Kenpachi X Sakura
Sakura Haruno was the strongest medical ninja of all of Konoha, true in every since of the phrase. Her vast power was only rivaled to that of the Hokage, who was ironically her sensei. She was the first one anyone went to whenever there was a problem or when anyone needed advice. Basically Sakura was the go-to girl whenever you had an issue.
And Sakura Haruno was more lost than when she was looking for Sasuke-bastard.
"God damn it…" The pinkette muttered under her breath, turning the map in her hands up and down, not understanding anything on the paper. She looked up to inspect the white, traditional style building to her left before looking back down to the paper. Sakura growled and crumpled up the map, she was surrounded by plain white buildings! Great, now she was god knows how late for that meeting Tsunade told her to go to.
"Don't screw this up, Sakura! This is more important than your life, Sakura!!" She growled under her breath, mimicking her sensei's exact words. So much for no pressure. Sakura seriously felt like ripping her hair out right then.
"Mommy?" Sakura stopped in her internal ranting and turned around; blinking when she saw what looked like a little twelve year old in Shinigami robes. The shinobi quirked an eyebrow at the strange resemblance the young girl had to herself, short bubble-gum pink hair that spiked out at the end with big innocent dark pink eyes. Sakura could have sworn she was looking at her future child, but who does she know have pink eyes…?
She shook her head of those thoughts before returning to the girl. "Excuse me…?" The girl smiled slightly before pointing at Sakura. "Mommy!"
"Err, what?" Sakura questioned before realizing what the young girl was saying. "Oh! You think I'm your mom! No, no; I'm not your mom, I'm too young! Do you need help finding her?"
The girl suddenly frowned before stomping her foot. "No, you're my mommy!"
Sakura shook her head. "No, I'm Sakura Haruno. I'm only sixteen, not only am I too young, if I had a child I'd be the first to know!" Her hands shot up in frustration. First she couldn't find the stupid meeting but now this kid…
She blinked once she noticed that big tears started to form in the child's overly large eyes. "M-m-mommy…?" Sakura started to panic.
"Ummm…ahhh…Okay! Fine! I'll be your mom!" She immediately regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth, but perked up slightly when the girl's tears stopped. "Mommy?" Sakura hesitated for a moment.
"…Not physically…?" The girl sprang up, jumping up and down so fast that the elder's head was hurting just from watching her. This girl was way too much!
"Yay! Yay!" The girl squealed, grabbing Sakura's arm with a surprisingly strong yank and began to lead the Haruno in the opposite direction then where she was originally going. The teen attempted to pull the girl off and explain in a calm and logical fashion that she had a meeting to get to but the little sugar nymph ignored any resistance and began rattling on, not seemingly caring that Sakura was an unwilling kidnap victim.
"I'm so happy!! Baldy always said that I would never find you, but I did!! But I should have known Baldy was wrong. Right mommy?? Oh we're gonna have soooooo much fun!! We have tea parties with Kenny, and-and-and we could fight hollows together and prank Clown-face!! Now I've got a mommy!! I mean Kenny is basically a daddy but…now…" The little girl trailed off as she came to a halt. By this point Sakura wasn't even trying to hide the fact that she was trying to get away as she attempted to pull her hand free of the devil-child's grip, even gathering a tiny amount of her chakra to strengthen her. But the child didn't even notice as she turned to the captive teen.
"Wait…if Ken-chan was like my daddy…and you're my mommy…" She paused and put a finger to her lip in thought. The elder vaguely hoped that the child's brain would explode from overheating or just short-circuit or something, but had no such luck.
"Then that means I have a mommy and a daddy!!" Sakura sweatdropped at the simplicity of the logic.
"Kenny's gonna be sooooooo happy that you're his wife!" The girl continued.
"Okay, hold on a second kid." Sakura growled, "For one, what's your name?"
"Yachiru." She could almost hear the heart at the end of that sentence.
"Okay, Yachiru, listen. I can't possibly be your moth…er…" There was a long pause before a loud screech echoed between the buildings. "…WIFE!?!?!?!"
