Chapter 1

Title: When Will I matter

Description: Harry has a twin brother who is the one who can bring down Voldemort, so Lily makes the choice. Years later when his brother is in the spotlight Harry is still suffering from the affects of the attack.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter


Harry Potter was laying alone in his bed. He stared at the dark ceiling listening to the voices of his mother and older brother in the room next door. They where laughing and joking and telling stories. If James hadn't had to work so late tonight, he probably would have been in there too. Harry was only three years old (almost four actually) and he didn't understand a lot of things.

He didn't understand why his mother constantly stayed by his brother's side leaving Harry alone.

Or why every time Sirius would come over it was always him, his father, and his brother. Never Harry.

Harry was never included.

He didn't understand why his parents acted as if he weren't alive.

He didn't understand exactly what jealously was, but he knew what it felt like.

Jealously was watching his brother get presents for no reason. Or taken out for treats.

Jealously was watching everyone fawn over his brother while he sat in the background.

He didn't understand exactly was sadness was, but he knew what that felt like too.

Sadness was lying in bed every night, and never being tucked in or comforted.

He rolled over on his side as he heard his mother say good night to his brother. Lily's footsteps approached Harry's room and passed it. Leaving a hollow feeling in his chest like it always did.

Lily Potter was aware of her son as she passed his room again, like she did every night and felt the pang of guilt that she did every night. Lily knew that she should treat both her son with the same admiration, same went for James. But it couldn't be helped. Ever since Dumbledore had told them about the prophecy that was made shortly after her sons birth she had been worrying. In fact the Potters had been in hiding for the last three years. It was only in the last year or so that she had let James take up his old job. She was just starting to let her elder son (only by three minutes) out of her sight.

Dumbledore had been convinced that the prophecy had been made for Charles David Potter. Ever since he had been completely sure Lily hadn't take her eyes off the magnificent boy. He was going to be the savior against the dreaded you-know-who! When you compare that to 'just Harry' it was hard not to throw all your attention to one. But that wasn't why Lily and James focused more on Charlie, sure it was a reason but, no one knew exactly how Charlie's life would play out. Harry could live a normal life, but Charlie's days were numbered. Lily and James needed to be with their son as much as possible.

Just as Lily had reached the stair case Harry stepped out of his room.

"Mommy," he said hesitantly.

"Yes?" Lily asked in a tired voice. Not the same adoring voice she always used with Charlie.

"I had a bad dream." he whined.

"It was only a dream." said Lily impatiently.

"It was about a man with a snake face. He had red eyes. He scared me mommy," whispered the little three year old.

"Oh Harry, just try and go back to sle-"

The front door blasted open before Lily could finish.

"Oh Merlin!" she cried as she heard a crackling laughter.

"Mommy?" asked Harry.

"Follow me!" said Lily urgently running to Charlie's room, Harry trailing unsteadily behind her. She could only thank the heavens that her oldest child was out with her grandparents.

She grabbed up Charlie and scurried around Harry near by. But it was to late Voldemort was already in the hallway.

"James," Lily kept repeating to herself, "Oh Merlin, I need James."

Charlie's room door blasted open and there in all his horrible glory stood Voldemort.

"Come out come out where ever you are." he cackled.

Lily pressed Charlie closer to her chest while Harry stood near her knees shaking.

"Stupid girl," he sneered, "Where did you think you could go?"

"I won't let you have him!" Lily hissed.

"Won't let me?" Voldemort laughed without humor, "That's not in you decision."

He looked down at Harry and then back at Lily a cruel smile playing on his lips, "I will however let you pick which one you get to watch die."

Lily gasped, "You bastard, I will not choose."

Harry's head snapped up in surprise to look at his mother who had a determined look on her face.

Voldemort threw back his head and laughed, "You have been for the past three years my dear."

"Would you like me to?" he asked his eyes on Charlie's back, "I'm sure I can make it….painful."

