Pairing: Superman ad Wonder Woman. Do you even have to ask?!

Summary: Clark gets dumped by Lois, and his anger reaches a breaking point. Diana decides to take matters into her own hands and do something about it. Of course, she's got ulterior motives (evil, evil grin). I love messing around with my characters.

Disclaimer: DC owns the characters. I own squat. Unfair, but then that's life.


By Cael-El595

Clark had been a one-man army lately, and nobody wanted to mess with the Man of Steel.

Ever since Lois had walked out on him without a second glance back, choosing Richard instead, he'd been a sulking, angry Leaguer. And Darkseid had learned the hard way that you don't want to mess with an angry Kryptonian.

Superman had beaten him within an inch of his life, pounding his eyelids swollen shut, and had looked poised to rip his granite-like face right off his shoulders.

It had taken Wonder Woman's redoubtable powers of persuasion to talk him out of it, and safe to say, he wasn't in a good mood lately.

Actually, saying he was in a bad mood was missing the whole point of what a suck fest was.

And he was starting to lose his grip. It was only a matter of time before he finally lost his Zen-like self-control and accidentally incinerated someone with those smouldering eyes. It could be Lex. It could be Richard.

It could even be Bruce. God only knew how much they rubbed each other the wrong way.

Even Bruce had been wary. Of late, Batman was extra cautious not to antagonize Superman, and had largely stayed out of his way. It had always been the other way around.

But it was a different story now that the rules had changed, with Clark every bit as intimidating, if not more than Bruce. Wally was too scared to make a joke in his presence now.

Diana's heart sank seeing him like this. This man had always been so open, so honest, so…full of love for anyone who needed it, and here he was, forlorn and depressed. And angry as Tartarus. If she let this go on, Hades would soon be welcoming several new guests.

She knew she had to do something about it. This was her best friend after all. The one man she willingly followed into battle.

And he had been the only man for her once she had gotten over her little infatuation over Bruce. That man had been infuriatingly incorrigible, and had danced around until finally marrying Zatanna of all people.

Diana couldn't bring herself to hate, or even blame Zee for that. After all, it wasn't her fault that Bruce had fallen completely for her. In other words, she'd never planned on stealing Bruce's heart.

Besides, Diana herself had come to the realization that what she'd thought she felt for Bruce paled in comparision to what she now felt for Kal.

Superman, the hero, had already earned her admiration and respect during those early years when they established the League and fought back all those threats together.

Initially in awe of his immense power, in due time, she found herself more and more attracted to Kal, the man behind the hero. His face that rivaled Adonis', his godly physique that was worthy of a true warrior, his beautiful cerulean eyes, that boyish smile, his tender warmth and compassion…they kept invading her thoughts, even in her sleep. She dreamt of being held in his powerful, warm arms, caressed by those long fingers, kissed by those sweet lips.

The 'invasion force' was now occupying her heart, and a distracted Amazon was a danger to the entire League. Something had to be done, for his own good, and the good of the League.

At least, that's what she told herself.

She often felt his eyes upon her and that was part of the torment. He was definitely thinking about her as well, that was obvious. Why wouldn't he just come out and say it? He was Superman, a leader of heroes, who saved the world day in and day out, and incapable of fear. Surely he couldn't be…shy?

There was little privacy on the job, true, and constant fighting and negotiating was a bit of a dampener, but once back at Watchtower, things weren't any better. They were both free now, yet he wouldn't make a move. Kal was beginning to be as frustrating as Bruce, and she couldn't even strong-arm him to have her way. She knew too well by now how that would turn out.

Finally she could stand it no longer. She had to talk some sense into him. One day, after a peace mission on Almerac where she had to endure Maxima's icy stares, she finally confronted him in the Monitor Womb.

"Kal," She began. "I am a woman." He looked at her, visibly surprised and perplexed at where she was going with this.

"I think that's fairly obvious. I'm not as dumb as Bruce thinks," he said.

"You are a man."

"Yes?" He still didn't have a clue.

"We both have needs."

