DISCLAIMER: I don't own Naruto or any of the characters. If I did, Gaara wouldn't be as crazy, Kyuubi would get more face time, and Sasuke wouldn't have left. This is my first time doing one of these and they get kind of longer near the end. There are hints of BoyxBoy and if you don't like that stuff, there are only two sentences of it. They are in numbers 16 and 19, but like I said, it's so small you can close your eyes for that part. Enjoy:)
P.S. -Anyone who can guess who Kyuubi's friend is gets a cookie.
Twenty Truths of the Kyuubi no Kitsune
1.) Despite what everyone thinks, the Kyuubi no Kitsune isn't evil. He just likes destroying things and dark ironies. Actually, he's kind of crazy. One of his few friends is a purple cat that can't speak a straight sentence to save his life. Point is though, he isn't evil, he just thinks on a different(crazy) wave length.
2.) Kyuubi hates Uchihas. The fact that his host is constantly chasing after one does not escape his notice. This offers him a constant flow of anger and amusement that always confuses the blonde haired loudmouth.
3.) Kyuubi hates the snake sannin nearly as much as he does the Uchihas. That sloppy seal he put on his host nearly made him insane, like a itch that you can't scratch. The thought that thing even touched his host sends a tiny, tiny, tiny shiver down his spine. The fact that the snake sannin freaks Kyuubi out is plenty enough reason to hate the creepy bastard. When Kyuubi later shares these thoughts with his host, he merely scoffs, though on the inside, he is in complete agreement.
4.) Kyuubi doesn't hate Arashi for sealing him in the brat. He gets a little annoyed at the man when all he can hear is 'believe it', all he can see is orange, and all he can smell is ramen, but he doesn't hate the man. If sealing him was the only ways to get him out of that damned jutsu, then so be it. It's just when the brat is on his fifth bowl of pork ramen that he is extremely annoyed at that damned hokage.
5.) When Kyuubi sees the one-tail's host, he feels kind of bad for him. Not having slept for at least twelve years and always having an annoying voice in your ear can make anyone unstable. He truly does feel sorry for him. The biju stayed with him for three years once. Incidentally, during those three years, more volcanoes and forest fires happened then, than ever before. Sometimes, the Kyuubi still doesn't think that he all the way recovered from those years. Yes, Kyuubi truly does feel the red head's pain.
6.) During the fight with Shukaku he couldn't stop laughing when his host and the frog transformed into him. He only laughed harder when he saw the Uchiha's face. When he sensed his host's confusion at the laughter, he couldn't stop for a full ten minutes. To this day, Naruto still never knew what was so funny, and just him asking is enough to bring a chuckle to the demon fox.
7.) When Kyuubi hears of the Uchiha massacre, two things go through his mind. The first is a small particle of gratefulness to the Uchiha that went nuts on his clan, now there are only three of them left wandering around. The second thought is, that's why people aren't supposed to in-breed.
8.) When he finds out that the Uchiha that massacred the others is in the group of ninja after his chakra, that small particle of gratefulness turns into a seething mountain of hate and anger. If it wasn't for that stupid seal, he would pump his host so full of chakra, all he would need to do is blink in the direction of the crazier Uchiha. When he later hears about the 'Tobi' of that ninja group, all he can do is see red. When Naruto wakes up he is in the middle of what used to a inn with Kyuubi still muttering angrily in the back of his mind.
9.) After the Uchiha, Sasuke, leaves his host for dead, he tries to tell himself that the anger he feels is because he was beaten by an Uchiha and not because one of his host's closest friends defected from the village and punched a hole in his lung. He gets even angrier when it's not working.
10.) After nearly 16 years inside of his host, whenever he thinks of him, he never once refers to him as 'Naruto'. It took a long time for him to even refer to the brat by name in speech. Somewhere along the way though, he somehow found himself interchanging 'host' and 'brat' for 'kit'. Though, host and brat are still used a lot, especially when he finds out that the brat is heading over to Ichiraku.
11.) When his host starts complaining about how that pink haired girl won't go on a date with him, the Kyuubi doesn't feel any remorse when he tells him to shut up. Really, he didn't think that the kit, brat, was that dense to not see how much that white-eyed girl cares for him. Especially since she isn't nearly as abusive on the body and ears.
12.) After him and the brat see the mini Uchiha again for the first time in three years, he's surprised. When he finally gets to see the Uchiha up close and in person and really see the famous 'avenger' he feels slightly sorry for him. He can see that all the wrongs and sadness that this child did haunt him constantly and have never left. He probably still replays that fight with his host in his mind. The eyes looked dead, and he knows dead eyes when he sees them. After a minute though, right about the time that he is destroying his chakra fox, he remembers that he hates all Uchihas and regrets that he didn't even try to bite the boy.
13.) He wonders about his host sometimes. He really thinks that the boy isn't right in the head. After everything he's been through and repressed, it can't be healthy to be that happy all the time. Not to mention that the fact that the boys mind is a damp, bleak, and leaky sewer has to mean something. He doesn't say anything though, because what can he say. It would be kind of hypocritical if he confronted the brat about his mental stability.