Lily hugged tighter to her son, "You leave my son alone."

Harry looked up at his mother, 'son'?, what happened to just a second ago when it had been both of them.

"You realized it to?" asked Voldemort looking at Harry, "How sad. What are you three?"

"Take me," begged Lily putting Charlie down and shaking Harry off, "Please."

"That wasn't my offer. Does your tainted blood make you stupid?"

"Don't take Charlie. Please, the world needs him! Take me….anything but my Charlie!"

"Well then you've made your choice," said Voldemort, "I pitied your son," he said looking once again at Harry. He shrugged and raised his wand as Harry felt his heart sink.

Just like that? His mother gave him away.

"No! I didn't mean it….don't take my children." she sobbed.

"You only get one." he said, "If you don't choose I will pick Charlie."

"No!" screamed Lily.

"Then Harry?"

Lily remained silent, "I…..please."

"Harry it is."

"Crucio." shouted Voldemort.

Lily watched as Harry withered and screamed in front of her. She sobbed and held on tightly to Charlie who was crying too. Voldemort was doing this to torture her, not Harry, she just knew it. She watched her son for a full ten minutes wither under Voldemort's spell.

"Harry," whispered Lily.

Harry felt tears slide down his cheek. His mother caught his gaze for a brief seconds before looking away. He understood, Lily was giving him up….in exchange for Charlie.

"I'm sorry," Lily muttered as Voldemort did the Crucio spell again.

By the time he was done, the three year old was broken. Lily was sobbing along with Charlie.

Green light filled the room. The cruel laughter turned into a scream of anguish and frustration. It mixed in with three separate screams.


Harry James Potter woke up with a start. He took slow deep breaths and looked around. He was in St. Mungo's, he found with relief. He sighed and fell back against his pillow. The room was dark and medically scented, it was almost enough for a person to taste the awful healing potions. He hated it. He hated coming to St. Mungo's because of his 'condition'. He turn over to on his side. Harry Potter was eleven years old, old enough to start going to Hogwarts in September (If his blasted letter ever came), old enough to care for himself, and old enough to have such a vast knowledge of the magical realm that even Remus Lupin had a hard time keeping up. Even though he was old enough for all these things he still didn't understand many things.

He didn't understand exactly was sadness was, but he knew what that felt like too.

Sadness was lying in bed every night, and never being tucked in or comforted.

Sadness was feeling like he had no family.

Sadness was knowing that he was the piece of the puzzle that had been forced in the set by a five year old. The piece that had been punched and slammed, messing up the arrangement of all the other puzzles.

He didn't know why he was unwanted. He had a guess though. Charlie 'The-Boy-Who-Lived' Potter was a legend. Charlie was the one who vanquished the dark lord. Charlie would be the one to finish him off when he returned. Harry Potter? No one even knew who he was. How could Harry blame his parents, or friends, or anyone? He could never live up to the legacy that his brother had laid out.

Charlie was everything Harry was not. The only thing they had in common was their nose, (so proclaimed by Sirius Black). Charlie was the spitting image of his mother, except for her eyes. Harry was the duplicate of James, with his mother's eyes. Charlie was arrogant, boastful, and loud. Harry was silent, thoughtful, but outgoing in his own way.

Through the window Harry watched the moon. He wanted to be home, at least there he had a sanctuary. His room filled with magical books and comics, posters of his idols, and his own comfy bed. Instead he was here, trying to have nightmare less dreams on the hardest bed known to man.

Harry Potter was sick. Only people very close to the Potters knew that though. People like Dumbledore, Severus Snape (who was close to Lily), Remus, and Sirius. After being tortured as a baby by Voldemort Harry had developed a strange sickness that no healer could cure. Harry Potter was going to die and it was only a matter of time.

It was ironic to him in some ways. Back when he was a baby his parents had claimed to spend all their time with Charlie because he would die someday, now that it was sure that Harry would die soon his parents had not bothered spending much more time with him.