"Are we talking about spiritual needs? Are your Gods troubling you? Material needs? Or uhh… physical needs?" He did his best to keep his voice level, but she caught the giveaway tinge of red creeping up his cheeks.

"Physical needs," she said firmly in her best warrior voice, feeling hot in her own face.

"Do you want to spar again?"

"Zeus, no!" she snapped. This wasn't going well. Not going well at all.

"Kal, I feel…I feel…well, Hera help me, I accidentally brushed up against Lantern in the cafeteria this morning and I nearly grabbed him right then."

Clark swallowed and hurriedly looked away.

"Should I talk to him about this?" he whispered, barely audible even to her meta-human ears.

"NO!" she inhaled deeply. "Kal, surely you must know you're a very desirable man."


"I have desires for you, Kal."

He was silent, probably wishing he were facing Mongul instead.

"I want to make love to you, dammit."

"Diana, I… that is… um…. very flattering, but I must refuse …this honor."

"What! Why?"

He refused to even look her in the eye but just kept staring out the window at the endless void, picking out stars and nebulae and systems that only his eyes could see.

"I am not worthy," he said in a low voice and then he left.

By Hades, this was ridiculous. She'd had enough of Aphrodite playing with her like this.

She hovered back and forth in the air and felt the frustration and anger building up. What was wrong with the man?

And it wasn't like she was the only one smarting, she saw the tension in his posture, the tightness in his face, in the way he moved. That man needed to get laid, by Aphrodite, and the sooner the better. And as for her…soon even Bruce's life would be in jeopardy.

Suddenly she noticed Shayera hovering beside her in that uncanny way she had of showing up whenever she had a need. Well, just about every need but that.

"Sister," she said, thinking quickly. "I could use your help with a tricky mission."

"Sure, Princess."

She intimated her plan to the Thanagarian.

An hour later, Wonder Woman was alone in the conference room when Hawkgirl brought Superman in. She waited for him to sit in the chair across from the Amazon, and then went to stand in the doorway in her usual stance, wings spread out, Nth metal mace crackling.

"What's going on?" he asked, looking at the Princess, "Diana?" he queried rather warily and she knew their previous little tête-à-tête was still playing on his mind. He glanced back at Shayera and her presence did absolutely nothing to reassure him.

"I need to know something from you, Kal, and I need you to answer me honestly and frankly."

He visibly bristled at that.

"I never lie." he answered tightly, his voice edgier than it had ever been with her.

"Good. Let's begin, shall we? Are you physically attracted to women or to men?"

"What?!" His jaw dropped as he turned to Shayera, who was wearing an expression of indifference. Diana gave him a fierce glare.

"Answer the question, please."

"Women of course."

"Very well. Do you find me, as a woman, physically attractive? At all?"

"What is the purpose of all this?" he asked rather weakly, his voice strangled with his discomfort.

"Answer the question, Kal. Please."

"Yes." He was barely audible once again.

"That's good. And have you taken a vow of celibacy to your god Rao by any chance?"

"You're crossing a line here, Princess!"

"Answer my question," she said pleasantly. She was starting to feel a twinge of guilt for doing this. But she saw no other recourse.


"Fine. Is there any… physical impediment to your consummating a relationship?"

"Princess!" he was clearly too alarmed and embarrassed to use her name now.

"Yes or no, Kal."



Through the whole interrogation, Shayera had maintained a poker face, but there was a gleam to her eye that was most satisfying for the warrior princess. "Kal, you leave me no choice. Shayera?"

She opened the door to Diana's chamber and signaled. Zatanna and Dr. Light immediately filed into the conference room. The latter carried a small device that resembled a cell phone, immediately bathing the room in red light.

Clark knew at once that he was cornered.

"Superman," Diana was keeping her tone as formal as possible given her own turmoil, "You're hereby placed under my custody. Take him away."

"What?!" He allowed the sorceress, the scientist and the former lieutenant to pull off his cape, but he gave me an agonized look.

"But what's my sin?" he cried. "What have I done?"

"Nothing," she said. "And that in itself is a sin."

He didn't say anything when Zatanna removed his boots but he vigorously protested when Dr.Light pulled off his top. Diana shot him her best no-nonsense glare, doing her best to mimic her formidable mother.

