Title: Monopoly Wars
Summary: Sequel to Scrabble Wars. What do the boys do, alone in a hotel room on a rainy night with a Monopoly game? R&R
Disclaimer: Foul language, the f-bomb's dropped a few times. Also, I don't own SN or Bawitdaba by Kid Rock, I just use them as inspiration kthx. References to Season 1 episode with the shapeshifter in it.
A/N: I'm baa-aack. I know you missed me. I don't think this is going to be very long, probably just two chapters, so enjoy it while you can, hehe. Love you guys, PLEASE PLEASE review, they keep me going.
Chapter 1: The Monopoly Board
"It's…it's beautiful," Dean said reverently, looking down at the table as if an angel from heaven was resting its cherub self on the surface. "It really makes you think that God exists."
Sam sat on the bed staring at the TV, quirking an eyebrow. "Dean? It's a Monopoly board."
"But seriously, how lucky do we get?" Dean lifted a finger and gently wiped off a trail of dust on the old, rotting Monopoly box. "We're stuck in the hotel tonight because of all the crappy rain, but I magically pull open the closet and find Monopoly!"
"Yeah, the Monopoly fairy must have made a special round just for you,"
"Turn off the sarcasm, Francis, you know you want to play," Dean settled himself at the table with a flourish, shaking out his arms in preparation. "Remember when we were kids and you got that Monopoly set for Christmas?"
"Yeah, whatever happened to that?" Sam intoned. "Oh, right, my big asshole brother took it to school and lost it on the bus."
"Actually, I didn't lose it, Monica Peterson asked for it and I gave it to her."
"What?" Sam sputtered, finally turning away from the TV to stare at his nonchalant brother, who was gently removing the lid from the box, wrinkling his nose at all the dust. "What the hell were you smoking?"
"Nothing, I was only like 13, I think I had my first cigarette when I was 15 but damn, that shit's nasty,"
"Oh, I didn't know you'd ever tried a cig—wait, shut up. Why did you give it to MONICA? And how do you still remember her name?"
"Wasn't she the chick you invited to your birthday party and she totally dissed you?" Dean gave a fond smile of remembrance at the memory. "She totally called you a grasshopper head, dude, I always thought your head looked like a grasshopper's too,"
"I hate you."
"No you don't."
"Why'd you give it to her?"
"She asked for it."
"So you gave it to her?"
"She was hot."
"So you gave it to her?"
"Obviously. Good observations."
"So if some hot chick asks for the Impala, I should give it to her?"
"Dude! You didn't even notice it was missing until you were 12!"
"You didn't answer my question."
"Because you wouldn't do that."
"Don't put it past me."
"Aww don't be like that, Sammy, look, here's a new Monopoly set for you! Come on, let's play," Dean bounced up and down in his seat in an infantile way.
"I'm giving away your car."
"No you aren't."
"Yes I am."
"No you aren't."
"Come on, Samuel, what are you planning on doing for the rest of the night anyway? Don't tell me that you're gonna sit there glued to the Discovery Health Channel or whatever the hell you watch."
"No shit? I was just kidding, I didn't think you were that lame,"
"It's not lame, sorry if I enjoy education."
"Sorry if I enjoy education."
"That's not how I sound, Dean,"
"That's what YOU think,"
"If I play for like half an hour with you, will you shut the hell up and stop acting like a five year old?"
"Yeah, I'll try to act more my age," Dean said distantly, tuning the old radio sitting on the table. "Hey, turn that shit off," he aimed at Sam, who muttered to himself and switched off the TV.
Dean smacked the radio. "Damn, why doesn't the volume work on this thing?" he said gruffly, smacking it again, only to jump five feet in the air when the music blasted out louder than Sam's singing in the shower.
"WELL NOW IT WORKS, AND I'M DEAF."
"Shut up, Sammy, damn, you ruin everything. It's Kid Rock!"
"No way. Don't say that to me."
"Kid Rock? Who has a name like that?"
Dean closed his eyes, nodding his head in time to the music. "Yeah baby, Bawitdaba is a classic,"
"What did you just say? Did you just cuss at me?"
"It's a song, you dumb shit. God, how are you my brother."
"This is music?" Sam gestured at the radio, which was now blaring Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy diggy said the boogy said up jump the boogy. "Seriously?"
"Wait for it…wait for it…"
My name is KIIIIIID. ROCK!
"YEAH!" Dean jumped up out of his chair and punched the air, startling Sam enough to make him trip over his own feet.
"Dean. What are you doing."