His heart was weak, but he had survived the attack from voldemort too, hadn't he? Wasn't that worth anything to his parents? Would it ever be worth anything to his parents? Would it have made a difference if he had died?

Harry closed his eyes and snoozed on. Comforting himself with the thought of being able to go home the next day.


Harry watched his mother make pancakes while his father and brother messed around. Harry sat on the couch in their living room, like a spectator. He had gotten home earlier that morning, his father had picked him up from the hospital and he had been on the couch ever since. He looked down at the glass table and stared at this reflection. He pushed his bangs up to look at the lightning bolt scar upon his forehead. He had had it for as long as he could remember. His mother told him he had gotten it from the residue magic that had bounced off Voldemort when his brother had saved them all.

James Potter was sitting at the morning table reading the paper. He had skipped the whole front cover because it had talk nothing except about some Wizarding Band that was returning from their tour in America. His youngest son Ben came down the stairs first. He looked tired and yet some what excited. The six year old smile at his father and said his good mornings. He had dark brown hair and eyes, he was skinny for his age even though he ate like a pig. He sat down and began making his own cereal. Next down the stairs was Peirce his nine year old son. Peirce had red hair and dark eyes. A couple freckles colored his cheeks but not to many. Charlie came next in all his red hair glory.

James felt with a pang how different he and his twin had looked. Harry had had his hair, face, and his mothers eyes. Charlie was the exact opposite, Lily's hair and face with his eyes. Actually the only one of his children to ever receive Lily's eyes was Harry. He remembered how when they first got him Harry had grabbed his finger and smiled at him. Charlie had only cried when James tried to hold him. Yet they had no problem throwing Harry to the side to take care of Charlie.

Of course his eldest daughter was the last to wake up, she was such a teenager, to put it in Sirius's words.

"Dad do you have work today?" asked Ben.

"Nope, I'm free." said James.

"You wanna play Quidditch with me and Peirce? Uncle Sirius can come and play too."

"Wait a minute?" growled Peirce, "Who said I wanted to play?"

Peirce was getting into that stage when he wanted nothing to do with his younger brother but was trying desperately to become his own individual.

"I'm sorry son," said James as he ruffled his youngest son's hair, "I've got some business to take care of today."

"But you said you weren't going to work," groaned Ben as he shoved some sausages in his mouth.

"He's got to take me to the ministry." sneered Charlie.

Ben stuck his tongue out at the boy and Lily caught is. She scowled at him but Ben didn't let up.

"Fine, uncle Sirius might want to play anyway…I'll call him-" began Ben.


"No need," said Sirius Black sitting down next to James. Lily smiled at Sirius as she sat down at the table, "Good morning Sirius." she said turning on the wireless radio.

"Mornin' Lils." said Sirius taking a sip of coffee.

"James I'm taking Charlie to Diagon Alley today after you get back from the ministry. The boy needs some new robes." said Lily.

"I will definitely try to remember that." said James putting the paper down.

"Dad I desperately need some new clothes." said Alicia as she came down the stairs looking drowsy.

"Alicia, were you up all night talking to Jamie?" asked Lily.


"She was up all night talking to Scott." said Peirce laughing.

"I was not!" said Alicia.

"Young Lady do not make me take that fire place out of your room…do you hear me?" asked Lily.

"Yes mom." Her eyes traveled through the kitchen and landed on the paper. She let out a loud screech that made everyone in the kitchen jump.

"OH MY GOSH! THEY ARE FINALLY COMING BACK!" she seized the paper and squealed again, "They better be in the next issue of Teen Witch."

"Who exactly are we going deaf for?" asked Sirius who had been right next to Alicia.

"Duh Uncle Sirius, only the greatest wizarding band ever-"

"The Weird Sisters?" asked Sirius innocently.

"No! Spell-22." Alicia rolled her eyes.

