I was so excited to take a shower. Edward had just taken me for a walk and I fell into a pile of dog shit. He assured me that I smelled fine, but I think that was just because he felt sorry for me…

Once I had finished cleansing canine feces off myself, I got a sudden craving for grapes. The best part was that the house was empty. Edward went hunting shortly after our walk and Charlie was torturing fish with Billy and Harry, who hasn't died yet. I wrapped a towel around myself and headed towards the staircase. I stopped short when I realized that no one would be able to hear me if…

"I'M TOO SEXY FOR MY TOWEL!" I belted to the tune of I'm Too Sexy For My Shirt. "AND EDWARD'S TOO SEXY FOR ME!" I began to strut down the stairs.

I walked into the kitchen and nearly threw up all over my half-naked self. WHERE DID ALL THE BALD MEN COME FROM? There were at least seven of them. I stood there for a good moment with my jaw dropped as far as humanly possible.

Charlie was the first to clear his throat awkwardly. "Er…Hey, Bells. I called the house but you didn't answer. The rain is just terrible so we, uh…we came back here."

"This aint no etch-a-sketch, Charlie! This is one doodle that can't be undid!" I cried.

He dropped his head. "I'm so sorry. I know how much you wanted that zebra."

"Yeah, well. Good night."

Here's the deal. My friend's in camp and she asked me to send her fanfiction...So i wrote her a one-shot.

This is not the original ending. Originally, I was gonna make her walk away nonchalantly, which I find really amusing.

This was more fun, though, because...well, that needs no explanation.

If you hated it, just pretend you never read it and move on.

&i claim no ownage to Juno. (the etchasketch bit)