14.) Sometimes at night when his host and the old man are looking for the demon stealing ninja, he never bothered to remember their name, his host will wander around his mind. After awhile he'll show up in front of the cage and just stare at him. The Kyuubi lays down and gets comfortable because he knows it's going to be awhile. They don't say anything. After a couple of days the brat actually sits down against the bars. At least he doesn't stare at him anymore, it was getting a bit weird. When the Kyuubi lays his back against the bars of the cage to go to sleep he thinks nothing of it. After two weeks of doing this, the brat gets up to leave earlier than usual. When he lifts up his head and looks at his host, he's smiling. The brat just says 'thank you', and leaves. The Kyuubi just sighs and goes back to sleep. If he had to give some warmth to anyone, might as well be his kit, and yes, he doesn't even try to stop calling him that. It took to much energy.
15.) Kyuubi remembers when he did it, and why. They were about four days away from finding Madara and the only person that was going to help them was the crazy duck butt. Kyuubi wanted Madara dead, and he didn't want his host to kill the only help they had, not to mention that his host would probably crack if he accidentally killed the youngest Uchiha. So he made his host a half demon so he could control his chakra. The brat threw one hell of a hissy fit and it took the Uchiha to come into his mind and knock some sense into him to calm him down. When his host calmed down and made the Uchiha look at the added 6 blonde tails, pointed ears, claws, deeper whisker marks, and fangs, the look that he had in his eyes didn't escape the fox. The fox collapsed laughing and choked out a 'happy birthday brat' to the bewildered humans, well, mostly humans. The fox was just happy that the Uchihas really were going to die out during this generation. He begins to tolerate the last Uchiha that day, because he knows that he'll be seeing a lot more of him from that day on.
16.) When his host and the Uchiha finally get back to the village, they are taken directly to the council. When the Kyuubi hears that the two are going to be executed, he gets real angry, real fast. He didn't spend all that time and chakra keeping the kit alive for him to die like this. He pulls the brat into his mind and tells him to add another kanji on to the seal. When the kit shrugs his shoulders, because he thinks he has a low chance of survival, and uses his blood, didn't have a pen, to add the kanji to the seal. Then he tells him to use his chakra to make a shadow clone. When Naruto finally gets back to the real world and makes the clone, everyone has varying levels of surprise. Naruto, Uchiha, and the slug lady looked shocked. The ninja looked terrified, and the council looked liked they needed a new change of pants. When the red-haired man with nine red tails demanded that 'the blonde loudmouth' should not only not get killed but get hailed as a hero as well, he said it in the most charming way possible, with all of his fanged teeth to back it up. When he heard a low growl and turned around, he saw a pointed glare from Naruto. He sighed and demanded the same for the Uchiha. The next day, the town has a huge party for the two and started on the construction of the monument for the two ninja.
17.) When the kit is in his twenties, he finally trusts the fox enough to give him a shadow clone that he can use to get around without being there to watch his every move. None of the village questions the tall red haired man with red, slitted eyes and ears full of piercings. The bars certainly don't question their best customer. They especially love it when the ever smiling black haired, gold slitted eyed man with a gold loop in his left ear and a purple cat tattooed on his right arm joins his friend. When those two are together they'll drink the bar dry and pay amply for it. The hokage hates it because that means he'll have two drunk demons on his hands that always mess up his paperwork. His own is bad enough, but when he's with the cat, he's ready to go find the nearest sealing jutsu to lock up the dumb duo in a saki bottle for a couple centuries.
18.) When the new hokage decree's a law saying that he wants a temple devoted to foxes built in the town, Kyuubi spits out the saki he was drinking all over his friend and starts laughing at the looks of all of the council members. Naruto has a smile on and Kyuubi swears he can hear his head of guard, aka Snake, aka Sasuke, trying smother a laugh. Kyuubi can see the vehement denile right on the councils lips, until they look at him. The reason why his kit asked him to come to this meeting makes a lot more sense now. When Kyuubi finally bugs his host for the real reason for the temple, he finally cracks and says so that he can a place of his own to live. Even after the temple is built though, the Kyuubi still either crashes on his host's couch or on top of the fourth hokage head. Kyuubi really does it because he likes to get on their nerves, and if he can do that just by sleeping, why should he stop?
19.) Kyuubi kind of always liked the toad sannin. So when him and the cat see him trying to skulk around a bath house, they go and kidnap him and force him to stay and drink with them. It took awhile, but the old man finally loosened up and had a drink or two. When all three of them stumbled into his office completely and utterly plastered, Naruto loses it. Snake and the rest of the anbu have to tackle him to the ground and hold down all nine tails. Snake finally goes into his mind and does something to make his host blush when they get back to snap him out of it. Meanwhile the trio of old drunken men hadn't once stopped laughing. That was the day that the toad joined in on the weekly drinking day of the cat and fox.
20.) When his host finally dies, he fully releases Kyuubi. The kit died with a smile on his face after living for 208 years. The Kyuubi left the village to go back to his true plane. Somehow though, he always finds himself going back to the village and curling up in all of his fox demon glory on the sixth hokage's stone face. He'll even make an appearance on his kit's birthday when the seventh hokage starts the all day celebration for his kit. Seems his kit influenced the village more than he thought. Especially since now the village pays homage to him and all foxes in the temple, even though he nearly leveled it a couple centuries earlier. He'll never forget his kit and all that he did. He'll also make sure that the village hidden in the leaves will never forget his kit either. Coincidently, when a new red-haired temple keeper with slitted eyes places a huge statue of a blonde haired, blue eyed, nine tailed man and a statue of a brooding red eyed man with black stuck up hair and a snake mask in his hand right behind the blonde in the direct center of the temple, no one questions it.