"T-W-E-N-T-Y T-W-O" said Sirius.

Ben and Peirce chuckled.

"No it's the name of the band smart-ass." said Alicia.

"Alicia!" scolded her mother absentmindedly as Sirius chuckled to himself.

"Sorry uncle Sirius." groaned Alicia as she became engrossed in the paper article.

Harry sat and watched his family with a slight feeling of loneliness. It was easy for his family to forget about him. He was so quiet and sickly that even when he was standing right in front of them they barely acknowledged him. They stilled put Charlie over all their children however each child had his or her own way of dealing with it. Alicia, for example, who was already sixteen, made up for it by being as loud and rebellious as possible. It was hard to ignore her in that aspect. Peirce, who was frequently called Wesley (because it was his middle name) made it part of his M.O. He pretended to be cool calm and collected while being the misunderstood Potter that was over shadowed by his big brother's fame. It worked surprisingly well for the ladies, and besides Peirce was always trying to pretend he had no ties to his family, he was just in that stage. Then Benjamin, who was the youngest, made up for it by asking lots of questions and being the adorable buddle of joy he was. It was hard to ignore him when he was using the puppy dog eyes.

Sure their parent's world revolved around Charlie, the-boy-who-lived, but the noticed their other three children.

Harry had not outstanding qualities that made him stand out.

Unless you counted how smart he was.

Spending a whole lifetime in the hospital made it very possible for Harry to read a lot. He spent full days reading about the world outside his hospital room wall. Remus enjoyed that part of him.

Though Harry couldn't always count on his parents, or Siruis, or even Remus to realize he was alive there were two people in the world he knew would always be there.

One was his best friend, Lachlan Joseph Garibaldi. Harry and Lachlan had been friends since they were four, when Lachlan was admitted into St. Mungo's to fix an accidental spell that was cast on him by his twin sister Vienna Jeanne Garibaldi, that made his skin turn blue. Imagine how surprising it was for little Harry Potter when for the first time in his life someone actually stopped to talk to him (Even though at the time it was more like Lachlan's four year old mind was going on a rant). They spent the whole night talking until the next morning when Lachlan had to go home, imagine how large of a surprise when they moved in the house next door to the Potters the very next day. After that the two were inseparable.

Not to mention Mr. and Mrs. Garibaldi became more like parents to Harry then his own. They even took the time to visit Harry when he was trapped in the hospital for long periods of time.

Even Lachlan's older sister was nice to him, her name was Marisol Sierra Garibaldi.

At the age of six is when Harry really began wondering why his parents treated one of their children so much higher than the rest. He never ever saw Mr. or Mrs. Garibaldi do that to Lachlan, Vienna, or Marisol. They were all treated the same unless you counted that Marisol got to stay up later or stay out longer because she was a teenager.

He wanted to ask his parents why but he never found the courage to do so.

The second person that Harry was very close to, was Skandar Sirius Black, which was Sirius's oldest son. He was already seventeen years old and going into his last year of Hogwarts, he treated Harry like the little brother he never had. Though he did have a younger sister named Anyah Brayli Black who was only a couple mouths younger than Harry. He was over-protective of them both.

Whenever Harry was afraid of something Skandar was who he went too. He confined in everything with Skandar, he knew him better than anyone else.

Then there was of course Serverus Snape, his mother's oldest friend. Harry would like the man much more if he showed he cared for Harry in more obvious ways. He had enough people acting as if he weren't need as it was, he didn't need Snape to act just so he could keep up his image. Though he knew Snape would do almost anything for him, mainly because he still hated James Potter and Harry was the only one of his children who didn't have anything in common with him other than his looks and his loyalty to his friends.

Harry sighed as he watched his family and Sirius joke and play around. Well it was more his siblings joke with Sirius while his parents worried over Charlie.

It was then that Harry felt a sharp pain hit his chest.

Harry shook his head.

This sort of thing happened all the time. It came and went very quickly always in his chest with his weak heart.

