pants are suddenly being pulled down, boxers and all. The boy's body is frozen and all he can do is stare at the older man, panic clear in his eyes.

"You're hard, despite your resistance." The Asian man opens his mouth and licks up the underside of Allen's dick. The boy's mind is falling apart and something in it tells him that he's thought about this before.

"Please - don't!" Allen closes his eyes. His mind screaming at him, telling him that what's happening shouldn't be.

"Maybe you want me to rape you." Kanda muses before submerging Allen's obvious arousal in his mouth. The boy's suddenly seeing stars. The illusion's mouth is captivating and his body is begging for more.

"Stop…" Allen's mind is still saying no, even though his body is trembling with need. The suction increases and that tongue is caressing him, causing his mind to go blank once more.

"…ah…Kanda…" The words are almost silent but they're still there, making Allen's world spin. He's about to cum, about to moan the other's name again but before he can, Kanda suddenly pulls away. The smaller exorcist's mind is empty and dazed, his body feels like it's throbbing. The illusion of Kanda sits up and pulls the boy's pants off completely before removing his own.

Allen shivers, feeling far too exposed for his liking. He tries to pull his legs up, to cover himself, to create some sort of barrier between him and the other man. It doesn't work, none of his efforts have. Kanda's hands are on his knees, pulling them down, coaxing him into spreading his legs.

The boy can feel his heart beating harshly against his rib cage. "Kanda…please… don't…" He's begging now, asking the illusion to stop, pleading with him. Allen can feel his mind breaking, that if this actually happens he won't be the same, he won't be able to speak to the real Kanda properly ever again.

"Don't…" The small exorcist begs again, closing his eyes and turning his head away. For a moment he doesn't feel anything and the room is silent, so silent that he thinks the illusion has listened to him. That's when he feels an all too gentle and all too real kiss on his forehead and then one on his temple.

Allen can feel his body trembling again, can almost hear his heart hammering against his rib cage. Fingers are slipped into him and he opens his eyes. The boy is staring up into Kanda - he's not real!

"…stop…" He gives a tug to the restraints on his arms, a weak one. He can tell that his body has given up fighting, has given in to what's happening.

"I…don't want this…" Allen feels like his heart is breaking and he can't figure out why, he doesn't understand why it hurts so much to have this happen. The fingers inside him are moving about and his body's reacting even more. The boy is starting to cry despite the fact that he is beginning to push back against Kanda's hand.

"I wouldn't be here if you really didn't." Allen closes his eyes again, tells himself once more that this Kanda isn't real, that he's not the one he sees all the time back at the Order. The boy is trying to think, trying to understand why it's Kanda that the woman said he desired.

His mind is brought to a sudden halt when the fingers inside of him press against something that makes his back arch and his mouth drop open in a hardly suppressed moan. That's when it clicks into place, when he understands why it was Kanda that had come to mind when asked what he wanted.

He really did desire Kanda, but not for sex, or anything as physical as that. He loved the man because of who he was, because he was strong and graceful, because he had his pride and refused to let anything touch him. Allen stares up at the foggy ceiling, his cheeks wet from the silent tears he's crying. He had known he admired Kanda but he had never realized that his admiration for the older man had become something akin to love…he had told himself long ago when he lost Mana that he wasn't going to love anyone that strongly again.

The fingers slip out of him and for a second the boy feels lost. He knows that it's about to happen, that he's about to break. Kanda is pressing against him, is almost inside of him, almost and Allen decides to give in, because this is something that he never expects to happen again and a small part of his mind tells him that he does want this, that he needs this.

The small exorcist spreads his legs, allowing the Asian man to have more access to him and before he knows it, he's being stretched open by something that is much larger and much hotter than the fingers. The boys' eyes are shut tight and he's still crying silent tears. Within a moment the pressing stops and Kanda is fully seated inside of him.

Allen's breathing is erratic, he's wanting to say something, that he doesn't believe the man when he tells him this is what he wants. His mind is a mess and he's starting to feel more than just lost - confused. He knows that this is something that he wants now but at the same time he feels like he's falling apart.

Kanda kisses him on the lips and Allen pulls his previously closed eyes open a second. The Asian man's lips really are just too good and too much like what he thought they would be. The boy still doesn't know where those thoughts had come from, or when he had pictured the older man this way. He knows that he had at some point but he's unable to remember when. Kanda pulls back from him, and gently rocks his hips forward, teasing the boy below him.

Allen's mouth falls open, a sudden jolt of pleasure shoots through him and he can't think. His backside aches from being stretched so far open yet at the same time he likes it and he can't explain why. The two kiss again and this time Allen is willing, allowing the other to slip his tongue in. It's in that moment that Kanda pulls out and pushes himself back in. The kiss is broken as the smaller male gasps at the sensation.

The Asian man repeats the action, out and then back in, harsher than before and Allen is gasping again. His head is tilted back and his body is throbbing, tingling all over. The motion is repeated again and the boy's almost empty mind has a few scattered thoughts. Among them he is sympathizing with Cross for sleeping with so many people.

His mouth drops open as he feels hands on his hips, tilting them up a little more. Out and then back in. If this really was what sex was like he wouldn't mind having more of it. Out and back in - harsher now. Allen lets out another breathy sound and looks up at Kanda. The Asian man looks fantastic to him and his heart suddenly hurts. He's not real… The thought is depressing and he knows why he's letting this happen now. He really is in love with the man and he feels like his affection will never be returned.

