Summary: Ban is thinking about all that has happened and how Ginji is such a good friend. Non-yaoi.
Warning: Eeh, Ban is degrading himself?
Disclaimers: I don't own Getbackers.
Shido… Kazuki… Juubei… Emishi… hell, even Makubex. They all glare at me in secret; they all hate me. I can see it in their eyes. Eyes never lie. They hate me, and they aren't shy about it. Sometimes, I just hate them back. Sometimes I don't have the energy to hate them back. Sometimes, I just wished I hadn't offered Ginji a place on my side outside of Mugenjou. Every time I wish that I just hit myself though. So stupid to even wish a thing like that.
He's an idiot though, I don't deny that. He's whiny, he's clingy and he's hungry all the time. He gets tricked to easily, he's always smiling… but damn, that fucking smile melts me every time. His big, brown eyes just want me to fall on my knees and scream what did I do wrong??
Of course, I never do that. Just almost.
He loves me, and I don't get why. Everyone else seems to hate me. Himiko still don't like me, Monkey-boy never liked me, Threadspool just pretends to like me, his samurai just glares, and that shit-ass clown just follows stupid Monkey-boy. Paul doesn't hate me but that doesn't mean he likes me. I'm an asshole to Natsumi sometimes, so she likes Ginji more than me. Hevn hates me, I can see that. She just wants to give the job to Ginji and Ginji alone, but she knows the blonde idiot will just get sad and therefore gives it to me as well.
Sometimes, I wonder if I should just write a note (thank god I taught that idiot to read) and bolt outta town. Far away, where nothing and no one can reach me. Hell, drown myself in sea. I'm sure my grandmother would laugh her ass off because of it. I can see it in front of me, and keep hoping she'll choke and die herself.
Wishes, wishes. I never write that damn note, I never go to the sea to drown myself. I just sit on my ass and lets life go on.
Ginji loves life. He loves hearing the birds sing, the people around him, fuck he loves to see the sun go up. He interrupts my sleep so I can drive him to a place where we can watch sunrise. Or he can; I usually fall back asleep. Ginji shakes me awake once the sunrise is done, and always asks what's for breakfast. Hell, soon I don't want to answer him. We don't have fucking money, so we don't fucking eat. His friends hate me for that as well. I can't feed him well enough. Well, fuck you! It's not easy not being able to get a fucking job!
Sometimes I wonder if I should just take up on Paul's offer of a job-interview. At least we could sleep indoors at night and get around two meals a day. Three meals is too much luxury. I know I speak always about pride and stuff like that, but pride don't get you food! Pride is always for idiots, and I admit I'm a fucking idiot sometimes!
All this shit happens, and still I don't do anything to change it. Why not? Because of fucking Ginji. I remember asking him one day why the hell he was in the fucking car. He got sad and asked if I didn't want him as a partner anymore. I thwacked him over the head and rephrased it: Why the hell was he in this car with me when he can get a good job and fucking live like he wanted?? I admit I was cranky that morning, and had a headache on top of that. We hadn't eaten in two days, and Paul was a jerk. So I snapped at him.
After that things got a little blurry. I remember Ginji's scent as he hugged me. Don't ask me how he succeeded but he got me into the backseat and wrapped me up in the blanket there. He said later I had cried. I don't remember myself. I do remember though how fucking good it felt lying in his arms, and let him protect me for once.
For a while though we were doing better; if it's because of that fucking day I don't know. We got at least one meal a day, and I'm put away money for that huge tab to make Paul happy.
We didn't get a job every day, but almost. Then Hevn went ahead and screwed things up a bit after a while; she offered Ginji and Monkey-boy a job but didn't include me. Ginji got sad, but she thought I was in the bathroom and went ahead and told them she didn't want to give me jobs. Only problem was I hadn't been in the bathroom. I had been standing just a bit away, and had heard every bit of it. I admit that stung, hearing it from her. She noticed me standing there, and they noticed as well. Ginji had started getting up, but I was out the door before he reached me. Paul had said he had never seen one so stupid and reckless as me.
I got hit by a car. Paul was the first to reach me. He told me I hadn't moved or answered. My left arm had been broken, and three of my ribs on my left side. My left knee had crashed into the car and swollen up and my leg had twisted a bit.
I don't recall much of that, only Ginji's frantic screaming and the taste of my own blood in my mouth. I had reached out with my right arm, my cursed arm, and taken Ginji's hand. It was a bit tricky to open my eyes since I was so goddamn tired but I still did it. I had stared up at Ginji, not saying anything but squeezed his hand to show I was okay. After that I don't remember the rest of the day.
I got well after a week or two and could leave the hospital with my left arm wrapped up tightly and a warning to be careful because of my ribs. I was limping a bit, but nothing major. A lot changed once I got out from the hospital. Hevn never mentioned what she had said, and I never took it up. Monkey-boy didn't look at me with quite as much hatred as before, and Paul even told me I didn't have to repay him for the hospital bills… well, sometimes, miracles does fucking happen.
Ginji changed as well. He was taking care of me until I healed completely but our nights never changed; he would hold me as long as I was sleeping no matter what had happened.
I think back on it all sometimes. All the fucking shit that happened. How hatred disappeared, how friendship turned into some strange combination of guardian-son relationship where me and definitely Ginji didn't know who took care of who. We just… took care of each other.
Just as friends should.
I wrote this first, and then found inspiration to finish chapter nine of Getbackers: Remake. Hallelujah.
Hope you enjoyed this fic. Took me about a half-hour to write and I'm pretty proud of it. Non-yaoi for once.
Until another time,