"Kal, they are obeying my orders."

"Come on, this can't be legal!"

The man had a point. Maybe she shouldn't let them relieve him of his trousers as well. Yet.

The slightest imperial wave of her hand and Zatanna gestured, "YRRAC MIH OT EHT 'SSECNIRP MOOR!"

Before he had a chance to bolt, he found himself floating to the Princess' large bed and in no time, his wrists securely fastened to the bedposts by her golden lasso. Zee quirked an eyebrow in a question, should they bind his feet? Diana shook her head, raising an eyebrow of her own at the tantalizing prospect.

"That's enough," she smiled at her friends. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, Princess." Zee gave her a sly wink. The woman had been invaluable in this. Diana hoped she could return the favour someday.

She punched in the no access code into the door and looked down at her prize.

Kal was angry all the time these days but he glared up at her and for a moment she felt the full blast of his wrath. No heat vision yet, but his indignant glare burned her nonetheless.

She felt like a horrible person for doing it, but...well, these were dangerous times and this was for the safety of the League. Really.

She dimmed the light in the room.

"Do you plan on keeping me here by force?" he asked. She just smiled at him and then slowly stripped out of her boots, her bustier, and her bottoms. And there she stood before him, in all her glory.

Clark quickly looked away but his face was on fire. Now that she was naked, she turned on her shower, the hot water creating a tingle on her alabaster skin. But nothing could match the shiver that went through her at having him here, all vulnerable and at her mercy like this.

Although he wasn't watching her, he could hear the sounds of the water and steam and the damp towel. She hoped they tortured him. She was certainly torturing herself.

Coming out of the shower, she finally stopped dabbing herself and let go of the towel. She pulled out a Grecian urn from her cupboard and began stroking the fragrant liquid over her body.

"Do you like the scent of this oil?" She asked. "Aphrodite's special gift to me." He definitely could. The aroma of the lotion filling his nostrils mixed with her own sweet jasmine scent was setting his blood on fire.

He remained silent, more taciturn than ever, afraid he might say something reckless and embarrass them both. This had seemed like a good idea to her, but he was so angry and embarrassed that she was beginning to loathe herself for putting him through this.

But this was a desperate situation if she'd ever been in one, and this was the only possible path she saw that led anywhere worthwhile.

"Come on Kal," she said. "I'm sorry. I lost my head. Let's make a deal."

He turned his head to look at her, and then averted his eyes from his naked as a newborn friend. A gorgeous, perfectly proportioned friend, that honestly speaking, he didn't really want to tear his eyes away from.

"I want to rub you down with this," she offered. His eyes narrowed at that, and she continued, "Just above the waist, okay? When I'm done, I'll untie you and you can do whatever you deem fit. You can strike at me, you can tell me off, you can choose to never speak to me again. But I really have to do this first. Please." Her voice broke a little at the last part.

That did him in. He could never bear to hear her in distress. Kryptonite and magic weren't his only weaknesses and she knew she had him now. His jaw softening in the slightest, and his expression following suit, he turned his gaze back towards her.

"Oh all right," he whispered.

She knelt on the bed beside him with the urn in her hands. His legs were free and he could have pinned or kicked her, but he didn't. And then, she straddled him.

His startled eyes flew to her, his face like a deer caught in a car's headlights. Or any male caught in Artemis' sights, she thought. Wriggling into a comfortable position on his… lap, she uncorked the urn.

"I'm not hurting you, am I?"

"No," he gasped. "But this isn't fair. You've got me tied up."

"Sorry. Can't risk you running away before I'm done can I?"

Pouring some of the oil in her hands, she looked down. She was in a new quandary now. Where to start? She was spoilt for choice. His arms were tied over his head and his shoulders looked so tense that they seemed a good place to begin. Years of absorbing the sun's rays and countless sparring sessions with her had made his shoulders and arms very impressive and she dug her thumbs in hard as she kneaded the muscle.

"You might as well relax. You're too tense for this to work, you know that? Ease up, you might actually enjoy this," she offered, taking her own sweet time and working from his right shoulder to his biceps.