Out and back in, faster now. Allen squeezes his eyes shut, feeling even more now. He's trying not to let the pain in his heart override the pleasure. He lifts his legs up, wraps them around Kanda's waist, wishing that it really was Kanda now. Allen leans up, numbly thinking of what he could do if his hands were free. He kisses the man, timidly, before gasping as something inside of him is bumped.

"Feels good?" Kanda's breath is next to his ear, his voice is sinking into his mind, eating away at him slowly. The boy can only whimper in reply, as that place inside of him is hit again. He wants his hands free more than ever now, wishing that he could touch the illusion of the man he wants.

The boy initiates another kiss, a sloppy one as they are both reaching their limit. Kanda lets out a low sound, making the other's insides turn in sheer pleasure. He reaches up and unties the smaller male's hands. Within seconds Allen has his hands tangled in Kanda's long dark hair.

"Please… hold me…" The exorcist whimpers knowing that he's about to reach his limit. Their movements are frantic and both are close. Allen can feel something inside of him about to break, something that will snap with his release. He doesn't care though, not anymore because all he wants now is to hold onto Kanda, even if what he is holding onto is an illusion…

The Asian man wraps his arms around the smaller male, lifts him off of the futon and into his lap. Out and back in. Allen's moving his body more now, the uncontrollable pleasure flooding his system. He's holding onto Kanda like his life depends on it. They kiss again, and the boy can feel his mind falling apart.

He's starting to cry again.

Kanda makes a sound, breaking the kiss, and Allen hides his face in his neck, moaning softly as the place inside of him is hit repeatedly. He tightens his grip on the man's shoulders, inhaling deeply, trying to make everything last. He can't though and he is cuming within seconds.

His body is shaking as bright white stars pop and explode before his eyes. The feeling only lasts for a few seconds before it starts to fade, taking his mind along with it.


A door is slammed open and Allen finds himself being yanked out of bed in a strong grip. He's lost for a moment, his head spinning. The first thing he realizes is that he's naked and he reaches for a blanket, something - anything - to cover himself. The second thing that his mind takes notice of is that he is still in the extravagant room, still on the futon bed.

He looks up, shocked, as the strong grip on his arm drops him back onto the floor. Allen grabs a blanket and covers himself with it, before looking up at the person who woke him.

It's the woman from before, the one that looked inside of his mind. She looks different now, human. Her hair is held back in a low ponytail, no longer turning to vines on the ends, her wings gone. She's dressed in a loose kimono styled dress, two layers, and her face is no longer painted.

"I told you to be gone by morning, child." She hisses at him, clearly mad - pissed.

"You got your wish and yet you fall asleep? I said be GONE!" Allen looks down, trying to figure out how he had fallen asleep. He can only recall… He realizes that he must have fainted and his face drains of color.

"I told you that if you were here the next day you belonged to us. Why did you stay?" The woman is shouting still but she sounds desperate and Allen can't help but wonder why. He looks down at the expensive carpet and tries to think of something to say.

"I-I fainted…" he feels weak and stupid saying that. The woman lets out an exhausted sigh and moves across the room, picking the boy's clothes up and tossing them at him.

"Dress yourself child, I must take you to the Circus Master, your new owner." Allen looks up at that, unsure if he heard the woman right.

"Owner…?" He asks, hesitant. The woman fixes him with a hard stare clearly unhappy.

"You signed the paper when you entered the building, said you'd be gone by daylight. You aren't though and therefor you're now property of the Circus of Night. You're stuck here now like the rest of us."

"Stuck…? Allen's leaning forward, still covering his body, ignoring the aches of his body. The back of his mind is telling him that something horrible is about to happen, has happened. Why was I sent here?

"Get dressed, our Master will give the final decision as to what work you will be doing here." The woman is frowning still, her facial expressions are set in place but her eyes are showing Allen that she is as scared as he is. The exorcist hesitates a second, feeling like she should leave the room or something.

"I said get dressed." She snaps at him, her voice faltering in its intensity. "You don't have anything I haven't seen before… except that arm…" The boy looks down, at his hands a second before doing as she said. It hurts him to move, to lift his legs to put them in his pants and boxers.

"You have any idea what's going to happen to you now?" The woman sounds choked, fearful even. Allen chooses to remain silent as he moves across the room to pick up his bag with Timcanpy in it up. "This place is worse than brothels…The curses that are set upon us are horrific and those lucky enough to get bought still have to live with them." Allen swallows thickly, he can feel the fear setting into him and he's starting to worry.

"Curses?" He asks, holding his bag close to his chest, desperately want to turn Tim on and send him for help. The woman looks at him before moving towards the door.

"You saw me last night. That is my curse - that is how I look every night, how I'll look for the rest of my life unless I satisfy the conditions on which I was cursed, or as the Master says, Marked." Allen looks down, suddenly wanting to touch his eye.

He was already cursed, he didn't need another one…

"Let's go." The woman leaves the room and the exorcist follows slowly, his heart beating faster than he wants it too. He can already feel something terrible is about to happen.

and he has no clue how bad it's about to get

Edit, Edit, Edit. I'm fixing up my old writing mistakes and pretty much just re learning my own story. I have no intention of actually dropping this again. I actually started watching the (HORRIBLE) English dub on Netflix, and I purchased the first five DGM books to read. C:

Please visit my DeviantArt, where this is also going to be posted. My user name there is Lafyel, which is what I go by these day.