Summer With the Cullens
By Holly-Batali

Disclaimer: I don't own the Cullens or anything else Meyer. If you've read Spring With the Cullens, then you'd know that (and you'd also know that I'm sick of writing disclaimers).

Chapter 1: Something Smells Fishy

The first thing that hit me when I walked into the Cullen's front room, after enduring the last day of school, should have been the peace and relaxation of summer break. No homework, no alarm clocks, no spiteful peers. Just me and the Cullens. But nooo. The first thing that hit me was the smell. Fish. Not the cooking kind, either. Stinky, very-much-alive fish. In the aquarium.

Oh, yes. They'd sprung for the aquarium. The big, dentist's-office kind of aquarium. Did I ever mention that I hate fish? Having killed so many as pets, I've developed a slight dislike to them.

But no. Everything that concerned the Cullens had to be like a childhood nightmare, constantly coming back to bite me in the butt. Suffice it to say, I'd gotten over my nervousness of vampires and werewolves quite a long time ago.

"...telling you, he's always going to be better. Just get over it, Emmett. You're fish sucks worse than you do." Ah, good old vampire humor. Jasper and Emmett walked out onto the front porch, apparently arguing over fish. Yes, fish. Of all the things to complain about, fish.

"Oh, hi Bella," they said in unison. Jasper jogged over to me and walked with me up to the house.

"So, Bella, I need your opinion on which fish is better." he said bluntly. "Mine, or Emmett's."

I stopped walked and blinked at him. "Pardon?"

He rolled his eyes impatiently and grabbed my left sleeve, tugging me into the living room to stand in front of the reeking monstrosity. He let go of my sleeve and pointed to a graceful, tropical-looking yellow, blue, and white striped fish. "See him?" said Jasper delightedly. "That's my fish. His name is General Lee." He looked extremely proud of his fish and I nodded in mock enthusiasm, trying to ignore the fact that he could read my emotions anyway.

"Yeah," I managed. "Yeah, he's great. Wow, that is uh...some fish."

"Pft. That's nothing," said Emmett, coming up behind us. You should see my fish." Emmett pointed to the other side of the tank, where a large, menacing-looking piranha-like thing with fangs was swimming. "That's Sherman," he said, smirking at Jasper, who was now openly sulking.

"Sherman?" Why 'Sherman,' of all names? Oh. "Oh, you mean, General Sherman from the Union army who kicked the Confederacy', who won a battle or too against the South?" Close call.

"Yup," said Emmett haughtily. "The same."

"Ohh, boy." I muttered. This was World War Three just begging to happen.

"So, now that school's out, what're you going to do?" I paused at Carlisle' question. It was still a little weird answering normal questions from Carlisle; he'd snapped out of his hippie phase a while ago, but he could still be seen occasionally meditating barefoot on a rock or footstool mumbling "I am one with nature."

"I don't really have any plans yet," I admitted. "Charlie's already spending a lot of time with Billy fishing, but that's about all. Renee wants me to visit soon, but I probably won't go until the end of the summer. How about you guys?" I smirked. "Where's Esme dragging you guys off to this time?"

Carlisle smiled. "So far, nobody knows. She usually decided the night before, or, in last year's case, the day of."

"Wow," I said, awed in spite of myself. "Has she ever considered working with the witness protection program or something?"

Carlisle laughed easily. "Oh, she's kind of 'been there, done that.' She worked with a few Nazi's and KPG's, as well as the usual citizens. She was wanted for a little help with the whole Mao Zedong fiasco, since he was an acquaintance of hers from the forties, but she reclined with a little persuasion from Alice. That's before we moved to Ohio, and when we decided that she really needed a hobby. Hence the architectural rendering," he added, gesturing around the room.


"So, how's Charlie doing? Is he still taking that medi--"


"What the--" I stopped talking and followed Carlisle into the living room to the source of the disturbance.

"Oh for the love of Bram Stoker," I muttered under my breath. This is supposed to be a VACATION! I do NOT need a bunch of immature and immortal overgrown teenage VAMPIRES ruining my summer break!

Jasper kneeled at the base of the fish tank, sobbing (metaphorically of course, what with the whole not-being-able-to-cry thing). Emmett stood behind him, looking a little too gleeful.

"Jasper?" Carlisle asked worriedly. "What happened?"

"G-G-General Leeee!" sobbed Jasper.

"What about General Lee?" asked Carlisle patiently.

"He's deaaad!"

Carlisle rolled his eyes. "Oh for crying out loud," he muttered under his breath. Then, to Jasper, "how did he die, Jazzy?"

"It was HIM!" he yelled maniacally, pointing to the fish tank. Then h broke down in sobs again. "SHERMAN, HOW COULD YOU!?"

Carlisle sighed heavily, then he helped Jasper up and guided him towards the stairs. "It's all right Jazzy, we'll get you another fish, how's that?"

"I don't want another fish," sniffled Jasper. "I want General Lee!"

Oh yeah, this was the new story of my life. Dealing with a bunch of sentimental vampire twits. Great summer, eh? I was just afraid at what Jasper was going to do when he went into the 'anger stage.'

Two hours later, there was a resounding crash in the living room. The fish tank was shattered, glass and bits of Sherman scattered all over the floor.

As well as a shotgun shell.

Authors Note: I'm baaaack. Well, Bella's in for a very interesting summer, believe you me. Review please, I'd appreciate some feedback here. Thank you.