She would have loved to massage his hands but she couldn't reach them, not the way he was tied. She loved Kal's hands. Large, long and supple, they'd provided her enough fantasies, having her dream of those hands holding her, touching her, sending her into ripples of passion with those dexterous fingers of his. A deep sigh escaped her lips.

She lifted her gaze from his hands to find Kal watching her. For the first time in longer than she could remember, the anger had faded from his eyes. The old Kal. The man she had lost her heart to. The man she could simply lose herself in whenever she was with him.

"Diana," he hoarsely managed to get only one word out as she planted a hungry kiss on his lips to silence him and forced his mouth open; popping the hazelnut filled, rich, dark chocolate into his mouth and started on his left shoulder. The aromatic fumes of the soothing oil wafting into his nostrils, carrying her own intoxicating fragrance was doing absolutely nothing to help his cause, the heady feeling really getting to him now. That coupled with the rich taste of the rightly proclaimed food of the Gods on his tongue, was too much to bear. This was a truly exquisite torture for him.

She could feel his eyes still upon her, but she concentrated on the task at hand and did not meet his gaze. Taking her time, using a firm touch on his rippling muscles, she leisurely worked the oil in, the excruciating delight starting to truly overwhelm him.

When she finally reached for the urn again, she saw that he was still watching her, but his eyes weren't on his face. They were trained further south. Squirming a little on his lap, as if to get more comfortable, she poured more of the effervescent fluid onto her palm. His breath quickened and he desperately pulled at the lasso that held him.

"You really ought to untie me now." He demanded, his voice hoarse in a way that sent her wild.

Her lips began to curve up and she began rubbing oil into the flat muscular planes of his chest. She leaned ever so slightly forward, thereby increasing the pressure where she straddled him, and he gasped. There were definite stirrings in his nether region and she could feel her own pulse start to race as she moved a bit more.

She stroked he palms gently along his sides and he jerked violently, like a chained animal or a rodeo's wildest bronco.

"That tickles," he gasped, his voice even raspier now. Her smile turned devilishly wicked as she stroked even more delicately. She couldn't help herself. Amazon Princess or not, she was still a woman. He bucked underneath and she pressed my knees tighter at his waist to hold on.

"Great Rao," he groaned as he pulled at the ropes again. "Let me up." His tone was insistent now. She shuddered at the tone.

Here she was thinking he pretty much was up, humph, but maybe that wasn't what he meant.

"Oh, if you insist," she said. His back arched when she traced a line along his waist and she very reluctantly pulled her hands away and stood up. Her hands were oily and the knots were pulled tight and she had difficulty loosening them.

"Hurry up," Kal said, the urgency in his voice reaching into her.

After what seemed like an eternity for both of them, she finally managed to undo the knot.

"Eek!" she dropped the lasso with a squeaky yelp when without warning, Clark grabbed her around the waist and dropped her on the bed. In a microsecond, he'd reversed their earlier positions, grabbing her wrists and pinning her under his larger frame.


"Minx," he growled, but his wonderful eyes were dancing mischievously and it was his turn to straddle her. He was finally smiling, a smile of pure contentment, like the cat that got the cream.

He stared down at her. She could already feel the strain begin in her shoulders. It was…exhilarating.

"Are you going to tie me up?" she asked archly, trying to use what she thought was a very seductive tone. From the look in his eyes, it seemed to be working.

"No." Then his fingers ran slowly, delicately along her side, from her waist towards her armpit and she bit her lip and writhed, fighting not to scream out with ecstasy.

"Ticklish?" he asked again, his voice now gently teasing, reverberating down to her very core.


He chuckled.

"Wonder Woman's not supposed to lie, Princess." His smile grew devilishly wicked, now and she found it irresistible.

Then he scooped her up in his arms, and his lips covered hers. It was far better than she'd ever envisioned, his soft lips delicate and teasing on her own. She found herself responding in kind, opening her mouth to his probing tongue. And then…and then…

And then he did his bit for the good of the League, and to make the universe a safer place. And he finally earned his nickname- the Man of Steel.

The End