However it happened again, this time not in his chest, but at his forehead where his scar was.

Harry groaned as he stood up to alert his parents however he tumbled to the floor as his head exploded with pain.

He hit the ground hard but it was nothing to the pain he was experiencing in his head, he moaned and twitched on the floor arching his back from the pain.

"Harry?" came a far away voice.

That was Peirce, it had to be Peirce.

"MOM! DAD! Something is wrong with Harry!" he shouted.

Harry heard his parent's footsteps, they hadn't even bothered running to help him

"Shoot, we've got to get him back to St. Mungo's." he heard his father say as his head throbbed.

"One of us has got to stay with Charlie." said Lily.

"Don't worry about Charlie!" Screamed Harry in his head, "For once in your life think of your other children. Charlie is fine, I'm dying!…I'm….dying."

Which was the last thought he had before he blacked out from the pain.


Harry opened his eyes slowly and was dismayed to see himself in the hospital again, he was so upset he almost began crying. He was alone again, he was all alone-

"Finally," came a familiar voice, "I thought you had gone ahead and croaked!"

"Lachlan!" scolded another.

Harry turned his head to see the whole Garibaldi family sitting there, excluding Mr. Garibaldi.

"Hello dear," said Mrs. Garibaldi, "How are you feeling?"

"Better thank you." said Harry.

He didn't have to ask where his parents were, he knew they were home with Charlie.

"Harry we were so worried," said Vienna, "The healers didn't know what was wrong with you."

"I'm ok now Vinnie," yawned Harry as he stretched, "It was just a very bad headache."

"Well since you are fine," said Lachlan, "Guess what I got?"

Harry looked at him interested.

Lachlan pulled out a letter from behind his back with a smile. Harry took it and found on the back the official Hogwarts seal.

"You got it!" Harry cried.

"You betcha and that's not all!" said Lachlan as he pulled out another letter.

Harry took it and stopped in shock.

"I snagged it from your house before we came."

"Lachlan Joseph Garibaldi! You told me that Harry's sister asked you to bring it to him!" scolded Mrs. Garibaldi.

"Mom I had too, Harry needed some good news." whined Lachlan.

Mrs. Garibaldi looked less annoyed with her son but she gave him a meaningful look.

"This is mine?" whispered Harry.

"Yeah aren't you Harry James Potter?" Lachlan asked pointing to the address.

"But everyone thought for ages I'd be a swib." Harry whispered.

"No way buddy, you and me we're going to Hogwarts!" said Lachlan clapping his friend on the back.

Harry felt happiness wash over him before quickly being replaced by sorrow.

"I can't." he said miserably.

"What do you mean you can't?" asked Lachlan.

"I'm sick, I can't go off to Hogwarts, I have to be close to St. Mungo's and-"

"Harry shut up," said Lachlan, "You are going."

"That's right dear, no one can keep you from going but yourself." said Mrs. Garibaldi.

"But I'm sick-" Harry began.

"So what?" asked Lachlan, "The stupid healers said you wouldn't live to see the age of four but you did! Look at you, you're old enough to go to Hogwarts now! You survived Lord Voldemort and if I know anything I know you are well enough to go to Hogwarts."

Mrs. Garibaldi gave a yelp as did Vienna.

"Sorry, Dad says his name." said Lachlan sheepishly.

"Well you say you-know-who." his mother warned.

"My parents can't stop me from going?" asked Harry hopefully.

"No dear." said Mrs. Garibaldi kindly.

"Harry you're going to Hogwarts." said Vienna with a smile.

Harry nodded as he felt tears in his eyes, "Yeah."


A/N: Just to clear it up.

Alicia Lillian Potter - 16

Charles David Potter (Charlie) - 11

Harry James Potter - 11

Peirce Wesley Potter (Wesley) - 9

Benjamin Frank Potter (Frankie/Ben)- 6

Tell me what you think.