Yachiru nodded her head enthusiastically. "Of course silly! How else are you gonna be my mommy! Though Kenny doesn't like it when I make decisions for him, but oh well! He always does what I want!!"
"No, no, no-"
"Kenny!!!!" The call echoed for only a moment before Sakura felt a dark and heavy presence behind her. Her eyes widened as Yachiru finally let go of her hand and jumped over her to the giant presence. For once in a very long while, the young shinobi was scared, to frightened to even move. It seemed like and eternity before she finally felt the courage to turn to the two, though Yachiru already wasted no time in filling in this "Kenny or "Ken-chan" or whatever in the latest events.
"…Yeah she's mommy and you're daddy so that means that you two are married and…"
All sound seemed to stop for the young teen as she gazed at this…thing. Could that even be considered human?? It loomed over the pinkette dangerously, it's one visible eye seemed to glare down the poor girl as if her looking at him was offensive. Of course it was obviously a him, and Sakura had the strangest urge to say 'put those away before you poke someone's eye out!' just from looking at his bare chest. Sound flowed back into her ears as Yachiru finished her story.
"…So what do you think Kenny????" Kenny growled in annoyance before scratching the back of his neck as he continued to inspect Sakura. Said girl let out a sigh of relief. Maybe this man actually had some reasoning, unlike the girl.
"…Well I have to admit she's cute…" Sakura only stared at him in disbelief.
"Is she strong?"
"I don't know!" The girl replied.
"Hey…um…what's her name?"
"Ya know, I don't know! Hey mommy, what's your name??"
"I already told you!!!" Sakura shouted as her fist began to shake and a vain began to bulge on her forehead. Was every Shinigami an idiot?!
"Oh!" The man exclaimed with a grin that made the teen shudder. "Feisty! You always gotta like a gal with spunk!"
"Oh really!? Spunk!? I'll show you spunk bud!! All I was trying to do was try to was get my ass to the stupid meeting, but nooooooo!! That little devil-spawn just had to go all 'Mommy? You're my mommy!' and I have had it up to here with-"
"Hold on a sec kid, meeting? You mean the meeting between the Shinigami and Shinobi?"
"Yes! That one!!"
"Oh I know where that is. We were just heading there before Yachiru wandered off, the little retard. Anyways, you're a Shinobi?" Sakura nodded and the man gave another terrifying grin.
"Shinobi kill people so you have to be strong!" The pinkette sweatdropped at the man, was fighting all this man thought about??
"Well sort of. I am pretty strong but I don't really kill people. You see, I'm a medi-"
"Mommy, Ken-chan, can I have a little sister?"
A long silence drifted into the air after Yachiru's question. Sakura looked up at the man only to see that he was actually contemplating it. She wasted no time in trying to back out and to hopefully escape but when both Shinigami looked up at her she stopped and gave of a nervous chuckle.
"Well! Would you look at the time!" She said as she continued to slowly inch away, "It seems I am very late for the meeting and my…sensei…" Another short pause flew by before Sakura turned fully around and began running as fast as she could; pushing all the chakra she could to her feet make her faster.
"TSUNADE!!!!!! NARUTO!!!!!! HELP!!!"
"Hey wait Haruno!!!! I just want to talk!!!" Zaraki yelled before taking off after the young frightened teen, Yachiru giggling as she clung to his back.
"Go Kenny, go!!"
There you go….
I'm so sorry!!!!! Please forgive me!!! –bows multiple times to readers and reviewers- I have no excuse for what I have done! So please don't hurt me!
Well now that that's over with, time to the actual author's comments!
I had a lot of fun with this one! I mean come on; you could totally see this happening. I mean what Yachiru wants Yachiru gets right? We can only pray for her safety…or for Zaraki's success! XD Who can catch the small and pathetic Sinbad reference? That is practicly the only thing i can remember from it.
And thank you Tsuka Chan for the cookies!! I shall cherish them always- WHERE'D THEY GO!!! –looks in mirror- Ohhhhhhhhhh. Damn.
We don't own anything. If we did a lot of people would be dead. Like Hinamori. And she isn't now is she? Maybe it's a good thing we don't own a thing, because if it was up to me there would be so much gay sex~!