"It's called air guitar, shut the hell up, this is my song,"
"No, from what you're telling me, some guy named Kid Rock wrote this song,"
"Dean, you look like a drunk epileptic,"
Dean gave him a sour look, immediately ending the headbanging. His little boy pout was perfectly practiced; after all, it was Dean who had taught Sam the way to get what he wanted. He switched off the radio, glaring in the immediate silence that followed. "Why do you have to ruin everything? God, I just lost the flow,"
Sam guffawed. "You…WHAT?"
"I lost the flow! You downgraded the rhythm with your negative vibes,"
"What?" Sam could barely get the words out; he had to sit on the floor before succumbing to a fit of laughter. Dean could see no humor in the situation, he was simply stating the truth. Some people have no respect for the music, Dean thought to himself, cracking his knuckles menacingly. It probably hurt his pride a bit more when one of his knuckles caught and he yowled in pain.
Sam's hysterical laughter enveloped the room, and Dean looked down at him in distaste. "Just an FYI, dude, you're rolling around on my dirty underwear,"
Sam was up in a flash, dashing around the room swatting his rear end. "Why the FUCK would you leave that on the FLOOR?" He whimpered in disgust, tempted to rip his pants off.
Dean held up his old Jockeys by the elastic band. "Oh, what? These old things? What was that, Sammy, no, you can't have them to use in your secret admiration voodoo rituals, I'm gonna use these again,"
"Hopefully after WASHING them, you freak of nature," Sam quickly retreated into the bathroom as Dean followed him, holding up the dirty underpants. "Have I mentioned that you're disgusting?"
"Have I mentioned that you don't have any friends?"
"Like you're one to talk," came the muffled reply from behind the bathroom door. Dean stopped and glared a hole through it.
"I have friends!"
"Yeah, Dean, why don't you name a few,"
"She's MY friend!"
"Yeah well she sure as hell wasn't checking YOU out,"
"The shapeshifter that looked like you assaulted her. I'm pretty sure that negates any future relations you were planning on having with her,"
"Why do you talk like a forty year old dad? And you're just jealous a shapeshifter didn't want to turn into your ugly ass,"
"No it didn't."
"How do you know?"
"How do I know what?"
"That I'm not a shapeshifter right now!"
"Because a shapeshifter wouldn't talk like a forty year old dad,"
"It's also really hard to take a leak when my brother's having a conversation with me outside the bathroom door."
"Jesus Christ you're weird, if you had mentioned you were taking a piss when you started talking to me I would've shut up,"
"No you wouldn't,"
"Yes I would,"
"…Okay all better."
Sam opened the bathroom door after washing his hands, only to have a grinning Dean standing in front of the door holding up old underpants.
"Don't you dare."
"Oh, what was that? Sorry, can't hear you over the sound of my awesomeness,"
"DEAN!" Sam dashed to the other side of the room and grabbed the Monopoly board to defend himself.
"Oh come on, you know I can't defile that holy piece of cardboard,"
"Then lay off!"
"Fine." Dean threw the underwear into the bathroom.
"To think, we've spent the last twenty minutes in a pointless argument because you wanted to play Monopoly,"
Dean's face lit up. "I almost forgot! Come on, Sammy, siddown, let's let bygones be bygones,"
"Not until you wash your hands, you a-hole."
Dean stuck his hands in Sam's face. "You mean these hands?"
Sam slapped them out of the way. "You're so disgusting, that's like the time I walked in on you jacking off and you forgot to wash your hands before dinner,"
"How the fuck do you know I didn't wash my hands?"
"Because I knew you weren't going to so I watched to see if you went in the bathroom,"
"How do you know I didn't wash my hands in the kitchen?"
"That's a bad reason. They should've taught you that at Stanford. And please avoid talking about jacking off when there's a possibility of getting laid around, because that would definitely put a damper on my game,"
"Who the hell is around right now that you were planning on getting laid with?"
"Oh don't be creepy, please, incest isn't my thing,"
"Oh, right, sorry I forgot. I just assumed that you would be attracted to my sexy self because you ARE gay, after all,"
"I am not! God, Dean!"
"What's wrong with being gay? Are you a homophobe now too?"
"No! I'm just…not gay,"
"Whatever. Shut up and set up the board."
"You set it up."
"I will. You'd just cheat, you'd give yourself more money to start off with."
"Shut up, I wouldn't. Go away."
"No. You shut up."
"Just be quiet and set up the board so we can play."
"FINE. Someone's moody tonight, start your cycle early this month, Sammy?"
Sam's loud sigh could be heard all the way to the highway, and as Dean huffed and puffed and finally pulled out the pieces for Monopoly, Sam knew it was going to be a long night.
To be continued…